hii! i started this story before but didn't really like it so i'm starting again!
i'm really please with the first chapter so far
also im not from the us so im not sure how the school system works
so if i get anything wrong let me know!
please keep in mind that this fic will be dark
it involves drug use and other things
so if that's not your thing please click away
i'm going to try and update every wednesday
but no promises
I stood at the foot of the bed. Staring. The lump in my throat threatened to push the tears from the corner of my eyes. The bed will never be the same. I'll never look at it in the same way. I stared, tears falling from my eyes and down my cheeks.
Why? Why me? Why? I don't get it. What did he do wrong?. Why him? Things were supposed to get better. This wasn't meant to happen. My throat tightened as a quiet sob escaped my mouth. I couldn't wrap my head around anything. It had all happened so quickly and I hadn't had time to come to terms with it.
Quickly wiping the tears from my cheeks I turned away from the bed. The rain was beating heavily against my window. I had often heard him say that the sky always seemed to give the appropriate weather for the mood, and I guess he was right. I was miserable, and the weather seemed pretty fucking miserable as well.
I kicked my rain soaked shoes off and flopped down onto my desk chair. A spinny one, spinny chairs had always been his favourite and somewhere along the way they had became mine as well.
I sighed, running my hands down my tear sodden face. God, I was being a bitch. I deemed it excusable though, considering the situation.
The faint sound of mumbling and shuffling could be heard outside my door. I guess whoever it was knew better than to step foot into my room, let's say they probably wouldn't get a happy welcoming.
Looking out my window, the rain fall was turning the snow on the ground to a grey mush. God, did I hate that mush. He had hated it as well. He would always complain about it soaking through his shoes and making his feet wet. I would always tell him to buy better shoes, but I'd just be given a glare in return. I guess that's when I started hating it as well.
Shit. I had to stop thinking about him. I was crying again. With a pitiful sniffle, I wiped my eyes.
I suppose I should explain who 'He' is. 'He' is Tweek. My… My… Something. It was never clear what exactly we were, But God, whatever it was I loved everything about it.
I loved everything about him. The nest of hair that I'd run my fingers through in the morning in an attempt to bush out the tats. The cute little glare he'd throw my way whenever I said something he didn't agree with. Then there was his eyes. Oh God, his eyes. I could never find words to describe them. They were a different colour every time I say them, hazel during the day, a deep forest green at night whenever we'd be lying in bed staring into each other's eyes, and when the sun caught them just right they'd be an amazing bright blue that I'd never want to look away from. God I loved his eyes, even when they were surrounded by a ring of red, painful looking veins.
He had his problems. A lot of them in fact, but God was he amazing. I don't know what he did to deserve the cards he was dealt, but I had tried everything I could to change his hand.
Me and Tweek hadn't always been… Something. We hadn't actually spoken for quite a few years. He had fallen off the map during the summer of eighth grade, and when I saw him again he was a completely different person. A person I didn't want to be around, but if only I had maybe things would have been different.
Maybe I should explain a bit more of the story? It's unfortunately a pretty short story, but one with a lot of struggle.
I suppose I should give some backstory before I get to the real story. Tweek and I had known each other since elementary school, we were… Friends I guess you could say. We hung out sometimes but we were mostly seen with other people.
In middle school we became actual friends. We had our fair share of fights, but who didn't in middle school? What with all the hormones and hierarchy bullshit it was inevitable. For the most part, however, we were pretty close. It was in the last year of middle school, though, that Tweek became friends with someone I wish he hadn't. I care so little about the guy that I can't even remember his name, but he fucked Tweek up and for that he's lucky I can't remember his name.
It was subtle at first. The odd 'Hi' in the hallways. The year went on, however, and I began to see less of Tweek. He would skip school, which was very un-Tweek-like. He was always worried the school would ring his parents and they'd disown their 'disobedient' child. He would show up late to class, stumble through the door looking half dead. Late was something Tweek never was. The thought of him being late to anything was unimaginable.
