Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Hydrogen

Rain pellets the dry earth. I stare at the dark skies weary. I feel drained, tired, slowly but surely fading away… lightning streaked the sky, the rain came down harder and I know that the no matter how much the water washed away the grime and filth, their blood, my blood, would forever remain here. I closed my eyes briefly.

And so this is the end…

I felt something cold nuzzle me at my neck and I let out a weary sigh. With no small amount of effort I extended my hand and opened my eyes to have Kyubbi no Kitsune, the nine tailed fox, meet my vision. "Fox." I whispered as I reached and caressed the reddish golden fur now turning dark from the moisture. It leaned to my touch.

Somehow, this isn't how I pictured the end would be. I always thought that I would remain steadfast to my belief that everything would be okay. Everything would be just fine, I would be Hokage, people would acknowledge me, Sakura would be my wife, Kakashi-sensei would reveal his face and Sasuke… Sasuke would be always there. By my side.

Psh. What a naive fool I was.

It took for one certain ex-friend to betray me, a psychotic brother of that certain ex-friend to come after me, boost with the hateful comments from the villagers that always deflates my ego, Sakura's sad face, Tsunaide's disappointed face, Iruka's disappointed face, Kakashi's disappointed masked face, and boom. Thirteen years of patience, hard work and bottled frustration and injustice of it all exploded. Shit. How did things get so wrong?

And now here I am. At the ruin which was once called the village of leaves. I let my hand slowly fall only to be held by someone else. Nine tails, it had transformed to a boy with the same likeness as me. I think. If I have my hair dyed red and had my eyes changed of course. Kyubbi… what a swell guy, er, demon.

Sure, we had our share of spats, sure he threatened and almost scared the bejesus out of me once, sure this is the first time I actually have contact with him outside my body, but like I said. He's okay. I only wish he is clothed, guess demons have no use for modesty eh?

Oh well, I saw my own body far too many times, seeing a mirror image of my own wouldn't make any difference would it?

I don't remember much, my seal broke. I think.

You think? A sarcastic voice inside my head retorted. And no it's not nine tails.

Fine. My seal broke. It was right after the mission to retrieve Sasuke when I was too angry for words. Too angry at that…bastard, too angry at my teammates, too angry at Sakura for not helping, too angry at Kakashi for always coming late, Too angry at Tsunaide-baba for just sending mere genins like us, too angry at Jiraiya for not being there and too angry at myself.

And the aftermath? I just blew it. I guess all that stress, frustration, anger, sadness, and all that shit that's been building up for years finally got the better of me and I just went out like a shaken cola bursting the top off with a lot of fizz. I just…. I just wanna stop it all. End it all. The hurt, the pain, what the…I'm such an idiot. God Iruka-sensei I even killed you too.

"You're thinking too hard." I felt a finger trying to smoothen the wrinkles between my brows. Huh. I blinked as I felt arms go under my legs and my back as my former prisoner carried me. The fox started walking with all his naked glory toward the direction of my apartment. The only thing left standing here.

Funny, it was the demon that everyone feared that actually made an effort to really stop me without actually trying to kill me. It's hard to swallow but I'm not really a strong shinobi. Maybe above average or more but the point is there are more than one person who always could top me off as I am reminded time and time again.

It's their fear that fueled my anger. Either they didn't trust me enough or didn't trust me at all, they attacked me. ME! I'm a separate entity form the demon now hellooo. I would have said that if they had given me the chance too. And that fox, who had stayed where he was doing nothing, for the life of me I couldn't get why, saved me. It's like Kyubbi vs. Konoha again only this time there's no fourth Hokage doing any sealing on some unfortunate infant and no Uzumaki Naruto fighting for his village.

I was feeling too angry and betrayed to fight for them

I…

The fox deposited me gently at my bed and immediately I curled up under my covers, hiding.

I…killed them.

My only friend, the only one left lied down and curled around me, embracing me in a somewhat protective manner.

I killed them. Iruka-sensei, Sakura-chan, the rookie guys, Tsudnaide-baachan, Kakashi-sensei, Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon…It's my entire fault.

"Sleep. Rest for now brother. Perhaps tomorrow would be better." I closed my eyes and buried my head on the fox's chest letting his low voice drown away my guilt if for a moment.

Shit. I really did become a demon.

…………………..

It was the chirping of the birds that drew me to my semi-consciousness state. I lay there in the comfortable darkness, praising the restful slumber silently. It has been a long time, I pondered, since I have a rest like this and barely remember how exhausted I had been to bring it about.

This in turn made me wonder what I did to myself warrant something like this.

I shifted and turned to the warmth of the bed I lay on. Making full use of what comfort around me as if afraid to let go, I spread myself content to just let myself lay there in the warmth not questioning it. The idea of even opening my eyes was something I could not acknowledge, nor would be the question why I am scared to do so.

As more awareness started to return, I began to sense the little things. The first thing is that my body just didn't feel…right…somehow. I could not pinpoint what but there's something definitely wrong that makes me uneasy. The second thing I noticed is that I was not alone. Why is there someone in his apartment?

I cast my mind back; last thing I remember is blood, fire, death then warmth. I gave an unconscious shudder. No. It must be a dream. I could hear the noisy bustle of busy merchants and early shoppers just outside the window.

It's probably just Sasuke or Sakura ordered by Kakashi-sensei to fetch me.

Then why aren't they waking me up?

I moaned. The hushed movements stopped inside my apartment stopped. It hadn't registered before, not until the silence left behind filled the space in my ears where they had been. I stayed perfectly still, barely breathing, heart beating rapidly in my chest.

Something moved and I could tell the exact direction with accurate precision. I am puzzled how sure I am and somewhat disturbed that I could tell that it was neither one of my teammates yet someone familiar nevertheless. My senses seem sharper, more defined that it used to and I felt overwhelmed. I don't think I'm drugged which was…strange. It's just…my body isn't quite the same anymore.

The bed dipped as the other occupant of my house sat down. I felt more than a few seconds earlier the coming warmth as the person touched my cheek gently? Huh?

"Time to wake up brother."

That voice!

I'm sure my brows went beyond my hairline as my lids shot open. There was no faking on that account. My eyes almost popped at the achingly familiar molten gold staring back at my own, the wild fiery hair on its head, I screamed.