Naruto is the property of Kishimoto Misashi. I do not own any of the characters or places in this world.

"You can't catch me, cuz I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!" Naruto yelled as he jumped off the cliff. He landed on all fours like a fox, and ran to his favorite hiding place.

"Naruto!" Naruto's wall camouflage somehow wilted.

"Iruka Sensei? Heh, heh, funny seeing you here. Might I add that you're looking awfully handsome today," Naruto cringed as the words left his mouth. That wasn't as creepy as it sounded in my head, right?

Iruka frowned. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He closed his mouth.

"I uh … I take it back, you're not looking handsome today. Believe it!" But that's just insulting. What would father do in this situation. "As son of the Hokage, I order you to make this not awkward!"

"You're the son of the hokage?" Iruka frowned. "Then why would you make such a mess on his face?" Iruka cringed.

Naruto opened his mouth. No words came out. He closed his mouth.

"Naruto, as your teacher I order you to make this less awkward!"

"Why don't you take me out for ramen?"

"Alright, it's on me."

"Naruto, you know who the Hokage are right?"

"No idea." Iruka looked at Naruto flatly. "I'm serious teach. Tell me 'bout 'em. I'm just the son of a foreigner ya' know? These kinds of things go over my head. You've seen my grades."

"What are you talking about Naruto? Your grades are fine."

Naruto scowled. What do grades have to do with anything? He thought as he folded his arms and began to pout. I could get bad grades if I wanted to.

"Does this have to with what you said earlier? About your father being Hokage."

"Shut up," Naruto whispered. "I like you Iruka Sensei. I think of you as the father I never had." He looked around mischievously. Hopefully, some member of Anbu had overheard. "That's why it's very important that you drop this subject, and never talk about it again."

"Right," Iruka nodded, "I think I'm starting to get a good picture of what's going on."

"Naruto," a voice screamed from the distance, "I'd better not find that you've snuck out to eat ramen again. It ain't healthy for ya! Believe it!"

"Shit!" Naruto exclaimed, as he got out of his seat, and began to hightail it through town. "See ya teach!"

"Who woulda thunk it?" Iruka said to himself, as he shook his head. "The Hokage and The Tomato, together?" He laughed to himself. Only anybody with a set of eyes.

"Why doesn't Naruto ever get in trouble?" Kiba asked. "If I'd done that shit, I'da had to scrub the shit out of those fucking stupid head statue things. I bet it's nepotism."

Iruka nodded, "That's not why Kiba. I don't know what you mean by that. Coincidentally you'll all have to be doing the clone jutsu as punishment … as a coincidence," Iruka finished with a smirk.

The classroom groaned.

"Thanks a lot Naruto," said the crowd.

"Ah shaddup!" Naruto responded. "If you were me you'd do the same thing."

Half the class sighed, Naruto had a point. The other half, the half that weren't secretly jackasses, just shook their heads. The golden boy got away with everything, and there was nothing they could do about it.

After the class was finished demonstrating their clone techniques, Naruto was busy proving that he wasn't untouchable, thus making the rest of the class hate him less.

"Iruka Sensei, please, I'm begging you: don't tell my momma 'bout this! You have no idea the asskicking you're setting me up for!"

Iruka was unmoved. "Naruto, it's time you learned about consequences."

"Please Iruka, I really uh … I thought that was how you looked. Believe it!"

A blood vessel popped in Iruka's forehead.

"Iruka Sensei, are you alright? Ya look constipated."

"Enough!" Iruka shouted. "Naruto shut up. I'm not going to change my mind. Until you learn that, that filth is inappropriate for the classroom … That is not a viable technique!"

"It certainly isn't," said The Tomato.

Naruto gulped, even Iruka looked a bit nervous.

"I uh … Missus Uzumaki, I uh … Your son made a mistake. Please spare him. It's something that boys his age go through."

The Tomato didn't look convinced at all. Naruto sighed, his fate had been sealed when Iruka had told his mom. He was fucked.

