Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA, unbetaed, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness...
Notes: This is a random idea or better a random series of ideas that had been haunting me... and that I really like to develop...
Warning over notes: This fic has notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. However I suggest you to read the notes AFTER you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" & "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Summary: AU Version of the Rainbow Bridge incident...
"It might be just a glass cup but, if it's your favourite one, you won't take it well when it break..."
"And I'd give up forever to touch you And all I can taste is this moment And I don't want the world to see me And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive."
(Goo Goo Dolls - "Iris")
'Even if you don't use your Maboroshi, I have long been bound by Sakura. Since that day...'
'The Chi no Ryu's Kamui had said that your wish can only be made true by me... However... It seems... that it's different from what I thought. Don't you wish to kill me?'
'That's not true...'
It was time for the last spell.
It was time for the last attack.
The wheels of destiny were turning as the clock was ticking by but the world was frozen in time for the two fighters.
Only them existed. No one else. Only one of them would survive.
The bandages that had covered the injured eye of the younger of the two and had fluttered in the older one's hand like the red thread of destiny that had connected them by so many years were released into the wind, and flied free between them, in a place in which they would have no hope to survive to the incoming attacks, a symbol of what would happen at the odd relationship between the two men.(2)
They didn't care.
When the two Onmyouji started murmuring their last spell each of them was confident to know which would be the result of that final attack, who would be the one who would walk away from the battle ground, and each of them was longing for that moment, had longed for that moment by so long they've lost count of time.
However... only one was right.
The bridge over which the two of them had been standing shattered under the power of their attacks and, with it, fell the Kekkai that the Ten no Ryu had raised to protect it, returning the two opponents into the real world.
The real bridge, still untouched, appeared under them, covered by clouds of dust and mist as a young voice screamed a name again and again, in a rising tone that was getting closer to hysteric.
He didn't care thought. He was still, the weight of his opponent sagging against him, his adversary's hand, made weak by a mortal wound, gripping his coat as the blood was spilling on the street and, with it, the life of the only person who could have fulfilled his Wish. His wide eyes stared numbly at what was in front of him, not daring to look at the dying figure, refusing to accept that the arm that went through the other chest was his own. He was shaken out of it when the other lost his strength and started slipping down. Out of reflex he moved to grasp the falling body, to sustain it, to take it closer to himself.
No, that couldn't have happened, that wasn't what he had Wished for...
Speechless for once, he could only stare as the dark haired head of the one that he knew so well or maybe not at all and that he had just wounded to death raised to look at him. Mismatched eyes met mismatched eyes for a second, staring at each other in silent communication.
"...What happened...?" he asked weakly, staring numbly at the other. Was that some sort of dream? A nightmare? Would he wake up soon from it? "Your sister's last spell... the one she completed with her life... it should have prevented this..."
He could still see Hokuto-chan as she murmured it, short before he killed her. He could still see her serious face, the white Shikifuku that belonged to Subaru-kun being stained with her blood, the spell becoming active with her last parting breath.
"She said that should I ever use the same method that I used to kill her against you it would return to me in full... so why hadn't it worked?" he asked to his victim, victim that was currently giving him one of those soft smiles that had graced his lips so often when he had been younger and that, before that moment, had seemed forever forgotten after Hokuto-chan's death.
"You... killed Hokuto... and vanished from before my eyes... I... wanted to kill you... I... from the bottom of my heart... wanted to wipe away the you in my heart... to continue living... but... I couldn't do it... Even if you see me... as a stone... even if you could step on me like on withered twigs... without any feeling... Even then... I still... wanted to be killed by you. Even then... I wanted you to live... Even if you would immediately forget about me... even if I am only one of your many victims... at least... you would have..." Subaru didn't finish his sentence. It pained him too much to reveal his foolish hope. "I... I guessed what Hokuto-chan did... I... nullified her spell... I..." He tried, he tried with all his strength to raise himself, to whisper what had always been in his heart to the man who owned it, to tell him what he had wanted to tell him so many years ago when he had thought he would enter in a hospital room and instead had found himself in a Maboroshi and in the beginning of a nightmare. "Seishiro-san, I... you..."(3)
He tried.
He failed.
Life left him and so did strength before he could murmur that last important word to a man whom, he knew, wouldn't have cared at all for it. His body slumped again in the older man's embrace under the shocked eyes of the ones who had witnessed his parting moments. Seishiro stared numbly at the still figure of the youth. That wasn't what was supposed to happen. That wasn't his Wish. Subaru-kun couldn't be dead. He was supposed to hate him, to murder him, to take his place as Sakurazukamori, to...
'That Ten no Ryu wished to lose his right eye... as you. However, his real Wish... is something only you can grant. His "Real Wish" is not what you think it is.'(4)
Kamui had warned him. The Chi no Ryu's Kamui had warned him, he had told him that Subaru-kun wasn't wishing for his death but he hadn't wanted to listen. He'd been too stubborn to listen, too confident that Subaru-kun's wishes didn't really matter in the end, that in a way or in another he would have been the one who would get his Wish fulfilled, that he would be able to manipulate Subaru-kun in fulfilling it as he had manipulated him many times when he had been younger. The nice, caring, Subaru-kun who never knew how to say 'no'...
He had undervalued Subaru-kun's stubbornness, his determination in obtaining what he wanted, in doing things his way. He should have remembered that Subaru-kun was easy to control only because he was willing to be controlled, that, when he decided so, he was perfectly capable to rule his own life and to do as he saw fit. He had forgot it, forgot it because Subaru-kun only did it when it was about work, never with him.(5)
And now...
