CoE4 DID NOT HAPPEN. … but I couldn't help writing a lil something for that scene – you know which one I mean – cuz I thrive on the angst. I know, I'm a bad person ;) disclaimer: sadly I don't own any of these beautiful men

"We've got to get you out of here. I can survive anything but you can't." and he's not panicking, not yet anyway. Because he's still got hope. He's Captain Jack Harkness, for Christ's sake, and if anyone can save you, it's him. That's what you tell yourself, anyway. The words that come out of your mouth are more along the lines of, "Too late – I breathed the air."

And you can almost see it in his eyes – uncomprehending at first, but it dawns on him like a bolt of lightning. His first reaction is one to save you - "There's got to be something. Gotta be an antidote." And there he is, pleading with a monster. For you. "You said you would fight." It says, emotionless. And usually Jack would be just as cool and collected when dealing with a situation like this, but he can't.

Because you're dying.

"Then I take it back, alright? I take it all back, but not him." The desperation is evident in his tone, but you're drifting, and all you can think about is the feeling of his arms around you – wait, how did you end up on the floor?

"No, no no no… Ianto, no," and you wonder what he's so upset about. Your mind is hazy, but not hazy enough for you not to marvel at the blueblue colour of his eyes, at the familiar, warm scent of his coat – it smells of home.

"It's all my fault." Don't be silly – it's never your fault. Of course it's not and I love you. That's what you want to say, but all you can manage is "No it's not."

"Don't speak, save your breath." And you see it in his blueblue eyes. You're dying. And there's nothing he can do. Best to get it out now then, you tell yourself, before it's too late.

"I love you…" but it's a broken sob, not all strong like it sounded in your head. Because you're dying and there's nothing he can do.

"Don't… Ianto, Ianto, Stay with me Ianto, Stay with me please." He begs, and then he's crying too. And you can't bear to see him cry, so you try to change the subject. "It was good, yeah?" "Yeah."

And then you say the one thing that you've wanted to say all your life, but now's the time when it really counts. And it's the most heartfelt thing you've ever said.

"Don't forget me."

Oh God, please don't forget me. Don't let me become one of those people from your past that you try so hard to forget. Please.

"Never could." And it seems sincere enough, but maybe that's just because you're here, and you're dying. "1000 years time? You won't remember me." And even to your own ears you sound broken. Because you know – he won't, how can he?

"Yes I will. I promise I will… Ianto, Ianto Don't Go, Don't leave me Please. Please Don't." and he's weeping. And it breaks your heart to see. You try to raise your hand to brush away his tears, like he's done so many times for you, but you find that your arm is so heavy, and you're tired.

So you look into his eyes, his blueblue eyes, and the last thing you feel is his feather-soft lips pressing themselves to yours with such a desperate sadness and such a hunger that you're almost glad you're leaving this world.

Almost.

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xx