Counting trees
Hagrid: Put a Kneazle into each tree, then walk Fang and count how many times he barks.
Ollivander: Count all wand wood trees, the mundane ones do not matter.
Kreacher: There is only one tree, the Black family tree.
Xenophilius: I disagree, the one tree is the elder tree.
Crabbe: I don't like counting. After using Fiendfyre, there are zero trees left.
Grawp: I can't count, so I'll root them all out.
Harry & Ron: Just crash into every tree, then see how many cars were destroyed during the process.
Romilda Vane: Scratch a little heart with 'H + R' written in it into each tree, then count the hearts.
Cho Chang: Change all the R's from Romilda into a C.
Sprout: There are exactly 3,293,234,212 trees.
Draco: Dobby, tell me how many trees there are!
The Sphinx: I'm the one who asks the questions!
Fred: You're JOKING!
Ginny: Destroy all the little hearts.
Lockhart: Gonna sign them all!
Helena Ravenclaw: Put a piece of my mother's jewelry in every tree, then ask her how many she's missing.
Tom Riddle: Start with my complete soul, then give the first tree exactly half of it. Give the secund one half of what remains and so on. Finally, take the negative of the 2-logarithm of the fraction of soul I have got left.
