A/N: Woo hoo! A Snape/Lily fic, FINALLY! Don't you all just love me to pieces? Anyway, it's not your normal SS/LE fic (if you'll even want to call it that), but you'll just have to read to find out why. Anything you recognize from Harry Potter belongs to JKR, that wonderful, horrible woman. You'll all live if this isn't HBP accurate, but I tried. Anyway, read, enjoy, and review!
The Best Feeling in the WorldI couldn't take it anymore. It couldn't end like this, it just couldn't! My life was so miserable and I was so hated...I just couldn't allow my seventh year at Hogwarts to end like this! Everything was always given to Potter, and now even she gave him something: herself. No, it couldn't end like this; I had to stop it from happening. And if I didn't stop it, then I didn't know if I'd kill myself or if I'd kill them. This was a violation of life completely. Surely no one could be made to suffer like this unless some kind of fate broke the rules?
I sneered as she leaned over the table to kiss that disgusting, hypocritical, ignorant...UGH! How could she kiss him like that? It was like kissing a dead toad, which had been decomposing for two days in a smelly bog. Yes, it was that bad. I sunk into my seat a little lower and hid my face behind the book I was reading. I couldn't concentrate as the vision of those two kissing popped into my mind. I sighed and looked at the clock above the classroom door. Charms class seemed to be droning on and on, and everyone seemed to be done with their tests. I wished Professor Tweak would just let us go. I had things to do.
After what seemed like an eternity of watching that beautiful red head kiss Mr. Bloody Big Head, the bell rang. I stood up and, having already packed my stuff, grabbed my bag. Brushing some of my black hair away from my face I started out of the classroom, thankful that was over. I was the first one out of the classroom and I took a deep breath, realizing what I had to do. This wasn't going to be easy.
It was only when Lily and Potter came out of the classroom and were halfway down the corridor that I found my courage again. "Evans!" I called, walking quickly in the direction of the two. Lily had turned around and was looking for the person who called out to her. "Lily!" I called out again, and her wonderful, emerald green eyes fixed upon my thin, fast-walking figure. I finally caught up to them and, ignoring Potter, said, "Evans, I want to talk to you." I glanced at Potter. "Er, alone, if you don't mind."
"Go on, James," she said to him and looked at me. "I'll only be a moment, right Severus?" I nodded curtly, annoyed with the tone that she had just acquired when I was around. It was like I was a small child who needed to be taught manners. Potter was a bad influence on her, I was certain. He probably told her terrible things about me in his free time. He made me sick...
"Let's go to an empty classroom," I suggested. For a second it looked like she was about to argue, but she just nodded, knowing that it wasn't a good idea to fight.
It didn't take us long to find a classroom that was unoccupied – there were tons around the castle, and I knew where most of them were. When we stepped inside and I closed the door, it became pitch black. I took out my wand and non-verbally sound proofed it. Then I muttered, "Lumos," and looked at her. She was really beautiful... Her red hair fell on her shoulders and curled at the ends. A few locks were hanging in her amazing green eyes that seemed to sparkle in the light my wand was giving out. Her lips were so tempting, even when she was giving me that small frown. She had always frowned at me like this until she knew what the subject was about, then her expression could change for the better or the worse, depending.
"Listen, Evans – er, Lily – I'm just kind of concerned about your going out with Potter," I said, wishing I could change the tone of my voice. It was a habit that I had gotten into and I couldn't break. My voice would forever be quiet and secretive. But this usually didn't bother her.
She looked surprised at me, and I could tell that she wasn't sure if she should be flattered that I was concerned for her or angry that I thought her judgment was bad. No matter what she thought she decided to keep calm for a bit. "What are you concerned about, Severus? I can take care of myself, you know," she said. I sighed.
"It's not that...It's just that Potter is going to change you for the worse. Maybe you don't notice, but you've been talking to people differently. Like me, for example... Do you realize that you haven't even tried to have a decent conversation with me for over a week?" I said, the hurt showing in my voice. I frowned at her and turned so that she wouldn't see that it pained me to say these things aloud. "Lily, you're the only one who even tries to be nice to me..."
The atmosphere became thick at that moment, and a silence hung over us. Neither of us moved for a bit, and I just stared at the shadowed walls in front of me. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore I turned around and looked at her. She was looking slightly guilty, but didn't show any signs of speaking. "Look, I just think you shouldn't go out with him." I could see that with that sentence I had made her mad.
"I don't want you telling me who I should and should not go out with! Don't you think I've thought this over? After all, we are talking about James Potter. He's the same guy I used to despise a few years ago. Don't you think I've had time to think about all the good and bad things?" I sighed and nodded.
"Yes, but what made you change your mind?" She opened her mouth to give me a quick answer, but she closed it when she realized she didn't know the answer. I hated that Lily looked so confused and miserable, but this was a wonderful chance. I took a step closer to her and put a hand on her arm. "Don't you want someone who isn't going to consider you just another trophy of theirs?" She looked up at me as if I were an alien and shook her head.
Lily took a step back, still shaking her head. "No..." she started, "No, I won't believe it. Severus, don't do this to yourself. You'll hate yourself for it. No, I'm staying with James. Just walk away now, please."
I wasn't exactly sure why she was begging me to leave, so I just shrugged it off and stepped close to her again, this time putting my hands around her arms, holding them gently. I could feel her slow breathing on my chest and neck and I took it in for a second. Then, bending my neck a little, I kissed her.
It was the most electrifying thing I had ever felt, and as I pulled away I knew that it was the best feeling in the world. I realized that my eyes had been halfway closed and I opened them to stare at Lily. She was shaking her head lamely, but she didn't speak. And then she stopped moving and looked up at me with that same pity in her eyes.
Without warning, she tore away from me and headed for the doors. Surprised, I swung around and grabbed her arm, gripping it tightly. "Let go of me!" she yelled. "Let go of me now, or I'll curse you!" With her free hand she took out her wand and pointed it at my hand. A shock that felt like a burn ran through my right arm and I let go quickly.
"No! Lily! No...!" I called as the door closed quickly behind her. I stood there for a moment, feeling numb. Finally I pulled my eyes from the door and looked at my arm, which was feeling quite normal now. I felt terrible, and I put the light in my wand out, letting the classroom turn pitch black again. I leaned against the wall and slid down it. My wand dropped to the floor with a small thud! but I didn't notice. She was right... I shouldn't have done it to myself... I did hate myself for it...
Not only did I hate myself, but I also hated Potter. I hated Potter with a loathing that was beyond anything I'd ever felt. If it was the last thing I did I'd kill him, and if Evans decided to stay with him through it all, I'd kill her too. But I would never forget that feeling. The feeling that was the best feeling in the world.
