Just saw 3x22 To Love and Die in LA for the first time, and I loved it. I loved it so much, in fact, that it inspired me to write my first-ever Castle one-shot takes place after that night in Castle's studio when they have a 'moment' on the couch - Beckett ends it, goes into her room and then, after hesitating, goes back into the living room to meet Castle - but he's just gone to his room. My description doesn't do that scene justice, it really touched me for some reason. Anyway, this one-shot takes place after that scene. First part is in Beckett's point of view, second part in Castle's. Just trying them out!

Don't own Castle, in case you hadn't figured. (Can anybody tell me whether these disclaimers are really necessary?)


She stared at the door for hours after she'd closed it again.

Had this been that elusive window of opportunity, a window she had missed? Had that, maybe, been their one chance together? Back home, there was Josh. There was work and its demanding schedule, and there would be little time for… anything.

Here, it was them. And yes, Royce' s murder haunted her, but his words did, too. You and Castle have something real.

They did. For all their teasing, joking comments and playful banter, she knew they worked well together. She knew that what they shared was something that was not often seen with the police, let alone anywhere else. Their individual talents merged flawlessly to create one strong crime-fighting duo, and it worked.

Which was why she was so afraid she would lose it.

She'd been so close, tonight. That moment after she had first closed the door, she had been incredibly torn up. To go back into the living room and simply be with him seemed amazing, wonderful. It was what she, if she was completely honest with herself, had been wanting for a while. It was what she dreamt of at night, far more than she did of Josh. She knew it was not fair to him, either.

Josh … Josh was perfect.

But not for her.

Kate wasn't one for sweeping statements, but she had a feeling that the man who was asleep only two doors away, the man she'd shared a moment with tonight and the man who's helping her catch the murderer of her mentor, her friend -I was in love with you- - that that man would be more perfect for her than Josh had ever been.

He lay awake for hours after they'd gone to bed.

So close – they'd been so close. He hadn't meant for it to happen, any of it. He just wanted her to smile again, to have a moment with her that wasn't consumed by Royce, by death. A moment with the living.

He'd been frightened by his own honesty – and after that, even more by her own. It had been as close as they'd ever been – until she'd stood up.

He didn't blame her. She was afraid, he knew, and so was he. She was wondering about Josh, and work, and he couldn't help her with that, not really. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he was ready for it, let alone she. There were so many things to consider, so many paths that could be taken. He knew that, for his part, he'd felt this way for a long time – but what about her? She was with someone else, after all. And even though he was fairly certain that on that couch earlier, he hadn't even crossed her mind, he was still a factor.

He sighed. He wished he could just go out there and into her room, to simply be with her. He wanted to kiss her and tell her that the pain of Royce's death would pass, and only leave a small mark in the end. He wanted to make her smile and look at him with that fond twinkle in her eyes, the one that said 'I'm not really annoyed with you, I'm just pretending.' He just wanted her, and it pained him to think that that moment on the couch had been their only opportunity.

It simply couldn't be. Back home, there was Josh and her regular life, and it would leave no more room for him than it had before.

He felt himself falling deeper every day and he didn't even care anymore. He was lost; lost in her eyes when she smiled at him, lost in her words whenever she talked.

He was lost, but if this was how it felt, he didn't ever want to be found.


Cheesy final line, I know, but I couldn't find another way to close.

Did I do Castle and Beckett justice?