I do not own hardly any of these characters (only two, really) and I asked permission from most of the people that wanted to be in my fic, so they can't sue me. The only characters I haven't asked permission to use were the ones in Excel Saga, so, in other words, Koshi Rikudo, please don't sue me for I am broke. This is a Valentines Day fan fiction, so please enjoy…

Chapter 1: What Are These For?

It is a sunny day on February 13th in F-City, F-Province. It is a relatively small city in the country of Japan, near Osaka, on the edge of the water. It's a town with the economy crumbling, leaving the suits to clean up. The citizens are unaware of such changes from all the cover-ups. There are many skyscrapers, shops, and restaurants around, but this is just merely the tiny city you pass though to get to Osaka. There are mountains to the west and a bay to the east. A very simple, yet complex place F- City, F-Province is.

The daily paper boy is shoving mail under people's doors. Hyatt dozily gets up from her restful sleep to take her morning medication. She notices that the mail is not late today and she goes over to pick it up. "Junk mail, junk mail, where is the junk mail…" she warbles as she goes through it. In the middle of the pile she finds a home-made postcard with a badly drawn picture of a manga Illpalzzo on the front "Illpalzzo!" she exclaims.

Fortunately, Excel did not hear Hyatt mention Illpalazzo, for she is too busy knawing on the kitchen table to notice screaming "must…not…eat...MENCHI!" She then dives at Menchi, a small, white coated dog that looks more like a cat then anything else, who is huddled in the corner of the room, mainly trying to stay away from Excel.

Hyatt starts reading the postcard aloud "'Dear Excel and Hyatt, report to ACROSS HQ immiedently. I have a surprise for you. – Illpalazzo' Wow, I wonder what it could be…"

Excel looks up to Hyatt with Menchi in her mouth and shrieks, dropping Menchi as she rants "Oh Illpalazzo, my love, my joy! He must have remembered that tomorrow is Valentines Day! What is it, chocolates and flowers! I LOVE YOU ILLPALAZZO!" She picks up Menchi from the ground and she runs faster then the speed of light to ACROSS HQ.

Hyatt blinks "Senior Excel is very hyper today…" She gets dressed in her uniform and walks out of the apartment. She locks the door after herself and continues on her way. She passes the neighbors and walks down the flight of stairs to the street.

Speaking of Excel and Hyatt's neighbors, Watanabe wakes up and gets the mail. He then looks at Sumiyoshi and Iwata who are sprawled out on the floor, with sake bottles in there hands. "Those idiots drank themselves to sleep last night…" Watanabe sighs as he looks though his mail "Bill...bill…bill…Iwata's magazine…oh great, a letter from Kapapu" Watanabe rips open the letter "What the Hell does the bastard want now? …" He reads the letter to himself first, and then out loud to make sure he's not imagining things. "Dear Safety Assurance Squad, I believe that I have been treating you badly as of late. I may have found a way to repay you for all of your efforts. (No, your salary is getting cut, actually, but that is not the issue at hand.) Come to my office, Misaki and the Ropponmatsu's are coming as well. Your favorite boss, Doctor Kapapu."

Watanabe is then tackled by Iwata "Where is Misaki!" Iwata holds Watanabe by the throat and yells in his face "TELL ME!"

Watanabe pushes Iwata off of him and tells him "She's at Kapapu's office, you drunk! …something about repaying us, one way or another

…sounds like BS to me…"

Iwata is already dressed and out the door by the time Watanabe is finished talking. Sumiyoshi wakes up. "Whas der racket aboot?"

Watanabe tell him about the letter and to hurry up and get dressed. As soon as Sumiyoshi is dressed, they run out the door and down the stairs into the street. They pass a fair skinned young lady with long, light brown pigtails, bright blue eyes, wearing a Love Ya! T-Shirt, blue jeans and black clogs walking in the same direction with a boy, slightly taller then herself.

The boy has blue, spiked hair, wearing a finger-covering black sleeved jacket with blue jeans. He is also carrying a sword over his right shoulder.

"Why are we doing this again?" inquires the boy.

"Because Mar…I mean Rinoa promised us something…and it could be something good…" responds the girl. "And if you loooooooove me, you'll do this for me." she adds.

The boy stops and glares at the girl with his ash-colored left eye, for his right crimson one is covered by some spikes going over it. He turns back to look where he's going, staying silent. The two seem that they are walking forever until they finally reach their destination.

The girl waves at a group of girls standing outside a small townhouse that shouldn't be near the heart of the city, but is anyway. "Hiya Fox, Med, Spark!"

Fox, who is leaning on the door to the house the unnamed girl and the unnamed boy want to get to, has on a plaid red and black mini skirt, fish net stockings, black calf boots, a long ebony sleeved top with large bell sleeves with a deep V-cut neck and her waist-length dark hair is in a fan today. She waves but doesn't talk. Instead, looks around suspiciously with her black eyes, as if something is amiss…

Med is dressed in a light green, capped sleeved T-Shirt, black jeans and white sandals. Her short chestnut-colored hair is spiked on the ends. She is too busy poking a dead squirrel in the pile of snow near a bush to notice the girl.

