6/17/11
Another day.
This girl moves on autopilot, no longer needing to think much to herself. She doesn't have much control over herself. This is the life she chose.
Life filled with glamour and success, to be recognized as a star. Her popularity's at an all time high in her short career and from the photo shoots given.
Smile here, smile there, wave to the fan screaming her name. Automatic responses.
"Rise, you have an interview at eleven."
"Got it." An hour alone based on make up, preparing what to say, going over how to express herself, correct answers to the questions stated. To be happy, to be so happy the brain can't register the true boredom circling inside.
...
The interview was flawless from rehearsal, questions solely on how she's feeling becoming a model, how does the life of a model work out? What's it like to be popular. Nothing on who she lives with, what's her life prior to entering stardom, to who she is inside.
Friends don't exist. Right, her original plan was to find friends and enjoy their company. Not to be the shy girl conflicted on how to move, to be bullied and teased. Her entire attitude now is a reflection to the problems faced in her childhood.
And now here they are, multiplied in intensity in the pain she locks away. The friends she sought happened to know about her lifestyle and not how she's an individual with a mind.
"Concert rehearsal at three, followed by practice before hitting the stage at seven."
"Hm." A half hearted nod, almost zoning out to the reflection given off the limo mirror, tinted and distorted.
...
Rehearsal worked in her favor, after calibrating the instruments and memorizing the songlist, the idol was primed to perform. By now the crowd is chanting her name, her fake nickname given by her manager to maximize profit.
"Risette...Risette...Risette."
The redhead took a long moment in the mirror, reviewing what to go through, ignoring this sensation to break free or take charge to who she really is.
'They don't love you. Only Risette. They only see a beautiful face, no personality.'
She stares longingly in her mirror, analyzing the smallest mistake she can catch or what her makeup couldn't shield. These thoughts bugged her lately, she couldn't shake them like she used to.
She walked behind the curtain, faking another smile and preparing herself to give her attention to the passionate fans who knows her as Risette.
The idol waved as she got on stage, grabbing hold of the microphone and observing the fans who came to watch her perform.
"Thank you everyone for coming!" She took a moment to calm the audience before continuing. "Who's ready for Risette?" The crowd roared, wishing to hear the rising star to perform. Giggling like an airhead, she decided to give them what they wanted.
"Okay, let's rock!"
Clutching a bottle of water, the woman walked into her hotel room, drinking to restoring her vocal chords. She can't let them lack water or else damaging them would then damaged profits and she would be getting reprimanded. Only now does she have free time to be herself. Free time lasting two hours on a good day. Sitting down in front of the mirror, she once again takes a long look at herself. No longer to seek out flaws to how she looks, this has a different matter. She checked every angle and she can't find the answer she seeks.
"Who am I?" She looked miserable. Smokes and mirrors clouded her perfect vision.
'I'm Rise!' Is what she'd say but business blended her reality and now she's unsure who's doing what or what others truly get out of her. Entertainment? That's it?
She glanced downward at the desk, mulling over a decision. These thoughts continue to pervade her now, these negative impulses making her rethink her decision and lifestyle.
...
Off she went, putting on pajamas and tucking herself into the queen size bed. Time to redo this boring cycle. Sleep wasn't an issue, no, she slept straight till morning. The only problems were her dreams, they only reinforce the negative qualities lingering in her mind. Maybe it's a lesson, a concept to take to heart and learn to step back, to know she's had enough. It's affecting her health and performance.
...
"I'm quitting."
Her manager couldn't believe the popular idol said those words, the revenue gained was at a maximum and served to only go further if she continues. Now as the public's in a fever pitch, she wishes to quit?! He tried to negotiate or asked if this was something temporary. Or a heartless joke in the least.
"No." She stood her ground, planting her feet while she looked up. "I'm done, I wish to return to my hometown, live a normal life. If I was to return, it isn't any time soon."
Her manager frowned but realizes if he has an ounce of a heart, he can't deny his client's wishes and for her to keep going would only cause conflict and ruin business. Ah yes, money, money money. It fuels the world.
"No worries, if you are to take this hiatus, where will you go?"
"Back with my family, my grandma of course."
Living a normal life is the biggest objective she wants to accomplish. There's nothing greater on her road. To be friends, to meet someone who shares her thoughts and ideals. It's what she would be glad to have.
'Wonder how grandma's doing?'
