Inside Of You
BY: Lara Winner
And I'm sure I can pretend
To be a gentleman
But before I began
I just gotta know
What do I have to do
To get inside of you
Hoobastank - "Inside of you"
It was a universal law.
The most basic display of cause and effect.
Even the fact that he was the wielder of destruction and the harbinger of decay could not alter the course of this particular series of events because it was pure common sense, really.
Knowledge was power and from that power came opportunity. With knowledge came the means to create and to destroy; dependent entirely on the whim of its master.
But gaining knowledge did have one drawback, one little flaw that a curious cat with questionable ethics should have had the foresight to take into consideration.
Knowledge, once acquired, could not be unlearned. Knowledge could change everything, in the blink of an eye. Knowledge cruelly yanked away the security blanket of the unknown. It threw its master into dangerous territory without so much as 'bon voyage, sucker'.
Adrien's eyes jerked up as Marinette entered the classroom.
Ignorance was bliss. He truly understood that now. Because just this morning he was in control. He was oh so blissfully ignorant and happy. He could look at his friend and not feel like a total creeper.
Gently, his fingertips trail over my skin, followed by teeth as he nips at my neck-
He couldn't stop the way his eyes followed the naked curve of her shoulder, drinking in the sight of her graceful neck, bared as she turned her head to talk to Alya. The tank top she wore- if it could be called that- had thin spaghetti straps and the neckline rode right along the top of her bosom. He was pretty sure she wasn't wearing a bra.
His hands are warm as they slide under my shirt and over my breasts, squeezing lightly-
His palms tingled and his fingers twitched. He couldn't tear his eyes away, not even if his life depended on it.
As Marinette started up the steps to her seat, her pert and perfect little breasts bounced ever so slightly.
Yeah, she definitely wasn't wearing a bra.
Holy fucking hell, if he didn't get a grip he was going to spend the afternoon in sticky boxers. Not an appealing prospect in the least.
It was amazing, mind boggling really, how everything was different now that he knew.
As Marinette passed his seat she let out a soft gasp, her attention snapping to a point just past his shoulder. A small part of his brain dimly realized that she'd found it.
A much, much larger part of his brain focused on the sound she'd made, wondering what it would take to get her to make that sound again.
He could bite, if she asked nicely.
"Mari?" Alya whispered, loudly enough that Adrien could hear without drawing the attention of their classmates, "Did you really leave your diary on your desk?"
No. She'd actually dropped it on the floor by her desk. He was nice enough to put it on the desk for her. But Adrien didn't say that out loud because… well, he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get a thank you for his troubles.
Marinette's response was a squeak.
He liked that noise too.
It was a relief when Nino slid into the bench seat beside him. He needed the distraction desperately.
"Dude, you alright?" Nino asked, one brow arching as he took in Adrien's strained smile.
"Yeah," just mind blown, shell-shocked, sporting a stiffy from hell... Adrien nodded, "I'm good."
As Nino began to talk animatedly about the cd he'd purchased during lunch break, Adrien only half listened. There was whispering coming from the two girls sitting behind him and he could have sworn he heard his name more than once. When the final bell rang and their teacher commanded the attention of the class, he finally began to relax.
While taking notes was helping to redirect his focus, Adrien was still a bit hot and bothered, which was a perfectly normal reaction for a seventeen year old boy when confronted with…
with the…
Pornographic?
No, that word suggested something dirty and obscene. What he'd read in his friend's diary was soft and sweet just like Marinette herself.
Sensual. That was a much better word.
He was turned on by reading Marinette's sensual fantasies. And it certainly hadn't hurt his arousal or his ego to find that she was fantasizing about doing those kinds of things with him. But that didn't mean he was proud of what he'd done. In fact, he felt incredibly guilty about invading her privacy like that.
In his defense, he didn't realize it was her diary at first.
The non-descript journal seemed harmless enough when he noticed it on the floor beside her desk. He glanced up to see who might have dropped it but he was the last person in the classroom. So he'd slipped it into his bag with the intention to ask about it after lunch.
He had no good excuse as to why he succumbed to temptation and decided to peek inside the book. It would be nice if he could blame Plagg but Adrien had always had a curious nature even before taking up the black cat miraculous.
Once settled in the towncar, Adrien stole a quick glance just to make sure Gorilla was focused on the road, then set the journal on his lap and open it up to a random page. He recognized Marinette's loopy pemenship instantly but what caught his attention was his name. So he started to read.
