She hated the way he looked at her. That smug, arrogant look. The intensity in his grey eyes. The smirk that graced his mouth. It made her weak at the knees, it made her want to scream. It made her want to hit him. Torturous as it was, she couldn't compel herself to look away. Maybe it was the darkness in him that drew her inexplicably towards the inevitable confrontation which she knew he would win. He was like that, cocky, selfish like a petulant child. Everyone knew it. But they couldn't see what she saw in him, sadness, despair, behind those beautiful grey eyes he was screaming, clawing for a way out, grasping onto some fucked up reality where there were no boundaries, no responsibilities, where they could be together. But they both knew that that would never be. She was dying inside from not being able to be with him, from not being able to touch. He was already gone, the light from his eyes burnt out. This was the mask he was forced to wear. He had to settle for watching her. The weight of their attraction hung in the air between them, but the force that was driving them apart was stronger suffocating the unspoken lust, the whispered words that would never come. Their passion was immense but there it sat, unbidden, until the day it will come to an abrupt end. When it would destroy them and consume their very being.
Three years...
It happened at the moment she least expected it, they had both chosen a side, her the light, him the dark. She had thought him lost. The night air sparked with heat, the rain pelted down, she hurried towards her home. As she ran, she felt something, the air had become close, the world had become still and silent. She made to cross the road when she shuddered. Everything around felt as though it was sinking, the hairs on the back of her neck prickled, not from fear but from some latent form of anticipation. She turned. There he was, watching her, those eyes which haunted her every moment,
"What are you doing here?" She asked him. He walked to her,
"Watching you." He said simply, looking deep into her eyes, penetrating to the very depths of her soul. The horror of both their lives threatened them but for the moment they were perfectly alone together.
"If they find you here, they'll kill us both," she whispered. He replied, in his deep husky voice, tainted by sorrow,
"Yes they will, but I'm selfish, I had to see you." She scoffed at this, what difference would it make, tomorrow it would go back to being the same. The world they lived in would never permit this. She looked up at him, her brown eyes meeting his, searching for anything that would tell her he was still there, that they hadn't taken him, not yet. She couldn't see it, her voice cracked,
"Stop watching me. Stop making me want you." Tears cascaded down her face, he leaned forward, so close, and wiped them away with his thumbs,
"Stop thinking, just let this happen. Its about fucking time." He lunged forward, capturing her lips with his, forcing his tongue in. She leant into his kiss, giving herself fully to the moment, grasping at any part of him she could hold. He tore himself away, panting,
"Your place. Now."
They crashed through the door of her flat, within minutes he had ripped her clothes from her body, relishing the sight of her. Pushing her into the nearest wall, his lips once again crashed into to hers, whilst his hands explored every inch of her skin. She tangled her fingers in his hair, then dropped them to unbutton his shirt, pushing it from his shoulders roughly. Her eyes took in the sight of his naked torso, his shoulders broad and muscular, she ran her hands down the smooth skin of his back. His hands stopped their ministrations, as hers unzipped his trousers. With his palms flat against the wall above her head, her eyes were drawn to the mark so crudely etched into his perfect skin, she leant forward and kissed it. He flinched and caught her head, snapping it back, locking her lips onto his once more. Having removed his trousers and boxers, her fingers wrapped around the length of him, he growled and looped his arm around her waist, hoisting her up against the wall. He legs wrapped around him, she could feel his cock pressed up on her stomach, he dropped a hand between her legs, caressing her, dragging his thumb over her clit. Two fingers entered her, she gasped, his tongue was paying attention to her nipple, the double sensation threatened to drive her over the edge. His thumb found her clit again, she couldn't take it, crying out his name, he kissed her, then thrust upwards. She saw stars, she had made love before but never like this. With him she felt complete, nothing could touch her now. They found a steady rhythm, moving in perfect sync with each other. Unable to contain there passion for each other, they soon climaxed, remaining joined, until he had the strength to carry her to the bedroom. He laid her down and nuzzled her neck,
"I love you." He whispered, tears stung her eyes, making them glisten in the moons light, smiling she pulled him to her, their lips meeting,
"I love you." She whispered back. They made love all night, until sleep threatened. Having been exhausted by him, she fell asleep quickly, sated and satisfied. It wasn't as easy for him, he lay awake until the harsh light of dawn began to puncture the sky. He rose from the bed and dressed silently, looking down at her, he kissed her forehead and left, his soul belonging not to the dark but to her.