Spark has on a very floral T-shirt with a maroon backround. Her blue jeans are torn on the sides, up to her calfs. Her tennis shoes are swirled with indigo and plum-like colors. Her long, golden hair blows out of her face as she jumps from the evergreen tree she was in to greet the girl "Hey rea-rea!"

"Rea-rea? REA-REA!" Med screams and she runs over to rea-rea and tackle/hugs her. "How are ya?" Med asks.

Fox finally greets rea-rea with a "hey." and continues looking around.

Rea-rea falls to the cement "I'm good Med, I'm good…"

The unnamed sweatdrops "Need some help?"

Rea-rea pushes Med off "I'm good."

Spark runs over to rea-rea "Did Rinoa call you too?"

"Yup, and I brought Zero with me too!" rea-rea responds quickly. She hugs Zero "Isn't that right?"

Zero hugs back and smirks "Right."
Fox takes a few steps forward and says "Where IS Rinoa is the question…she isn't answering the door."

Med is running around rea-rea shouting "REA-REA! REA-REA!" as Zero swings his blade down, causing energy to come from it, shooting straight at Fox. She leaps high in the air and lands on the roof. She watches on as the door explodes into bits of wood.

"If she's inside, I'll find her" Zero promises.

Fox morphs into a crow and flies in through the open doorway, everyone following her lead, tearing the rented house apart.

While everybody at Rinoa's house is looking for her inside, she is two miles away from them, sitting in Kapapu's waiting room next to her boyfriend, Sylfaenas Angelforce, called Force for short.

Rinoa is wearing a azure tank top with no fancy design and black jeans. Her soft, black hair seems very straight today and she clicks her black ankle boots together while waiting. Around her neck is her blue crystal and her ruby and diamond bracelet around her right wrist.

Force isn't wearing his normal heavy armor. Instead of a Elf warrior, he looks like a normal 18 year old. He has spiked, navy blue hair, a steel blue T-shirt and some long, blue jeans. He is wearing black tennis shoes. Since he is standing up, it makes him looks taller then he already is to Rinoa.

Rinoa sighs, looking to the grey mat carpeting. "We have been waiting for an hour, what is taking him so long?"

Force looks down on Rinoa "You know you still haven't told me why we are here…"

Rinoa stares at the ground, and yawns "I have to get 'something' from a friend...nothing special…"

Force shifts his weight "You know, you could tell what this 'something' is…"

Rinoa looks up to Force and smiles "Then it wouldn't be a surprise."

Iwata comes rushing though the waiting room, past Momoji's desk, and crashes through the double oak doors to Kapapu's office. "WHERE'S MISAKI!"

Misaki is sitting in the corner of the room, staying calm with her eyes closed "I'm here, where are Watanabe-kun and Sumiyoshi-kun?"

Iwata says "…Somewhere…" when they come running into the open doors and Watanabe stops just in time, for he nearly toppled over his bosses desk.

"Sorry we're late Mr. Kapapu." Watanabe apologizes.

Kapapu's chair turns around and he takes a puff of his cigar and starts speaking "No need for apologizes boys. I have here your payment for you reward of saving this city from EVIL…"He spreads 6 slips of paper on the desk. "There is one ticket for each of you" As he talks, he shoves paper slips into an envelope and gets up, hiding the envelope from everyone's view.

"Doctor, what are these tickets for? Dairy Queen "One free small ice cream cone" coupons?" asks Misaki, annoyed for being up so early on the weekend. She blows her red hair out of her face and glares at Kapapu, her eyes glowing red"

"They are for a cruise…it's a three-day thing, so enjoy yourselves. I have other business to take care of now…I'll be on my way…" As he gets up and walks over to the door, he drops some of his cigar ashes in Watanabe's head. Watanabe yells in pain. "Oh, sorry, thought you were an ashtray until you yelled." Kapapu steps out of his office and one of the oak doors falls off its hinges. He walks over to Rinoa and looms over her "Now, what was this proposition young lady?"

Rinoa picks up a silver-coated suitcase and stands up "I have what you want…now where's your goods?"

Angelforce raises his eyebrow, looking on while thinking (When did the Yakuza become part of Excel Saga?)

Kapapu holds up the envelope "There is at least a hundred in here…take it or leave it?"

"Deal" Rinoa trades off the suitcase for the envelope.

Force looks on, confused more then he was ten minutes ago "Rinoa, aren't you having company over today?"

Rinoa looks at the envelope and thinks "...Oh, that's right…better hurry before they start worrying…"

She runs over to a larger part of the room and pulls out AngelWings. She spins the katana around and creates a large area of distorted space. "Hurry!"

Force runs into the portal after Rinoa as Momoji is waving. "Have a nice day!" she exclaims before getting up and asking Kapapu for her paycheck.

"HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ILLPALAZZO!" Excel screams at her leader, Lord Ill Palazzo, along with Hyatt, who barely made out the "-zzo" part before coughing up enough blood to fill up a bucket and falling to the floor.

