Title: Making things right.
Rating: PG13 possibly? If you can watch the show, you can read this.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just play around with them.
AN1: Ha. I found this little fic cowering at the back of some files in my computer. Did a little editing, and its all ready to be criticised. Much thanks must go to Eeling (Erise) for being my beta. :)
AN2: This is not meant to insult anyone. I have nothing against other ships, and no bashing was intended. Still, C/A-ers and B/S-ers better stay away. I take no responsibility for any anger or damage caused from reading this fic. Besides, I wrote this is a state of insanity, I don't usually write fics like these. So, you have been warned. No flames please. This is set somewhere in Angel season 2 and Buffy season 4, I think. Sanctuary happened, but nothing else after that really happened. Did I mention Cordy and Gunn are dating? Oh well, if something doesn't fit, I guess you'll just have to deal. Lol.
AN3: If this is a little confusing, the italics (insert example) is what the little voice is telling Angel, and the bold (insert example), is what Angel is 'thinking' to the voice. Confused already? It gets worse.
*****
"Cordy, I told you that I do not want to shop." I repeated in exasperation.
Cordy frowned. "No", she disagreed, "You think you don't want to shop, but you're wrong. Who wouldn't want to shop?"
"No, you mean who wouldn't want to tag along with you and pay for all your purchases, and drag all your shopping bags," Gunn chuckled.
Cordy wrinkled her brow delicately, considering Gunn's words for awhile, "True," she allowed, "But don't you think it's unhealthy for Angel to start brooding again? He's been at it again for the last few days."
"You concern is touching," I replied dryly. "Don't tell me you wore out Gunn's credit card already."
She flushed, "Gunn doesn't mind".
Gunn sat up from his seat indignantly, "Doesn't mind? What man in his right mind would want his girl to max out his credit card on shoes, and …" He trailed off when Cordy shot him a look.
"I don't mind," he agreed.
"Look, Cordy," I sighed in resignation, "You can-" I stop abruptly. There was something… not right. I felt as if something, a spirit of some sort, was entering me. I shivered slightly, suddenly feeling chilled to the bone.
Then my body recovered to the normal room temperature.
"What?" Cordy looked at me suspiciously, "Your spider senses aren't tingling with some demon-y warning is it? 'coz that's my forte, and I've made a deal with the powers not to send any visions to me for this afternoon. It's my day off." She announced.
"You mean, you made the deal to the Powers." Gunn muttered.
"Well of course they agreed," Cordy shot back, insulted, "Why wouldn't they?"
"You mean the powers simply agreed to let anyone in need of help die because there was a sale?"
"They didn't exactly say they agreed," Cordy hedged, "but it was pretty obvious that they would agree if they could. I'm sure they knew how important this sale is to…"
I tuned the bickering couple out and focused my vampiric instincts around me. So far, I couldn't feel as if anything was out of place. Maybe I had just imagined it.
"So Angel," Cordy said brightly, "Coming?"
"Uh.. I.." I tried to recall what I had been about to say earlier, "Oh. I'm not going, but you can have my credit card."
No she can't. You have to use every cent you have to shower Buffy with presents.
"Actually, you can't. I have to use every cent to shower Buffy with.. huh?" I stopped, confused. Where did that come from?
Cordy sniffed. "I knew it," she accused, "You've been thinking about Buffy lately. That's the only reason why you would be brooding so much lately."
Okay, that was true. Maybe Cordy was right. I was brooding about her too much. That's why I was hearing voices in my head.
No, actually I'm here 'cause of you've been doing was thinking about her instead of getting back with her.
"Why?" I asked.Cordy and Gunn stared at me. "Why what?" Gunn asked, "You aren't cracking are you? I wouldn't want to face your psychotic alter ego anytime."
"Like I said, its because of our dear slayer back in the good ol' Dale." Cordy sniffed again, "You can brood over her right here by yourself. I'm not going to listen to you the whole afternoon." She flounced out, tugging Gunn with her. Gunn looked at me in concern.
"You should get some sleep," he shouted after me.
Sleep. That sounded good. Maybe this voice was some headache vampires got and a little sleep should kill it.
No way, it takes more than a little sleep to kill me.
