A/N : Apparently, people, I'm alive. I just had to post this. I cried while writing it...


I'm Sorry If You're Reading This.

Dear Shunsui,

I hope you're the one reading this. And if you are, that means I'm no longer beside you. I'm really sorry that I have to leave you this early. Even though we have been with each other for hundreds of years, it always feels so short. I wish I could stay with you forever…

First of all, I want to thank you for taking care of me all these times. You're always the first one to notice whenever something is wrong with me. I always appreciate how caring you are.

I've always loved you, Shunsui. I always will, even after I disappear. There is just no one like you. There will be no other man I quite like you. Your laid back personality, your charm and intelligence. I really can't describe how you are like, or how much I love you. We've been through so much hard times, and yet they made us so much stronger than the time before.

I enjoyed my time serving the Thirteenth Division. Everyone had been such a great help. We all had fun, Shunsui. Please tell them that I love them as well. And please tell Rukia-san, also Kiyone-san and Sentaro-san to take care of the division while they look for my replacement. Treat him/her with respect and care, just like how they treated me.

I am so glad Yamamoto-Shotaichou took me under his wings. Don't tease him too much, Shunsui. He's no longer young. Help him instead. He'll appreciate all the help he can get. I've learned so much from him. I hope you did too.

It was fun, wasn't it, Shunsui? The times when we were still in the Academy. We had lots of friends back then. Although we had more friends and comrades in our division, our Academy days were irreplaceable. I wish we could go back to those days. Oh, I'm sorry I shoved you when you tried to kiss me on our graduation day. I just couldn't do it in front of everyone.

I was a bit scared when we were assigned to be captains in Gotei 13. But I'm glad you were with me all the way. I can't stop saying how grateful I am to be placed there. It was where I'm supposed to be. Before I forget, I have a bag of Shiro-chan's favorite candy in my drawer. Please give it to him.

Do you still remember the night you asked me to be with you forever? The moon shone so very beautifully and you said I was more beautiful than the moon itself. You know you can't compare anything to the moon, Shunsui. I'm not even as beautiful as a flower growing on the side of the road. I'm crippled and weak. I'm just a man that's nothing without you beside me.

I'm writing this in the middle of the night, as I watch you sleep ever so peacefully. My heart aches just seeing you there, knowing that I have to leave you one day. I never want to leave you, I swear. But what on earth and heaven can I do? I want to stay with you, be happy, perhaps create a family of our own. I just hope you won't ever have to read this, Shunsui. Just so you know, I'd be devastated.

I love you, Shunsui Kyoraku. I love you. And again, I'm sorry if you're reading this.

Jyuushiro Ukitake.

"Jyuu, what are you doing? Come and sleep…" Shunsui said groggily. "I don't like waking up without you in my arms." I just chuckled and folded the letter neatly, tucking it in my drawer.

"Yes, yes. I'll sleep now, Shunsui." I got on the futon and slipped in under the blanket beside him, hugging him close.

"Get some rest, we have to wake up early tomorrow. Yama-jii wants to see us." He kissed my forehead and hugged me back, wrapping me in the most comfortable warmth.

"You know that I love you, right?" I yawned and feel the tiredness wash over me.

"I know, Jyuu. I love you too."


A/N : ALL THE FRIGGIN EMOTIONS!

Shunsui : I'll never read that letter, I swear.

Jyuushiro : Why?

Shunsui : Because you'll never disappear, Jyuushiro.

Jyuushiro : *is happy* I love you.

Shunsui : *le huggles* I love you even more.