"And when were you planning on tell me?" Jim doesn't turn around to face him. Sebastian clears his throat before answering.
"I'm sorry…" Jim's fists clench, but he still doesn't turn around in his chair.
"I take it you weren't."
"No sir." Jim swallows hard and takes a deep breath before finally turning around.
"Why are you asking me then?" Seb frowns, shifting back and forth on his feet.
"Thought you'd like to know…"
"Well of course you can yeah. Just…" Jim turns around again, frown growing on his face. "Text me the details. I've got some things to fix currently, picked a really bad time. Sorry Seb." I glance at him and he nods.
"Yes sir. Thank you sir." Jim nods and Sebastian turns, closing the door behind him. As soon as Jim's sure that Seb has gone down the hall he sits down and sweeps his arms across the top of the table, knocking everything to the floor in a fit of anger.
"What is he thinking? I need him! Here, with me! He's the only one I trust to do anything around here. Dear god this is madness." He rests his head in his hands on the now empty desk top and massages his forehead. "Couldn't have given me at least a two month warning? I've had this planned for nine months, everything is in motion now and I can't change a damn thing." He sighs heavily before standing up and straightening his jacket out. "SEB!" He calls down the hall, knowing full well that Sebastian hasn't left yet. "I'm going out! Don't wait up." He grabs his coat and leaves, letting the door slam behind him. The only thing he can think about it what had been said.
'So…. I've been thinking.'
'About what?' Sebastian fell silent.
'Going back to the army…' Jim's heart stopped. Dear god, he couldn't be serious. He held his face of indifference well enough, and returned with a question.
'When?' Sebastian was surprised, Jim didn't seem upset in the least, or surprised for that matter.
'Wednesday.'
'Ah.'
'Are you going to let me go?' Seb had asked with pleading in his voice. 'It's just… I don't feel fit for service right now, at least not to you. I need to get back in the game.' Jim hadn't turned around yet.
"I've got to get home and have a nice glass of bourbon." He mumbles to himself. "What a shit way to end the day." His phone buzzes and he pulls it out. Rolling his eyes he unlocks his phone and reads the full message.
Plane leaves at 06:00.
Tomorrow.
-S
He doesn't even bother to write a reply and just stuffs it in his pocket again. 'Oh for the love of everything sacred' he muses, 'not even a whole day of warning. I suppose…' He fumbles in his pockets for the keys to his large flat and climbs the stairs to the door. With no effort he unlocks the door and tosses the keys onto the table. He sighs, flopping straight onto the couch and grumpily staring at the ceiling. He pulls his phone out again and sets an alarm, sitting up and throwing his jacket over the table. He pulls the cupboard open and retrieves a bourbon glass and the bottle. He pours himself a generous amount and downs it in a heartbeat, filling it again and stopping the bottle.
He presses the glass to his forehead before taking a sip. There's a knock on his door, and he plods down the hall, opening the door with a confused look. He swallows quickly.
"Seb!" He blinks, "What the hell are you doing here?" The blond man laughs before speaking, gesturing to the glass in his hand.
"Already missing me?" Jim just stands there, stunned. The blond man's smile fades and he cocks his head to the side. "Going to let me in?" He blinks again, shaking his head slightly before stepping back.
"What? Yes, of course. Come in. Bourbon?" Sebastian smiles as he closes the door behind himself, entering the kitchen after Jim.
"Sure why not. I could unwind a bit." Jim offers a small smile and pours him a glass.
"Why are you here?" Jim asks again, not willing to ask a third time. Sebastian sighs and sets the glass down before falling silent as if trying to gather his thoughts. He opens his mouth several times in an attempt to say something, closing it because he can't find the words. He bites his bottom lip and swallows hard before speaking.
"Because I wanted to give you this." Short, simple, to the point. He pulls out an envelope and hands it to him. "Do me a favour and don't open it until I'm gone." Confusion floats across Jim's face.
"Problem?" Sebastian smiles crookedly,
"Not yet. But there will be." He downs his bourbon in a few gulps and sets the glass down again. "Are you free tonight?" Jim grins.
"Always. Something in mind?" Seb just shakes his head.
"Just getting pissed with my best mate… If you're up to it of course."
"Of course I'm up to it. It's your last night." Sebastian frowns and Jim's voice dies in his throat before he continues, "I'm not mentioning that again." Sebastian nods.
"Probably for the best Jimmy." He clears his throat awkwardly and hops up onto the counter top, holding his glass out for a refill.
"Pub or are we just staying here then?"
"I'd like to stay here." Jim smiles.
"Sounds great." Sebastian grins at him, sipping his bourbon now, less rushed to get drunk. He hops off the counter, sitting down at the kitchen table and staring into his glass. "You know Seb…. You're my best mate. And…. I'm going to miss you." Sebastian looks up with a smile. "I don't miss people, you know that… I don't have friends, you know that too." He takes a deep breath, decided it's best to get everything, or most everything he wants to say to Seb while he can plead intoxicated. "So take my word as gospel on this Sebastian Moran, you come back in one piece, you come back and you be the same man you were when you left. Because I've lost people. I've lost, so many people in my life and all it does is make me cold, not this. If you…. If my only best mate, if you leave and I get some cheap arse letter in the mail and an email saying that you are dead, I don't know what I'd do. Have you got that?" Seb's face goes through a series of changes, spreading his emotions out like the pages of a book. He's frowning now. "So you just…. You just promise. Right here. Right now, to me. You promise." Sebastian swallows thickly,
"You know I can't promise that Jimmy. You of all people know the tragedies of war. You know there are some things I can't stop." Jim slams his glass down on the counter with an angry grunt.
"Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up! Let me have this much. You owe me. You bloody owe me." Sebastian bites his bottom lip, indecision wracking his thoughts.
"I can't lie to you. You know I can't…" Jim glares at him, "But, I can say I'll try my best, I'll stay safe and keep myself from harm as best I can… You accept that? Can you accept that at all?" Jim is quiet for a moment, knowing that this is the best offer he'll get right now, and it's the only one he'll be able to get. He slides the envelope between his hands on the counter before grudgingly nodding. "Good." Jim nods again, slowly and turns to face him, not saying anything, simply watching him. Normally this would unsettle Sebastian but he feels he owes him, more than that flimsy promise, and he just stares back at him. Without a word he stands up and Jim slowly makes his way through the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Sebastian in a tight hug. He doesn't say a word, just hugs him, because that's what he needs. When he lets go he steps back and clears his throat.
"Sorry." Seb looks at him curiously.
"No, it's fine…" Jim nods and gets himself another glass of bourbon. It's going to be a long night.
Author's Note: In my defense, instead of writing everything that I'm supposed to be updating, I've been working on this. It was just going to be a oneshot but I, being stupid, found that it was just a bit long, what, 1,455 words in the first chapter? Come now. I decided three chapters were enough. On Friday, considering it's been a while for ANYTHING, I've got reviews, and messages to respond too... Friday is going to be a catch up day, and hopefully I'll get to work on a bit of everything. SO, with that, hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review, and send me love because I need it. Thanks, enjoy yourself, and REVIEW.
Until Gallifrey is free,
Time Lord Victorious
