Chapter One: James Potter's Bum

It all started on the platform. That stupid, bloody platform.

I'd done my best over the past five years to make it plain that I hate the snot out of him, but James Potter had chosen today to stand in front of me on Platform 9 ¾ while waiting to get onto the Hogwarts Express. Normally this would just annoy me, except I happened to look down and notice what a fit bum he had.

And legs. He had really nice legs. And a gorgey, fit bum.

I couldn't believe I was thinking about James Potter's bum. And legs.

It was probably the worst thing that had happened to me since I broke it off with Severus. I mean, after five years of calling someone an arrogant toerag and telling him to stick his fat head up his arse, it's just not right to fantasize about licking chocolate off of his equally fit chest.

But who said I was doing that?

Wowzer, his bum was fit.

As I pretended to check my watch while really staring at James's bum, Alice, my bestie, appeared at my side almost as if she'd Apparated. Which I knew she didn't. I was just distracted by the bum of a sex-god.

I couldn't believe I had just called James Potter a sex-god. Even in my head.

"Lily!" Alice squealed, dropping her things and throwing herself onto me in an inescapable hug. "I've missed you! Haven't seen you in, what, twelve hours?"

"It's been far too long." I laughed, ducking to the ground to pick up my bag which had slipped off of my arm, spilling its contents everywhere. As I hastily threw handfuls of make-up and other rubbish into it, I sensed that someone had moved quite close to me. I looked up to see none other than the sex-god, James Potter, crouched down and balancing on the balls of his feet, holding up a tube of my favorite lippy.

His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath caress my cheeks as he said "All right, Evans?"

Under normal circumstances, I would have narrowed my eyes into The Look that I reserved just for him, snatched the tube of lippy, and replied with a witty comeback like "I don't think that's quite your shade, Jimbo." before stalking off with Alice to find the rest of the gang. However, today I had spent a good three minutes staring at the rather fit bum of one James Potter. That was anything but normal.

Instead I just stared at him. He was smiling at me, not his stupid smile, a sexy smile. Or perhaps it was the same smile and it just seemed sexy to me, the newest member of the James Potter's fabbity fab bum club.

Anyway, my usually quick-witted mind went completely blank. I knew I was being pathetic, but his sexy face and his sexy smile and his sexy hazel eyes that had bits of violet and blue in them were all too much. And he smelled absolutely wonderful, like the woody scent of a forrest, and chocolate and peppermint mixed together in ice cream-

"Evans, are you quite alright?" he asked. I became dimly aware that his smile had vanished and was replaced with a look of concern.

My mind still felt curiously blank and all I really noticed was that his voice had changed over the summer. Deepened, so that he sounded less like a boy and more like a sex-god. I guessed that this past summer was a summer of change; James Potter had gone from tolerably cute yet immature to having the world's sexiest smile and the universe's fittest bum.

Suddenly, due to a hard pinch to my bum from Alice, I came to my senses.

"Of course I'm alright, Potter, why wouldn't I be?" I said with more force than I'd meant. I quickly stood up, with James and Alice following my lead, the former looking slightly confused and the latter looking stunned. I held out my hand and James lightly placed the lippy into my outstretched palm. The spots where his skin touched mine sent shivers up my arm and down my spine, but thankfully James didn't notice.

"That's the Evans I know and love." he grinned at me. I practically melted on the spot. "Did you have a nice holiday?"

Half of me wanted to flirt back and say "Not as good as yours was to you." while the other half of me wanted to jump his bones right then and there and snog him until the cows came home. However, the tiny sliver of my mind that wasn't hypnotized by James Potter's bum made me say "Yeah, it was really good, thanks for asking. And for saving my lippy. How was yours?"

Alice was staring as me, her eyes slightly wider than usual, her hands suddenly frozen in the midst of tying back her hair.

The sex-god grinned even wider, one hand in his trouser pocket as the other rumpled his already messy black hair. "Oh, it was a laugh, you know-"

He was cut off by a sharp, loud whistle that blew from the front of the train; The doors slid open and the surrounding crowd of students surged forward into it. "Well, anyway Evans, maybe I'll see you on the train then."

And with a wink he turned and boarded it.

I stood there for a few seconds, letting the other students push past me with their bulky luggage. Alice pulled my hand, mumbling something about finding an empty compartment. After we hoisted our trunks onto the train, Alice grabbed the cage containing her owl, Mercury, I lifted the basket in which Sylvester, my cat, was lightly snoring, and we boarded the train. As we walked through the train cars, trying to find an empty compartment, my thoughts were focused on my encounter with the sex-god. Granted, our conversation had been short, but for the first time in an innumerable amount of conversations James had left without asking me to go out with him. I was so absorbed that I didn't even hear Alice calling my name.

