Disclaimer: Do you really think a college dishwasher's gonna own any rights to
Marvel, or W.W.F? I Think not. And it shows.
Howdy you all. I've been having trouble accessing the fan fiction site for some
Crazy reason. Any ways, this story came about as a car ride back from work
When my beloved and I were both thinking about the "American Bad ass"
Song by Kid Rock. At the same time, we both started thinking about Wolverine
Being Canadian. Of course we both started singing I AM CANADIAN BAD ASS!
Then, I started thinking about the Undertaker, and well, the story started from there.
My loved one actually introduced me to WWF, My brothers and sisters watch
WCW and I didn't care for ither of them. Chyna was o.k. and on the flip side I liked
Goldberg because Jews are just cool, but they were on different teams. Mine other
Solved the problem by switching channels back and forth but any ways, that had no
Point. Now we have a story because of the car ride. On with the merriment.
"T.V. Night in Bedlam."
"I am Canadian bad ass! Americans suck my white thick.."
"Wolverine! What the hell are you singing!"
" Canadian bad ass. Hey… I thought you didn't cuss Storm."
" I do when you've been telling us to suck it all day. Professor says no more
wrestling for you!"
" Ya know what I gotta say to ta that?"
"By the light Logan…"
~ does the whole wavy hands thing ~
"SUCK IT!"
"Logan, I'm warning you…"
"Seriously Darlin' What do you think?"
"About your new buzz cut or your attitude? I think.."
" IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!"
" That's it! I am going to get Jean!"
" NO FEAR!"
From the kitchen a bellowing cry is heard.
" CAN YA SMEEEEEELLLLLLLLAH what da cajun is cookin?!"
"By the heavens Remy! No! Not you now too!"
Wolverine bursts in to say..
" Yes, and quite frankly, it smells like monkey crap."
Gambit stops, looks directly at Logan, stands on a kitchen chair and does the
Bring It On.
Gambit and Wolverine start wrestling and then what was once only McMohahn
Music starts blaring as the new Titintron that Cyclops installed is activated.
" What the hell is going on here commissioner Wolverine?"
Gambit stops and Stares down Professor Xaiver as Wolverine flashes a toothless smile.
" Professor! Did you not tell me to tell them no more!"
" That I did Storm. But.. Wrestling is too addictive . For now on, You shall be known as
Linda. "
"I shall not! "
" Defiant to the end! Call me a genetic jack hammer!"
At this point, McMohahn music starts again as Cable comes through,
Bashes Gambit on the head with a metal chair and exits yelling "Giant Killer."
Beast enters as Beastkeshi wearing nothing but a tasseled thong and calls out
A challenge to Cable. Bishop comes out as the Big Show and Wolverine, Gambit,
Beastkishi and The Bishop show have a four way dance. To make a long story short,
Wolverine's just about to get a stinky face when Triple H's music echoes through
The kitchen and Cyclops drowns his head in water.
"Now entering the Titintron.. Scott Summers, accompanied by his lovely wife,
Jean!"
"Rouge! Not you too!"
"Sorry sugar Ah am from the south."
Cannonball runs through calling Jean a skank whored slut then kisses her
Full on the lips and runs before Triple Dork..AKA Scott can react.
Nightcrawler shows up as Kurt Angle.
" Mine blue fur! I share the same name as an American hero!"
" I'll kill you, you Bastard!"
At this, Scott and Kurt start wailing on each other and Jean runs out in tears.
We still don't know her wearabouts
" Boys, Boys, come to my hovercraft for a moment."
Scott and Kurt come out hours later looking ashamed as Wolverine recovers from
A blue stinky face. Toad and Magneto show up as Jay C and Kid Rock.
Toad looks right at Gambit and is about to downstairs him when Psylocke
Comes out with a painted Warren in tow.
"Now entering the ring..Eddie Gurrero and Ma Macita!"
" Make the hurting stop!"
Leech shows up with another little boy as the Dudly Boyz and puts
Psylocke through a table. Juggernaut appears in full Kane garb and voice
Box in hand.
" I Want You…grrrrolnmmt" He says pointing to The Bishop show.
But then Sabertooth shows up, does the worm and knocks Kanernaut out.
At this time, Gambit has got Beastkeshi down and commences the Peoples
Elbow. Cyclops is attacked in the parking lot by an unknown assailant and
The crowd goes silent. A lone motorcycle is heard, and The Undertaker
Shows up.
" Damnit Logan! We were surposed to go fer beers an hour ago!"
" Sorry Bub. Got a little carried away here."
"Wipe that blue shit off yer face! Ya look like you've been eating out a smurf!"
Wolverine and the Undertaker go out for beers.. but nothing else. We swear.
There was no trip to Atlanta or to the Harris Teeter in Roswell. And
Absolutly no one got drunk, picked up prostitutes, screwed or otherwise. No Red Bug
Was harmed in this completely innocent trip.. really.
This was for Dallas working hard at the Harris Teeter.
