A/N: This is the result of a little too much time on my hands. And my loving of hating Twilight. And in honor of Layton's new game... which took WAY too long to come out. Also, here's hoping a certain someone gets better. She knows who she is.

Oh yeah, it doesn't take Layton to figure out I own neither Twilight nor Professor Layton.

Layton set down the book on the table in front of him and looked at Luke in confusion. "There's this puzzle I can't quite solve," he admitted unhappily; Layton had never encountered a puzzle that he couldn't solve. This feeling of helplessness was as foreign to him as the surface of the moon.

"What is it, Professor?" Luke asked, tilting the brim of his baby-blue hat up.

Layton held up a black book; a chessboard with a white queen dominated the red pawn in the background. "It is this book."

"I recognize that, Professor! That's Breaking Dawn!" Luke was intimately familiar with it, as a strange feeling arose in his stomach whenever he read about Bella. "What's the puzzle? Why it's so popular? Why Edward is capable of fathering a child? Why the Cullens sparkle in the sun?"

"No, Luke. I'm afraid the puzzle concerns Bella… and her love for Edward. I simply cannot put my finger on why she likes him so much. It is a puzzle I find even I am unable to solve."

Luke was silent. Little did he want to reveal to Layton how he had gone other these exact words in his head, how many times he had pondered that same mystery; and, as a result, how many times he had seen himself in Edward's place.

Bella sat on the other side of the coffee shop, eyeing the man who had just been reading the book about her. Well, based on her, but that was a rant for another story. The man wore a dark brown trench coat that ended smartly at his hips; his matching brown pants and burnt orange shirt perfectly complemented the top hat on his head, which he had curiously not taken off when he entered the shop.

One, this man was tall, dark, and handsome. Two, he had a voice smoother than the coffee she was slurping down. And three, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Bella sat, believing that every male in the world act like her husband (ex-husband, she now wished), waited for Layton to come over and fall in love with her. What Bella had forgotten, unfortunately, was that she was no longer in the fantasy land of sparkly vampires. This was the real world, where not every guy waited on her beck and call.

After several long minutes, Bella decided to take the initiative and go over and introduce herself. Grabbing her coffee, she stood up and crept across the floor. Her high-school insecurities and nervousness threatened to overcome her. After what seemed like hours, she stopped at the edge of Layton's table.

Both Layton and Luke looked up at the newcomer, but to very different reactions. While Luke was mentally comparing her with the Twilight protagonist, Layton stood up.

"Hello, my dear," he said, extending his hand. "How can I help you?"

Bella just about swooned. This man was a gentleman; this stood in stark contrast with Edward, as she wasn't used to this treatment.

"Well I couldn't help but notice," she began, pointing to the book on the table. "that you're reading a book about me."

"So it is you!" Luke jumped up. "I knew it!"

"Luke!" admonished Layton. "That is no way to treat a lady!" He pulled a chair from a nearby table and held it out for Bella. Swooning, she sat down.

"So this book's about you?" Luke asked.

"Well, partially. Stephenie took some creative liberties with it."

"All this talk about Twilight reminds me of a puzzle. Care to hear it?" Layton asked in such a way that clearly indicated he was going to share it either way. "Well, I find it a mystery why you are so attracted to that Edward fellow. Why is that?"

Bella opened her mouth to repeat some trite mushy reason, but found herself at a sudden loss for words. "Well… I… um… I'm not in love with him."

Layton smiled at finding the solution to his puzzle, but Luke smiled for a very different reason. A new door had been opened, revealing all the possibilities that lay before him…

"I'm not surprised," Layton admitted. "There is no logical reason for your relationship."

The sudden tinkling of the bell above the door heralded the arrival of a new customer. As the figure walked in, Bella's heart sank.

It was Edward.

A/N: Fave, review, share, shamelessly promote it, print it out and tape it to the ceiling above your bed. Whatever floats your boat, really.