AN: This is my very first CM fic. It came to me while listening to a song. It hasn't been edited in any way, so I hope it's okay. Please be gentle LOL

I do not own Criminal Minds.

Song: Beside You by Marianas Trench

"I can't do this," Reid whispered as tremors racked his body and tears streamed down his cheeks. His eyes were pleading for me to do something, anything, to stop his pain. This certainly wasn't what I expected when I showed up for our date. When i saw him crying and huddling on the couch, shaking uncontrollably, I knew what was going on. He had stopped the drugs.

I laid a careful hand on my partner's sweaty forehead. "Yes you can, Spencer. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I said, pulling the blanket tighter around Reid's shoulders. "How long has it been since your last hit?"

"Um," Reid cleared his throat, frowning. "Two days, I think."

"Shit. You shoulda told me the minute you stopped, pretty boy," I said, and pulled the smaller man close. The smell of his sweat and tears were strong in my head, but I didn't care. I would endure anything for him to get better.

"Didn't want to worry you," Reid whispered, then flung the blanket off him and raced to the bathroom. Cringing as the sound of retching hit my ears, I went to get a glass of cold water.

When Reid slowly walked back into the living room, he was shirtless and shivering, arms crossed over his chest. I hurriedly sat the glass on the table and helped Reid lay down on the sofa, where he curled into a ball. Carefully, I tucked the blanket around him, wishing I could do something more. I knew I couldn't, though. This was his battle to fight, and I'd be damned if he was gonna fight it alone.

Standing, I pulled out my phone. "I'll be right back, Spencer. I promise."

Reid whimpered in response and I stepped out of the apartment, dialing Hotch.

"Morgan, what's up?" my superior's voice sounded in my ear, and I sighed.

"He stopped, Hotch," I said. "Alone. I stopped by to take him out and found him in serious withdrawals, man."

"How long has he been like this?" Hotch asked.

"He says two days, but he's not thinking clearly and his house is a mess. I'm staying here until this is over."

"Okay, should I tell the rest of the team?"

"I guess so," I shrugged. "It's not like they didn't know he was on something anyway."

"Alright. Get him better, Derek."

"I will, sir."

Closing my phone, I went back inside to find Reid sitting up, holding tissues against his face while fidgeting and rocking back and forth. God, he was shaking so bad. I locked his door and sat next to him, gently rubbing his back.

"What can I do?" I asked desperately. Seeing him like this was breaking my heart.

"Nothing," he answered through chattering teeth. "I have to do this alone."

"But you're not alone, and I'm not leaving," I told him, for the second time since I found him like this.

Fresh tears gathered in my boy's eyes and fell onto the blanket. "You shouldn't have to see me like this. I'm sorry, Derek."

"Shut up," I said, lifting his face with a finger under his chin. "Shit happens, and we deal with it when it does. I am so proud of you, you know."

With a quiet sob, Reid rested against my side and I put my arm around him, hoping like hell the next few days would go by quicker. He had the TV on some old black and white movie. I assumed he was trying to distract himself. Not likely. Drugs were hard, man, and the decision to fight to be clean was a very admirable thing.

As the time wore on, when Reid wasn't in the bathroom puking his guts up, I tried to massage the cramps out of his muscles. It didn't work very well, so I settled for cleaning up his place. When I could, I dozed on and off beside him on the couch, but the sound of his whimpering and puking didn't let me get much rest. A few times, he didn't make it to the bathroom and I kept telling him not to apologize for it - I didn't mind cleaning up, as long as he was getting that poison out of his body.

Every member of the team called to check on him, and I refused their offers to come over. Reid didn't want them to see him like he was. What he was going through was a very private thing, and they didn't need to see it.

By the fifth day, I was getting scared. Reid was so weak and sore he couldn't barely move. I had to put a bucket next to the couch and hold his head for him while he continued to vomit up the small amounts of liquid I forced him to drink. When I held him, he was so much lighter than before, and that's what made me so afraid I was going to lose him. At one point, I held him on my lap while we both cried.

In a moment of desperation, I called Hotch again and told him my fears while barely keeping my tears at bay. My boss assured me that he was going through the worst of it and should improve in a couple of days. I prayed like hell he was right.

Finally, on the morning of the eighth day, Reid fell into an exhausted sleep. I thanked every God I could think of that he was resting. He really didn't sleep for the whole week, just drifted in and out of a daze. Hopefully, this was the end of his ordeal. His crying voice still echoed in my head from when he begged me to give him the drug he wanted so badly. He didn't even realize he threw all that shit out already. I just held him and cried with him again. It hurt so much.

Even though I was exhausted, I scrubbed every inch of Reid's apartment while he was sleeping. It had gotten pretty stale in there. When I was done, I called Hotch and asked him to go by my place and get me some fresh clothes.

When the knock came, I rushed to open the door so it wouldn't wake my boy.

"How is he?" Hotch asked as he handed me my go bag.

"Sleeping, finally, after a week," I answered, rubbing my stubbled cheek warily. "It was...bad." I opened the door a little wider so Hotch could see Reid sleeping on the couch, the blanket pulled up so much that only the top of his head could be seen.

"Damn," my boss commented. "Make sure when he wakes up that you give him plenty of liquids for a while. He'll need to be rehydrated."

"I will. Thanks...for everything."

With a curt nod, Hotch smiled briefly then walked away.

Closing the door and locking it again, I took my bag to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Keeping the door open so I could hear if Reid woke up, I didn't even wait for the water to get all the way hot before stepping in and washing quickly. When I was done, I brushed my teeth and shaved, then dressed in my clean clothes. I felt like a new man.

After making myself a sandwich and practically inhaling it, I went back to sit with Reid. Within minutes, I was out.

Movement against my thigh woke me from a sound sleep and, for a moment, I didn't know where I was. When I looked to my left and saw the sleepy eyes of my boyfriend peeking out from under the blanket, I remembered and let out a relieved sigh.

"Hey, sleepyhead," I smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Moving the blanket so I could see his pale, gaunt face, he croaked, "Water?"

"Oh, shit, yeah," I said, and scrambled up to get my boy a drink. When I got back, he had managed to prop up a little on his pillow. "Just take little sips, okay?" I asked.

Nodding, Reid took the glass from me and sipped his water then handed it back. I put it on the table and moved him carefully, so he was leaning against my side. It didn't matter that he needed a shower or that his hair was lank and greasy, I was just happy as hell he was alive.

"You stayed," he whispered.

"I did," I replied. "I told you I would."

"Everything's a...blur."

"You don't want to know," I told him. "You had me scared for a minute or two, pretty boy."

After a brief silence, Reid said, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be," I said, urging him to look at me. "What you went through this last week was the bravest thing I have ever seen anyone do." I touched his face. "I'm so proud of you."

Laying his head back against my chest, Reid sighed, "Thank you, Derek, for everything."

"Always." I combed my fingers through his hair and made a vow then and there to never let my boy live each day without knowing how much I loved him.

Thank you for reading.

Penny