"You did this," he mouthed silently to Iruka, as Kushina stomped in front of him.

"Naruto!"

"Yes Ma'am."

"What have I told you about the Sexy no Jutsu?"

"Not to use it in public," he sighed.

"That's right, a good ninja never shows an incomplete jutsu to the public."

"But it was complete," Naruto argued foolishly. "It had Iruka completely incapacitated!"

Kushina sighed. "Embarrassing Mom no Jutsu," she shouted as her clothes seemingly vanished. Both Naruto and Iruka were down for the count. "That's a finished technique."

It would take Naruto years to recover from the mental trauma he received that day.

Meanwhile in Suna

"You're killing ends today, monster!" Sasuke had seen the red haired boy kill and kill and kill. He was risking his life, but his oldest brother had always told him that ninja's were for the people. That forgetting that was what had doomed his clan. Sasuke was a hero of justice, and the blood that the red haired boy spilt may as well have been Sasuke's own parents.

"Mother is telling me to kill you."

"..." Sasuke gulped. Why does he have to be so creepy? But the boy quickly got over his fear, and began a sprint towards the ginger. A pillar of sand rose up high above Sasuke, who quickly side stepped it, and continued his charge. A tentacle wrapped around Sasuke's ankle, and Sasuke was forced to grind to a halt. Running would only trip him now. Falling meant death. He grabbed a kunai from his shorts, slashed the tentacle apart, jumped back a few paces, eyed the red haired boy, and jumped back a few more paces. Out of the opponent's reach.

"I recognize you," The Redhead growled. "You're the one that's been following me! Watching, always watching! Well that ends tonight! Tonight you die!"

Well that ain't good, thought Sasuke. He realized he'd been a fool. This boy was out of his league. But he didn't plan on dying today. Perhaps a good conversation was in order. He held up a hand. The Redhead stopped. I can't believe that worked!

"Listen ..."

"Gaara."

"Listen Gaara, do ya wanna know the difference between you and me?" Talking like Naruto should help. Nobody could diffuse a situation like him.

"I am alive and you will be dead."

"Well apart from that." Now I just have to think of something.

"No. No more talking, now you die."

Sasuke held up his hand again. Amazingly, Gaara stopped. Why does this keep working?

"Ya see buddy-"

"I'm not your buddy, I'm your murderer," Gaara growled.

"Ya see friend," Sasuke started again, "Killing people is mostly looked down upon. Killing a killer however is not. Ya know what that means?"

"It means that I'm gonna kill you!"

Sasuke shook his head. "It means that while you have to be stealthy, I can be as flashy as I want." Then he jumped and blew a fireball at the Redhead. Ninjas came like flies.

But not before a tentacle wrapped around Sasuke's right arm.

"Sand coffin!"

And all Sasuke knew was pain. A demon looked down on him. "Shinobis are coming. But they won't be here fast enough! You die!"

Sasuke stared into his killer's eyes.

"Don't look at me!"

Sasuke stared.

"Don't look at me with those eyes! Mother hates those eyes! Don't look at me!" The Redhead stumbled backwards. "Stop it!" Gaara's eyes were darting back and forth, and he began to run. Away.

Sasuke sighed in relief. Hopefully a medical ninja got to him before he bled out.

"Quite the riot you've caused little bro," said Shisui in amusement. "Looks like we're gonna have to hightail it outta here, huh?"

Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, as an Uchiha, you can't go chasing Jinchuriki like that. It looks very bad."

"I was just ... I was just trying to do some good."

"You have to think before you act," Itachi lectured. "Do you know the difference between a good shinobi and a bad shinobi?"

"A good shinobi lives," Sasuke sighed. "Not that it matters to me. I'll never be a good shinobi now."

"Just live," Itachi cried, hugging his precious little brother. "All that matters is that you live."

As Sasuke hugged his brother, he brought his right arm up to eye level. I may not be able to do ninjutsu, Sasuke thought as he stared at the stump, but I will still have my revenge. I will still create justice. I will still kill the Fourth Hokage!