Ted Mosby was sick of how his life in New York was going. He had good friends, sure, but they all were in successful relationships. He was alone. Once again. Ted sighed and looked out the window of the cab at the immense Tipton Hotel. He had decided to travel on vacation to get away from it all. He carefully adjusted his hair, as he halfway hoped to find someone here to share his hotel bed.

The cab pulled up to the front of the hotel, and Ted exited, thanking the driver. He paid his fee and pulled his bag into the lobby. He was shocked to see two twin boys causing a ruckus, knocking things over and harassing the pretty blonde working the candy counter. He looked around for some sort of explanation.

Suddenly an African-American man burst from the elevator and began berating the boys.

"You little shits! I ought to have you flayed! Why I allow you two to stay here I'll never understand!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

The twins shouted "Fuck off, asshole! We do what we want!"

One of them turned to the other and said "Let's go to the zoo again." He winked.

They ran off towards the elevator while the man sank into an armchair. Ted went over to him hesitantly.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" he asked nervously. He didn't want the man to blow up at him too.

"Yes, it's just, those kids are the worst. Always screaming, always breaking, always harassing my patrons. We've lost a whole star because of them." the man vented. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "And I can't do anything about it because their mother works here and for some reason I can't fire her."

Ted stood silently listening to the man, sympathetic. He put his hand to the other's shoulder, hoping to convey this.

"My name is Ted. Is there anything I can do for you? We can hang out, go get a drink?"

"My name is Marion. I would really like that. I need a night out."

Ted smiled and arranged plans with Marion to go out to a bar later that night. He went to the check-in desk. He was very curious to see what would occur later that night. For Drunk Ted was often unpredictable...