He should have stopped. The second he realized that what she had written wasn't meant for his eyes- or anyone else's for that matter- he should have closed the book and put it away. But it was already too late. He was sucked in. He was trapped inside her words, learning the secrets that sometimes made her a stuttering, blushing mess around him. He was caught with his own pounding heart and flaming face, lost in the feelings her words invoked.
Then he flipped the page and nearly choked.
He wasn't expecting a collection of rough sketches to illustrate exactly what she pictured in her mind.
At that point he slammed the journal closed and avoided Gorilla's stoic gaze in the rearview mirror. It was the longest and most uncomfortable ten minute car ride of his life.
Once home, he'd taken the stairs two at a time to his room and locked the door for good measure. He pulled out some cheese for Plagg and then locked himself in the bathroom. Sitting on the floor, his back to the door, he started from the first page and absorbed all that could.
Every word.
Every image.
He wanted to keep them all for himself.
Marinette wrote of soft touches and passionate kisses. She described the paths across her body that she wanted him to follow with his lips and tongue. Then she turned her focus to the areas of his body that she wanted to explore and Adrien was unmanned, laid bare by her desires and branded by his own.
By the time he reached the last page he was breathless and aching.
Then the alarm on his phone sounded to alert him it was time to return to school and the hazy lust that addled his brain was rudely stripped away as if he'd been doused with ice water.
As he closed the diary he noticed the name scrawled on the inside cover.
Marinette Agreste.
Complete with a heart dotted above the i.
Adrien swallowed hard as the true folly behind his actions suddenly came collapsing down from all angles.
Marinette… she was… in love with him. In love. The real deal. As in he could hurt her and… what the fuck? When did this even happen?
More importantly, how was he going to talk to her without being reminded that she touched herself and thought of him?
That she wanted her first time to be with him.
That she drew a picture of straddling his face and he found it really fucking sexy.
It was about that time that Adrien realized how badly he'd fucked up. Because, while it was all too easy to be seduced by Marinette's innermost thoughts and ride the high of learning her most guarded secrets, it was going to be infinitely harder to face her and act as if seeing this part her of hadn't changed some part of him as well.
The ride back to school was just as uncomfortable as before and Adrien's knee bounced the entire time with nervous energy. Would Marinette take one look at him and know? Would she call him out for being an insensitive jerk?
Thankfully he was the first student back to class and he'd tossed the journal onto her desk with a sigh of relief and sank down into his seat.
So far Alya hadn't tried to strangle him and Marinette hadn't run from the room in tears so he was going to assume his crime might just remain undiscovered.
He just had to play it cool. Act normal. Be poster boy Adrien and make sure none of his Chat tendencies leaked though and he didn't something really stupid like start flirting with her...
But would that really be a bad thing?
Granted, he'd never thought about Marinette in that way before now. And that was probably a damn shame on his part because she was an amazing girl, he'd admit that in a heartbeat. She was a constant in his life, one of his closest friends, someone that he could trust and depend on. And he was definitely the biggest idiot on earth for not catching on to her feelings sooner.
Did that mean he wanted her to be more than a friend?
Honestly, he wasn't sure.
He didn't have many true friends; actually Nino, Alya and Marinette were it. And to risk losing that bond with Marinette because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and his hands to himself was a chance he wasn't too keen on taking. Maybe, if he could say it wasn't his hormones talking and he was legitimately interested in her then it would be different.
But he'd never had that infatuated feeling for Marinette.
With Ladybug he'd felt it from the start. Butterflies in his stomach, a racing heart, unable to think about anything else… he'd been a goner before he even knew what was happening. With Kagami it was similar, not nearly as intense but there was something about her that appealed to him.
Obviously he had a type.
But with Marinette it was different. They'd been friends for years now. They were two peas in a pod. Other than his alter-ego, there wasn't a single thing he couldn't confide to her. He'd thought they were on the same platonic page. Obviously he was very wong.
And maybe it was because he was just weird or maybe it was due to his career in an industry where fucking your way to the top was normal, but he would put more value in platonic relationships than sexual ones any day. Still, the thought of ignoring this newfound knowledge and not utilizing the opportunity presented didn't feel right either.
So what the fuck was he supposed to do?
Adrien needed time to think. His brain was on overload, his body was in overdrive and he was in no way ready for things to change.
That would have to be good enough for now.
Later that night Chat Noir's head wasn't really in the game.
He kept up with Ladybug mostly out of muscle memory and reflex. He leapt from rooftop to rooftop, just one step ahead but his mind wasn't on his actions. His thoughts were still going in circles, still fluctuating between excitement and doubt but he was beginning to sway in one direction more than the other.
