To say that I wasn't beyond euphoric about it would be lying.
And newly appointed Head Girls do not lie.
I screamed so loudly that even Petunia came running. Granted, she left as soon as she saw the owl, muttering "freak…", but still. To know that she cared enough about me to at least come and see what I was shrieking about was slightly touching.
"Oh, Lily! This is so exciting, dear!" my mother gushed, pinning the badge that had arrived with my Hogwarts letter onto my sweater. I squealed and rubbed it with my sleeve to make it shine. "A Head Girl! In our family! Oh, my goodness…" she trailed off, sniffling happily.
My father sidled up next to me. "Er…remind me again. What's a Head Girl? Your head really isn't THAT big…"
I laughed as my mother muttered "Oh, really!"
"It's…it's like a super-prefect," I attempted lamely to explain. "You don't really have to be a prefect to get it, or Head Boy, but most people are. See, it's like-"
"Tell you what, Lily," my mother cut me off. "Why don't we go out to dinner tonight? Where would you like to go, sweetie?"
"Mum!" Petunia, who had evidently returned, snapped. "We can't take that freak out to dinner tonight, Vernon's coming! Remember?"
"Oh…oh, yes. Well, soon, then, Lily! We'll figure something out!" Mum replied at the same time that my lip curled up as I muttered, "Great…Vernon."
Petunia glanced at her watch and screeched like an owl—which is pretty ironic, considering that she now associates them with me and hates them. "Mum, he's going to be here soon and you haven't even started dinner!"
Looking puzzled, Mum looked at her watch. "Tuney, honestly, three hours is certainly enough time. Why don't you come help me, too? It would be lovely for you to know how to make this…"
I decided to make myself scarce in order to avoid being recruited to help cook, too. "I'll just go write to Alice, then!" I called as I booked it down the hallway and up the stairs to my room. I pulled out a piece of parchment, an old schoolbook, and a quill, and then sat down on my bed, my legs curled underneath me.
Alice,
My Hogwarts supply letter came today, would you want to meet up in Diagon Alley soon? Maybe we could spend a few nights in the Leaky Cauldron, get our supplies, have a last hurrah before school starts again! I'll send an owl to Emmeline, too, I'm sure we'd be able to make it happen!
Guess what else came with my Hogwarts letter? You get three guesses. Except not really, because I'm not waiting three owls to tell you. A Head Girl badge! Can you believe they picked me? I'm still in a little bit of shock…who do you think is Head Boy? Maybe Frank Longbottom? I guess we'll see!
France looked absolutely marvelous, I wish we could have gone somewhere! I had to stay here and listen to Tuney moan about her boyfriend, Vernon. She thinks he's dreamy; I think he looks like a sausage.
Let me know about Diagon Alley soon! We'll all have to meet up!
Love,
Lily
I wrote a similar letter to Emmeline and called my owl, Marshmallow, over.
"I've got a job for you! Can you take these to Emmeline and Alice?" I asked her as I tied them on her leg. She hooted happily and teetered a little bit on one leg. I took her to the window and let her fly off my arm, then leaned on the windowsill and watched as she blended in quickly with the clouds.
"Oy!" Petunia's voice shook me out of my reverie; I jumped away from the window and whipped around. Way to even care enough to use my name, Tuney.
"What is it?"
"Mum says we need your help in the kitchen. And wash your hands! I don't want any freak in Vernon's dinner," she snarled, her lip curled up. Before I could think of a good comeback—or, really, anything to say at all—she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room. I knew that if she'd had her way, she would have shooed me out of the house so that Vernon wouldn't even know I existed. Which I think I would have been fine with. I sighed and followed Petunia resignedly down the stairs.
After dinner that night, I was seriously about to throw up.
No, it wasn't because of my mom's cooking. Especially considering that I helped her. Anyway, her food is lovely on its own.
Vernon proposed.
Aren't guys supposed to be romantic about stuff like that? Aren't they supposed to reveal the ring by moonlight, where the only two people in sight are him and the girl he's about to propose to? Or in the pouring rain? At sunset?
Instead, he got down on one knee and looked up at Petunia—MY Petunia! The one who looks like a horse!—and professed his love. At our dinner table. In front of the entire family. I couldn't decide if I should be laughing or be sick. Tuney burst into tears and shrieked "Yes! Yes!" while I sat with my mouth wide open, staring at them. I closed it with a snap, trying not to look so shocked and disgusted.