Now his carelessness had got the boy killed. Now Subaru-kun was laying still in his arms, lips still set in a pained smile, sad, too expressive eyes forever close by Death's hands. His hands. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun.Subaru-kunSubarukunsubarukunSUBARUKUN!
Wordlessly he gripped the boy, holding him tightly against his chest, so tightly it would have probably hurt him had he been alive but he wasn't and so, and so... and so...
A female voice screamed confused words about a bridge. Loud cracking noises were heard around them, while the street under them trembled, but he was oblivious of all this. The only one who had managed to mean something for him, the only one who had managed to find him, to see him, the only one who had cared for him, the only one that had loved him, the only one from whom he wanted to be killed was dead in his arms.
He had murdered him in cold blood, he had finally managed to murder the only one he had never been able to murder and he hadn't wanted it, hadn't wanted any of it, he had never wanted to close forever Subaru-kun's beautiful green eyes, he had never meant to lose him, his only pleasure, his only playmate, his only opponent. He had never meant to lose his twin star, his opposite, the one who gave meaning to his life and filled it with the promise of fulfilment. No, he had never meant to lose Subaru-kun but he knew that it had no importance as he hugged for the last time that too slim body.
More shattering sounds and the bridge started falling in big chunks, his pieces being swallowed by the cold, silent water. Light circled the zone as another of Tokyo's Kekkai was destroyed and a dragon-shaped lightning reached up towards the sky making a sound that resembled so much a desperate scream. The rest of the city trembled under the new earthquake and felt the hit of high waves of water then... silence fell again, interrupted only by the screams of the injured ones and the sirens of the ambulances.
As the YumeMi had seen in their dreams a Dragon had fallen but his opposite star had fallen as well.(6) The future had already been decided, they told themselves, believing it a justification good enough for allowing that tragedy to unfold. Or maybe they weren't searching for justifications, just for a way to fulfil their Wish no matter how this could cost.
JJ's Notes:
1. This dialogue comes from 'X' Vol. 16
2. In the manga when Subaru's bandages flies toward Seishiro he grasps them and then releases them. This time they fly between the two of them.
3. Probably everyone knows this however in 'Tokyo Babylon' Vol. 6 after Seishiro had lost his eye, Subaru realizes he loves him but when he enters in Seishiro's hospital room (hopefully to tell him that) he finds himself in Seishiro's Maboroshi. When Subaru, due to his grandmother's intervention, gets out of the Maboroshi is last words are 'Sei... shi... ro... -san... I really loved you...'
4. Fuma or if you prefer the Chi no Ryu's Kamui from 'X' Vol. 12
5. In 'Tokyo Babylon' Vol. 3 Hokuto didn't want Subaru to work because he's ill. However Subaru didn't listen her and she's the one who've to give up. Also always in 'Tokyo Babylon' Subaru was stubbornly studying to become a zookeeper even if his work was keeping him pretty busy. In 'X' instead Subaru just pursues his Wish not allowing anyone to stop him. There's enough to call him stubborn and determinate when he wants to. However in 'Tokyo Babylon' Subaru often lets others choose for him when it doesn't regard important matters.
6. I'm assuming Kakyou and Hinoto didn't exactly see what was supposed to happen only symbols of it in the same way Kakyou explained Kotori that when he sees Kamui, sees him as a cross. If they merely saw symbols of what was going to happen this could have been another interpretation of their dreams.
JJ's Extra Notes:
My two cents are: Seishiro had it coming, big time. No one breaks the heart of one of JJ's fave chara and walk away unarmed, not even if he too is one of JJ's fave chara.
Okay, set JJ's personal feelings aside let's move on the plot. I know it might be a bit confusing because I've almost never mentioned who is who however who read the manga should understand who are the characters anyway.
In the beginning I didn't want to mention Seishiro and Subaru's names because in a fashion, they are the same. Both have the same goal, being killed by the other. They get back their 'identity' after the drama had unfold. There are also two other characters who are present but their name is never said, the Ten no Ryu's Kamui who was the one screaming a name hysterically (of course it was Subaru's name) and Arashi, who's the one who tells the bridge is falling. Their names aren't said simply because even if they are there nor Seishiro or Subaru cares about their presence (for who didn't read the manga: Sorata and Yuzuriha weren't there in the manga only Kamui and Arashi).
Last let's talk about the YumeMi. They're always rambling about foreordained destiny but none of them ever do something to change it (okay, except for the time Kakyou escaped from his prison in attempt to warn Hokuto). They always hide information and, at best, give cryptic messages that really don't help. There's to say that both Hinoto and Kakyou have a Wish and I assume that in order to fulfil it they are willing to sacrifice everything. Hinoto hid facts to Kamui (Kotori's death, Fuma being his twin star), Kakyou hid facts to Kamui as well (what's supposed to mean that the ShinKen can awake Fuma but also cause a tragedy? Can't he be more explicit? Okay, it would ruin the suspense in the manga but I'm sure Kamui would appreciate it) and do not lift a finger to save Seishiro even if he knew very well that Hokuto didn't want his death. One might say he did so in order to save Subaru but I don't think Subaru had appreciated it and besides he could have found a way to save both.
Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Kekkai: Shield
Maboroshi: Illusion
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyouji: "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakura: Cherry Tree
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill. Sakurazuka Seishiro's title
Shikifuku: Ceremonial Robe
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven
YumeMi: "Dreamgazer". Who can see the future in dreams
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