I was going nuts.
Wow, big news there. Hello? You loved her, she loved you. What was wrong with the picture?
He's talking about Buffy?
Of course I'm talking about Buffy, who else could it be? Cordelia?
"Who are you?" I felt like an idiot, but hey, it was worth a shot.
I thought we covered that already. I'm here because all you're doing is brooding about her instead of getting back with her.
"I do not brood about her," I retorted defensively, "Even if I did, how would you know?"
Everyone knows you brood over her. It's splashed all over the net. At least, in the b/a section of the net. Fanfiction, forums, whatever.
"The 'net?" I squinted into nowhere in particular, "You mean the internet?"
No I mean the kind of net you use to catch stuff. There was sarcasm intended, in case you didn't catch it. Damn, this fic is harder to write then I thought it would be. Didn't expect you to be so dense.
Now I was even more confused. And horrified, for that matter. "People write stuff about me and Buffy on the internet?"
Hey, would you rather they write about you and, say... Holtz?
Did I say I was even more confused? Well, if it was possible, I was even, even more confused. "Holtz?"
Oops. Wrong timeline there. It's so hard to keep to the correct timeline when you're writing a fic. But anyway, you get the point. There's all sorts of fics about you and any other character, not just Buffy. And I do mean all. Spike, Giles, Lindsay, and worse, Cordy. Ewwww.
"Me and Spike?" I was outraged, "Angelus might actually have been mentally disturbed enough to…"
*giggle* but you have to agree he's hot. Mmmm, you just have to read one of those NC17 fics around. Of course, yours aren't too bad either.
If I could blush, I would have. I wonder what those about Buffy and me were like. Oh no, not there, don't go there.
They are what keep a b/a shipper alive in times like this.
Hey, you can hear me think?
I tried.You catch on really slowly.
You could have said so earlier. I wouldn't have to sound like an idiot talking to myself.
Don't worry, there isn't anyone around to hear you.
How do you know?
I'm the fic writer.
Point taken. It felt eerie, having the rest of my life be decided by this little voice in my head.
Oh don't worry, it's just temporarily. Soon he comes in and spoils our perfect little denial world.
He?
That's Joss. He decides everything which happen in you real life, however real it is.
So you mean this Joss was the one who put Buffy and me through all that torment?
You could say that. That's why we b/a shippers live off such fics.
I see.
I really didn't, but I suppose what could I expect, living in a world where vampires with souls not only existed, but I was one? I wonder what the little voice had in mind for this fic.I'll really prefer being called the fic writer. I'm risking a lot here you know. Flames can kill a fic writer.
So what do you have in mind?
Urm.. I was thinking of a nice, fluffy fic. How about you call Buffy and you both go out for dinner, and end up screwing in your apartment?
Sounds good. Sounds good. But I don't have an apartment anymore.
Fine. Your mansion, whatever. I swear, these little details are so pesky.
Okay. Write me up.
*scribbles* Angel calls Buffy for dinner. They go for dinner and end up screwing in his mansion.
Needs a little more plot, if you ask me,
I advised.Well, I could write a tearjerker where one of you ends up dying in the other's arms, and then stakes him/herself because he/she is too distraught to take it.
Hmm.. I think the dinner plot will do just fine.
Good. You go call her.
Huh?
I didn't expect I actually had to call Buffy.What, you think a good fic doesn't have any action?
What am I suppose to say?
Don't worry. I write your lines remember? Let me think for a sec. Hmm.. Tell her, 'Buffy, would you like to go for dinner with me?'
Brilliant. I wouldn't have been able to put it that way.
Go on.
I reached for the phone, and started to dial the familiar number. Before I could press the last number though, I was a wreck of nerves. What was I thinking? There was no way I could ask Buffy out without making a fool of myself.
Oh gees, just do it already.
I can't.
Yes you can. I write the fic. You follow my instructions like a good puppet. She can't reject you. I'm the fic writer.
That is a major confidence booster.
I strive to please. Now call.
I wouldn't want Buffy to be forced to agree if she doesn't really want to.
Noble Angel comes in huh? Let me tell you, since I'm the fic writer, of course I'll write that she wants to go.