She awoke alone and sat staring in despair. He had left her to fight alone, but now he was gone again what had she left to fight for? He loved her, but that love wasn't enough to change the man he was. He was still the enemy, still her enemy. The harsh light of day mocked her, she loved him with all her broken heart. When he had come to her last night she had been desolate, surrounded by people though utterly alone. Through her well of despair she had found his grey eyes, ever watchful, desperate for something to call his own, some control of his fate. She knew in her mind that she never expected to stay with her, but her heart was screaming for him. She didn't know if she would ever see him again and if she did she had no idea what he would be. It scared her beyond belief. But here and now she swore to herself that whatever he may be she would always love him and she knew he would still love her. He had to, it was the only thought that kept her breathing. Otherwise she was dying.
Two years...
His heart turned cold, black at the prospect of facing her in the inevitable final battle. Leaving her had destroyed in him all hope that their love could survive this. But who was he kidding, his fate was sealed, loving her would never have changed that. He stared at the barren wasteland in front of him, the earth turned to ash, remnants from the last fight. That was the last time he had seen her. Their eyes met through the fire, whilst the war raged around him. They knew then that they could no longer pretend. The fight had finished, she had left, but he had stayed there, watching the space where she had stood. As the fires burned out, he felt the last ray of hope die with them. Now what was left? His fate was sealed, with the destruction of all that was good and pure. How could she love him now, he felt barely human. His last shred of humanity was dedicated solely to her. Her skin, the texture of her hair, the colour of her eyes. The was she moaned as she came, on that one night when they forgot about everything, that one night when she was his, and he was hers. Memories were all he had now, thats what kept his soul from dying, keeping his humanity alive.
After the war...
She wandered alone, through streets and parks, not stopping for anything, anyone. The snow was falling around her, she stopped. Freezing and alone, she stood and thought, of that one night. She walked again and fell to her knees sobbing, wishing the ground would open up and take her. After being there for what seemed like eternity, she found herself back at home. She collapsed on the bed and immediately fell into deep, disturbed sleep.
"Stop watching me. Stop making me want you." Her words echoed every night, everyday, every moment. And the response, a raised eyebrow, the passion and intensity, the thoughts running behind troubled grey eyes,
"Its about fucking time." His lips on hers. There explosive union. Their whispered words of love. Then the day she ran from him. He had only been able to watch her go, a solitary tear sliding down his face.
"Goodbye," he whispered to the dark.
She woke with start and looked around. Once again she found herself alone, the recurring nightmare plaguing her. She should have stayed, should have fought, the memory of it made her heart crack in two. The dream was her reality. Dragging herself out of bed, she went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Making sure the water was scalding, her daily ritual of attempting to burn the memory of that night from her. Those haunted grey eyes always watching. What she wouldn't give to see him again, to feel his breath on her skin, his arms enveloping her, drawing her in. His lips on hers, tasting of cinnamon and sugar, tinged with the bitter tang of evil. What she wouldn't give to here him whisper her name as he drew her towards ultimate pleasure. Never again, because he was gone. Wearily she dressed and made her way to the cemetery, retracing her steps back from last night. Reaching the tombstone, she sat on the patch of grass worn away by her weight. Here was where she spent her days, surrounded by those lost in the war. His headstone in front of her, she lived everyday with the pain. Never again would she leave his side.
