Disclaimer- I do NOT, But wish, own Degrassi. I do own a hair straightener, some dark eyeliner and Crodane...Which don't take my names!
A/N:Hey guys. It's Saph, back with more twisted fanfic's. lol. This one is probably gonna want you wanting more...Am I not right? Um...Basically I got this idea by watching a not so much chicflic...more of...well...arrRRGGHH! Okay I'll just tell you but it's Sooo not basing off of the movie...Just the setting. Okay, the Movie, Never mind...You'll have to guess. But if you read You're not Alone and are familliar with Crodane, that will be the main setting. Don't think I'm kidding..
..*Whispers* Alot happens at Crodane...HAHAH...ha...
Warnings for this story...uh...: Cutting, dark depression, anorexia, abuse...(Not just from people...to yourself 0_0A little bit of Sadism..(What were you expecting?) etc...YOU GET THE IDEA! NOW YOU KNOW WHY IT'S RATED T! A little but of OOC...Not so much AU.
AND IF YOU WERE TO LAZY TO READ THE WARNINGS...DON'T COME BITCHING TO ME! OKAY.
Now enjoy...Condone.
Chapter 1
The mid-September air sprung and hit me like...hard. The emeralds known as my eyes began to scan the whole entire area. All I saw was teens with weak smiles on their faces trying to have fun while they're at this godforbiddenplace. Other's were laying their heads on the isolated picnic tables and then there was...me. I was the one who noone really faced and if you did there would be a very large amount of crushial damage done. Loads. Sure I had this soft side for the newbies who had no intentions on meeting me but 'accidently' do. So I lay off easy by telling them simply to "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
I isolated myself from everyone. I made sure everyone knew I was the death obsessed Elijah Goldsworthy. Noone could save me. NOONE! Only my thoughts emptied me away from thoughs who wanted my attention. Who eventually got it by me screaming the shit out of them!
I opened up my blue, crappy note book and began scribbling down some of my thoughts into strange, erratic types of poems. it felt good getting this all out. It just...Did. I felt some type of pressence coming toward me. There was this strange...feeling like I knew exactly what was happening just about now. Brook (My Crodane stalker/bestfriend) Was nearing me. Like normal. This was her daily routine for us. She'd quietly pace over and expect me to just know. It occassionally got annoying. Occassionally.
"What?" I asked, still clearing my thoughts into my notebook. I heard a gulp from her throat sound and knew this was bad news.
When she didn't answer me right away I got the hint that this was an eye to eye kind of talk. Great! MY FAVORIT!
I patted the seat aside from me and waited for her to sit. Once she did I turned frantically toward her and eyed her up. Her scene blonde hair was pulled in a high pony and her make-up looked like it was caked on. I wanted to touch her so badly...But didn't. Ofcourse I didn't. We were infront alot of patients and it would just be awkward to...Besides, she's my bestfriend.
"I've been having thoughs...er...urges again." She gasped out. Great, she felt like cutting. This was just wonderful. If they send her in that ever so tiny room...Again I'll freak. She didn't deserve that. No one did.
"Brook..." I began. "...Have you been taking your medication?" There was no reply..Only the hushed sound of wind blowing freely in the air. This was to overwhelming. For the both of us.
"Brook, why aren't you taking it?"
"I feel better now-"
"BROOK!" I really wished that didn't sound like I screamed. It sounded cold and harsh...Really harsh. "Look I'm sorry for the out burst. Okay. It's just...I don't want to loose you. You're the closest thing I have to family here." Breathe. "Please...please go take your medication. Before they find out that you haven't." Brook nodded and proceeded with the plead.
When ever they'd give her, her medicine she'd hide it in the side of her mouth and pretend to swallow it with a cup of water. They'd never run prodecures on checking her mouth right after. That's why some of us could slide by here. They're idiots.
Here I was again. By myself in my dark world. Nothing gets better than this. Or I thought.
When everything once became silent and my thoughts remained civil, that's when she walked in. My eyes and mind couldn't focus. She was to irresistible. Way to irresistible.
Her cinnomin curls went beautifully with her innocent look she put on. Her clothes were so school-girlish and made me die inside of how badly I wanted...No...Needed her.
When she looked my way her blue oceanic eyes cascaded mine. They looked lost...sad. It made me die inside. Completly.
"Fuck..." I realized that since I was so into her resemblance that I ended up scribbling all over my notes that I had written down. This is why I hate girls. They mess with your head and expect you to just...drop everything. They drove my insanity away. Bit by bit.
I realized that the girl was walking my way and I began to panic. What was I supposed to do? RUN?
"Uh...hi." She greeted with a gesture of a wave. I said nothing. I didn't want a love interest. I was fine the way I was. I didn't need any of this.
So to calm my nerves I turned to a knew paige and began writing. What did she want? It's kind of awkward to be going around saying hi randomly don't you think? Geesh. She didn't belong here. She was to cheerful and happy. Totally under radar.
She sat down next to me and from the corner of my eye I could see her smiling. Her rosy cheeks blended with her ivry skin and I was just dying to look at her. SOOOBAD!
"I'm sorry to be a burden...It's just I'm new here and...trying to fit i-"
"In.." I finnished for her. "It's the same old same old. This is a mental institute. Okay. Theres no fiiting in here." What makes this even more dramatic was that I never once looked up from my notebook. Bonus for me.
She was growing nervous, I could tell. I was used to that. Everyone was nervous around me. Wasn't a big surprise.
"Good to know...I'm guessing you like black." God she was bad at stirring up conversations. This was .TIME! "Me? I love it. It really portrays my likeing of watching things shrivvel up and die."
Her right index finger intertwined in her curl and she sat in silence...Searching for the right words to say...Pricless.
"I'm Clare."
"Eli. Why aren't you leaving me alone?" My voice sounded bitter and crude. But I didn't care. I wanted to be left the hell alone. She shrugged and stood up. I felt bad about treating her this way. But...No..I couldn't get close. My secret(s) are to personal. TOO PERSONAL. They could ruin people. (They ruined my life.)
Clare wanted more of me. But I ignored her. Soon realizing I was left alone again.
...This was for her own good... Everyone's
(End of chapter 1)
A/N: Liked it. Hated it. Should continue. There will be rotating POV'S between Eli and Clare in each
ch. so...yeah... REVIEW!
