A/N: Written for the Pocket Morty Competition (Mustache Morty: write about someone growing a mustache)
"What is that thing?" Lily demands, pointing.
James offers her an innocent grin. "That's my face, Lily. You have one, too. It's that fleshy bit attached to your skull."
The exasperated groan tells him that she is not as amused by his joke as he is.
"The thing on your face," she says through clenched teeth.
"Eyes. Lips. Nose," he answers, pointing to each feature in turn.
Her face turns a dark pink. James knows that he shouldn't be this amused by annoying her, but it's fun, and she makes it so easy.
"James Potter, I swear, if you do not quit playing games with me," she warns.
"It's a mustache, Lily. Obviously."
"Why?"
"Everyone wears them now. They're pretty fashionable. Did you see old Crouch sporting one? I'd like to have one that nice one day."
He tries not to laugh as Lily smacks her palm against her forehead. "You look ridiculous."
"A handsome sort of ridiculous," he agrees.
"Like you've glued a dead squirrel over your lip kind of ridiculous."
James frowns, rubbing a thumb over the facial hair. Admittedly, the spell didn't make it as full as he would have liked. But he's reasonably sure it looks better than a dead animal. "I think it's sophisticated," he says simply.
"James, get rid of it," she sighs. "Please."
He pouts. "You're no fun, Lils."
Still, he pulls out his wand and points it at his upper lip. A simple incantation, and the hair is gone, leaving behind smooth, bare skin. "I hope you're happy. Now I don't have a mustache."
"I hope you're happy, because now it will be more pleasant to kiss you," she says, crossing the short distance and wrapping her arms around him.
As she leans in, the door flies open. "All right, my furry brother!" Sirius calls, wearing an enviable full, black mustache.
"Bad news, Padfoot," James says. "Lily said no to the mustache."
"Well, I'm certainly not shaving mine," Sirius says stubbornly, stroking his hair with pride. "It looks dignified."
"Exactly what I said!"
Lily throws her arms into the air. "You're hopeless. Both of you!"
The door opens again, and Remus and Peter enter, both sporting mustaches.
"See! It's not fair! Now I'm the odd one out!" James whines.
