A/C: Sorry, the air conditioning is broken.

Notes: I will not give a disclaimer, in hopes of getting sued. That's right I won't say anything close to 'I don't own Naruto; all characters and copywrites belong to their respective owners; any relation to a person, either living or dead, is purely coincidental. Actually, we planned it all, haha!' That's right, nothing like that... wait... darn...

More Notes: The following aren't true, but they sounded good: This is my first fanfic ever! I suck at writing! You must leave a review! Now! Before even reading the story! Gogogo! Zerg rush! kekekekeke

Even More Notes: By the time I finish with the notes, half of the word count will be over with. I tricked you all! Hahahaha! Now, for the title again, and the chapter number.

----------

A Day in the (Married) Life

Chapter 1

Naruto woke up in the freezing cold. 'Gah, did Sakura throw me outside in the middle of the night?' he thought.

"Hey, did you throw me outside in the middle of the night?" he asked her.

"You were snoring too loud again."

"Ah, come on! I can't help it if my nose wants to talk to you!"

"Talk?! Your nose fricken yells!"

"Hmph! You don't see me complaining about your gross meatloaf!"

"Hey! I spent years perfecting that dish with Tsunade-sama! Take it back!"

"No!"

The couple turned their backs to each other for a few seconds before looking over their shoulders. When the glances met, they both stuck out their tongues in unison and looked the other way once again.

Thus was the married life, filled with love. Every day began this way, but not every day ended as such. After finishing with their morning bickering, the two lovebirds sat down to eat.

"So..." began Sakura, "what would you like for breakfast?"

"How about some ramen?"

"You always want ramen. We can have noodles for lunch. Have some eggs."

"Grr, alright. After I become Hokage, I'll learn to cook, and then be the world's greatest ramen maker!"

"In your dreams."

After the eggs, Naruto had four strips of bacon, seventeen pieces of toast, and fourty-two hash browns. Although this behavior of eating worked in Naruto's younger days, being in his late twenties started adding a bit of bulk to his belly. He was rather fond of it, and even named it Hara-chan. After feeding his friend, Naruto and Sakura went out to see what the day's mission was.

"Today you must take pictures for the Konoha picture directory we're starting," said Tsunade.

"But! But! But that's such an easy job!" exclaimed Naruto.

"Quiet! It's not easy. It takes a true artist to do photos. A future Hokage must be well-rounded, wouldn't you say?"

"Argh, she always says that..." Naruto mumbled. "Fine, fine, I'll take the stupid pictures. Let's go, Sakura."

They walked out and found their way to the picture arena. It looked like a standard picture arena, with the umbrella-lights and blue cloud backdrops. Naruto and Sakura signed in as photographers and went to their respective booth next to Ino and Sasuke's. Their first client was Shikamaru and his dad. Although Sakura tried to get Shikamaru to smile, he never would. He kept mumbling about pictures being pointless. After them came Konohamaru and his girlfriend. They got in close for the picture.

"Aw, they're so cute! Reminds me of when we were dating," noted Sakura, and gave Naruto a little kiss on the cheek.

After they were done, Tsunade and Jiraiya were up. Jiraiya scooted up towards Tsunade the way Konohamaru did, and Tsunade bonked him on the head.

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm trying to hug you, dear."

"But why?"

"Because we're married. You never were good at gambling..."

After they were through with their pictures, in walked Sarutobi for his shot. 'Wait a second... Old Man Hokage died. And what's with that huge sword he's carrying?! It can't be...' thought Naruto.

"Oh yes it can!" The Third threw off his disguise to reveal his true identity. "It is I! Zabuza's twin brother -- Buzaza!"

Jiraiya heard and came running in. "It can't be!"

"I already said it can! Stop arguing, it is me!"

Buzaza charged Jiraiya, but Gamabunta the frog boss protected him and lashed out at the attacker. Buzaza narrowly jumped out of the way and stood ready for real fighting.

"Hey Old Man!" yelled Naruto, "Why don't you let us young people have a chance? Let's go, Sakura!"

Naruto used his signature kage bunshin no jutsu, perfected over the years of use, and transformed into roughly seventeen thousand Narutos. He would have instantly won the fight, except for the fact than Sakura entered the battle and her uselessness wore off on him, and he was forced to work extra hard in order to survive. As all this was going on, Buzaza slashed through most of the shadow clones, leaving only a few left.

"Well, that idea was slashed..." Naruto murmured. "In that case, try this on for size!"

Naruto tried out his other favorite move, the Rasengan. As Buzaza was charged, he put up his sword in defense. The Rasengan cut through the sword, leaving a circular hole, but not causing enough damage to excite Naruto. His only other option was to attempt some moves Thick Brows taught him years beforehand. He had never mastered them, but they were all he had in order to even get close to winning. He let out a devastating combination that only one with the spirit of the Nine-Tails could do. Buzaza was sent flying in all directions. But went they reached the ground, Buzaza looked like he hadn't even taken one hit. Naruto growled in anger and rushed his enemy with all that he had left. Buzaza leaned out of the way.

But Jiraiya had been ready all along, and as Buzaza leaned into him, Jiraiya took out his finger and flicked Buzaza. Buzaza instantly collapsed and Jiraiya told Gamabunta to take him far away, never to bother the city again.

"Ah, man, why do you always have to take the credit, Jiraiya?" whined Naruto.

"You couldn't have done it without me."

"Sure I could've. I was ahead the entire time. Besides, I was the one who damaged him the most, it just didn't look like it."

Sakura chimed in. "I'm sorry guys. I couldn't help at all. I'm completely useless..."

"You got that right!" exclaimed Naruto. "Err... I mean, of course you're not. Besides, you're not useless at night..."

Sakura blushed. "Honey! There's another person here!"

"I know. But I want the whole world to know!" Naruto chuckled. "Hey, all that fighting made me hungry. What do you say we all go out for ramen?"

Jiraiya, Sakura, and Naruto all left the photo place to go to the local ramen shop and eat. Naruto gave Hara-chan the biggest feast it had had in years, and he was so stuffed afterwards that all he could do was wobble. They talked and had a merry time until it got dark, and then they parted their separate ways back to home. That night, Sakura showed Naruto just how useful she could be.

As the moon came into view, Naruto looked over at his beautiful wife and thought to himself, 'Even if I don't make Hokage, I'm fine the way things are now.'