"Hello Excel, Hyatt. I have a surprise for you…" Ill Palazzo starts as Excel interrupts as usual.

"IS IT A PRESENT?" she shouts anxiously. A mere two seconds later she is free falling down a hole. "OH GOD, NOT THE RAINBOW COVERED, GAY MIDGETS! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Excel yells. "THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME!"

Hyatt, frail as ever, picks herself up from the floor as Key comes barging in through the back entrance, smirking. "Oh, the muses are working harder then ever today, Ill Palazzo! I feel so enlightened!"

Ill Palazzo glares at Key, his eyes turning into flaming ball of fire "You're late…you owe me an apology…"

Key blows him off and starts playing his electric guitar "Yeah, yeah…sorry and all that other crap…"

Excel climbs out of the hole, with bite marks all over her. "Damn midgets…THEY BIT ME!"

Ill Palazzo smiles "I forgot to tell you….they were zombie, rainbow-covered, gay midgets…that explains why they tore off some of your flesh…"

Excel hits forehead with her palm "That makes sense! You are so smart, Lord Ill Palazzo!" She then falls to the floor, dead.

Excel floats in the depth of space, lying as she was in HQ.

"…Excel…..Excel…." a voice calls from the distance.

Excel slowly opens her eyes and responds with a "huh?" and a very puzzled look.

"Excel…you can't die yet…it's the beginning of the fic…what will the readers think if they saw you dead this early?" The Great Will of the Microcosm scolds.

Excel thinks, if that's even possible, and responds "Um…that I'm a weak, cosplaying weirdo?"

The Great Will restarts the scene to right before Excel interrupted. "Don't screw up this time!"

Ill Palazzo clears his throat and finishes explaining what his surprise is. "…It is a plan to infiltrate a highly populated Love Cruise and observe how the masses respond to their emotions, in this case, love. Love is a easy way to control the masses and if we can understand that, we can use it for our advantage! For we, ACROSS, will dominate the world and make it the way we see fit! Any questions?"

Hyatt rises her arm "Ill Palazzo, didn't we do something close to this last month?"

Ill Palazzo sighs "Yes, but a friend gave me the tickets and I can't sell them. It would be a waste of money to throw them out too. That's why we're going…We are going to have to pair up, we don't want to look like a bunch of single losers…Excel, you're with Key and I'm with Hyatt."

"WE'LL ALL LOOK LIKE SINGLE LOSERS!" Spark, Med and Fox shout at Rinoa in unison.

"Well…um…you might find somebody there…and…um…" Rinoa says as she trys to think of a good reason for them all to come. "…Think of it as a vacation; just relax the whole time…"

Rea-rea looks at Zero "You want to come? It might get really boring without you…"

Zero hugs rea-rea "I'm going if you are"

Force asks "Is this your Valentines present Rinoa?"

Rinoa smiles and sticks her tongue out "Only a part of it…"

"What about the weather?" Fox asks, tapping her foot to her heartbeat "Everyone will go if it's good weather…"

Rinoa turns on 'Weather Break' and reads the weather report for F-City, F-Province. "Sunny weather will stay for the next week….see, everything is fine. Now, who's going?"

Misaki hands out the tickets, and then asks impatiently, "Iwata, your going, right?"

Iwata drools, ogling Misaki's goods, "If you and the first are going I am..."

Ropponmatsu the 2nd clings to Iwata's leg "Iwa-chi!"

Iwata trys to shake her off as he screams "Get off me! You're not cute!"

Ropponmatsu puts in her poutty eyes and starts fake crying "You're so mean…"

Misaki kicks Iwata in the head "Look, you made Ropponmatsu cry…apologize you ass!"

Iwata falls to the ground, muttering under Misaki's shoe "I'm sorry…"

"Why should I go…I don't have a reason to…" Watanabe sighs.

Sumiyoshi puts his hand on Watanabe's shoulder "Yur gurlfriend mit be thur…"

Watanabe thinks about Hyatt. "Ayasugi will be there? I must go then!" he declares.

Ropponmatsu flicks her robo ears up and down. "Sumi-chan, you going too?", she asks sweetly.

Sumiyoshi sighs, rubbing his grumbling stomach gingerly, "I's goin' fer the ull ya kna eat buffet..."

Ropponmatsu the 1st writes down a clipboard that everyone is going. "Alright, time of departure is noon. Are we ready?"

Misaki lets up on Iwata and he gets up, saying "We've got to go pack..."

"Alright, be ready by twenty to. Be at the ship by ten to so we have extra time to board." The first informs the group while writing.

"Right!" the group exclaims before walking to their apartments. Watanabe walks out the door, followed by a very hyper Iwata, running from the 2nd. Sumiyoshi comes out of the office next with the 2nd and Misaki and the 1st bring up the rear.

Misaki looks up to the light colored sky. "What a beautiful day for a cruise..." she exclaims cheerfully, watching a robin soar past her crimson eyes…