When they finally reached the usual stopping point for their Monday night route, Chat flopped down on the roof, arms and legs splayed out on the cool cement. Over the pounding of his heart he heard Ladybug's footsteps as she approached and the rustling of her suit as she took a seat beside him.
"Ok, kitty. Start talking."
He blinked up at her. "Huh?"
"You're distracted and that's not like you." Her voice took on a hint of concern as she asked, "What's on your mind?"
Chat hesitated. He hadn't planned on talking to her about his predicament with Marinette... but maybe he should. She was a girl. Maybe she could shed some light on the subject. Or at least advise him on if it was a bad idea or not.
Ladybug smirked, daring him to deny her request and he couldn't help the way his stomach jumped.
"It's girl problems." he groaned, annoyed that he was still affected by her even when he was seriously considering starting a relationship with someone else. Sitting up, he raked his claws though his hair, scratching harder than necessary and using the pain to ground his thoughts. "I mean, well it's not really a problem, I'm probably just over thinking it but I'm really all over the place about this. And did I mention girl? 'Cause it's about a girl-"
"Usually when a boy gets flustered and tongue tied there is definitely a girl involved," his partner laughed.
His eyes narrowed. "My Lady, this is serious."
"I'm sorry," she said, trying not to smile, "Please continue."
"Ok, this is gonna get personal but I promise no details," he explained before she could protest, "So I have this friend. She's actually one of my best friends-" Ladybug cut him off with a disbelieving snort and he sighed, "Not you bugaboo. Come on, are you going to listen or not? I could use your opinion on this."
To her credit, Ladybug reigned in her amusement and pulled out her game face. "I swear, no more teasing," she promised.
"As I was saying, she's a really close friend. And today I found out that she likes me. As in likes me likes me. I wasn't expecting it and it's kind of messing with my head."
"I see." Ladybug tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well... do you like her too?" she asked curiously.
That was the million dollar question, wasn't it?
"I think so." It was the first time he'd admitted it out loud, even to himself, and it felt good. But his doubts hadn't completely abated. "The problem is that I've never thought of her like that before now. And I don't know what I did to deserve her love, but… I... It's just…" he frowned, struggling to put his reservations into words, "I wasn't expecting it, I guess."
For a long moment neither of them spoke.
"Can you see yourself with this girl?" She watched him closely, her eyes bright in the soft moonlight.
He'd imagined going on a date with Marinette; taking her to the movies and holding her hand or getting ice cream and then visiting the Eiffel tower.
Kissing her goodnight.
It made his chest ache in the most pleasant way.
He smiled, sweetly lopsided as his cheeks warmed under his partner's scrutiny and ducked his head. "Yeah."
"Then what's holding you back?"
"I'm just… scared," he admitted softly as began fiddling with the end of his tail. "This will change things and… what if it doesn't work out and then we can't even remain friends? Or worse, what if I screw it up right from the start?" Because that was always his worst fear, destroying the very things he cherished the most. But what if's and worst case scenarios were only half the problem. "I don't even know how to start a relationship much less be in one. And I'll have to lie to her about Chat Noir. She's not stupid. Eventually my excuses won't cut it and this is going to bite me in the ass."
"You don't know that," Ladybug protested, but it lacked conviction because maybe it wasn't a certainty but it was an all too real possibility.
The whole thing was complicated and messy. It was the perfect set up for disaster. How could it not be? And yet a tiny part of him really wanted it all work out. "I don't know what to do. If I end up hurting her-" he shook his head, not wanting to finish the thought.
Ladybug reached out and took hold of his hands, stopping his nervous fiddling with a reassuring squeeze. "So the situation isn't ideal at the moment, and maybe it's not fair, but don't you think it would be worse to not even try? I say have a little faith and ask her out."
Chuckling derisively, he quipped, "Because that worked so well with you, my Lady."
"Chat," she sighed, but didn't let go of his hands, "I want you to be happy, more than anything. And if this girl can make you happy then you're stupid if you let her get away."
"I know." And he did because that was the same exact thought that went through his mind every time the uncertainty compelled him to play it safe and ignore the whole situation. "And you're probably right, as usual."
"I am the brains of this operation. Don't you forget it," she winked. Rising lithely to her feet, she tugged him up as well.
"So... do I just ask her out?"
"Yup. Suggest going to a cafe and see what she says. It really is that simple." Flicking his golden bell fondly, Ladybug stepped away to the roof's edge then looked back over her shoulder, grinning. "Relax. I have a good feeling about this."
