Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note
A/N: Why do things like this occur to me and why do I write them down?
Warning: This story is ridiculous.
Superfly
It was about two in the morning, and Mello was dead tired. He lay in bed, watching as the numbers on the clock changed, and waited to fall asleep. He had just about succeeded when suddenly, he felt something crawling up his neck.
He jumped, and he heard the buzz of a fly zooming around his head. He couldn't see it in the dark, but it must have been huge because he could actually feel it stirring up the formerly still air.
This giant fly had been keeping him awake every night for over a week. Mello thought it should have died by now, but it never did, and he never saw it during the daytime. There was a stirring under the covers next to Mello as Matt rolled over.
"Mello, are you awake?"
"Yeah, how am I supposed to sleep with that fly buzzing around?"
"Just ignore it." Matt muttered sleepily.
"I can't! It crawls on me whenever I hold still! And it keeps flying into me!" Mello yelled.
"Okay, calm down." Matt said soothingly.
"Don't tell me to calm down!" Mello screeched.
"You know what, Mello? Let's just kill it right now."
"Yeah!" Mello agreed. He felt the bed shift as Matt climbed out of it and went to turn on the lights. Mello blinked as his eyes adjusted to the brightness, and then his vision cleared and he was able to see Matt groggily standing by the light switch, seemingly unconcerned by the fact that he wasn't wearing anything.
Well, Mello wasn't either, but it seemed different somehow when they were under the covers in bed in the dark. His gaze swept over the length of Matt's body for a moment, but his staring was interrupted when the fly collided with his eyeball.
"Augh!" Mello yelled, rubbing his eye while searching for the fly with his uninjured one. Matt laughed at him, but shut up when Mello glared at him.
"I think it went over there." Matt said, pointing to the wall on Mello's left.
"Do we have a flyswatter?" Mello asked.
"I don't think so." Matt said, rolling up a piece of computer paper and walking over to the wall. The fly was nowhere to be found for a moment, but then it crawled out from behind a bookshelf and made its way up the wall.
Matt lunged after it, but missed and it flew away. He looked around wildly to find it again, which he did when it landed on the opposite wall. He attacked it again, with similar results.
Meanwhile, Mello watched Matt, thinking that he looked hot right then, like some archetypal hunter of legend. Only he was hunting a fly with a piece of paper. So what if it wasn't perfect?
"Mello, get up and help me!" Matt cried as the fly slammed into his face over and over. It looked like the fly was deliberately attacking him! Mello got up and grabbed another piece of paper, rolling it the way Matt had done, and joined the fray.
After a few minutes of them waving their arms around as the fly brutally bludgeoned them, Mello ran back to the bed and hid under the covers.
"You coward!" Matt yelled at Mello, and the way he said it reinforced Mello's impression of him as some mythological character. But he was no longer a hunter, as this was no mere hunt.
It was war, and he was a warrior: a warrior who fought naked, without armor, like a modern-day Beowulf or a Spartan soldier. Mello peeked his head out from his sanctuary and saw that the fly had landed on the wall again.
Matt snuck up slowly and raised his roll of paper above his head, preparing to strike. He swiftly brought a killing blow down upon the fly, and Yes! He hit it! When he drew the paper away from the wall, the fly was there, certainly smashed after such a blow.
Matt raised his arms in triumph and ran over to hug Mello in celebration. But their victory was short-lived, unlike the fly, which twitched for a moment before taking flight once more. Matt and Mello looked up at it in shock and fear as it hovered over their bed.
"No way!" Matt exclaimed, and the fly launched another attack, diving down and bouncing off Mello's chest. Mello squeaked and jumped out of the bed. The fly followed, and so did Matt.
The fly reared back for another charge at Mello, but then Matt grabbed Mello around the waist and pulled him out of the way, taking the hit himself. Mello sighed admiringly at Matt's noble self-sacrifice.
Then the fly began buzzing toward him yet again, and Matt batted it away with his paper without letting go of Mello. It slammed into the wall and fell to the floor, buzzing feebly.
They both watched with bated breath as the fly twitched once more and then ceased all motion. Matt let go of Mello and cautiously advanced toward it, then picked up a book off the shelf and dropped it on top of the creature.
There would be no surviving that. It was finally over. Matt turned around and brought Mello into another hug, which Mello returned, throwing his arms around Matt's neck.
"I think you deserve a hero's reward." Mello said. Matt laughed.
"You think so?" He asked, smirking. Mello nodded, biting his bottom lip, and walked backwards, pulling Matt into bed with him. Matt climbed on top of Mello, kissing him and running his hands down his sides.
Then he grabbed the blonde's hips and held them still while he pressed against them with his own. Mello gasped at the sensation, bucking up against his lover. His hero. His Spartan warrior. Mello laughed aloud at his own thoughts, causing Matt to look at him curiously.
"What's so funny?" Matt asked rather breathlessly.
"Nothing." Mello answered, wrapping his right leg around Matt's waist. Matt seemed too distracted to question him further. He pulled back and kissed down the side of Mello's face and neck, then began teasing a nipple with his teeth. Mello gasped and his head tilted back a bit so that he was looking at the ceiling. Then he froze.
"Matt, stop!" He shouted suddenly.
"What?" Matt asked, confused.
"There's a huge spider on the ceiling." Mello said. Matt looked up and saw it.
"So?" Matt responded.
"So go kill it!" Mello screeched. Matt rolled his eyes, but grudgingly answered Mello's call to action, disregarding his own selfish interests. Because that was what a hero did.
The End.
A/N: Review me, dudes. Not to do so would be most heinous.
