I promised myself I wouldn't write a fix-it. I said to myself 'he had a beautiful death, I know it hurts but let it be!' But here I am, fixing it =/ It stemmed from an imagined conversation between Jack and Ianto, which blossomed into a what if? scenario that I just had to voice. So we find ourselves here. The Conversation went like this:
"But Jack, I see it sometimes, how much it breaks you"
"We're all broken somehow. Y'know I don't think there has been one person aboard the TARDIS who's life hasn't been changed...hurt. The Doctor himself, did I ever tell you he had a family once? Kids, home, the works" he smiled bitterly as Ianto gasped softly. "No, I suppose it never really came up, not sure I'm even supposed to know. Well he lost them in the Time War, the war that left him the last of his kind. The two greatest forces in the universe fighting, Daleks and Time Lords. He lost them, his family and his people, can you imagine that?"
"God Jack I-"
"Hey, it's not your fault, I didn't tell you. Couldn't tell you. But yes, he's touched every one of us, made us stronger. I wouldn't change that, who I am now because of him."
And then I went on the think of Jack meeting Amy and Rory, and all the deaths she's had to face and the series break/finale and then this little nugget just popped out!
So without further ado, the raw, unbeta'd tale.
Out there, among the glittering masses. Civilisations not even dreamed of, planets full of beauty and wonder and light. But also places of hurt, pain and anger. The planet he was born. The places he'd wanted to take him someday, the places he'd gone after...
Masses of wonderment and life, life even in the furthest reaches. And oh how he'd travelled those places-
Jack Harkness woke from the dream with a start. He'd been having them more and more recently, since he'd returned to Earth.
None of it made sense, he dreamt of these mystical places and they always felt so real, he always felt as if he were remembering some emotion when he thought of them. But how was that possible? How could he have travelled the stars when there were none to travel? How could any of this be? How could he be? Unable to sleep, he took the decision to brood on his mind's unconscious ramblings somewhere a little less claustrophobic.
20 minutes later he was standing on the roof of the millennium centre, watching the pitch dark skies of Cardiff. What was happening? Why did they keep happening? Each time the dreams were more and more vivid, each time they held more feelings, more stories that couldn't possibly have happened. Him travelling the stars, heading the Cardiff team, well surely that must have been vanity on his part, although he was beginning to have his doubts. Him being in love. No, that couldn't possibly be right, that's one thing that was sure to be imagined. He was never going to love again, besides how could he like this? How could he possibly have found someone who could put up with someone as insufferable as himself? He stayed there, attempting desperately to work out what these dreams meant, what was happening, until he couldn't put it off any longer, and he made his way down to the Plass, and the short walk it took to report for duty.
The day was filled with images of things he'd dreamt of, people he'd never even met. A tiny little Japanese woman, brilliantly smart and a whizz with technology, a snarky Londoner , foul tempered but a brilliant doctor, an overly compassionate welsh woman, all dark hair and gapped teeth, telling him he needed to be more human. And then there was, of course, him. The polite, cute Welshman, the man he seemed unalterably attracted to, the man he'd loved. Who were they? Why wouldn't they just leave him be?
Luckily for him the rift had decided to have a sleepy day, and Alex was in a surprisingly good mood, so there wasn't really any call for his full attention to anything. In fact, their boss had given them an extended lunch, he was in such a good mood. So Jack found himself once again drawn into his own mind, into the world of his dreams. He couldn't get the Welshman out of his head, the dark hair, stormy blue eyes, immaculate suits. Memory-like daydreams swirled around his head, landing on him from falling from a pterodactyl of all things, heavenly coffee, trust, anger, betrayal, forgiveness, pride, lust, comfort, and the trump card, the love. His face; happiness, embarrassment, sadness. Holding him in those last few seconds, the feelings, like his heart had been torn out. Watching the life drain from those amazing eyes. He felt like he wanted to cry. He knew about ghost pain, when someone went through something traumatic there would be times when they would feel that same trauma, long after the wounds had healed. He could still feel the manacles sometimes, biting deep into his wrists. That's what this must be like, could you get ghost pain from dreams?
His head was full of this strange, illusive man when it happened.