Chat grinned right back, suddenly a bit more hopeful. But just to be safe…
"Wish me luck, my Lady. I'm gonna need it."
Apparently asking a girl out was a lot easier in theory than it was in practice. Adrien made a mental note to tell his partner that it was not simple at all. In fact, not only was it difficult but it was frightening and nerve wracking and all around unpleasant.
That Adrien had yet to actually ask Marinette anything was only par for the course.
For two days he'd been trying to work up the nerve. But all of his bravado came hand in hand with an alternate identity that wasn't very useful when trying to create meaningful relationships... or create much of anything, for that matter. And it was unbelievably frustrating to have the words hover on the tip of his tongue only to swallow them back when they wouldn't come out of his mouth.
Would you like to get coffee with me?
Why was it so hard to fucking ask?!
As he put the last of his books in his locker, a little voice inside his head- that sounded an awful lot like Plagg- was only too happy to break it down again.
-Because she's going to say yes and then you're going to have to explain that you mean as a date and not just hanging out at which point she is going to freak out because why on earth are you suddenly asking her out with no warning and without easing into it but you don't know how else to get her attention because the flirting never worked with Ladybug and if Marinette brushed you off the same way she did then you might as well throw yourself off a cliff but there aren't any cliffs around here so maybe the eiffel tower could work instead-
Adrien shut the door to his locker just as Marinette popped out from behind it.
"Hey!" she cried and he jerked back violently letting out a very undignified yelp.
"Gottcha," she snickered, her blue eyes twinkling with mirth.
Clutching his chest, Adrien gave her his most wounded pout. "Really, Mari? A simple 'Hello Adrien, how are you today?' would have sufficed. But noooo." He gave her the stink eye. "I see how it is. Just you wait. I shall have my vengeance."
"Geez. Could you be more of a dork?" she giggled, rolling her eyes fondly.
Marinette's bright smile made it impossible not to smile back. He shrugged. "Actually... yeah I can."
Marinette laughed and Adrien followed the happy sound as she led the way outside to the courtyard. He watched her walk with a peppy bounce in her step but couldn't help letting his gaze linger as her hips swayed, emphasizing the way her tight jeans hugged her slim curves.
Familiar curves.
Curves he'd made a point to ignore.
Because it was impossible to be friends with a beautiful girl and not notice. Granted, he'd gotten real good at denying it. He'd become a pro at skirting around it. But the more he embraced the idea of Marinette the more he began to realize that it had always been there, biding its time.
The teasing and comradery they shared was as easy as breathing. But the wanting...
Obviously, it wasn't as new as he thought.
Unfortunately, that alone didn't make it easy.
There was no way he could go back to ignoring it now and he didn't want to. But it was getting harder and harder- quite literally- to be around Marinette and not oogle her inappropriately. And the worst part was that she had no idea of the effect she was having on him. Marinette was just being her usual, adorable self.
And because the universe was inclined to add to his misfortune in any way it could, Marinette stumbled which caused her to drop the textbook she carried. So, naturally, she bent over to pick it up.
Adrien swallowed hard, his mouth going dry.
It was all her fault. She was the one that had to go and write down how she wanted him to squeeze her ass while they made out. It wasn't fair that she had a great ass and because he was a coward and afraid to lose everything by going after what he really wanted he was left to admire her great ass knowing he would probably get slapped if he tried to squeeze it. Gah!
Marinette was slowly driving him crazy. The girl was going to be the death of him, he was certain of it.
And of course his boner was back because SHE WAS FUCKING KILLING HIM-
That fact the he shouldn't have read her diary in the first place was conveniently overlooked.
Frowning harshly at nothing and everything, Adrien stalked over to the usual lunchtime meeting spot and flopped down gracelessly on the concrete bench. He was more annoyed with himself than anything. It wasn't her fault. It was his. And he was already ruining things.
"Uh oh. You have that look," Marinette sighed, taking a seat next to him. "Do I need to tell the parental units you're staying with us tonight?"
Adrien's heart swelled at the offer. He loved her parents and they'd taken a liking to him as well. When Sabine had found out that there were times when he was alone in the mansion for days and weeks at a time, she had instantly insisted he stay over whenever he wished. Not one to really like being alone, Adrien had taken them up on the offer more times than he could count by this point. Sometimes he was afraid he'd wear out his welcome but Tom and Sabine always encouraged him to return. So he did.
But his frustration wasn't with his father for once and he blushed. "Sorry. I'm okay. Just thinking, that's all." Marinette stared him down searchingly and he cracked a small smile. "As much as I love crashing on your couch, I can't. My dad is home this week."
