A/N I tried to stick as close to canon as possible with each character's bad deeds (it really is shocking when you realize all the bad things the heroes have done! :O ) but I might have forgotten some or got a few facts confused. Hopefully not though, but if you see a mistake please forgive me :)
(I'm still getting used to formatting for fanfiction . net, so please forgive the wonky layout of the titles and Author's Notes ^.^)
THE UGLY TRUTH
"Mohinder?"
Peter takes a moment to think. "You mean apart from you? And me, for that matter! Thanks again for that, by the way." Sylar plants a kiss onto the top of Peter's head in reply, then lays back into the pillows. "... I don't know exactly how many people he kidnapped and cocooned, or how many lab rats died through his experiments -"
"Inhumane torture more like."
"Yeah. But I'm guessing he ranks up a fair few."
"What about that Strauss woman? How many people has she killed?"
"Quite a lot, from what I gather. I think she had a meltdown after the first one, but somehow something switched and she seemed to have no trouble killing after that."
"She became a "serial killer", y'know. But as soon as she said "I want my life back" she got it, and nobody cared anymore about all the horrible things she'd done. Imagine that..." His voice is thick with bitterness, and Peter strokes his arm softly, brushing the dark hairs into place.
"Anyway, moving on... Adam: don't make me go into depth on his, I don't think I have the strength. Probably too many to count, definitely more than you."
"Don't sound too impressed at that, Peter, you might make a guy jealous." Sylar says sarcastically, and Peter lifts his head from Sylar's chest to send him an annoyed look from under raised eyebrows.
"Will you stop that? How many times do I have to tell you nothing happened with Adam? I barely knew the guy, and we had a lot more pressing matters to focus on than each other. I still don't get why you can't just accept that!"
"Well it wouldn't be the fist time you had a mass-murderer in your bed, would it?" The sheets rustle as both men shuffle their feet, play-kicking.
After a few moments they settle back down again, Peter lying back against Sylar's front, feeling his chest warm and every rise and fall of his lungs. "Why have you got that weird idea stuck in your head anyway? I only knew him briefly for a few weeks, and most of that was trapped in a prison with a wall between us."
"Hmm, and why does that sound so familiar...?"
"Seriously, I can only tell you the truth so many times. I didn't even think of him that way once. Now shut up about Adam, alright! I don't even wanna hear his name again." Its true, and he's sick to death of hearing that be cast up again and again by his jealous room-mate.
Sylar knows better than to irritate his little companion, his only true friend. And that expression from before sends warning bells through his mind, so he bites back the flood of other retorts threatening to spill from his lips. He believes Peter, he doesn't really think that he had a thing with Adam of all people, but it is the jealousy that someone else had been trapped alone with Peter for endless, isolated weeks and become his friend first that causes the undeserved hatred for the old guy. As in, a few centuries old. "Fine. Lets move on. Who's next?"
"What about Hiro?"
"Me again."
"But you didn't die."
"It was attempted murder, still counts."
"But he was trying to do the right thing."
"Attempted murder is still as bad as murder. If it counts for Mohinder and you, it works for Hiro and me. Even if it was for, uh, a "good cause"..."
"Fine, you can have that one. Ma... um... except my father, I don't know of anyone she's actually tried to murder with her own hands. But there's loads she's been responsible for, though. I wouldn't be surprised by anything at this point. She's up there with the big boys – oh! - we should add Noah to that list, he's probably killed more people than all of us combined."
"Except almighty Adam the legendary warrior..." That earns Sylar a not-quite-so-playful elbow to the ribs. "Alright, alright. Sweet Claire?"
"In this timeline? Nobody."
"Oh please! She unnecessarily killed a guy by kicking his head through the car window while wearing high heels! The poor guy was just doing his job and driving her to safety."
"What?! How do you know that?"
"It was in the files at Building 26, not to mention they got it on tape. She was merciless. And don't underestimate the amount of times she's traumatized innocent people by flaunting her ability just 'cause she can't stand not being the centre of attention and hasn't shown off for a few hours. And there was that time she hunted down a man with the sole intent of shooting him."
It is clear from Peter's stunned silence and crest-fallen look that he's never thought of that before. "Oh man. That's horrible."
"She isn't so innocent, Peter. I think we should both remember that more often." Sylar's eye-socket seems to sting just at the memory. "Lets change the subject..."
"Don't! Don't say "Nathan", we all know exactly what he did, what he was responsible for."
"Okay, carrying on... ha! This'll be good: Parkman?"
"I dunno about murder, but he's definitely ruined a few lives by messing with people's heads."
"Did I ever tell you he probably got the water guy fired cause he made him think he'd changed route? Just because he was jealous that the water guy had spent more time than he had with the kid he abandoned."
"I'll bet a lot of people lost their jobs after Matt made them look incompetent. But that's still not as bad as murder."
"Did I not mention the time he practically punched a guy to death, then used his ability to weasel out of any consequences whatsoever?" Sylar conveniently forgets to include the part where he himself was guilty of goading Matt into violence in the first place. But the "no-consequence" part still angers him to no end.
"Yeah, Matt isn't really on my favourite person list right now..." Peter glances out the window, where the rest of this empty dream world stretches on to eternity.
"I hate to say it, but he's near the top of mine." Peter shifts in his arms to face him, and Sylar grins into that questioning frown. "Trapping us here with no distractions, together... remind me to thank him if we ever get out." They both chuckle and share a sweet, tender kiss before settling back into their cuddle. "What about Parkman's little girlfriend?"