"Well!" said Mum, awkwardly trying to avoid intrusion but also attempting to keep order at the table. "We have a wedding to plan, don't we?"
Petunia nodded ecstatically, sniffling and pulling Vernon up off his knee. He looked beefy enough to have been stuck down on the ground if she hadn't helped him; I wasn't sure what on Earth she could possibly have seen in him.
"May I be excused?" I popped up quickly, eyeing my father.
"Of course, sweetie," he replied, looking about as sick as I felt. I bolted from the table and up the stairs, back to the safety of my room.
In retrospect, it shouldn't have bothered me this much. Seeing Petunia being asked the life-changing question. But it really made me think; could I never do any better than that? Any better than someone who isn't courteous to me (because he isn't), or who doesn't even have the motivation to propose in somewhere more…well, more romantic, or thoughtful? If he, Vernon Dursley, the enormous talking sausage, was the best Petunia could do, did that say anything about me, and the best that I could do? After all, I had never had any serious (or Sirius) boyfriends at Hogwarts, and no one looked to be high in consideration just then—could that possibly mean that I might have settling for someone in my future?
I tried to tell myself to snap out of it. Tuney, my older sister, was happy. She was positively thrilled. So maybe I didn't like her fiancé. But she didn't define me anymore than I defined her. And for me to base my future off of what happened to her suddenly seemed childish. How could I be so selfish as to wonder how on Earth she loved him, and to think about what it meant for me? My role as a sister was to be happy for her. So I tried. I thought of the joy he brought her—which I couldn't understand—and how much joy he would bring her in the future. I thought about how, what with having a witch for a sister, maybe she was glad to have something go so normally. I made a promise to myself to be there, to be a sister, and to let this be her moment. I would be there. I would.
How could I have gone from feeling sick about the entire thing to centering it all onto myself? Several minutes ago, I was on the verge of throwing up or breaking a few ribs trying not to laugh. I pictured him on his knee again, with Tuney having to pull him up with all her strength, and the hilarity of it returned. I was glad to be able to sit on my bed and laugh loudly without bothering either of them; it was especially entertaining to think of him in a tux. Maybe this wedding wouldn't be too bad after all.
The next day, both Alice and Emmeline had replied via Marshmallow. They lived fairly close to each other, so they had apparently figured the best time for both of them to meet at the Leaky Cauldron to stay a few nights before school started again. I checked with Mum and Dad, and they said it was fine for me to spend the last few days there. I began to repack that day—a task that I certainly should have begun before then. I dumped out the debris from the bottom of my trunk, which consisted of everything from Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrappers to bits of parchment that with notes that I passed with Emmeline, then attempted to organize everything that I planned to bring with me. Eventually I got frustrated and thrust everything in, mashing it down so that it would all fit. Some of the essays that I had written over the summer had surely taken a turn for the worse, what with the crumpling of them to ensure that they would fit.
On the morning that I was to leave for Diagon Alley, I woke up bright and early and got dressed, then hurried down the stairs to grab a bite of toast. Petunia was already awake, which was a bit of a surprise, and she was looking through a wedding magazine with a huge mug of coffee next to her. I figured that she must be really into this Vernon bloke if she was willing to get up so early to plan the wedding, especially this far in advance. My parents both came downstairs while I was eating, so I knew that I could now bring down my trunk without waking up the whole house. I hurried back upstairs, coaxed Marshmallow into her cage, and lugged the trunk noisily down the stairs, propping it up by the door, then went back to get Marshmallow.
"Ready, Mum?"
"Yes, dear! I'll be right there." Mum combed a hand through her hair and straightened her shirt while I dashed over to kiss my dad and Petunia goodbye.
"Love you, Lils!" Dad said, hugging me. "Have a great year at school!"
"Bye, freak. See you at Christmas…or maybe not. Don't feel too obligated to come home."
I tried to smile. Hadn't I given myself a pep talk about being a good sister just recently? "Don't be silly, Tuney! Of course I'll be here for Christmas!"
"Alright, Lily! We'd best get going! Got everything?"
