CAT IN THE SATIRE DEPT.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic and all other characters. They belong to Sonic Team and SEGA. No copyright is used in this story. Except this spoof. The original belongs to Yoshi 2.1. Please enjoy.

This is my second spoof. After ChelseaTheBlonde cancelled Ask The Sonic Boys!, I guess I decided to work on this piece of art. P.S., some parts will serious while others will not be.

Sonic the Spoof

Summary: An accident in Tails's lab causes... Wait, why am I explaining this again? Wasn't the description on the outside enough? You really need ANOTHER explanation of the story? And while I'm at it, why not spoil the fact the Snape kills Dumbledore, but he wanted it to happen! Seriously.

Chapter 1 (No, duh)

Tails, could you tell me again why I have to be here?", Sonic asked.

Tails just sighed. That was the tenth Sonic had asked that question (and this was the first time Tails decided to answer it).

Because Sonic I wanted you test a new invention that I built, it's far more better than everything else I've ever invented", Tails explained.

Before we do that, could you please explain where the grammar was in that sentence? Also, everything you build blows up in my face", Sonic asked.

Didn't you hear me?, it's far more better!, that makes it far more safer", Tails pleaded, getting on both of his knees.

Look, Tails, everything that blows up..., sorry, I can't work with this grammar, I mean it just sucks, couldn't you at least not make it a run-on sentence", Sonic broke the fourth wall to bring that statement.

Tails ignored Sonic's meta-humour and dragged him downstairs. The sooner they got downstairs, the sooner Tails could open the door and turn(ed) on the light. So Tails did. In the middle of the completely empty room was a jewel-encrusted 27k gun with a red undertone, which is, by the way, SO last year. It looked like Rouge was recently there since she literally had a homing device in her mind to track down jewel-encrusted 27k guns with a red undertone. (People teased her for this until she actually found one. THAT shut 'em up). Sonic had a looked of confusion plastered on his face. When he manged to get the cast off of his face, he took a good look at it.

Three questions, little bro, what the heck is that thing?, is it safe?, and did you rob a bank to get those jewels and all that gold?", Sonic enquired. He could answer at least ONE of those questions (the one about the bank), but he waited for Tails to answer.

It's a trasmografier ray, which I stole for Calvin And Hobbes, and it allows you to turn into your super form without the Chaos Emeralds and all I had to do was find all 7, strip them of their powers and throw the rocks into a trash compactor, so it's safe", Tails told Sonic (and yes, that WAS a run-on sentence).

Tails then whipped around and faced Sonic. Sonic threw his hands into the air like he as under arrest.

I'm tellin' ya, officer, I didn't do it!", Sonic begged, Tails having nothing more then a look of annoyance on his face.

Look, Sonic, all I'm gonna do is zap with this highly unstable device and see if it works instead of using on one of my test subjects, which I normally do, except PETA is really getting on my case about what I'm doing", Tails said with half-intrest, gesturing towards what seemed like a pile of internal organs and tinfoil.

And that used to be?", Sonic began, waiting for an answer.

Oh, that's just my pile of organs and tinfoil, I was reffering to what was next to it", Tails stated.

What was next to it was what I can only describe as the most horrible thing anybody has ever seen on the face of this Earth. Even the devil would have gasped in acknowledgement of how grotesque it was.

But you NEVER said anything about guns and grotesqueness on the phone!", Sonic argued, trying back away.

I did tell you about it, but you were right after I said 'Hi, Sonic', as always", Tails shot back.

But I don't wanna!", Sonic whined.

C'mon, it won't hurt one bit and besides, I was gonna get you a chili dog", Tails told Sonic.

DO IT!", Sonic shouted, stepping right in front of the gun.

Shoot yourself", Tails said, firing the gun.

The gun let out a steady stream of golden light, travelling at least 60 MPH towards Sonic's chest and when it did, the blast enveloped everything in a white light, almost completely blinding the two. About 10 seconds later, the light started to fade out and Tails got a good look at Sonic. Tails gasped and began to very slowly back away.

What's wrong, Tails?", Sonic questioned, noticing Tails.

Look in the mirror, Sonic", Tails replied quietly.

Sonic went to look in the mirror and... he was a sheep.

Wrong setting!" Tails shouted, blasting Sonic again.

10 more seconds later, Sonic looked in the mirror again.

Am I OK this time?", Sonic asked again.

Look in the mirror", Tails replied nervously, looking ready to break out into a run.

Please tell I'm not a bi-", Sonic began, but then stopped short. He didn't look ANYTHING like his old self. He was about Blaze's height, his quills were missing, his usual peach-covered arms were covered in blue fur, his ears were wider & more triangular, his tail was longer & a tad more catlike and his eyes were split, so he no longer had just one huge eyeball with two pupils. There was even a little hole where a gem should go.

Sonic, are you OK?", Tails asked, looking ready to make a break for it. He wouldn't get very far, but he would've tried.

But Sonic just spent a long time staring at himself. Tails's fear was beginning to diminish, just as Sonic spoke:

Do you think the guys at the bank will recognize me?", Sonic enquired, looking at Tails for an answer. Tails was kind of surprised that was the first thing Sonic had asked since the transformation, but Tails decided to play along. Maybe he had changed mentally as well as physically and might try to harm him if he tried. I mean, with all the Tails abuse going around on the internet, I don't wanna add to it.

