Cearbhail: Ok, this was the first stoy I wrote. I did it as a test but since people are actually reading it, I decided to go back and rewrite it to make it better. I hope you enjoy the revamped version of this story. Let me know if you enjoy the changes.


The day begins when I wake up from my three hour slumber. I contemplate the white ceiling and just how I enjoy the basic blank color of white. It felt so sad, though. It was plain, ordinary, no more beautiful than ugly to look at, but it still had a sense of pure feeling to it. I sat up and grabbed my belt sitting next to me on my nightstand. It is only 3 in the morning. I could have spent this time talking to Regal or on the board of shaped wood in the corner of my room that I was making into a good luck charm.

I decided to use the knife on my belt to whittle the block of wood into a protection charm for someone. I didn't know who yet, but I would keep it on my body until I figured out who would receive it. I spent a good hour on the charm before I placed my knife down and stared out my window. The stars are beautiful tonight but it was the clouds that I could barely see that I was looking at. Those clouds meant more to me than anything else in the sky. I couldn't explain why nighttime clouds were lovely; maybe it was the fact that they did not appear white like ordinary clouds. They looked darker than the rest of the sky, obscuring the view of our moon and stars. The sight of a cloud beginning to cover the moon relaxed me more than whittling charms.

I probably just stand there until I see the sun rise. That would mean that I stood here for almost two hours without moving or really thinking about anything in particular. The cloud ceased being the dark lovely clouds that I loved and instead morphed into Colette's favorite clouds; pink, purple, and yellow. I usually started looking down at the snow on the windowsill about now.

It was true that the snow glittered in the rising sun light, but I was busy watching the snow fall. It isn't long before I hear a knock on my door. Colette, as always, lets herself in and proceeds to talk to me. She begins telling me about the night she spent with Lloyd and how amazing it was.

"Colette, last night was amazing. Lloyd took me out for a really nice dinner out in Flanoir's ice caves last night. You should have seen how the ice crystals just gleamed in different shades of light. It was really amazing."

"Does this dinner of yours make you and Lloyd a couple as everyone here tells me?" It was a common thing to hear people talk about. Sheena and Zelos were supposed to be a couple, though I lacked the ability to see it. Maybe I just did not understand what it meant to be a couple or have a relationship.

Colette's face flushes and she brings her hands up to express her opinion. She says, "We're not a couple. It's not like that. We're just friends." She says as she jumps up and down. She lands on one of her robe-tails and trips on it. She falls backwards but I stop her from hitting the floor by grapping onto her dress and pulling her back up. She thanks me and awkwardly makes her way downstairs for breakfast. I decide to follow, like I do every morning.

Downstairs, I sit patiently while Genis and Raine prepare breakfast. Colette continues to talk to me and I patiently listen to her story, silently enjoying our one-sided conversation. It's not that I don't want to talk back; it's that I have no personal experience to talk about. The conversation was about what she did with Lloyd and Genis when they were children. I could barely remember what I did when I was a child. It seemed like it was an eternity ago, but the time in between growing was even more so blurred.

I looked at Zelos while he snuck up on Sheena. As far as I could tell; Sheena had no idea that Zelos was coming up behind her and I wanted to say something but I figured that the ninja did in fact, know that he was right behind her. He reached out with his hands and wrapped his hands around Sheena's chest and decided to yell out "Good morning, Sheena!"

Sheena screamed out as Zelos starting squeezing her. I'm not sure why that bothers her so much but Sheena breaks from his hold and proceeds to beat his face in with her magic cards.

Genis and Raine were cooking breakfast. Genis kept looking at me and then back at the food he was preparing. I enjoyed watching them cook. I found it interesting how they managed to make ordinary dishes into works of art. Genis' food was decorative but unnecessary. He did things to the food that made it look better but it did not actually change the physical taste of the food. I thought it was a waste of time and energy.

Breakfast finally comes and mine's in the oddest shape. My pancake looks like a heart. I think nothing of it, other than a misfortunate mistake of the batter cooking. Either that or it could be one of Genis' little changes to make the food look better. I looked around at everyone else's plates. None of them looked quite as hearty as mine looked so I reasoned that they were just a misfortunate mistake.

Breakfast finishes up and I start to wash the dishes. Zelos comments on how cute I look while Lloyd grabs his swords. Emil and Marta just now return from their date. I must admit that Emil had become a strong man, just like he wanted to. That and he finally allowed himself to like Marta, which surprised me. I never thought that Emil would accept his feelings for her but I guess I miscalculated on that.

Lloyd walks up to me with his swords. I stopped washing the dishes to face him. I know what he was about to ask me. This had been a common thing for him to do since we met. Lloyd walks up to me and says, "Hey, Presea. Let's spar."

I know that he wants to be prepared for some big battle that inevitably would come. He always asked me to fight him because I'm the only person strong enough to give him a challenge as far as close combat goes. Emil could in fact fight him, but Emil's shy side takes over and he just finds reasons why not to fight him. This is the one time I allow myself to hang out with Lloyd. The time we spent swinging weapons at each other.

I look at Colette and ask her to finish the dishes. She is happy to finish them. Lloyd and I go outside, with Genis and Raine following close behind us. Genis comes outside for moral support and Raine follows us out for healing support.

I begin my fight with Lloyd. Genis comes out to cheer me on, as he does every day. Raine stands there, arms crossed. Lloyd charges at me. I note that his feet are not heavy on the ground and the ground is still slick from all the snowfall. I know how to win, but for sparring purposes, I will hold off of victory until Lloyd is tired. He slashes at me; I block. He slashes; I block. I swing my axe lightly; he tries to block, but flies off of his feet and into the snow. I wait for him to stand up. We repeat several times before Raine calls it. Lloyd is upset but then he passes out. I know he'll be out for an hour or so. Just like clockwork.