Marinette didn't blink and he thought he might just drown in bottomless blue. She nudged his arm with her own. "Are you sure nothing is wrong?"
This was his chance. All he had to do was ignore the nervous way his stomach twisted and ask her. It was one lousy question. He just had to ask.
"I'm fine. Really," he lied, dragging his eyes a way to look down at the ground as self-directed dissapointemnt colored his voice. "Just haven't been sleeping well." He glanced around, desperate to change the subject. "Where are Nino and Alya?"
Marinette pulled out her phone, checking her texts. She let out an exasperated sigh. "One guess."
"Again?!" he groaned, caught between embarrassment and envy. "Is it just me or are they suddenly attached at the face like... All. The. Time?"
Glancing back at the school he wished the janitor would find them in whichever utility closet they were sucking face in.
Marinette looked surprised. "Nino didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"That they finally…" Her face flamed red. "You know... did it."
"Oh." Oooh. His face flushed just as dark. "Um.. Nino...he uh… he isn't the kiss and tell type."
"Huh." Marinette looked thoughtful. "I don't think Alya waited a full ten minutes after to text me."
Either it was that good or that bad. Honestly, Adrien didn't particularly want to know which it was.
He pulled a face when he tried to pinpoint the change in his friends behavior and couldn't. "How long has this been going on?"
"A month or so. You really didn't catch on?" Marinette asked skeptically. When he shook his head she laughed. "Seriously, every other word out of Alya's mouth now is some kind of innuendo. And she's cataloging their escapades like it's a research project or something."
Okay, maybe he wasn't envious of Nino after all.
"She is a hornball," Adrien stage whispered, wagging his brows and earning a laugh from the lovely girl beside him.
"True," she agreed. "Aaaand I'm pretty sure they're doing a lot more than kissing in that broom closet right now."
He presses me into the wall as his tongue invades my mouth as I sink my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer.
Nope.
He hitches my right leg around his waist and rocks into me as I grind myself against his-
Nope, nope, nope...
"Oh. Wow… Um… yeah-" Adrien's flush deepened as he stumbled over his words and cringed at the strange look Marinette sent his way. He was not imagining molesting her against a wall. Not at all. No way. He tried to look innocent. "What?"
"Nothing." She blinked, pulling herself from whatever she'd been thinking. Hoping up from her seat, she collecting her books before grasping his wrist and pulling him up as well. "Come on. Since they're not going to show we can go my place for lunch. Oh! Papa tried out a new recipe last night. I bet you're going to love it."
As Marinette led him toward the bakery, rambling about ingredients and dough texture, Adrien's blush receded and he didn't even try to stifle the smitten grin that lit up his features. It occurred to him then, that if Marinette would let him, he'd happily follow her anywhere.
"So tell me, how are things going with your girlfriend?" Ladybug asked in lieu of a greeting.
Chat Noir stilled, his legs freezing in mid swing from where he kicked them back and forth over the side of the building as he waited. Even though he anticipated the question, Ladybug still managed to catch him off guard. He didn't expect her to jump right into it though, before they even started patrol. He probably should have.
"Not going," he sighed, his posture wilting.
"Oh, Chat..." Her hand came to rest on his shoulder, patting gently. "Did she turn you down?"
He shook his head and looked out over the Parisian skyline rather than at the genuine sympathy he'd find on partner's face. The Eiffel Tower twinkled cheerily in the distance, mocking his plight. "Technically, I have to ask before I can get turned down."
The comforting warmth left his shoulder as Ladybug moved to sit beside him, mirroring his position. He began kicking his feet, unable to sit still. In his periphery her legs began to move, swinging in time with his.
"Don't tell me the great Chat Noir is a scaredy cat."
"Only in matters of the heart, my Lady," he admitted wryly. "Give me a raging akuma any day."
"Now you're being ridiculous," she huffed in amused exasperation. "Just ask her out already. You know she likes you. It's a sure thing."
But was it? Because he was sure it wasn't going to go that smoothly.
"Okay, here's the deal; she doesn't know that I know. In fact, I'm not supposed to know. So it's going to be uber weird for both of us if I suddenly start pursuing her."
There.
He said it.
Ladybug prided herself on her quick thinking skills. He was going to let her stew on that and see what she could come up with.
With his luck, it didn't come as a surprise when her train of thought decided to go in the wrong direction.
