KEVIN PRICE VS SHARKNADO
(Based on the movie Sharknado 3 and the musical, Book of Mormon)
Kevin Price was happy! He was so darn happy that his body was practically bursting with Mormon happiness! Why was Kevin happy? Because he was in Orlando, of course!
Orlando, Orlando, the happiest place around! Home of beaches and Disney and putt-putt golfing! It was so perfect and it was so sunny and it was the perfect place to go for Kevin since his mission was over!
Kevin got off the airplane and he danced around the airport until security had to ask him to leave. Kevin danced his way out of the airport, twirling and jumping and singing a song he came up with on the spot. His best friend and homosexual lover, Connor McKinley, followed after him with the suitcases.
"Kevin, wait up!" Connor called out.
"I can't wait!" Kevin replied. "I'm in Orlando! I wanna go to the beach and I wanna bury myself in sand and I wanna go to Disney and shove Mickey's fist up my butt!"
"KEVIN WHAT THE FUCK!" Connor said.
Kevin gasped. "CONNOR YOU SAID A FUCKING SWEAR!" He screamed.
"BITCH, I DON'T GIVE A MOTHERFUCK!" Connor replied.
Despite the fight, Kevin was still in an excellent mood. He kept dancing and twirling down the street towards the hotel. "What should we do first?" Kevin asked Connor.
"I wanna take a nap first," Connor said, exhausted from the plane ride. He could have slept, but SOMEONE (cough cough Kevin) could not shut up about Orlando! WE GET IT, KEVIN! YOU LIKE ORLANDO. NOW SHUT THE HELL UP.
"But naps are boring!" Kevin whined. "We're gonna go to Disney!"
"Our tickets aren't good til tomorrow," Connor replied. "Kevin, it's like eight o'clock at night. I'm gonna go to bed and you can watch Orlando TV or something."
"Yes!" Kevin cheered. "I can watch the local news stations and get oriented with Orlando culture!"
"What's Orlando culture?" Connor asked. He immediately regretted it as Kevin went on a long explanation that would have been a five-page double-spaced in Times New Roman essay if he wrote it down. When they got to the hotel room, Kevin was still explaining but then Connor threw a pillow at his face. "SHUT UP!" He shouted.
"Fine," Kevin grumbled. He sat on the bed and turned on the TV. On the TV was a video from Washington DC of sharks! They were flying through the air and fucking shit up! Kevin gasped! "Oh no!" He cried out as the reporter said that the sharks might hit Orlando. "This is awful!"
Kevin soon went to sleep, though. When he woke up, he dragged Connor out of bed and the two went to Disney. Kevin kept looking at the sky for any signs of sharks as he and Connor went on all the rides. Then, Kevin saw Mickey Mouse.
"MICKEY!" Kevin screeched. He ran up to his idol and hugged him. He did not ask Mickey to shove his fist up his ass, because Kevin knew that doing so would be sexual harassment. That would just be a sexual fantasy for Kevin from that point on.
As Connor snapped a picture of his homosexual lover with Mickey Mouse, THE SHARKNADO TOUCHED DOWN AHHHH (thats everyone yelling). Kevin screamed and he glared at the sharks.
"I'LL FIGHT YOU, SHARKS!" He screamed. How dare the sharks ruin his day! The former Mormon missionary raised his fists. He punched a shark in the fucking face!
Then, Kevin remembered Mickey was there! There was now way he could let Mickey get eaten by a shark! Kevin grabbed Mickey's hand. "I'LL SAVE YOU!" He declared.
"KEVIN WHAT THE FUCK!" Connor said, offended that Kevin chose to save a costumed character over him.
"COME ON YOU CAN WALK," Kevin shouted to Connor AS HE PUNCHED ANOTHER SHARK IN THE FUCKING FACE!
"STILL!" Connor said, still offended.
The sharks fell all around! Everyone was yelling! It was terrifying but Kevin kept punching sharks in the face! The sharks cried when they got punched! Kevin brought Mickey Mouse to safety underground, because everyone knows sharks can't dig holes and get underground.
Connor followed them, and he was PISSED AS FUCK. He fucking ripped off Mickey Mouse's costume head, revealing a slightly creepy bearded guy named Jeremy.
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" Kevin demanded.
"I'm Jeremy," Jeremy said.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Kevin sighed. "Go away, Jeremy! Nobody wants you here!"
Jeremy cried as he grabbed his mouse head from Connor and went outside. He was immediately eaten by a shark from the Sharknado!
"Get fucking rekt," Kevin muttered as he heard Jeremy be eaten.
Then, Kevin noticed that Connor was wearing one of those Mickey Mouse ear hat things! Kevin gasped. "You look so sexy!" He whispered.
"Thanks?" Connor said, still pissed at Kevin.
The two fucked underground during the Sharknado, and in the end, Kevin learned something. He learned that love was better than any schmoe dressed up like Mickey Mouse.
The End!