I should have said something then, should have dragged him away from his new 'friend' whether he liked it or not; but I didn't. I carried on like I hadn't noticed he was missing. Carried on like he'd never been a member of 'Craig's gang', as we were known; and by we I mean, Clyde, Token, Jimmy and of course me. I guess everyone in the group followed my lead and forgot he was ever one of the gang. Jimmy would mention him every now and then, but he had become somewhat of a taboo subject. He who shall not be named, and fuck do I regret it.
Regretting it is all well and good, but it won't change anything. It won't bring my Tweek back to me. I digress, though.
Middle school was when his life had turned to shit. Middle school was the time we had each forgotten about the others existence. Middle school was when he needed my help the most and I completely abandoned him.
I guess I should get to the real story now.
It had been a shit morning. One quite like today. I had been woken up, first by the droning beep of my alarm clock, and secondly my by sister who had been sent by my mum when the alarm clocks attempt at waking me up had failed. Trica, my sister, had thrown herself through the door with a force that had caused it to smack the wall behind it with a thud. The abruptness of it was enough to actually make me jump. Me. Craig Tucker, who is notorious for being unscareable.
"Mum says get up, you lazy shit."
I can't imagine my mum using those specific words, but then again we were the Tucker family. Swearing in every sentence was kind of mandatory.
"Okay, Okay, I'm up," I groaned, pushing her back off of my stomach, "Now get of me you heavy fucker."
All I got in return was, what I like to call, the Tucker salute before she jumped off the bed and ran out of my room.
I groaned for a second time in the space of five minutes as I ran my hand through my bedhead.
My room would be relatively dark if it weren't for the dreary sunlight bleeding it's way through the gap in my curtains and the artificial light from the hallway making its way through the door that my sister left open.
I could tell it was raining without even having to open the curtains. I could firstly tell from the sound of the rain beating off of my bedroom open, and secondly the fact that the light that did manage to leak it's way through the curtains was dull.
Great. Fucking great weather for the first day of my Senior year. Well it's not like I had to walk anyway. Mum and dad had graciously bought me a car for my eighteenth birthday as they were tired of the fact I was always borrowing their cars without asking. I wasn't complaining. I had been hounding them for my own car ever since I had learned how to drive.
So I considered it a win win situation.
I pushed my tired body out of the warm comfort of my bed and stumbled my way across the hall and into the bathroom. After a quick pee, and brush of my teeth I stumbled my way back into my room.
I sighed as I glanced around. School was something I could not be fucked with. It was full of assholes who would stop at nothing to get a one up on someone they didn't like. Drama. Drama everywhere. It was something that bored me.
The only plus side was getting to hang out with Token and Clyde. Jimmy's parents had moved them out of town over the summer of eighth grade. It was sad at the time, but we kept in touch through Facebook so it's not like the gang would never see him again. Even though I had seen Token and Clyde yesterday, we got together for our weekly joint, seeing them at school was completely different. For one we weren't getting high. Secondly, Token always acted different in school, uptight and proper, nothing like the loud potty mouthed bastard he is normally. Besides the point, though, school would be a complete waste of time without my two buddies.
Making my way over to the set of drawers opposite the foot of my bed, I opened the top drawer and picked out a plain dark grey t-shirt, then a pair of black skinny jeans, and lastly clean boxers. My fashion sense wasn't the best, plain and boring, just like me, as Trica always says; and I was fine with that. At least it was something, and if plain and boring was the vibe it gave of, even better. No unwanted attention drawn.
After my quick clothes change I was making my way down stairs. My mum was standing in the kitchen, making pancakes from the smell of it, and Trica was sitting in the middle of the couch shoveling one into her mouth while she stared fixedly at the TV.
"Hi mum." I muttered walking into the kitchen and towards the fridge.
"Hi sweetie." She smiled. "I'm making pancakes, grab yourself a plate this one's just about done."
I had a carton of orange juice pressed to my lips, but managed a thumbs up in response. Mum's pancakes are the best. She always manages to make them just how I like them, just barely turning brown. Clyde would always tell me they were gross as they were still raw on the inside, by hey, they're nice to me. Shoving the carton back into the fridge I grabbed a clean plate from the dish rack by the sink and walked over to her.