Genis comes up to congratulate me and he starts to ask me a question. His face starts turning red. He does this every day. I believe he has some sort of illness, or maybe a fever. We have been standing out here in the snow for almost an hour now.

I place my hand on his head and indeed I can feel the beginnings of a fever. He's even sweating out in this cold weather. That could not be a good sign. I said, "Genis, your face it blushing and you're forehead is burning up. I suggest you get some rest before you become ill."

Genis acts like a child and said, "Pre-Presea… the cold doesn't bother me. I can stay out here all day long…without my shirt off if I wanted."

I nodded and said, "I am sorry to doubting your abilities of weathering the cold weather, Genis. I am just worried that you will make everyone else sick when you get sick. I am sorry if I offended you in any way."

Genis threw his hands up and said, "Presea…I didn't mean to say…I meant…uh…" Genis turned around and took off. I stood there waiting for him to come back and see if he'd further try to explain himself. I am very aware of his inability to talk around me and I'm the only person who can complete his sentences when he tries to talk to me. Even so, I had no idea what he was trying to say this time. I still don't understand why he acts the way he does.

I decide to go back into my room where I change out of my winter gear and back into my house clothes of my gray dress. I place my winter jacket back into my closet along with my gloves and boots so that they could dry off on a mat that absorbed all the snow. I hear a knock on my door and I go to check it. Raine looked at me with her excited eyes. She said, "Can I please study your cruxis crystal again?"

I decided to let Raine study my crystal again. I wait patiently in my room while she prods my neck and studies the magic whirling inside it. It seems stable and she evaluates my body's strength. There is still no telling if I will start growing again but Raine believes that there is no reason for why I shouldn't. In the two years Raine has studied me, I have found that my personality is slowly starting to return to me and I have grown a few inches. That is a clear sign that the cruxis crystal is in fact, no longer trapping me in a non-growing body. Raine leaves the room to go check on Colette's cruxis crystal.

I sit down on my bed and just let my mind drift for a while. It had been one year since Emil sealed the demon world from ours and I still didn't find myself around everyone as much as I should have. We were only visiting here for the month and I was falling under a routine that seemed easy for myself and others to work in.

I sit there for an hour or so before Lloyd taps on my door. He walks into my room and throws his thumb up. "Ok, Presea. Let's go on round two now."

We make our way outside and Raine rolls her eyes but follows us anyway. We start fighting again with the same results as the last time we fought. Lloyd was actually giving me a slightly harder time than he was earlier. He must have really wanted to get stronger but he was still no match for me. We do this sparring match about three to four times a day depending on how conscious Lloyd is by the evening.

We finally finish up our fight and we get ready for dinner. Genis smiles at me with his goofy grin that I find slightly childish but pure. I did enjoy his ability to show his emotions outright and at a second's notice. It was something that I no longer could do.

He said, "Hey, Presea. Did you enjoy the heart shaped pancakes I made for you?"

I thought back to the pancakes. "I noticed the heart shape to them but as far as that fact aside meant nothing to the actual taste of my pancakes. I believe they would have tasted just as good without the unnecessary shaping."

I looked back at Genis to see that his smile was wiped off his face. I wondered if I somehow insulted his cooking skill. He just stood there, open-mouthed and he looked shocked.

I decided to fix my statement. "Genis, I appreciate the pancakes you made for me and I cannot wait to try more of them. They are beautiful and as delicious as anything on this world could ever be. Thank you." The look on Genis' face started to bubble back again and he gladly walks off to master his cooking skill. I hated lying to him like that but I guess his ego as is important to him as anyone. It was unfair of me to expect different from him.

I watched as Genis acted like the child he was. I looked down at my own hands and noticed that I too am a small person. I didn't feel big like I was supposed to. I'm older than Lloyd but I look younger than Genis. Genis at least looks like a fourteen year-old. I may have grown an inch or two but the lack of developing woman parts keep me looking like a 12 year old. I wonder if it was ok that I just accept my body as it was and just accept that I am still a child too. I wish I could but something still says that I may look young but inside I am old.

Dinner finishes up and I travel upstairs to look at my blank ceiling. Everything is quiet and I just lay there, thinking about my life and how unfair it has been. But then I start to think about what the tradeoff has been. I made wonderful friends who accepted me as I was while my own neighbors threw rocks at me every time I walked past them. I found the place where I belong because we were all outcasts of our own design. Lloyd was an outcast from his town. Genis and Raine were born outcasts. Regal was a prisoner, Colette was a Chosen, as was Zelos. The Chosens knew that their lives were not theirs to live and that made them outcasts from society. Emil was something not entirely human and Marta was from a dysfunctional father who right now wanted to be alone.

Everyone from our group did something to make themselves an outcast or someone who at least didn't belong. The only exception was Sheena, even though she still harbored the blame of getting her people killed from Volt a long time ago. That made her an outcast in her own mind. We all belonged with each other because none of us truly felt we belonged anywhere else.

I decided to contemplate this next night before I go to bed. I do this every night but when I wake up I decide to not tell the others because I don't feel they think the same way I do. I close my eyes and allow myself one emotional thought. Images of my sister and my father fill my mind up. I pray to them that they are safe and happy wherever they are. I hope that they at least forgive me. I silently let one tear roll down my cheek before I drift off. Tomorrow, it'll probably be the same routine.


Cearbhail: So, that's my story. It's still short because it is in Presea's POV. She doesn't really seem to focus on what's going on around her as far as personal interaction goes. Anyway, let me know what you thought of it. And check out the sequel: Genis' Adventure to find Presea.