CRACK.

If you like Twilight at all, you probably shouldn't read this. OR READ IT AND LEAVE AN ANGRY COMMENT! :) Oh I love that :) In fact, yeah, definitely do that!

Now I'm all psyched up for angry flamers. This will be delicious. xD


As he stepped into the sunlight, Edward Cullen watched his skin sparkle and glisten, and in the corner of his eye, he could see Bella's expression grow from vacant to slightly intrigued. If she knew, knew the monster that lurked beneath his flickering perception filter, she would not dare to grow so close…no, she would. She was brave, she loved him for himself. She wouldn't mind his true form.

As he pondered her loyalty, Bella closed the distance in between them, running her fingers down the cool skin of his chest, her mind not pondering the stony, almost scaly feel because his perception filter closed her mind to these thoughts.

Until, that is, her fingers brushed against his hips, where was attached the controller for the filter. Her thumb glanced against the master control switch, and instantly her expression changed from one of passion to one of disgusted terror.

Edward knew instantly what had happened; the shimmer of his perception filter blurring in the sunlight was replaced with the exoskeletal-fish body that was his true form.

"Bella—" he exclaimed, but her scream muted him. She was backing away, her hands clutching at the rushes in the meadow for some support. The only breaks in her cries came to be filled with incoherent words and heavy sobs. Her beautiful vampire…was nothing but a freak.

"You-you're not hot anymore!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

Those were her final words as suddenly, from the nowhere that is Deus ex Machina, a blue box came hurling through the air, smashing into Bella but not stopping until several meters further, at which point the girl lay, head cocked just slightly to the side as if in thought, an expression deeper than she had ever worn in life written across her face.

Inside the box, the Doctor screwed up his brow in confusion.

"What was rough-Rory, check the scanner. See if we've hit something."

The nurse rolled his eyes, though honestly he didn't too much mind being the cocky man's gofer. He left his wife on the jumpseat, and getting to his feet, spun the scanner about the console to face him. Angling it with the toggling controls, he managed to narrow in onto a body collapsed in a pool of blood several feet behind the TARDIS. Above it, a fishlike vampire creature was crouched, lapping up the blood like a dog.

Rory narrowed his eyes, shaking his head slowly.

"Nope. We're good."


:D Enjoy! Review, especially if you're an angry Twilighter who doesn't appreciate my fanfiction lulz. I would love to hear what you have to say. And then laugh about it...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO,

Bella