Now that you put it that way…
So call! I've got tons of other fic ideas to write.
I shuddered, thinking of the torture other me's and Buffys would be put through. Trying my hardest to muster up all my courage, I picked up the phone and dialed her number before I could stop myself.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
The last of my courage was fading. Ohgoshohgoshohgosh. No, calm down. Just say 'Hi Buffy, would you like to go for dinner with me?'
Ring.
"Buffy, would you care to accompany me for dinner?" I practiced. No, I sounded like a dork.
Ring.
"Buffy, how do you feel about having dinner with me sometime?" I tried again. That was even worse.
Ring.
"Buffy, are you free to grab dinner with me?" Nonono. They should really call me DorkAngel now. Next thing, I'll be wearing yellow shirts and start cracking goofy jokes.
"Yeah?"
"Buffy, would you like to go out for dinner sometime? With me?" I practiced again.
"Peaches?"
Oops. Oh shit. I didn't realize someone had picked up the phone. "Spike!" I bellowed, "What are you doing there?
There was hysterical laughter coming from the phone. "Oh hell!" Spike gasped between laughter, "That was bloody brilliant if you asked me. I have no doubt Buff will agree to go out with a wanker like you. Angelus would be ashamed."
I growled through the phone, ready to rush over to Sunnydale and stuff it down a certain annoying vampire's throat. I heard a little scruffle and the phone on the other side drop.
"Hello? Angel?" Dawn said breathlessly.
I simmered down. "Dawn? What is Spike doing over there?"
"Oh he's playing checkers with me," Dawn said matter-of-factly as if it was the most ordinary thing that could happen. "Buffy had to patrol," she explained.
So Spike was baby-sitting. Of course, with the chip and all.
"And Buffy would love to go for dinner with you!" Dawn added chirpily. I could hear Spike still laughing in the background.
"Really?" I said dryly, not enjoying being laughed at very much by my grandchilde.
"Yeah!" Dawn said enthusiastically. A little too enthusiastically. "She just said so."
"I thought you said she was out on patrol."
"I did?" Dawn laughed uneasily, "Oh, yeah, she's back. In fact she's jumping excitedly around the room right now."
Spike laughed even harder.
"Uh huh," I said, unconvinced.
"Yup," Dawn replied cheerily. "So Friday? 7?"
"Yeah, sure," I stammered back. It was really happening. I had a date with Buffy.
"Great! Don't be late!" Dawn said brightly and hung up.
I listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before lowering the phone and glowered at it. I swear I could still hear Spike laughing.
No, it's just me. Oh gosh, that was priceless.
I scowled. Spike? Couldn't you just let me get to talk to her?
No B/A mush fic is done unless there's a scene between you and Spike, that's what I always say. That's done with, now let's go on to the next scene.
Huh? I wouldn't even have time to prepare? What about Cordy?
What about her. *sulky*
Don't worry, I see her as a little sister. A little sister who would react really badly when she finds out I have a date with Buffy.
Oh that's up to the fic-readers. *Airily* We'll skip the unimportant non-b/a parts.
Ah. If only life was like this. It would be much less complicating.
*scribbles* Next scene. You're picking Buffy up.
*****
Suddenly, I found myself outside Buffy's house. "What-" I stared at the flowers in my hand. Daisies, Buffy's favorite. I was clad in my favorite leather black pants which I never really wore much since I became Angelus for some reason. There was also the expensive silk shirt with my black duster over. I nodded approvingly.
Okay, Willow and Dawn are going to let you in, so get ready.
I squared my shoulders and rang the doorbell. Sure enough, Willow and Dawn let me in, Willow shooting me death glares.
Dawn rushed out and hugged me. "Oh good Angel! You're here. I'm soooo happy for you and Buffy, she deserves way better then Riley."
"Dawn!" Willow berated her. "Are you going to help me do the 'best friend evil glare' or not?"
She turned to me. "Buffy's upstairs. She'll be down in a few," Willow chirped through her glare, her face in an interesting contortion. "If you hurt her again I'll beat you up" she then hissed at me.
