DISCLAIMER:I don't own Death Note, Hellsing, The Get Backers, Weiss Kreuz, Gravitation, Inuyasha, or Bleach. All of those wonder entities of blissful entertainment belong to their respectful owners.


Anger Management?! Ha—Psycho-Therapy is the Name

By: CelticPyroPrincess

Chapter One: Here They Come

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ichigo asked me, sounding skeptical.

Straightening out the papers on my desk, I responded, "Don't worry Strawberry. Things are going to work out just fine."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Ichigo shouted in a chibi rage.

I ignored him, picking in my ear with my pinky finger. "I think that I have everything in order. My straitjackets even came in on time. So did the tranquilizer guns, the sedatives, and the stun guns."

"WHAT?!" Ichigo shouted. "You need all that?!"

"Yes," I said, smiling sweetly. "We are, after all, treating some of anime's most psychotic SOB stories."

"SOB stories?" Ichigo echoed before he dawned on him what I'd said. "Oh. Sons of a bitch stories."

"Yup. These dudes are pretty dang crazy if I may say so myself. I'm pretty coo-coo myself, so I think I know crazy when I see it."

"You're crazy?" Ichigo asked, looking slightly alarmed.

"Pffff." I waved dismissively at him. "Have you seen me while PMSing?" I chuckled darkly to myself. "One minute, I'm crying my eyes out, and the next, I'm demanding chocolate." I laughed, shaking my head.

"Doesn't sound so bad."

"When I don't get my chocolate, things get violent," I said, turning to my companion. "I tend to attack with anything in my vicinity. Including sharp and hard things."

Ichigo gulped, his eyes wide, and moved away from me. "Should I go stock up?"

"Not for a few more weeks," I said.

There was a knock at my office door.

"Come in," I said, and my amazingly smoking' hot secretary, Schuldig came into the room. The sight of him wearing glasses with his long hair pulled back into a messy ponytail almost made me melt into a puddle of goo.

"What is it?" I asked.

"They're here," Schu told me. "And do you mind telling me why Farf is here?"

"HA!" I barked. "Don't tell me that you don't think that he doesn't need it! He's a God-bashing knife-freak for crying out loud!"

"I agree," Schu said. "So…Should I take them to the conference room?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'll be there in a few."

Schuldig stepped out, closing the door behind him. Once he was gone, I opened the bottommost draw of my desk, and began to pull out some stun guns, and tanks. "You should take some of these, Strawberry," I said, throwing some equipment in his direction.

He glared at me, his eyebrow twitching. "I'm gonna pretend that you didn't just call me that, and ask you why I need this stuff."

"You're my assistant, of course," I said innocently. "You're gonna help me straighten these suckers out."

"WHEN DID I DO THAT?!"

"Yesterday. You told me that if I let you shove your face into my chest, you'd help."

"KON!" Ichigo screamed. "You know that I would never do that, Kilala!"

"I know," I said. "But still, it was your mouth. So what if someone else was using it." I shrugged. "Now let's go!"

"You play dirty!"

"And I love it," I said, leading Ichigo out of the room.


ANNNNND the first chapter is up and done! It only took me a few minutes to get it written and posted! proud of self. Well, you get to meet the nutcases in the next chapter. Sorry this one wasn't that funny, but the next will be better as I reveal my clients. Stay tuned, rate and review, and pass on word of this series to you friends!

OWARI! CelticPyroPrincess a.k.a. Kilala