"In a Flash"

By Eoraptor

Rated T

Danger Mouse Reboot Property of the BBC and Freemantle Media. This work is not for profit and under fair-use, I claim no ownership over anything but the premise.


"What are you working on there, Squawk?"

It wasn't much, but it was just enough distraction at just the wrong moment. The lights went out throughout the laboratory, even the supposedly glowing phosphate stripes on the tube-wall.

"Ach!" the red-feathered chicken barked in startled bemusement, "Well… it WAS a pair of auto-shuttering goggles to help Danger Moth with her obsessive photo-philia. Now it's pro'ably so much junk. Did ya need something, Mouse?"

"er- ah… yes…" The Mouse fumbled around in the sudden darkness, "The charge port on my i-patch seems to be broken. Penfold can't seem to get them to take a charge."

The chicken gave an embittered sigh and palmed her face in the gloom. The great clod had probably gotten crisp crumbs in the socket again. "Fine… leave it on tha table, and flick the breakers on yer way out."

"Sure," He chirped. After a moment, he made a concerned sound, "where exactly was that again?"

"Where's what?" she grumbled.

"Well, either the table, or the breakers…"

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" she clucked irritably and turned towards the sound of his voice in the gloom. "Just give it here and I'll deal with it."

There was some shuffling noise, and she smelled as much as heard the Danger Agent Grade 1 approach her. That darned after-shave of his was so pungent. "Alright, now just put it in my 'and and leave."

She heard him move, and then gave an almighty squawk, "Tha's NOT My Hand!"

"Errrr-," Danger Mouse wiggled the discarded eye patch back and forth, certain he had rested it between her fingers. "You're sure about that?"

A smack echoed through the darkened laboratory in response to that. "Nay, that was my hand."

"Then what did I just put the i-patch in?" He was about to wiggle the little Danger aide, but thought better of it as his cheek throbbed.

The Professor breathed slowly, resisting the urge to find some kind of weapon and destroy the meddlesome mouse. "Don't worry about it, Mouse. Just drop it… literally."

After a moment, the white mouse let go of the patch, and withdrew his hand. "So, where are these breakers at again?"

"How can you not echo-locate, with ears like those?" the Professor grumbled, calling his silhouette to mind. "They are on the left side of the door, as you are LEAVING."

"Oh!" came a chipper tone as said doors slid open, "'ere you are! Chief, the Colonel wants you… …say, Professor, why do you have the i-patch down your…"

"Never Mind." Squawkencluck bit out between gritted teeth.

"Wait a tick… Penfold, you can see us?" Danger Mouse inclined his head towards the sound of the voice.

"Of course I can, Chief. You're standing there, next to the Professor, next to the lab table, next to Danger Moth's badge, next to the heavy weapons locker, next to the-,"

"Yes yes Penfold, we understand… what we can't understand," DM interrupted the rambling of his hamster helper, "Is how you can see us in a pitch black lab with no windows and only one door that opens into an equally dark tunnel."

"Is it dark?" the balding hamster looked around in confusion, "Is it? Oh deary it is! It IS dark and I'm hallucinating all of this! Oh no!"

Squawkencluck clapped a hand to her face again at the inanity of it all. Only after stewing in righteous indignation for a moment did the horror dawn on her. "Danger Mouse… if he can see us, but we can't see him…"

"That means that the lights never went out, did they?" the mouse agent finished with growing trepidation.

Penfold was still busy panicking up one wall and down the other, so the chicken professor sighed, pinching her beak and fumbling her away across her table. She grabbed the microphone and thumbed it on, "Comput'r, play back the last two minutes of lab video in 'W' Mode."

"W mode?" Danger mouse inclined his head at the turn of phrase, "What's W mode?"

Squawkencluck sighed, "Back when Danger Worm was still on the payroll, we had to convert all photos and videos to 'W' mode, because worms d'nae have eyes."

They listened to the replay of DM and the Professor in the lab, Sqauwkencluck resting her hands on a flat plate on her table.

"Cor! That's a bright light there!" Penfold exclaimed, shielding his own eyes and coke-bottle glasses from the screen.

"That's what I was afraid of," The chicken sighed bitterly.

"What was, Professor?" DM inclined his head.

"You Daft Mouse!" She barked at the rodent angrilly, "We've been blinded by a flash of light from Danger Moth's goggles!"

"But I didn't see anything like a flash!" the Danger Agent complained at the harsh tone.

"Of course you didn't…" the Professor growled out. "The light burned your retinas, excuse me, retina, before the signals could even travel to that wee pea-brain of yours."

"So, you two can't…" Penfold began uncertainly, looking between the two taller lab occupants, "You two can't see? At all?"

"The Professor AND Danger Mouse? Blinded by the Light?! Who saw that one coming?! Not Me! But then again they never did give me script approval, or even an advanced peek. I mean, they want me to announce this stuff, but I'm not even allowed to know what's going on ahead of ti-,"

"Narrator," the chicken and the mouse intoned irritably in unison.

"Yes?"

"Shush!"