She already had the pancake on the spatula awaiting my plate, which I held out in front of me. "Thanks ma." I threw over my shoulder as I was leaving the kitchen.
Trica was still sitting in the middle of the couch when I walked up to her. "Move over." I muttered as I pushed my ass into the corner beside her. She did, without so much as a sigh, just scooting her bum down to the opposite end of the couch; she didn't even glance away from the TV.
I had been expecting a rhetorical remark or some sort of offensive gesture and I have to say I was slightly disappointed I hadn't received one, but I didn't dwell on it.
The pancake on my plate was gone within a few minutes and right as I was setting my plate down for another one Clyde texted the group chat he had set up, that had graciously been called 'Craig's Gang' by yours truly, demanding he got a lift to school. I sent back a quick 'I'll think about' in response before picking my plate back up with a half raw pancake on it.
My phone had buzzed several more times as I ate. I didn't even have to look at it to know that it would be Clyde practically begging me over the phone for a lift, using some lame blackmail attempt like, 'Remember I let you borrow my grinder that one time'.
When I finally did look at my phone again, having left my plate in the kitchen and returned to my room, he had indeed used the grinder blackmail that I had already repaid tenfold. I even spotted some messages from Token telling him that he should just buy himself a car if he didn't want to burn the calories it took to walk to school.
'You tell him Token,' was my reply as I dropped my phone onto my bed on my way to the wardrobe.
It took about ten minutes to dig through the thing to find my school bag from last year, because fuck buying a new one I wasn't made of money and my old one was still in perfectly good condition.
"Craig!" My mum called from downstairs.
"Yeah?"
"I'm taking Trica to school now." Some shuffling and muttered talking filled the pause, "And you'd better have left for school by the time I get back!" She added then left slamming the front door behind her.
"Right." I called in response as I pushed myself to my feet.
My bag had a few old books still left in it from last year, so I threw them into the wardrobe with little care and pushed the door closed.
My phone still hadn't stopped buzzing, Clyde was going on about pressing charges for bullying which I didn't even know was a thing? 'Get your shit I'm leaving now.' I texted quickly.
With a sign, I sent on last sorrowful glance back at my bed, picked my jacket up, my phone and bag, then promptly left making sure to close my door behind me.
There was a bitter wind outside that threatened to knock me off my feet. The rain had luckily subsided somewhat, there was still a mizzle but at least it wasn't pouring down. Pulling my worn black denim jacket tightly around myself, I closed and locked the front door behind me then made my way over to my bet up Ford Escort. A shit car, I know, but it got me places so that's all I cared about.
I started the engine, turned the heat up to max and set off towards Clyde's house. Me and Clyde didn't actually live all that far apart, but one I knew Clyde wasn't about to walk to my house for a lift, and two it was easier as I could threaten to leave if I thought he was taking too long.
I pulled up outside and honked the horn. As I waited I glanced around. My car was a tip. A faint smell of marijuana lingered in the car and joint butts littered the ground, which probably wasn't helping with the smell. Fast food wraps lay about the ground and I even had old clothes I was probably meant to take to charity sitting in the back seats. The seats were stained and a few knobs had fallen off the dashboard, all in all a piece of shit. The only redeeming quality was a pair of fuzzy dice I had hanging from the rear view mirror.
As I was inspecting the cleanliness of my car, Clyde had barreled his way through the door and was now sitting shivering in the passenger seat.
"Fuck dude, it's not that cold." I stated with a blank stare in his direction. God, he could be such a drama queen.
"It is!" He whined as I pulled away from the curb. "You're just a stone cold bitch and that's why you don't notice."
"Mhm" Was my bland reply.
We headed to school in silence for the most part. Clyde had this thing about singing every song he knew on the radio, whether he knew the right words or not. It wasn't him singing that was annoying, well it wasn't the most annoying thing. What was most annoying was the fact he make up what he thought the words were or just mumble incoherent gibberish to the tune of the song. I can never pick which one I find worse.
I'd learned not to tell him to shut up. It'd only make him louder and a loud, annoying Clyde was something I was not up for dealing with on a Monday morning on the first day back to school at eight in the fucking morning.