It felt like waking up. Like he was slowly regaining consciousness, becoming aware of his surroundings as if rousing from a daydream. He was back on Earth. He didn't know why he'd come back, the ship was passing and he felt like it was just something he'd had to do. So now he was wandering Cardiff, no idea where he was going, just wandering.
It was cold, he realised that pretty soon, he was cold outside and in. Why was he back here? Why was he back where the memories were? They hurt. Everyday he'd wake up, or regain consciousness rather, from wherever he'd passed out the night before. He drank pretty excessively, knowing it'd do him no harm whatsoever, but trying to numb the pain. Numb the numbness. He never forgot though, as much as he drank, he always remembered why, just like he'd promised.
He was so lost in his thoughts, his wallowing, that it took him a few minutes to recognise the familiar wheezing. He snapped his head to the source of the sound, as she materialised a few paces to his left. The TARDIS. She looked different from the last time, bluer. Then a man stepped out, he looked so young, standing there all gangly in his tweeds and braces. Even if he couldn't see the eyes, far too old for such a young face, he would've known who it was anyway. Only one man would parade around in a bowtie looking that confident.
"Doctor" he acknowledged, wincing at the dull undertone his voice had taken. Well it was fitting, he felt dead inside, why not sound it.
"Jack" the Doctor replied, his eyes looking so sad for a moment, before lighting a little. He opened the door to the TARDIS a little, leaning his head back. "Amy! Rory! Come meet an old friend" he called inside. A few minutes later, a tall red-head appeared, wearing a very short skirt, clasping the hand of the man she was towing. He was dressed more normally, and the look on his face, like he was the luckiest man alive. He'd known that look.
He fought back the tears, struggling to keep himself in check.
"So that's him?" the girl, Amy, asked the Doctor, he noted the Scottish accent.
"Yes it is, Ponds', meet Captain Jack Harkness. Now this man, he saved the world, how many times now? Well anyway, he's a friend, a very old friend" his eyes darkened again slightly.
"Doctor, shouldn't we? Y'know why we came...? the man, Rory, spoke.
"Yep, you'll like this one Jack" he smiled, his eyes sparkling, "See there was an incident, Pond here and a crack in a wall, well in the universe-"
"The the Pandorica, Doctor, and the stars" Amy chipped in.
"Yes, thank you Pond"
"And I was plastic" Rory added.
"Yes, thank you"
"Sorry" Rory said meekly, stepping back.
"Anyway, so the Pandorica opened, world ended, then TARDIS blew up and it reverted back-"
"Cardiff" Jack breathed, remembering the dreamlike state he'd woken up from. He felt sick, during whatever happened he'd forgotten Ianto. He'd promised and he'd forgotten.
"And we get to the interesting part. See, everything surrounding Amy when back to normal, I closed the crack, long story but the point is, everything when back. Amy."
"I remembered, the Doctor told me, 'remember what I told you when you were seven' and when things reverted it was my wedding day-"
"Our wedding day" Rory added.
"Yes, our wedding and the Doctor, he didn't exist, And then I remembered, I saw the diary and I remembered. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something very, very blue. And he came back, just like that in the middle of my reception, just materialised" she smiled happily, "And we remembered, me and Rory and he came back. And I tell you what, he cannot dance" at the last comment, she turned on him.
"Can too"
"Can not, you looked like a drunk giraffe"
"Well, anyway, that's not the point. The point is we went off, me and the Ponds', but good old TARDIS, she wanted to take us somewhere before she would let us fly off. And we met someone, someone incredibly special just wandering around London. Actually, Rory had to check for a concussion, totally dazed" his smile grew, his eyes sparkling madly. He leaned through the door once more, "You can come out now" he called.
The door swung open, that great blue door that had shown Jack so much, taken him so many places, and this time he felt like someone had just kicked him in the gut. For a minute all he could do was stare. Standing there in a pristine suit, his stormy blue eyes focused on him alone.
"Jack-" his voice wobbled dangerously, but it was still the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.
"Ianto!" he cried, running forwards to envelope him in a crushing hug. Ianto held him back just as forcefully. "Oh god Yan, I missed you" he sobbed. It was the millionth time he'd cried over Ianto Jones, his strange, sexy Welshman, but the first like this. He could feel Ianto sobbing too.