"Janice? She doesn't have an ability, she's not eligible for this. Besides, I don't think she'd hurt anyone anyway."
"No, the speedster woman he basically forced into a relationship with him, then forgot about as soon as she died, moving back in with the ex-wife and baby he walked out on as if she'd never even existed?"
Peter's voice is low as he lets that sink in. Sadly, every word is true. Playing this game is really dragging out parts of his friends that he isn't even sure he wants to think about. "Daphne. I think she'd done some bad stuff in her lifetime, maybe stood by and let a few deaths happen, but overall I think she was good enough."
"Aren't they all?" Sylar huffs into Peter's hair, slipping his arms around his waist snugly. "Well, fess up! What about you, Peter? And don't give me the alternate timelines crap, I mean actual you, in this time...?"
There are a few tense seconds while Peter wonders whether to answer or not. But it is only fair, after all. "Well... there was this one time... in Odessa, Primatech. I was helping..."
"Adam. Yes. Continue."
"On the way to the vault I knocked a few guards back into the wall, and stomped on another's face. It wasn't murder, but it was pretty brutal all the same. They were hurt, and I broke that one guy's nose, and I still feel awful thinking about it..." Peter completely misses the fond smile on his lover's face, Sylar feeling him squirm under the guilt. "I dunno what came over me! Maybe Adam's emotions rubbed off or something, 'cause I would never usually hurt someone like that for no reason. Hell, even with a reason!"
"Except me, of course."
"Well you're special, aren't you? And obviously there's the nail gun incident with you. Not my proudest moment..."
They fall silent, lost in memories of blood, pain and each other. It feels like a different lifetime. Finally Sylar breaks the reminiscing, trying and failing not to sound indignant. "Isn't it funny how all of these so-called "heroes" either pretend they haven't hurt people, or the world just forgets and accepts them back with open arms? Even Bennet gets forgiven by all and hailed as some great dad, even though he's done a shitty job at that too? And don't get me started on Claire, and how for some reason even you still think of her as perfect and sweet after everything she's done. They all get away with all of those horrible things, but when it's my turn it's all so unforgivable."
Peter twists and presses his lips to the centre of Sylar's bare chest, breath tickling the skin. "Lets not dwell on that right now. We can come back to that later. Now tell me about yours? I think we've exhausted the list of mine."
"Hmm... I never really had many friends, so this isn't going to take long. Do I really need to include Elle? I'm sure you know well enough anyway."
"Yeah." The haunting image of that charred, burned body back in Ireland still makes Peter queasy sometimes.
"Then there's Maya. Not really a friend, but more my acquaintance than yours, so... she must've killed about the same amount of people as me. Maybe more, actually..."
"By accident though."
"That's irrelevant right now. Hmm... remember I told you about that crazy kid Luke who tagged along with me for a while? Well he fried a guy to death right in his livingroom. While his mother watched."
"Ouch, that's horrific. Who else?"
Sylar caresses a hand up Peter's neck, cheek and forehead and into his hair, letting it slip through his fingers, silky smooth. A chuckle toys with his lips. "I guess that brings me to you."
"Hey! Don't laugh! What's so funny?"
"I'm sorry – it's just too precious! Saint Peter, who loses the most sleep out of all of us because he broke a guy's nose that one time he tried to badass his way down a corridor!" Sylar's throaty laugh is loud in the small room, and Peter's unintentional little pout only makes him love him more. Sylar kneads him back down until his back is once again warming Sylar's front, then tightens his arms around Peter's chest, hugging him closer. "Ahh, please never change, Peter."
Despite having his guilty conscience laughed at, Peter allows himself to zone out in the comfort of his lover's relaxing embrace. His mind replays the entire conversation, and he really can't believe how much damage everyone has caused. Yet, hardly any of them are labelled "murderers" or "villains", even though they each have their fair share of downright villainous actions. Except perhaps Hiro. At least that is a relief, that there is still one good person amongst them.
"Wow." He breathes out, linking his fingers through Sylar's. "We really know how to pick them, huh?"
"You could say we surround ourselves with some pretty fucked-up company." He squeezes Peter's hand, needing no words to express his heartfelt gratitude that at least someone has faith in him. He can feel Peter's heart beating beneath his palm, and knows that he has no idea where he would be without that trust and hope keeping him strong. Tracey, Parkman, Claire, they all have murky pasts to rival his own, yet it is their family and friends accepting them despite this that makes the difference between them and Sylar. And now he has Peter to fill that void in his life. To give him a reason to change.
"Looks like you're really not so bad, once we compare you to everyone else. And you have the added excuse of being manipulated multiple times into causing some of the trouble you did. Not all of it, and that still doesn't make it okay, but it definitely means something. At least it's more of an excuse than most of those "good guys" have. And really, this could've been a lot worse: I could've been stuck here with Mohinder. And I somehow think lying in bed with you is a lot more enjoyable than being stuck to the wall in a cocoon for the rest of time..."
They kiss again, happy and content to be in each other's company. It hurts to face the ugly truth about the people Peter thinks of as friends and good people, but right now he has no reason to dwell on it. In fact, Sylar's tongue is currently giving him a very good reason to forget about them all altogether... Maybe forever isn't so bad after all.
"Or you could've been stuck here with Adam. Don't pretend, I know you've thought of it a few times..."
"Seriously, dude-!"
The sheets rustle some more, but this time the play-fighting quickly escalates into a much more painless activity...