Pulling into the school car park I drove around quietly until I found the first free parking space I could. Exiting the car I grabbed my bag from the backseat, waited for Clyde to do the same then headed towards the front of the school.
"Think Token's here yet?" Clyde asked from behind me.
Ever since we started High School Token, Clyde and I always met at the front doors of the school. It had always been the easiest place to find each other, everyone passed through the front doors, be it there were multiple front doors but we had decided on one to meet at and since the first day it had never changed.
Of course, when I learned to drive Clyde had decided that I would be the one to drop him off at school and not his mum, so I never had to wait at the front door for him anymore. Which could be considered a good thing as Clyde was known for being late.
"Probably, he always likes to be an hour early." I replied dryly.
It was true, though, Token was always the first out of the three to us to show up at school. He set the standard for Craig's gang that neither me nor Clyde upheld. It wasn't a surprise, however, Clyde and I would probably be considered delinquents next to Token. Hell, everyone could probably be considered a delinquent next to Token. Something that Clyde would never admit, as he was a 'Good boy who never did anything wrong.' or so he likes to tell himself.
Token was standing to the side of the hallway occupying himself with his phone when we walked into the building.
"Hey." He said with a smile when he saw us approaching.
"Hey man!" Clyde smiled draping an arm around Token and pulling him close into a side hug.
"Yo." I answered with a weak salute.
"Fuck, feels like forever since we've been here." Clyde exclaimed as we all headed down the hall in search of our lockers, not that we had anything to but in them yet.
"I really does." Token agreed.
As they started talking between themselves I people watched. There were a lot of familiar faces. Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Butters stood circled round each other at the side of the hallways talking about something. Kyle seemed pretty excited about whatever it was, maybe one of those extravagant holidays his parents always liked to take him and Ike on during the summer holiday.
Bebe, Wendy and a few other girls were a little further down the hall. Bitching and talking about whatever it was girls normally talk about on the first day back to school; maybe digging up drama from the year before? Clyde blow a wolf whistle in Bebe's direction, who winked slyly in return.
"Clyde!" She yelled prancing over to him. She gracefully threw her arms around him in a hug, "Haven't seen ya in a while babe." I scoffed and walked away from the pair, it was too early in the damn morning to be dealing with their flirty bullshit. Token just chuckled and followed.
Clyde had been fawning over Bebe for years, literal years. It wasn't that he wanted to date her, oh no, he just wanted to fuck. Bebe had known for a while, it's not like he was ever discrete about the fact, and she would often tease him on the fact but over the summer Bebe gave in to Clyde's constant hounding and they finally fucked. I didn't care, really, but when it first happened Clyde went on about it for about a week. About how they were now friends with benefits, his words not mine.
So, while the pair fussed over each other, Token and I continued down the hallway. We came to our lockers soon after, there were three lockers between mine and Token's while Clyde was on the other side of the hall.
Speaking of the devil, he came sauntering down the hallway with a cheesy grin plastered on his face. He saddled up to us, threw a shoulder around each of our shoulders and whispered, "Say boys, shall we go for a smoke before class?"
Normally Token would say no to a smoke before class. He didn't want to 'impair his grades' or whatever bullshit excuse he used at the time. Clyde and I managed to persuade him, though, it was the first day of school, we wouldn't be doing anything important and so it wouldn't matter. The fact that we said everyone would probably be doing it made it even more tempting and so he joined Clyde and I as we made our way out to the back of the school.
Clyde had been bitching about how cold it was from the moment we had left the building. It wasn't even that cold, the school building sheltered us from most of the wind and the sun was shining on this side of the building.
"Stop being a pussy, you pussy, it's not cold" I barked at him from my hunkered down position as I proceeded to roll the joint. I had been nominated the joint roller of the gang because apparently I was the best at it, which I wasn't going to argue about because it was true.
I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was about to nudge me but seemed to reconsider it considering what I was doing. "It is!" He insisted, "Like I said you're just stone cold so you don't notice it."
"It really isn't, Clyde." Token chimed in, "If you're so cold you should have put a thicker jacket on."