I nodded ecstatically and pulled my trunk out to the car. How we loaded it into the trunk of the car, I'll never know, but somehow, we did. The ride to the Leaky Cauldron seemed to last about forever and at the same time, about a second—it would be the last time that I would go before Hogwarts. I had to point it out to Mum, but she pulled over and we somehow took my trunk out again and put it next to Marshmallow on the pavement.
"Have a lovely year at school, Lily flower," my mother told me, wrapping me in a hug. "And remember to enjoy it! We'll write you as much as we can."
"Thanks Mum," I replied, pulling away. I realized that we both had tears in our eyes. "I love you."
"I love you, too, my little Head Girl," she sniffled, smiling. "Now go have fun! Tell Alice and Emmeline I said hello."
She loaded back into the car before either of us could burst into tears, and blew me a kiss before driving away. I pulled my trunk and carried Marshmallow into the Leaky Cauldron; as soon as I got inside, I figured that no Muggles would be around to see the magic that I could legally perform outside of school. I bewitched my trunk to be feather-light and carried it with me to Tom, the toothless barman.
"Hi! I'm going to need a room until September 1st, could that be arranged?"
"Absolutely, miss," he replied, leaning down to get me a key. "Room 4 is free. Follow me."
He showed me to my room, handed me the key, and bowed himself out, closing the door softly behind him. I let Marshmallow out of her cage and let her out of the window to fly, even if she probably wouldn't go hunting until later tonight. I pocketed the key to my room as well as my wand, schoolbook list, and the money my parents had given me. I decided to exchange it for wizarding money at Gringotts, then meet Emmeline and Alice at Flourish and Blotts.
I will say without a doubt that when I tapped the brick that let me into Diagon Alley, I felt extremely official. The gateway opened up, and I felt like I was home again as I looked around at the various shops, the many people. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I made my way to Gringotts, changing out my money for huge coins that had, six years ago, confused me beyond belief.
When I walked into Flourish and Blotts, equipped with my folded-and-unfolded booklist, I nearly had a heart attack from the tackling-hug from Alice. Then, at least, I could expect the elbow-in-the-ribs from Emmeline, accompanied with a very earnest, "Excuse me, miss. Have you seen Miss Lily Evans? Only we've been waiting for her for ages…"
I laughed and hugged Emmeline, too. "I've missed you both so much! And I'm only a few minutes late, honestly, Emmeline!"
"I've missed you too!" Alice trilled, tucking a piece of her dark hair behind her ear.
"I didn't." Emmeline pretended to interest herself in a very boring looking book. I giggled again.
"I love you, Emmeline!"
"I love me, too."
Alice, meanwhile, was consulting her booklist. "Let's see, we need Advanced Transfiguration, the Invisible Book of Invisibility-"
"You do, yes. But do Lily and I?" Emmeline interjected. "Nope! Because Divination is for stupid-heads."
Alice looked up at Emmeline, her eyebrows raised. "Okay, is that honestly the very best insult you could come up with?"
"No."
There was a slightly awkward silence. "So…have you all found any of the other books we need?"
"Er, yeah," Alice replied. "I think I saw The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Seven-isn't it weird that we're grade seven?-over there in the corner. Shall we go, then?"
I unfolded my list and looked down for other books as we strolled over to the books. Engrossed in my list, I accidentally bumped into someone. "Oh, sorry!" I called over my shoulder—and then I stopped dead in my tracks.
Any other person.
Heck, any of the other Marauders.
But no. I had to literally run into James Potter. Of all people.
"Well, that's quite alright, Miss Evans!" he replied in his annoyingly cheery voice, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Fancy seeing you here!"
I swore under my breath. "Yes, well, if you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I've got some things to do." I tried to duck out from under his arm, but my hair got caught in something on his shirt. "OUCH!"
Alice whipped around—how she could have missed the exchange up until now was beyond me—and hurried over to help untangle us. "Here, I'll get it!"
"Thanks," I muttered, trying to hide my burning face. I felt her yank my hair free. "What was it caught on?"
There was a very quick, but very meaningful silence from Alice. It really should have alerted me to the fact that something was not right.
Then James spoke up. "Oh, nothing. Just my new Head Boy badge."
Lie. It's a lie. I thought desperately before turning around to face him. It's Frank Longbottom, or Remus Lupin. It's NOT James Potter.
My eyes landed on the silver badge. My fears were confirmed. I wouldn't have been surprised if I died, right then and there.