Her piercing blue eyes fixed on him with a pointed stare he could feel burning into the side of his head. "If it was a secret then how did you find out?" His eyes widened, his legs kicked faster and he didn't dare look at her because she would know that he did someth- "Chat," she warned, "What did you do?"
"Me?" His startled gaze flew to her face guiltily. "Why do you automatically assume I did something stupid?" Her deadpan expression spoke volumes and he instantly caved. "Fine. But I'm warning you, bugaboo, this was not my finest moment." He winced. "I may have possibly been put in the position to, mostly accidentally and a little bit on purpose, read her diary," his voice trailed off in a whisper.
"You what?!" Ladybug cried, aghast. "Chat! How could you?" As he held up his hands defensively, her anger quickly ignited. "I can't believe you. Ugh! You... you damn jerk!"
"I know, I know," he placated and leapt back from the roof's edge just in case she decided to throw him over the side building. While the six story drop wouldn't cause permanent damage, he still didn't relish the pain of face planting into the pavement. "It it really was an accident." at first. He was wise enough not say that last part out loud.
His partner jumped up as well and rounded on him, her fingers curled like claws as she advanced forward. "An accident? Really? How does that work exactly? Did the her diary hold you at knife point and force you to read it?"
Her sarcasm stung, but not as much as his shame.
"I found it on the floor in our classroom," he admitted, hanging his head. "When I peeked inside I didn't realise it was her diary. I honestly didn't, I swear. But then I saw my name and… and… I couldn't help but read it."
"She didn't figure out you snooped when you gave back to her?"
"She sits behind me. I left it on her desk."
Ladybug froze, the blood suddenly draining from her face. "Oh my god. Chat, you're… you're-" She looked ill as she wrapped her arms across her stomach, her face scrunching as if she'd sucked on a lemon. "Ohmygod. Oh. My. God." Her chalky pallor seemed to grow even more pale, if that were possible. He balked as her eyes snapped to his, a blue inferno in their depths. "I could strangle you right now. What you did- It was wrong. On so many levels. Don't you understand that! You invaded her privacy."
"I know and I'm sorry," he said miserably, offering no other excuse.
"Don't tell me you're sorry." she snapped, "You need to tell that to her."
What?
No.
Tell Marinette? Yeah right.
There was no way in hell he'd be able to face her and admit what he'd done. "I can't tell her. She'd hate me."
Ladybug didn't have to say that it was nothing more than what he deserved, it rang clear right along with the consternation infusing her scathing tone. "Oh? So it's better to take advantage of her feelings?"
Take advantage…
Was that what he was doing?
"I don't.." Using Marinette? "That's not.." Toying with her? "Fuck!" His stomach turned. "I didn't want to find out that way! She should have told me!" Chat shouted.
"Maybe she wasn't ready!" Ladybug shouted right back.
As they glared at one another, chests heaving and bodies rigid, Chat realized that his partner had considered something he had not.
What if Marientte never intended to tell him? What if she wanted her fantasies to stay exactly that, a fantasy. She probably wouldn't want to act on them, even if he gave her an open invitation. And by asking her out-
He'd have to be some kind of asshole to force the situation for his own gain.
The kind of guy that took advantage of a friend that trusted him implicitly.
"See," he choked around the bile rising in his throat, "this is why I can't ask her out. This right here. I destroy everything I touch. And not just in the suit." He wanted Marinette, wanted her so fucking much... but.. "I've already ruined everything before it even started. She's…" he swallowed, "she's better off if don't say anything. So I won't."
"Chat?"
But he was done arguing. His decision was made. "This is what I deserve for getting my hopes up. I knew this would happen. It always does."
"Chat!"
"Black cats are bad luck. Everyone knows that." I'm such a fucking idiot!
"Chat, Stop it!" Ladybug wiped her eyes and numbly he wondered why she'd started crying. "You made a mistake. It can be fixed. Explain it to her and apologize. She'll forgive you."
Yeah, Marinette probably would. Eventually.
But this was only the beginning, right? How many times could she forgive his unintentional insensitivity? And the lies? He couldn't forget about those because he would be lying to her constantly, living a double life that he couldn't hide forever.
No. He refused to take advantage of her. Marinette deserved better.
"She's going to end up hurt and no matter what I do, I'm going to be the one to hurt her." He took a step away. "It's better this way, trust me."
"So that's it? You're not even going to try?" He remained silent and she took a step toward him, cursing. "Damn it, Chat." Voice raw, eyes damp and one word away from falling apart; she appeared on the outside how he felt on the inside and he found that a little odd since she had no personal stake in the outcome of this mess. Still, she didn't back down.
