She sits there. Her tortured eyes are dark. Her body is limp; she isn't moving. She is a doll; a mere mass of empty lips and a bleeding heart and gorgeous fiery hair that isn't so fiery anymore.

You're worried. She hasn't eaten in days. Her eyes are unseeing but you know she can't get that black hair hazel-brown eyes tall thin wiry body and those glasses—those fucking glasses—out of her mind. You can't either.

You told her three days ago. You walked into their beautiful home and wondered dully what it was like to be dead. Her skin was glowing and she smiled so wide and you could tell her eyes were only slightly confused about the whereabouts of her husband. You melted into a sad-looking couch and she asked you 'what's wrong?' in a voice so scared that your heart broke.

He's dead.

She stiffened. Her face turned as red as her hair. Then she was screaming.

You bastard! This isn't funny. Don't you dare joke about this!

You shook your head, slowly, sadly. Your head hurt. No, you had sobbed. I'm serious. And then you're hysterical and Lily Potter is starting to cry and you think it's because she realizes she's going to spend the rest of her life waiting for the man she loved—the father of her unborn baby—to come home. And tears are streaming down your face because James fucking Potter cannot be dead and you're broken and your best friend is gone and so you repeat it. I'm serious. And then: realization. You laugh drunkenly. I'm Sirius.

You don't know why the hell you're still here.

You're sitting in a sad house on a sad chair and next to you is a sad woman sitting on a sad bed and both of you are trying to ignore the fact that the house smells like James.

Lily looks broken. She looks dead. But then you think, no, she isn't dead.

He is.

You feel sick and Lily is clutching desperately at her swollen stomach because that's the only thing she has left of James Potter, now. And suddenly it's so quiet and she's so empty and you're screaming and tears are raining on your face and you fucking miss him too. And you're shrieking and Lily Potter is so silent and when you slap her, her eyes are still so far away.