DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters used. I do not own LOST.
Everyone else in the camp was filled with excitement and joy as they waited for the arrival of the freighter that promised rescue. Claire, however, was not happy. She couldn't bring herself to smile unless she knew that Charlie was safe. It shouldn't take this long to swim back, especially since it had been hours since the signal had become unblocked. Aaron wasn't helping her frustration at all. He had been wailing ever since the call had come in on Naomi's phone that there was a boat coming for them. The call had said that the boat would come first, with food, and later helicopters would arrive to take them all home. It felt so surreal, but like the other survivors, Claire decided to head to her tent to pack a few things to take home with her. She didn't require much, just a few nappies for Aaron, and a change of clothes. She contemplated packing some of Charlie's things too, but decided against it. He would be back soon, and she imagined him getting angry with her for moving his guitar. But of course Charlie wouldn't be upset at all, he'd probably crack some joke about the whole situation. That was one of the many things that Claire loved about him. As she zipped up her pack, she heard her infant son scream from his cradle. Claire sighed as she walked over to pick him up, and as she did, she noticed something that she hadn't seen before. A thick silver ring with a big 'DS' on it was lying on the blanket. Charlie's. In the three months that she'd known him, he'd never taken it off. Not once. If it was here, in Aaron's crib, it wasn't by accident. Claire got a sinking feeling in her stomach looking at it. She slid the ring onto her thumb, and pressed on it so it would stay. Then she scooped up Aaron and walked toward the water where she saw someone in a small boat. It was definitely too small to be the freighter, but there was clearly only one person on board.
Desmond jumped out of the boat with a few feet left, and walked the rest of the way. He was instantly surrounded by everyone slapping him on the back and yelling their thanks. Claire wasn't interested in that.
"Where's Charlie?" she called out, her voice thick with hope.
"Claire..." Desmond didn't need to finish his sentence. She knew what he would say. Sadness fell over the group that was filled with overwhelming happiness moments ago.
"It's okay. Charlie is fine, he promised me that he would be okay." Claire said decisively, as if nothing could go wrong.
"Claire, I saw him...he..." She didn't wait for him to finish, she didn't want to hear it.
"He said he would be fine." Claire turned around and went back up to her tent to finish packing. She looked around, deciding which of Charlie's things to take with her. His guitar case was still propped up against the makeshift bed, his backpack was on the ground, and his trademark hoodie was draped over it. A corner of his notebook which he kept the songs he had written was sticking out. She couldn't help hoping that a song or two was written about her.
"Claire?" Claire turned around to see Sun and Kate standing in the entrance to her tent.
"What?" Claire asked. "Charlie is fine. I know it."
"I'm sorry, but I really don't think he is," Kate said quietly.
"Desmond said that he knew, and he was brave. He said that Charlie was a hero." Sun continued. Claire suddenly grew angry.
"You're all bloody liars! Just get away from me!"
"Claire-"
"Just go!" The words echoed in her head, and she heard herself saying the exact same thing to Charlie just days ago.
"I thought you were here for me, that I could count on you!" She had screamed. "But I was wrong."
"No, Claire!"
"No, I'm on my own, and at least I know that now."
"Claire!"
"Just go!"
She wasn't able to see how wrong she was until he was gone. "I just need to be alone right now okay?"
"Right, okay." Kate said and she and Sun walked away.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Claire didn't sleep that night. Aaron continued to be fussy all through the day, and finally fell asleep late at night. Claire was holding him, he hated to be in his cradle now, and sitting on the beach as the sun came up. The waves were gently lapping up against her ankles, the wet sand finding its way between her toes. She barely turned her head when she heard someone sit down next to her.
"Good morning." Claire didn't respond. She kept her eyes on the water hoping, praying, that she would see Charlie swimming up to tell her this was all some sort of misunderstanding. Next to her, Jack didn't push her to talk, he just sat with her for a few minutes.
"You don't need to stay here," She said.
"Actually, I just wanted to let you know that we're having a memorial service. I wanted to know if you would say something?" Claire remembered how Sayid had spoken at both Shannon's and Boone's funerals, and Hurley had spoken at Libby's, and even at Nikki and Paulo's. Someone should talk at Charlie's too, but no one on the island knew him like she did. They probably still saw the drug addict that had taken Aaron right out of his crib in the middle of the night, but Claire saw past that to what a wonderful person he truly was. But she couldn't speak. How could she? She wanted someone to say something but she didn't want to, at the same time, she really didn't want anyone else to say anything.
"I don't think I can," Claire said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Jack said politely. "I'll ask Hurley." Claire glanced down the beach to the little cemetery where seven people lay buried already. Hurley was sitting with his head bent down in front of them, and a little ways away, she saw Sayid constructing a cross, undoubtedly for Charlie. She pressed the ring into her palm, and then stood up and headed back for her tent.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When the sun had fully risen, people began gathering by the graves for Charlie's memorial service. Claire watched from her tent, but did not join them.