"Jack it was horrible. Worse than Canary Warf, there there was heat and fire and anger. There was just nothing, Jack, how can you do it? There was nothing-"
Jack just held his lover, looking to the Doctor over his shoulder. "How?"
"You remembered, Jack, just like Pond here, when the world reverted, she remembered me and voila. Obviously the universe wasn't ready to lose Mr Jones"
"Thank You" Ianto smiled, the tears subsiding, as he pulled back from Jack just enough to turn to the Doctor.
"For the person who made Jack Harkness settle? It was my pleasure"
Ianto turned back, and all they could do was stare, just stand there in each other arms, each lost in the other's eyes. And then they were kissing, neither knew which started it off, and neither cared.
Jack could hear the Doctor grumble something about it always being mouths with them, but he didn't care. All he could focus on was the feel of his lover, his amazing, gorgeous, patient Welshman. His Ianto. That's all there was, just the two of them kissing, and it was perfect. It wasn't about passion or lust or anything like that. It was about comfort, about reassuring themselves that they were really there.
They pulled back for air, which was when the Doctor took his cue to leave.
"Well, it's good to see you Jack, but I owe the Ponds here a honeymoon. It's been a pleasure Mr Jones" he smiled, as Ianto disentangled himself from Jack, keeping hold of his hand, and using the other to shake the Doctors hand.
"Ianto, please, and the pleasures all mine, honestly. Thank you" he replied sincerely."Goodbye Rory, Amy, it's been...an experience"
"Bye Ianto" Amy replied, hugging him. He hugged her back, gratefully.
Rory and Jack shared a look over the two, each recognising the two as belonging to the other. Jack then mouthed 'thank you' and Rory nodded. It was all they needed to say. When he parted from Amy, Ianto turned to Rory.
"Bye Ianto, look after him. He's a friend of the Doctors so I'm guessing he's some kind of universe saving person" Rory stumbled.
"You look after Amy, you're a lucky man Mr Williams" Ianto replied, hugging him briefly.
Then he turned to the Doctor. "Thank you Doctor, for everything"
"Anytime" he replied, then turning back to his companions, "Come along Pond 1 and Pond 2, we've a honeymoon to take you on" he ordered as he ushered them into the TARDIS. Turning back to Jack and Ianto, who were once again clasping each other's hand tightly, he smiled fondly. "Goodbye Jack, and look after him, and you Ianto, keep Jack out of trouble for me" he joked.
The two watched in companionable silence as the TARDIS dematerialised, taking its three occupants off on a journey to god-knows-where. Then they turned to one another once more.
Jack reached out, running his fingers down Ianto's jawline slowly, staring deep into his eyes. He dropped his hand silently back to the Welshman's waist, pulling him closer until they were pressed flush against each other, kissing deep and passionate. Jack though his heart would explode as his senses went into overdrive, Ianto was all there was, all that mattered. When they had to come up for air, they rested their foreheads together, breath mingling.
"I love you Ianto Jones, always have, always will" he whispered into his lovers ear, as he pulled him close once more "And I missed you so much"
"Oh Jack, I love you so much" he breathed. Then his brain sparked and he pulled back to look Jack in the eye, "You remembered me"
Jack chuckled dryly, and Ianto shivered as he felt it reverberate through his body. "I promised I would" he replied, "Besides, how could I forget you" and he pulled his Welshman into another heated, life affirming kiss.
If he thought about it later, he wouldn't remember whose idea it was to go to Ianto's flat, or how they got there. But at that moment, lying there in post-coital bliss as his body hummed pleasantly and his lover curled against him, tracing absent circles on his chest as he trailed kissed wherever he could reach, he didn't spare it a thought. He was the happiest he'd ever been, in the whole of his long, perilous existence. He was back, his Ianto had come back to him. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, Ianto wouldn't be able to sleep for a while, he knew how much the dark still scared him after all this time, and Jack wouldn't want to let Ianto go too far from him for a while, not yet, not when he'd just got him back. But he knew they'd get through it, because they were in love and that made it all worth it.