"She loves you," Ladybug reminded him, her blue eyes shining.
"And that's why I have to do what's best for her, not me." Before she could say more, he snapped open his baton and leapt to the roof across road, calling out, "We need to get moving."
He didn't wait for her to follow. He didn't look back.
Adrien convinced Nathalie to let him stay home from school Thursday and Friday. He even managed to get her to agree to clear his schedule for the weekend. Since he'd had a little good fortune, it didn't surprise him in the least when there was an akuma attack on Saturday.
The kauma watch app chimed out a warning from his phone and Adrien pulled himself out of bed, called for his transformation and didn't particularly give a flying fuck that he was wearing a black wife-beater and red and black plaid pajama bottoms. Or that he'd worn said sleep wear for the past fifty six hours without a shower. Or that he was barefoot.
Nope. No fucks to give.
When Chat Noir arrived at the scene, Ladybug was already there and the unabashed relief on her face when she spotted her partner gave him pause. But there was no time for small talk. The Articulator- more commonly known as Mlle Calverie, an employee at the public library- was having a bad day and there was no shortage of words that she could throw, quite literally, from the bedraggled book she clutched in one hand.
Chat eyed the book warily, not wanting anymore trouble that type of thing. "What's the plan, bugaboo?"
"I think the akuma is in the identification badge clipped to her shirt," she explained briskly. "I just need a clear shot."
"On it!"
Chat Noir threw himself into the fight with wild abandon. There was frustration brimming just under his skin and the akuma was the perfect outlet. He gave himself over to the exertion and adrenaline. It was easy not to wallow when he had to think quick and be nimble on his feet.
He even cracked a smile when Ladybug called for lucky charm and a large u-shape magnet dropped of the sky.
"What the fudge?!" She looked around, the wheels in her head turning. Then she grinned. "Ah ha! Chat, bring down that lamp post for me please."
"With pleasure," he smirked, then dove across the ground sliding between the rabid librarian's legs, flipped onto his feet and narrowly dodged the word 'eviscerate' just in time to cry out, "Cataclysm!" Ignoring the maniacal laughter coming from behind him, Chat grasped the lamp post and felt a strange satisfaction as the metal began to disintegrate.
With Articulator behind him, he didn't see the word 'freeze' come darting his way but he sure as hell felt it when an unnatural, agonizing cold literally turned his body into ice.
It could have been minutes, it could have been an eternity, it was too painful to tell, but suddenly the mad cackling stopped and Chat began to melt, the frigid pain easing away along with the ice as if they had never been. He turned to his partner as swirls of ladybugs took to the air. He pulled a face as the lamp post returned shinier than before and stalked back to his Lady.
Damn. He missed how she used the magnet.
"Pound it." Ladybug held out her fist and he bumped it but the smile he flashed her was weak at best. Her brow furrowed in concern.
Logically, he knew she meant well, that she was worried after the fiasco at their last patrol, but he didn't want to talk. He just wanted to be alone. And it was probably cowardly and it was definitely rude, but as she opened her mouth to speak his ring beeped and he didn't stick around. With a jaunty salute he fled.
In the sanctuary of his bedroom, Chat dropped the transformation and fell onto his bed, the green light fizzling over Adrien's skin as his face hit the pillow.
"Are you going to make me get my own cheese?" Plagg groused somewhere near his head.
"You know where it is," was Adrien's muffled reply.
"Will you be done moping soon?"
"Shut up."
"Am I annoying you yet?"
"Always."
"You have a text from Marinette."
Adrien jerked upright and scrambled for his phone but his kwami already had the device and zipped through the air just out of reach. "Plagg! Give it back."
His kwami grinned. "Since you're up you can get my cheese."
"You little shit!" Pinning Plagg with a murderous glare and mumbling curses that could make a seasoned sailor blush- and Plagg so proud that his chosen could swear like nobody's business- Adrien stomped over to the mini fridge, pulled out a chunk of camembert and slammed it down on his desk. He held out his hand, fuming. "Phone. Now."
Plagg floated higher, closing his eyes and turning his nose up. "Ya could be nicer to me, kid."
"Please give me the phone."
His audacious kwami cracked one eye open. "Are you going to spend the rest of the night sulking and staring all mooney-eyed at your phone? 'Cuz if so, I'm taking your phone and my cheese and blowing this joint."
"Mooney-eyed? I'm not that bad."
"And you reek of stale sweat and adolescent immaturity,"
"What?" Adrien blinked. "That doesn't even make sense."