"Are you coming, Claire?" Claire turned around in surprise to see Sayid standing there. They had never spoken much, so he was one of the last people she expected to try to talk to her now.
"No, I don't think so," She half hoped he would just leave, but half hoped that he would stay with her. He stayed, at least for another moment. "How did you get through it Sayid? With Shannon?"
"I didn't," Sayid responded after a short pause. "I miss her every day." Claire nodded. She understood perfectly, and now all she wanted to do was be by herself and cry. She wanted to cry for all the fights that she and Charlie had, and the fact that she would never get to apologize. She wanted to cry for the times when she was scared or upset and Charlie had made her feel safe, even in this horrible place, and now she would never get to thank him. She wanted to cry for Aaron, too, and the fact that the only father he'd ever had was gone, and neither of them really got a chance to say good bye. Even though she'd said good bye before he left, she didn't know that it was the last time they would ever kiss, or that she would never see his face again. Instead of crying, she followed Sayid to the crowd of survivors. She hung toward the back while the final few people came up to pay their last respects when all of a sudden, an immense form came into view in the water.
"It's the boat!" Kate declared, and soon everyone had run to the water cheering and yelling, waiting for the slowly approaching freighter. Claire felt deep rage for this. Charlie hadn't gotten his memorial service, which he deserved more then anyone since he was the reason that this boat was even here!
"Jack!" Claire practically had to scream to be heard over everyones cheers. "Jack! What about the memorial service?" Jack clearly couldn't hear her. Frustrated, she walked back to her tent, set Aaron down and started packing up Charlie's things. First, she just pulled his guitar and his backpack out and left them near her own bag, but she couldn't bear to leave the rest of his possessions, things that had once meant so much to him, behind.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Much later that night, all of the craziness from that day had begun to wear off. The freighter brought some much needed food which was split up evenly, and now there was nothing left to do but wait for the planes that would finally take them home. It had been mutually agreed that Claire, Sun, Jin, and Hurley would be on the first flight out. They were asked to only bring one bag each, so Claire had decided to leave all of her things behind,except for her diary, and bring Charlie's backpack and guitar with her. Claire held her tiny son close to her chest and looked out at the sky. More then anything, she wished that Charlie was here to share this moment with her. They'd both been waiting for it since the minute the plane had crashed.
A few hours passed before a small seaplane landed on their island. Claire wasn't sure where the mysterious "others" were now, only that they were not here, and there was no way that they could stop anyone from getting home now. The four that had been chosen to fly home first were boarding the plane in the early light of a new morning. 24 hours earlier Claire had been sitting on this very beach hoping that Charlie to come back to her. He hadn't. Claire was the last one to get on the plane. She passed Aaron to Sun, and took a last look around at this poison paradise, and pressed on her thumb. A second later she looked down to see a bare hand. No ring. Frantically, Claire stepped off the plane and raced back to her tent, her eyes on the ground the whole time. Nothing. Claire ripped through her abandoned luggage without a sign of it.
"Claire? What's going on?" Claire heard Jack's soothing voice, but she didn't turn around.
"Send someone else on the first flight, I don't care, but I can't leave. Not until I find it."
"Are you looking for this?" Claire did turn when she heard the now familiar Scottish accent. Desmond hadn't spoken to her since he'd been back, but now there he was, holding up the ring. Claire snatched it out of his hands quickly, but didn't thank him. "Wait, Claire. I have something else for you." Claire stopped, but only turned half way as Desmond handed her a badly smudged and nearly unreadable piece of paper. "Charlie asked me to give it to you." Claire's eyes ran over the page.
"What is this?" She asked. There were numbers going down the side of the page, but as hard as she squinted, she couldn't make out what was written next to the numbers.
"He said...that they were his greatest memories," Desmond replied softly. Claire thought about this for a minute before piecing it all together. The ring. The note.
"Desmond said that he knew,"
"You had a vision didn't you?" Claire shouted suddenly, outraged. "And you just let him die! You selfish bastard! You were supposed to save him!" Tears were flowing down her face now, and a loud sob escaped from her throat.
"I did have a vision," Desmond said calmly. "Of you and your baby getting into a helicopter. I wanted to switch places with him but he wouldn't... I'm sorry Claire."
"No, you're not sorry! You let him die!" Claire started beating him with her fists, nearly hysterical. Jack stepped in to pull her away, and she collapsed in the sand. "I didn't want him to die for me. I need him."
Author's Note: I know the ending isn't great, but I'm planning to add another chapter or two to pull it all together. Thanks for reading!