"Yeah, and I'll pull your hair," Dawn added. Willow and I stared at her. She shrugged, "I'm a great hair puller" she explained, "Even Buffy said so".
"I won't do anything to hurt her." I told them honestly.
"What about the curse?" Willow asked suddenly.
Oh yeah. What about the curse.
Uh.. Willow fixed it.
"You fixed it Willow," I smiled what I thought was my winning smile at her, "Don't you remember?"
Don't do that dorkAngel smile. Stick with your half smirk.
Oh.
Willow and Dawn seemed contented with the answer. "That's great then," Willow announced, "And look who's here."
I swiveled slightly and gasped. It was Buffy. Buffy walking towards me in a pale green halter dress. Simple, yet stunning. What was that word? Elegant. Yes, that was the word to describe her. She looked postively radiant. Plus it left her most of her back temptingly bare, revealing evenly tanned perfect golden-brown skin.
"Hi." She greeted me, smiling. I was delirious. Oh gosh, oh gosh. I was going to faint.
Don't you dare! It would spoil the whole fic. Tell her she looks great.
"You look great, Buffy," I managed to get out, "Better then great. Perfect."
"Thanks," she smiled, "You look pretty good too."
"Just pretty good?" I teased her. Now where did that come from?
She blushed slightly, "Okay, you look perfect too. We're two perfect-y people who would look really perfect together and did I really say that?" She asked, perplexed.
I smiled at her.
"Thanks for agreeing to give me a chance," I told her sincerely.
"I didn't actually agree, you know," She teased, shooting meaningful looks at Dawn who flushed and looked away.
I politely ignored her, and took Buffy's hand. It sent a little tingle up my arm through my body. We smiled at each other, and I led her to my car.
Willow and Dawn nodded tearfully, like proud mothers seeing their daughters walking down the aisle.
Dumdumdumdum..dumdumdumdum…(that's the wedding march, in case you couldn't tell.)
***
We stared awkwardly at each other. I coughed discreetly. Stop.. Think rationally. Okay, you're in a restaurant. With Buffy. Alone. Don't screw up.
"So…" we both simultaneously started, and laughed uncomfortably. "You go first," I offered, hoping that I would get out of this, since I had nothing to say in the first place.
Yeah right. You know she'll probably insist that you go first.
"No, its okay. You go first," Buffy insisted.
Told you so.
Shut up. Damndamndamn. She looks so good. Stop. Focus. You can think sexy Buffy thoughts later. Now just say something.
Tell her she looks beautiful. Girls love to hear compliments over and over again.
I was getting to that.
"Angel?" Buffy asked me curiously.
Here's your chance
."Erm.. I uh.. I uh…" I stammered. Suddenly what I was trying to say didn't make sense.
Now that was a great line.
At least I'm trying.
"Angel?' Buffy repeated, "Are you feeling well? You look a little pale."
No kidding.
Look, you're not helping.
Well Buffy, that's because I'm overwhelmed by how gorgeous you look, I practiced.You know, you should just say that out loud.
Yeah right. I'll sound like an idiot.
Can't be worse then how you sound like now.
Good point,
I thought, annoyed at how logical that was. Okay, here I go."Well Buffy, I'm over-uh.." I stuttered.
There. It happened again. It wasn't my fault. It was hers. I just saw her siting there looking so breathtaking and my mind when blank.
You are hopeless.
Thanks for clearing that up.
Let's try it again. This time, repeat after me.
Buffy, the reason why I'm sounding like such an idiot is because you look amazing…
"Buffy, the reason why I'm sounding like such an idiot is because you look amazing…"
I hadn't been able to think straight ever since the first time I saw you…
"I haven't been able to think straight ever since the first time I saw you.." I recited.
That's why I've made a lot of dumb mistakes. I hope you can forgive me..
"That's why I've made a lot of dumb mistakes. I hope you can forgive me"
so we can skip this dinner and start screwing already.
"So we can skip this dinner and start screwing already" I finished. Wait a second. What did I say?
"I mean, I mean…"I sputtered, "Did I really say that?"
Buffy looked at me in confusion. Not that I could blame her. I'll probably think I was insane if I were she. "Angel.."
Hey, it got the message across.