"Lily. Hey, Lily! LILY!"

"What?"

"Compartment. Empty. On your right."

"Oh!"

After lifting our things and pets into the luggage racks, we sat down across from each other in seats next to the window. I knew that Alice wanted to talk to me about what had just happened, but she had a hard time doing it as I refused to look at her; I looked out the window, out the glass bit in the compartment door, at the ceiling, under the seats-

"Lily!" she said with such force that I bumped my head on the underside of the seat as I was pulling out from under it. "Why in the name of Merlin's long, baggy trousers won't you talk to me?"

Rubbing the back of my head, I looked at her angry face as I resumed my seat.

"What is there to talk about?" I lied as I once again avoided her eyes by looking just over her right shoulder. I knew this wouldn't work for long, since Alice could always tell when I lied to her. I also knew that she knew why I was lying, and I couldn't help but look at her.

Mistake.

"You like him, don't you?"

I decided to play dumb. "Who?"

"James Bloody Potter, that's- ahhmmurhhhhhh!"

I practically threw myself onto her, clamping my hands tightly over her mouth.

"Alice, dear," I whispered dangerously, "I know you are not going to give this up, but I would be very grateful if you would refrain from SHOUTING IT!"

As her eyes widened in surprise and triumph, I heard a collection of loud gasps from outside of our compartment. Turning only my head, I saw a group of startled third year Ravenclaws staring at us through the glass in the door. I smiled at them until they all stumbled away, but Alice had already taken the opportunity to fight back in the only way she could.

"Ew- Alice! That was disgusting! Did you seriously just lick me?"

More pausing students. More smiles of assurance.

"Maybe." She said as I once again resumed my seat.

"Ugh, Alice that was so gross! Scourgify, Scourgify, Scourgify!" Pink soapy bubbles shout out of my wand as I caught them with my hand. Rubbing my hands with vigor, I glared at her, but Alice just giggled. When I was satisfied that my hands were clean, I waved my wand so that the soap vanished.

"So," Alice whispered, looking very serious for a girl who had just licked my hand, "You do like him, then? James Potter?"

"Shhh!" I glanced into the corridor to make sure no one had heard her. "Let's give him an alias or something okay? Er, what about-"

"Snuffles?"

"What we used to call Sirius Black when Macy liked him?"

"When? She still likes him!"

"Whatever, it'll work."

"Ok," Alice smiled and brushed her fringe to the side, "So you like Snuffles? As in, you want to snog him 'til the cows come home?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "Well, I don't like him. Just because I think he has a very fit bum and nice legs doesn't mean that I like him. I don't!" I added as Alice raised an eyebrow.

"So you don't want to snog him 'til the cows come home?"

"Snog who 'til the cows come home?" Merde. Double bloody damn. I'd know that voice anywhere. It belonged to the sex-god.

I looked around to see that three rather good-looking boys were standing in the doorway of our compartment. One of them was the sex-god, another was one Sirius Black, and the last was Frank Longbottom, Alice's current (and probably final) boyfriend. Frank pushed past my sex-god and plopped next to Alice, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before putting his arm around her shoulders. Sirius leaned against the doorjamb, looking like a model in a fashion magazine. It was infuriating how he managed to look cool in everyday situations, but I had already looked away from him and the sex-god. Somehow, I thought that if I didn't look at them I wouldn't do something stupid or embarrassing. Or both.

Too bad it was James Bloody Potter standing in that doorway. I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Following Frank's example, James sat down next to me, although he didn't put his arm around me. He simply stared at me, and I stared right back, determinedly NOT thinking about how his arms were just as nice and fit as his legs and bum.

"So, Evans" he said looking from me to Alice and back, "Who do or don't you want to snog 'til the cows come home?"

I glared at him, finally able to give him The Look. No way was he going to make me feel embarrassed about wanting to snog him 'til the cows come home. "Nobody you know, se- um, Potter."

"What was that you were going to call him?" Sirius asked with a wolfish grin.

"The same thing you call you pillow when you practice snogging it, Sirius, isn't it obvious?" Frank laughed. I glared at him too. Now James was going to think that I snog my pillow and pretend that it's him.

Sensing my thoughts, Alice said "Maybe she was going to call you 'Severus' to give you a hint."

Double Merde. Not what I was thinking of, but it did the trick nicely. Too nicely, probably. James looked like Alice had slapped him. Not surprising when I think about what happened last June between Sev and James. I've tried to forget about it; Haven't had much luck.

