I'm ShadowClan. My mother is Russetfur. My father is Blackstar. I'm a warrior. I defend my clan. I've gone hungry before. I was born when Brokentail was leader. He was my mentor.
Ashwind didn't expect to be stolen by twolegs. How dare these twolegs try to make her into a Kittypet? It wasn't natural, being trapped in a den and not being able to leave.
And how could they expect her to eat those nasty pellets? She wanted to feel the elements on her pelt. She wanted to hunt; to fight. Most of all, she wanted to be free.
Her ears flattened as she looked out the window. Her heart dropped as she saw the clans together, leaving the destroyed forest. Didn't they see her? Recognise her? It didn't make sense, she hadn't been gone for that long, and it wasn't like it was her choice to be trapped.
Her stomach growled and she finally had to admit that she wouldn't be freed if she didn't eat. She wouldn't be able to hunt, or fight, or run, if she didn't eat.
She took a small bite of the food provided, cringing at the bland taste. She took another bite. At least it was curving her hunger, for now. She licked her lips and before she could stop herself, she'd eaten half the food provided. Her stomach clenched.
She wasn't used to eating this much, even during Green Leaf. She usually ate barely enough to survive, saying that others needed the food more than she did.
She longed for her nest, with her clanmates. With the cats she grew up with. She'd been through to much too just give up and accept her life as a kittypet. She didn't want it.
She'd just have to play nice until she could get free.
XxXxXxX
Ashwind had been held inside for over a moon. She'd taken comfort in the familiarity of the nest. There was always food and she hadn't gone hungry once.
She wouldn't admit it, but she was becoming more and more of a Kittypet with each passing day. She didn't long to be free; she wasn't sure that she even remembered how to be free.
When her 'owners' came back with a rather annoying puppy, she'd hissed at it. When it went to sniff her she'd swatted it on it's nose. It didn't really bother her again. The Twoleg scolded her with words she didn't understand, but from it's body posture it wasn't all that happy with her.
She shrugged it off, not wanting to admit that she was just a bit hurt by the scolding. She might've been a prisoner, but she still had her pride (sort of).
She got used to the dog slowly. It wasn't like she had to like it, but at least it knew she didn't like to be sniffed at.
Ashwind found herself pregnant not long after the first time she was permitted to roam outside. The scents scared her, at first. She felt overwhelmed, but that didn't stop her. She scratched at the annoying thing around her neck.
She found a strange tom, who wasn't a Kittypet. She was intrigued by him and didn't seem to care that she was a house cat when he spent the night with her.
They began meeting, every night. Even while she was pregnant with his kits. When he disappeared one day and never returned, she was heart broken.
It wasn't long after he abandoned her that she began kitting. The Housefolk where helpful, in a way. Though she almost would have preferred to give birth by herself.
XxXxXxX
Four moons later her four kits where going to be taken from her. She couldn't have that. They should stay with their mother. When she saw Graystripe shoot past her home she called for him. He turned and looked at her in shock.
"Ashwind? What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I was the first cat captured by the stupid Twolegs." She spat. "Now they want to take my kits away."
He gazed at her in thought. "I'm leaving with Mille, we're going to search for the clans. You can come with us."
The former ShadowClan warrior paused for a moment. "Wait here." She stated before dashing back into the den to fetch her kits.
"Jasmine, Rosemary, Starling, and Orange." She pointed to each of her kits. She looked down lovingly at her four daughters. "This is Graystripe. Remember how I told you about the four clans that once lived here? He's from ThunderClan."
Their eyes widened. "They're going to search for the clans. Do any of you wish to go?"
Jasmine was the first to move forward. She had light gray fur and green eyes.
Rosemary and Starling followed their sister as well. They were almost identical. The only difference in was one was white and the other was dark red. They both had blue eyes, like their father.
Orange was the only one who didn't move. "I don't want to leave, mama." She cried.
"Then you do not have to go." Ashwind meowed soothingly. She gazed at her other kits. "If you would like to go, go. But first we need to change your names. Rosemary, your name is now Graykit. Jasmine, your name is now Juniperkit. Starling, your name is now Starlingkit. Listen to Graystripe and do exactly as he tells you."
The four new-named kits looked up at their mother. "Are you not coming?" Graykit cried.
Ashwind shook her head. "You'll be happy as a Wild Cat. I cannot leave one behind." She touched noses with each of them. "We'll meet in StarClan, someday."
The kits nodded stiffly, trying not to cry. The five cats padded off, to search for the clans.
"Make sure they join ShadowClan." She called. "Please. Or let Russetfur know that I am safe!"
XxXxXxX
It was many seasons later and Ashwind was content with her life. She'd only had that one litter, but Orange had a couple. Their family was growing. She supposed it was alright, that they'd never know the wild like she had.
But, family is family and they were her kin. She hoped that Juniperkit, Graykit, Starlingkit, Graystripe, and Millie had found their way safely to the clans. If they had, her kits would be Warriors for moons.
Her heart dropped when she thought about them. Did they still miss her? Where they happy? Did they regret their choice. She missed them, but they'd made their choice.
She sat on her fence, for the first time in many moons, she felt longing. She wanted to go home. ShadowClan. She'd tried to teach her kits and her kit's kits' about StarClan and the Warrior Code, though she assumed they didn't really understand the Code which she had lived by for some of her life.
Her heart dropped when she realised she'd been a Kittypet longer than she had been a clan-cat. If they hadn't been forced to evacuate the forest, she could've gone home the moment she was able to roam free.
She closed her eyes before she turned around and saw her kin. "mother, we've decided…" Orange began. "That we would like to meet your parents."
Her eyes widened. "I don't even know where they went, and it's been many, many seasons since Graystripe, Mille, and your sisters left." her eyes narrowed again.
"Although… we might be able to find them, eventually. I might be dead before we find them. Can you handle taking care of ten cats on your own?"
Orange closed her eyes before opening them again. "I won't be alone, you can guide me; my mate will help, and my kit's are fully grown. They can take care of their young."
Ashwind nodded stiffly, "we'll leave now." her eyes scanned the group. "Most of you know the theory of hunting, we'll be able to get more practice." she leaped down onto the other side, landing perfectly on the sidewalk. She waited for her family to follow her.
"We might be wondering for moons, seasons even, before we find them." It was hard to imagine that what had once been the forest was an expansion of a town.
A.N:
So this is a NerdClan Challange, "I'm not who I was". This is a one-shot, though it could easily tie into Drizzling Tears or One, or it could form a whole new story. I don't know. Let me know what you think! And what do you think Juniperkit, Graykit, and Starlingkit's names?
Starlingkit- dark red she-cat with a white tipped tail and blue eyes
Juniperkit- white she-cat with a red tipped tail and blue eyes
Graykit- dark gray she-cat with black paws and green eyes
Orange- light ginger she-cat and gray eyes