"I am so going to kill you," I seethed. Oh shit. Did I say that aloud?
"Angel."
"I didn't mean I'm going to kill you." I laughed nervously, "Would you believe me that I was talking to a little voice in my head? I'm not insane. Really. So you don't have to worry about Angelus resurfacing. Besides, don't worry, my soul is perfectly glued to me now. Not that I'm suggesting that we go to the mansion so I can make passionate love to you, of course, it was the little voice again-" Great. Now I was babbling.
"Angel"
"Or maybe it'll be more believable if I told you I was insane?" I looked at her hopefully.
"ANGEL!!!"
I cringed, noticing the looks we were getting from the other customers near by.
"It's okay, I wouldn't mind just ditching this dinner thing…"
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes, yes!
"I find the screwing idea a lot more appealing than this anyway.."
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes, yes!
"Why don't we go over to your place and-"
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes, yes!!
Buffy paused. She thought hard for awhile. "Hey, did you say a little voice in your head?"
Huh?
Uh-oh.
****
"
So that was the whole story," I finished. I stared at her, afraid of how she would react. After all, I had sort of played a part in playing with her actions.She sat there silently for awhile, cushioning her chin with her pillow as she took it in. "So everything, this whole date was because of some little voice?" Buffy asked slowly. I nodded apologetically.
"And your apology for leaving me was because of this voice?" I nodded again, suddenly very angry at this fic-writer, who had mumbled something about this fic being hopeless and slunk away, if little voices could slink.
"And the only reason why you asked me out, and said all those nice stuff about me is because of it?" Buffy asked softly.
I nodded, ashamed. Buffy started to laugh hysterically. She laughed, doubled over the pillow as loud chortles of laughter came rolling out. I stared at her.
"I'm sorry," Buffy apologized, wiping tears from her eyes, "Its just that, I actually thought for a moment there that you actually wanted to try and let it work again."
"That you still loved me."
I continued staring at her. "Buffy, I-"
"I know, ridiculous isn't it?" she cut me off bitterly, "After all, its for my own good. Well, a lot of good it is! Loneliness is simply filled with all sorts of goodness."
"Buffy," I blurted out, "I do still love you. I've always wanted to try again, but I was too afraid of rejection, that you had moved on, and found someone else better then me. I wouldn't want to get in your way, so even though I had always wanted to call you, to ask about you, to let you know I still love you, I never did so. Until this voice just came and promised me a happy ending."
Buffy burst out incredulously, "Really? You actually thought I would find someone I'd rather share forever with instead of you?"
"You made it seem pretty clear the last time you came to L.A," I muttered.
"That was because I was hurt. I came all the way to L.A, only to see you holding and defending another girl, the someone who tried to kill you, and I wasn't…" She looked up at me, "I wasn't thinking clearly," she confessed.
My heart lightened when I heard her speech. True, maybe I had known it all along, but some part of me refused to believe it, until now.
"I love you" I whispered, gazing into her expressive eyes, the ones which I had always so loved to read.
"I love you too," she whispered back. Right now, her eyes were shining with love and adoration. Or maybe that was just mine reflected in hers.
I leaned over and lifted her chin slightly and kissed her. It was heavenly, but tentative, like two soul mates, slowly but surely regaining their trust in each other.
And that was what it exactly was.
Aww, ain't that sweet?
Not you again.
I groaned."Angel?" Buffy asked curiously.
"Sorry love," I mumbled, "Little voice back."
"Ignore it, we've got better things to do," she nibbled my ear.
I pulled back to look at her, and smiled. "My soul's permanent. Thanks to Willow." I told her.
And me.
I ignored it, more interested in seeing Buffy's reaction.
"So what are you doing to do?" she asked huskily, pulling me down with her onto the bed.
"What do you think we should do about it?" I teased her back.
"Do you even have to ask?" she huffed.
I laughed.
You better make this an NC17 fic, if you're going to stay for more
, I silently told the little voice, tilting my head so that Buffy and my lips met again.And all was right with the world.
****
And so, since this fic isn't NC17, I'll leave what happened next to your imagination. Reviews please! I'll do a sequel, but I'm not sure if poor Angel's sanity can take it.
