Disclaimer:
J.K. Rowling has the great honour
and privilege of owning Harry Potter and the whole gang. Sadly, I'm not making
any money off of this. Oh, and the song belongs to Gabrielle and whoever else.
Don't sue!
Author's Note: First off, let me start
by saying that I'm by no means a staunch Harry/Hermione shipper (prefer
Draco/Hermione and Ron/Hermione ::grins sheepishly::). Anyway, I kind of wrote
this one on a whim, so I hope it pleases! Anyway, it's basically a short,
slightly sad fiction told entirely through Hermione's eyes. For this particular
story, they are in their seventh year. Italics
are for the song lyrics and thoughts. ENJOY and feel free to leave me a
review! ::g::
OUT OF REACH
by
LITTLE-L
The snow crunches under my feet, causing Harry and I to jump. The shadows of the Forbidden Forest dance on his troubled face. Moonlight eerily bounces off of the lake. In the moonlight I can see the cold beads of sweat that built up on his neck.
When we come to a
secluded spot at the lake's edge, Harry stops. It's the place where he first
told me he loved me. It's the place where we shared out first kiss. It's where
'we' began, and it is where 'we' will end.
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
The winter darkness has turned his normally loving and welcoming green eyes to nothing more than pools of black. A cold shiver runs through my body, and I know the cold is not from the outside, but from within.
Harry gestures for
me to sit down on a nearby log. We sit, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, leg
to leg. Unconsciously he brushes away a loose brown ringlet that falls into my
eyes. Wrapping ourselves in silence has become almost second nature to us. Not
the nice kind of uncomfortable silence that falls between two people who begin
to fancy each other, it was more of the awkward silence of strangers. I guess,
in a way, it was a way to avoid the truth.
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
For two years, Harry has been my world. He's been my best friend, my boyfriend, my comfort, my shield, my love, and my strength. Now, as we sit here, I've come to break this pact, this bond. And as I sit here, all I want to do is hold him, touch him. At the very least, I want to know that everything will be okay.
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
We both know that if we talk about the truth, then it will all be over. So instead, we choose silence. It's ironic really, I think, as Harry's shoes kick the snow around his feet, that the place where we began will also be the place we end.
How does Harry expect us to get through this? The owl's hooting in the distance mirror everything my heart is feeling. I look up into his eyes and he turns away when a stray tear seeps from my eye.
"Don't,"
he says. His voice is quiet, but nevertheless, filled with pain. He cradles my
face between his hands, and his thumb brushes away my tear. His mouth is so
close and my lips reach for his, but he pulls away.
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
The rejection I'm feeling stings, and I wish that I could fall asleep beneath the soft, comforting warmth of my bed. I half wish that all this is a nightmare, and that when I wake up all the pain and the agony will be gone.
"I love you, Harry." The words spoken were more of a peace offering.
"Don't, 'Mione. You'll only make things worse."
"How could things get any worse, Harry?" For the first time in my seven years at Hogwarts, my voice is pleading and desperate. My world is caving in around me, and Harry has the gall to worry about how things could be any worse.
The stars envelop us like a blanket. It's odd how they can appear so bright and brilliant, while there hardly seems to be any light in my world.
Instinctively, my
hand reaches for the gold necklace around my neck, and I twirl it between my
fingers. I've been wearing it for two years now. He gave it to me at the fifth
year Yule Ball. Out here in the cold, while the snow seeped into the hem of my
blue dress robe. Now, the gold pales and the luminosity that it once had has
faded.
Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK
"Harry, do you feel like this is surreal? Don't you feel like this should never have happened to us?" I ask. "This was not supposed to happen to us!" He continues to look far away, almost like he's trying to avoid the questions.
But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
"We can work it out. After all, this is us we're talking about," he says, stifling a laugh.
What could possibly be funny about this? I wonder. "Are you laughing at me?" I demand. The look in his eyes tells me I'm wrong. It tells me that it is his way of coping; a cheap boy's way out of crying. Cop out, I mutter. Slowly, I run my finger along his jawline, in an almost endearing fashion. He snatches my hand, and for a moment, time stood still.
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
He leans in to
kiss me, his lips looking to seek reconciliation.
So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you
The moonlight
bathes us in a diluted light, but it is dark enough to only see our shadows.
The hooting of the owls sings a calming, soothing song.
But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Our lips meet for
one last kiss. No heat builds up in my heart, only a cold, aching, hollow
feeling. His lips are cold but firm against mine, and in that brief moment, I
know that life will go on, with our without him.
Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
So, as we break
apart, I take a deep breath, and disentangle myself from his arms and start the
walk back to Hogwarts Entrance. The snow crunching under my feet, and the wet
hem of my robe tells me I'm alive, and somehow, someway, I know I will get
through this.
Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me
So … how was it? Good, bad, all right? Let me know!
Thanks,
LITTLE-L