Well, if you still have your bank card, I guess they could recognize you", Tails said in a tone pretty much said that Tails was trying to play along. Sonic didn't catch it.

What about the front desk?, with rising econemy, they might think I'm just some weird who got a hold of me card", Sonic retorted, crossing his arms. For some reason, he was trying to get an argument going.

As long as your thumbprint hasn't changed, you'll be all right", Tails reassured Sonic.

Sonic looked disappointed. After the two talked bananas (I'm not kidding, Sonic asked why they were so wet), Sonic told Tails he had to go.

I'll get the door for you", Tails offered.

Nah, I'm fine, I just got things to do", Sonic told Tails, getting up and leaving.

Tails was half-glad Sonic was leaving. On one hand, Tails wanted to realign the gun to turn Sonic back, but, on the other hand, Tails wanted to study Sonic to learn why he turned into a cat when Tails CLEARLY turned the gun to "Super Form".

LET'S PLAY SONIC 2006

Sonic and Elise kiss

Me: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sonic was several miles from Tails's place when what had happened slowly began to sink in. He stopped dead in his tracks (something you'll NEVER see Sonic do, besides make out with Amy (but that's rarer)).

Everything happens for a reason, right?, so why me?, what unholy thing did I do do this?", Sonic wondered aloud, looking up as if expecting an answer.

The Lord did not answer, for he was too busy screaming at Mario in a different fiction.

When Sonic didn't receive an answer, he sighed and decided a nice run to Emerald Coast would help him think.

He got down like an Olympic track runner, beads of sweat dripping down his face to make it authentic, and waited for a few seconds.

A gun somewhere went off as Sonic began his run. Everything seemed to move in slow motion (the theme to "Chariots Of Fire" was even playing the background). The ground was a colored blur of grass, flowers, animals Sonic ran over, pieces of trash and, eventually, concrete. Everything in his wake went flying at least 30 seconds after Sonic passed. When he got to Emerald Coast, he sat down on a bench, the giant ball of grass/flowers/dead animals/trash/concrete nearly missing him.

Well, I know I still have my super speed, now to figure out the rest", Sonic muttered to himself, beginning to murmur under his breath like a lunatic.

Just then, Blaze came by and here's the odd thing: she kinda, sorta, just maybe, perchance to dream, in a sliver of hope, dare I say it in everything is holy actually LIKED (as in like-like) Sonic (not that she knew it was him). The funny thing about Blaze is she never really let love past her. Ever since her duty was given, she had built a mental wall so Cupid couldn't get to her and believed me, he tried. Sure Blaze let tiny bits passed for Sonic (not-cat) and Cream, but, other then that, she never tried to love anybody. But when Blaze saw Sonic (cat) her mental literally EXPLODED (with a little mushroom cloud coming from her head and everything). Cupid took this oprotunity and maybe went a little overboard. Everything he had, he fired to make up for almost 10 years worth of missed arrows. And thanks to all that, on a scale of 1 to 10, Blaze's current attraction to Sonic (cat) ranked "Crazier Then Amy (If That's Even Possible)". The expression she had when she sat down was like Pepe L'Pew on steroids.

Hello there", Blaze greeted Sonic in an overly seductive tone (maybe it was horny tone).

Hi, Blaze", Sonic said quickly, not noticing Blaze's tone.

You know I've never met a blue cat before; I've met a green one, but I hate him, another purple one, but he's stupid, a peach one, but he's evil, AND one that's like a human water gun, but she likes to the green one", Blaze said.

But, Blaze, it's me, Sonic, the one you defeated the Eggmen with?", Sonic asked confusingly, not seeing where this was going.

Good, Grambi, you DO sound just like him!", Blaze blurted out excitedly. You could just see her hormones rising.

Are you gonna try to hit on me?", Sonic questioned, worried.

Blaze nodded yes as if to say, "Duh". Sonic shook his head no, held up a picture of Sally, pointed to it, then pointed back to himself as if to say, "Look, I'm supposed to be dating her I can't because I'm a cat. Leave me alone". Blaze shook HER head no, scooted a bit closer as if to say, "I have no idea who she is and I want you whether you like it or not". Sonic pointed to his butt as if to say, "Crap".

Sonic scooted away, but Blaze only copied him by moving closer. Sonic tried again, but Blaze moved again. This went on for a while until Sonic fell of the bench.

Look, just be mine and I'll give this up, you want that, don't you?", Blaze asked, almost mockingly.

Blaze leaned down and Sonic saw what was coming a mile away: Blaze wanted some lip-2-lip. He had to think fast, his virginity was at stake! (And he was saving it until he gave being gay a try).

Hey, Blaze, look over there!" Sonic shouted. Blaze fell for it, giving Sonic time to get outta there.

Oh, no, no! I can figure out how to cross dimension AND how to keep the Sol Emeralds from not destroying the universe along with the Chaos Emeralds, but I don't know when I'm being had!, I'm a bad, bad kitty", Blaze scolded herself.

She looked ahead of her after her little scold and noticed a Road Runner-style trail of smoke leading in the direction Sonic went.

Blaze simply giggled to herself like a madman. She got up and casually walked to the start of the trail.

This is gonna be fun", she muttered evily under her breath before she headed of in the direction of Sonic.

And that's that! This took longer then I expected, but this came out OK. No offence to Yoshi 2.1 and I hope you get all references!

Read it (in case you just skipped down here) and review!