Alas another song fiction without being able to use the song :( But please listen to Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight" during or before reading the story.
You watched her face crumble as you told her your news...you were leaving. Tears welled up in her eyes and silently fell down her cheeks as you kept on talking, trying so desperately to explain the unexplainable. You wanted to hold her, comfort her, dry her tears like you had so many times in the past, but you two were beyond that and you knew it. You were the CAUSE. Slowly she reached up and wiped the wetness from her face with her sleeve and turned away from you to cross the room to the window. The rain was pouring down outside as it had been all day and the panes of glass were slightly foggy, but she stood there looking outside anyway. Not really seeing anything at all. You wanted more than anything to sweep across the room and pull her into your arms, but you didn't. You just sat down on the couch and waited. You weren't sure what you were waiting for, but still you waited. Suddenly there was a sharp flash of light and a loud clap of the thunder as the lights in the house went off. You heard the sharp intake of her breath and then soft footsteps that soon faded. And still you sat. Only minutes later she returned holding a candle in each hand, the flames dancing across her face. And you tried to remember if she had ever looked more beautiful, more innocent than she did at this moment. And if she had, you sure couldn't recall. She set the candles down gently on the coffee table and moved to close the curtains. Finally able to move yourself from your position on the couch you got up and went to start a fire in the fireplace. When you turned back from your task, you found her sitting on the floor, her legs curled underneath her, pouring wine into two glasses. You went over and sat down by her side as you accepted the glass that she handed you. She raised her glass and you in turn raised yours and with a clear voice she toasted to "Friendship and the night" as your glasses resulting in a beautiful tinkling sound. Then she moved so she could be in your embrace and her head came to rest peacefully on your chest.
Softly the two of you talked about old times, almost afraid if one of you spoke above a whisper the moment would quickly end and reality would take hold once more. So quietly you both laughed and cried as memories took over. And the longer the conversation, the more you wished that you could take it all back. That you could tell her you had changed your mind and you couldn't really leave her. But you couldn't because you knew that you needed this, this time away. You knew all the reasons you had to go, you'd been through it all in your head a million times those last few days. Yet being there with her, holding her in your arms, you began to doubt, began to question yourself. Question whether you're strong enough to leave her, strong enough to live day to day without her here beside you. Then just as you were about to weaken, tell her you were going to stay, you heard her say so softly,for a moment you even wondered if it might have been your imagination "I'll always be in your heart". But it wasn't your imagination because after she said the words you felt her body start shaking and knew she was trying to fight her tears. And since she was being so brave, you decided you could be too, so you closed your mouth to words you were going to say and just pulled her tighter into your arms.
Her tears had stopped for the moment and you both just sat there, locked in one another's embrace. You stared at the flame as it rose then fell, almost in rhythm with the rising and falling of your chest as you breathed. You realized as she moved slightly so she could be closer to you just how much everything had changed and how out of control your life was, how out of control your thoughts were, your feelings. Because there you were holding the one person who meant the world to you in your arms, someone who you had always thought about only as a friend, yet you were quickly realizing that maybe there was more there, desire perhaps. She was so beautiful and unique, so her. And you had never quite known why it bothered you so much that she had someone else until this moment. It had bothered you because it wasn't you. Shocking. You couldn't believe you had never realized it before. And all of a sudden everything was too much, you had to leave at that moment before you said something or did something that both of you would regret. You started to leave, gently moving her from your side, but leaning down to kiss the top of her head quickly before heading for the door. But as you grasped the door handle in your palm, completely intent on leaving you heard her sobs and stopped in your tracks. You had always hated it when she cried. You turned back to her and she stared at you, straight down to your soul, her doe brown eyes full of more unshed tears and you lost any and all resistance when she whispered "Stay...just tonight".
You nodded then moved towards her, away from the door. She walked into your arms and you held her tight, enjoying the embrace. Wanting to believe in fairytales, wishing it could last forever. But soon, too soon she pulled away. She crossed the room and picked up a candle off the table then walked back to you. You watched as her tiny hand slipped into your larger one and she pulled you up the stairs towards her room. The candle lit up her room slightly and you watched as she tossed you some of your nightclothes you had left at some point or another. And as you started to change she left the room, her own pajamas in hand. You laid down on the bed after pulling the covers back and stared up at the ceiling contemplating nothing and everything at the same time. But before your thoughts could become too complex she reappeared in the doorway. And you were struck for the second or third time that night with how beautiful she was. She looked like an angel with her white satin bottoms and pink tanktop, her hair cascading around her face, her lips shining, begging to be kissed. Quickly you push that thought away. She came to lay down with you and you moved over a little to give her room. She fidgets as she always has, moving around trying to become comfortable. But this time she moved so her head laid on your chest, and her hand over your heart. And you were afraid she would feel that it was beating a million times a minute. After minutes of silence, which seemed to you like infinite light years she whispered "Night" and you responded in turn.
You awakened first and marveled at her beauty in the first rays of the sun, the dawn. You listened to her rhythmic breathing and smiled just to see the smile upon her face. You knew she must be dreaming something good because in that moment she looked so happy. You took time to memorize every line and curve of her face. And suddenly you came face to face with the nasty realization that you were the one about to tear apart that happiness, that peace right out from under her. All of a sudden you couldn't bear it, the thought of seeing her face, filled with so much pain again. So you carefully removed yourself from her arms and got out of bed. Then you quietly tiptoed across the room and found a pad and a pen. You wrote her a short note, and placed it on the pillow in her bed, where your head had laid. You then leaned down and placed a kiss upon her cheek, and as you stood at the door, wanting to capture the moment forever you felt tear escape, trailing slowly down your face. And below a whisper you told her to "Stay gold" as you closed the door on her sleeping figure, sunlight glinting off her hair, bathing her in gold.
She awoke out of the dream to find herself alone, the bed next to her empty. She had known he would be gone, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. Tears filled her eyes again but she fought to hold them back as she sat up. She picked up the piece of paper lying on the pillow and read the words, ...we'll always have the night, save it and it'll always be ours. And as the tears overflowed she allowed herself to cry until she had no more tears left. She pulled herself out of bed and walked over to open the window sometime later and was surprised to see that the sun was shining so brightly and that it was such a beautiful day. So surreal. She stood there and stared outside for quite a while thinking, before the ringing phone interrupted her thoughts. She let the answering machine pick up, and was surprised to hear his voice "Hales I wanted to tell you...I love you..."