"Exactly. You want to play with her privates and she wants to play with yours. Why are you whining and doing your best impersonation of a gym sock?"
At the mention of privates Adrien flushed beet red. "Plagg," he warned, "For the love of cheese, I swear, I will never buy you camembert again if you don't give back my phone."
"Not until you get off your ass and stop being limp, smelly and pathetic. Your feelings are making me sick. Or it could be a hairball. I don't know. I just want to enjoy my cheese and I can't do that with you being all emotional." To further his point Plagg made a retching sound.
Adrien sighed in defeat, because really, this was his fucking life. "Not that you care, but I'm trying to do the right thing here." Sinking down into his desk chair, he dropped his head into his hands. "For the record, it sucks."
"Kid, the way I see it, you got two options. Either make a different choice or suck it up buttercup."
Okay. So maybe his kwami was onto something.
Adrien peeked out through his fingers, biting back a chuckle as Plagg waved the phone at him and cartwheeled through the air. "You're right. I'm sorry. May I please have my phone back now?"
Plagg paused, floating upside down. "You never agree with me." He eyed his chosen suspiciously. "Are you just saying that?"
"No. I'll try to tone down the emotions, okay."
"Yeah. Great." Plagg chucked the phone toward Adrien without looking and dove face first into the waiting hunk of cheese. He resurfaced after a moment, said cheese smeared all over his whiskered face. He pointed a gooey paw at Adrien. "And later when you're wanking it, you can tone that down too."
Was it possible to blush from the roots of your hair to the tip if your toes? Yes. Yes it was.
Did the pocket sized god of destruction have no shame? No. No he did not.
"Plagg!'
"What?" the kwami asked around a mouth full of cheese, his toxic green eyes wide and innocent. "Just figured I'd throw that out there since you're being so accommodating and all."
"Ugh! Eat your cheese!"
Mortified, emotionally exhausted and physically drained, Adrien shot Plagg one last withering glare before returning to the sanctuary of his bed and pulling the covers up over his head. He pulled up Marinette's text and allowed himself a small smile.
Mari: [ how r u feeling today?]
He thought carefully about how to respond. He wanted to say something along the lines of better now that I'm talking to you but that would send the wrong message so he settled for a more neutral response.
[I'll survive]
Mari: [that's a relief. Maman wants to know if you're eating enough?]
The memory of a roughly drawn sketch of Marientte with her head tipped back, both hands fisted in his hair as he buried his face between her legs slammed into this mind like a wrecking ball. The unbidden image turned his blood into hot molasses and his insides into jelly.
I'd love to eat you.
[I am. Just not really what I want]
Oh fuck. Did he really send that? It sounded innocent enough, right?
Not at all like his thoughts. Because the image was moving now; Marinete's back arching in pleasure, her chest heaving as she panted, her breasts flushed a rosy pink. He wondered what she'd taste like. What she'd sound like as he licked her to an orgasm.
Mari: [you should come over for dinner. When you feel up to it.}
Oh, he was up to it. She had no idea.
[sounds good]
Mari: [Anything you want?}
You.
I want you.
In my bed. In your bed. Against a wall. On a desk. In the shower. In a bathtub. Sitting on my face. Bouncing on my dick.
I want you to scream. I want to you moan. I want you to say my name as you come.
Adrien bit his lip to keep from whimpering.
[food good. Surprise me]
Mari: [lol]
Mari: [Maybe you can stay over?]
He needed his brain to stop. He needed to get a grip.
But these weren't just his fantasies. They were hers too. And that made them so much more…
Addictive.
Naughty.
Impossible to ignore.
Could he spend the night on her sofa, knowing she was just a room away? Would he get any sleep at all knowing she was in her bed and possibly touching herself as she thought of him?
Probably not, but there was no where else he wanted to be.
Okay, not true. He would much rather be in her bed with her, touching her. But that wasn't possible so...
[we'll see]
Mari: [let me know if you can get away. Will you be at school Monday?]
[yep. Damn. i haven't done any homework yet.]
There. He'd changed the subject. They were back on safe ground. Now all of his blood could go back into the right head.
Mari: [I'll let you get to it. I'm helping in the bakery so I should get back. ttly}
Like a mature adult, Adrien set aside his phone, shoved his face into his pillow and screamed.
Repeatedly.
He was pretty sure he heard Plagg laughing.
A.N.- So I needed some humor in my life and this is the result. I'm sure this isn't an original idea and its cliche as fuck but I heart me some horny dorks in love. Thank you for reading act 1.
Also purely inspired by the song "Inside of You" by Hoobastank.