"But I didn't think a head!" He pouted, "And Craig would have left be behind if I went inside for a better one." He whined shooting me a glare. As if this was my fault, but it was true I would have left him.
Token just shook his head, "Well at least you'll know now for tomorrow."
Clyde gaped, "You guy's have no sympathy."
Token chuckled and I just rolled my eyes.
After finally rolling the joint to perfection I straightened up and flicked the lighter, lighting the thing up. The first deep inhale is always the worst, but the best at the same time. The burn at the back of my throat is always a welcome feeling. Clyde quickly shut up after spotting me with a burning joint, he knew I wouldn't hesitate to skip his turn if he didn't. It was my weed after all, so I got to choose who got a smoke from it.
Taking a few last drags I held the bitter tasting smoke for a few beats longer than necessary before passing it over to Clyde, who looked relieved whenever I did.
"Nng, oh God, oh fuck." Came the mumbled voice from behind us.
At first I thought it was Clyde burning his fingers on the joint, which wouldn't have been the first time; but when I looked at him and he shook his head I turned to Token. I knew it wasn't him, but maybe he knew who it was. He pointed behind Clyde and I.
When we turned I saw a face I hadn't been expecting too. He was patting down his pockets frantically, a panicked expression taking over his face. I stared, not knowing what to do. I wasn't all that worried about the fact we'd just been caught smoking weed behind the school, Token and Clyde didn't seem worried either. Hell, I don't even think we'd been noticed yet.
He stumbled his way closer before finally looking up when he heard Clyde handing the joint to Token with a 'Here.'
He froze, pale faced and mouth hanging open.
He stood stiffly and stared.
"Tweek." Token muttered gently. "Can we help you with something?"
Tweek stared.
"Have you lost something?" He pressed.
This had to have been the first time I had seen Tweek properly in what felt like years. He had changed. He stood like he was about to collapse at any minute. Legs shaking under the weight of his body. Hands gripped tightly against his chest, I think I noticed a joint clenched between one of them. His hair was just as messing as ever, however, it was weak and dull looking. His build was that of a skeletons, boney, even under the layers of clothes he had onto try and keep himself warm, a jumper and two jackets seriously? I could see that his legs were abnormally thin, his jeans, that I guessed were meant to be skinny, were clinging to his hips bones that I could imagine were jutting out from underneath his sickly pale skin. His face was hollow looking, eyes sunken in and cheeks bones sticking out with those trademark black bags under his eyes. He looked fragile, like he would break at any minute.
I cleared my throat which jolted him out of his trance.
"Um, ah, lighter." He stuttered. Glancing between the three standing in front of him, who I would say were a good foot taller than him.
I shoved my hand into the pocket of my jacket in search for the lighter I'd just used. "Here." I said handing it towards him when I had found it.
He reached a skeletal looking hand out towards me and took the lighter. "Thanks." I heard him whisper as he ducked his head to shelter from the slight wind as he lit up his joint.
I could see the relief wash over his face as he finally took a draw, then handed the lighter back to me with another weak thanks.
"How've you been? It's been forever man." Clyde asked as Token passed our joint back to me.
It had been forever. We hadn't spoken much in middle school after he started to grow distant and not at all throughout high school. Well, I think Token maybe had, he never said anything as Tweek was something of a taboo subject with us, but you could tell he was worried when Tweek would walk past us in the hall and Tokens worried gaze would follow him.
"Nng, good.. I guess," He said it like a question, which I don't think passed over anybody's head. "How've you…" He glanced between Clyde, Token and I, "Been…"
Clyde smiled as nonchalantly as he could manage, "I've been good, school's a bitch but life's pretty good." He tried to joke which only got a weak chuckle out of Tweek.
Dropping the butt of the joint into the snow, whoever's weed it was got to kill it; that was our unspoken rule, I glanced at Clyde who nodded subtly.
"It was good seeing ya man, but we're gonna go back inside before the bell rings." He smiled as he followed me past Tweek and round the corner of the building. Token was slow to follow.
"Look after yourself." I heard him say warmly from the other side of the corner before I spotted him following with a pitiful expression.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
Little did I know that that one small encounter would be the start of something beautiful.