"Er, I'm sure that's not what she meant, is it Lily?" Frank said. Oh Frank, always the peacemaker.

I looked James in the eye, so he would know that I really meant it when I said, "Of course not. James, you know I would never say that, right?"

I don't think anyone but James himself noticed that I called him by his first name. Perhaps he thought it was a slip of the tongue, or maybe I'd really just felt like calling him 'James' instead of 'Potter', because he only blinked when I said it. He shook his head slightly, and smiled again. "S'alright, Evans, you can call me whatever your heart desires."

"Where're Pinky and the Brian?" Alice asked James to get off topic.

"Who?"

"Peter and Remus, who else?"

"Oh," Sirius said, "Wormtail's saving us a compartment-"

"Unless you'd like us to join yours?" James whispered in my ear.

"- and Moony's already in the prefect compartment, bless him. If we weren't closer than Snivellus and grease I'd be forced to brand him a prat. But we know better, don't we, Prongs? He's just weird like that."

"Well, Padfoot, Frank, we'd better let these wonderful ladies be." James stood up and ran his hand through his hair. "Unless you'd like your lesser half to stay?" he added to Alice.

Squeezing Frank's knee, Alice smiled at James and said "I think you boys can live without him for a few hours."

Frank laughed and kissed her again.

Sirius had already gone back into the corridor, but James still stood in the compartment, looking down at me with the most curious expression.

"I'll see you around, Evans." And he was gone.

Alice looked at me, then to Frank, and back to me. I could tell that she was torn between the urges of snogging her boyfriend and discussing the issue of James Potter's fit bum. Finally, with a great sigh, Alice pulled Frank's arm off of her shoulders. Realizing what she was doing, Frank nodded understandingly, saying "Earmuffs, Alice?"

We had used Earmuffs on Frank multiple times before. He was actually very good about it. Whenever Alice and I wanted to talk about something without Frank hearing, he'd just put his hands over his ears and hum loudly to himself. He did't complain anymore because the last time he refused Earmuffs we had gone into a full blown discussion on our times of the month, and Frank couldn't look at us without blushing for two weeks straight.

Anyway, Frank put his hands over his ears and began to hum the song 'Bloody Love' by the band My Girlfriend is a Vampire. Alice nodded insistently at him and he closed his eyes. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"He's learned to read lips." She explained. "Trust me, it's better this way."

I nodded, gulping as I did so. I knew this would be a very awkward conversation.

"So, Lily, Jam- uh, Snuffles. You like hi- uh, his bum?"

"And legs." I sadly replied. "And while he was in here I noticed that his arms are also quite fit."

Alice sighed. "Lily, how is this possible? You hated, and I mean hated James last year. What the bloody hell happened?"

I shook my head, unable to believe that we were already in the midst of a discussion like this and the train hadn't even started. For the first time in my life I was glad that I had prefect duty. "I don't know, Alice. I just saw him today on the platform and..."

"And you fell?"

"Hard and fast."

"Wow." Alice thought for a moment. "Lily, you know I love you, but I reckon, as I'm sure you also do, that you should keep this to yourself for now." I nodded in agreement. "I mean, I know he's asked you out nearly every day since we were third years, but- well, I don't want to see you get hurt. I think you should wait; find out if he still really likes you, and more importantly, find out if you really like him. And I mean really like him. Sure, I think Sirius is a good-looking bloke with a good-looking bum, but I wouldn't want to date him. Wait to see if what you're feeling is love or lust. Maybe you just really want a boy. I mean," Alice blushed and looked into her lap, "Ever since things with you and Severus went South... It'd be completely normal for you to want someone who wanted you... Severus hurt you even though he liked you... Not that James is like Severus, not at all! Personally..." Alice looked up at me. I almost laughed, because I knew what she was trying to say. I didn't help her though; I hadn't forgotten that she'd licked me. "I mean to say... Well, he changed over the summer... Wait, Lily, he didn't even ask you to go out with him!" Her face light up with triumph. "Not on the platform, not in here, not once! That's definitely a sign of maturation!"

The floor of the train began to rumble. Long fingers of steam ran past the windows. Slowly, the train began to move. I stood up, knowing that I had to tell Alice one last bit of information before I left for the prefect compartment. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned to look back at her knowing it was now or never.

"Alice?" She looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

I gulped. Now or never. "Ever since I saw him on the platform today, I've been calling James Potter a sex-god in my head. Just wanted you to know."

And with that I opened the door and left.

God, she was going to kill me when I got back.

That Bloody Potter.