Disputed Campside Tales of Revelations

Not many people know just what transpired during the first few weeks of the Nohrian and Hoshidan armies and families merging together to face a new, undetermined foe. The events between the slaying of the Vallite God known only as Anonkos and the years of rebuilding afterward are a great speculation to many a scholar.

Some interactions were documented, others were passed verbally by the royals themselves as party gestures and some . . . some are purely conjecture, but still hysterical.

It is noted that Prince Ryoma and Prince Xander fought a lot – especially when it came to Corrin. Camilla and Hinoka, similarly, fought over Corrin. Elise and Sakura fought over who could dress him up as a giant teddy bear better and fought over his approval. Leo and Takumi gave the least amount of fucks when it came to Corrin, but often argued over which country made the better soup.

Here are some of the more notable interactions.

Xander: As the Eldest Brother, it is my duty to see that Corrin receives the best possible Birthday.

Hinoka: You've had Corrin his entire life! Let Ryoma and me handle the Birthday Party.

Camilla: Ah, but sweetie, WE know what's best; what he likes, what he wants . . . you couldn't possibly know . . .

Hinoka: If you hadn't kidnapped him –

Ryoma: We agreed to never bring up the kidnapping again, Hinoka. Xander, we as the heads of our kingdoms need to learn how to work together. Why not turn this into a trust building assignment?

Xander: That sounds like a reasonable request. Camilla?

Camilla: Humph. Sure. Come with me, Hinoka. I'll show you how to rock Corrin's world.

Hinoka: . . . Was that supposed to sound horribly dirty?

Camilla: * chuckles *

Hinoka: I have a bad feeling about this. *leaves with Camilla*

Xander: . . .

Ryoma: . . .

Xander: . . . So . . .

Ryoma: . . . * sigh * . . .

Xander: Where to begin?

Ryoma: You're the so called "expert". You tell me.

Xander: Was that a slight?

Ryoma: Of course not.

Xander: You don't want to work with me, do you?

Ryoma: I want to strengthen our nation's bonds to reduce hostilities and improve upon Corrin's ideal peace. If that means sacrificing my sanity in the process, then I have little choice.

Xander: I am less than thrilled about this, myself. In truth, I had almost forgotten about Corrin's birthday with all that is happening.

Ryoma: How could I possibly forget? My mother – Corrin's biological mother, by the way – celebrated every year, asking us to make a small wish on his behalf and safe return. We would not forget or take him for granted now that we have him back.

Xander: Are you searching for a fight?

Ryoma: You keep bringing it up.

Xander: Passive aggressiveness suits you poorly. Perhaps we should settle this another way.

Ryoma: Any bright ideas, Crown Prince?

Xander: Tch . . . Nothing comes to mind. Let's just focus on the task at hand.

Ryoma: (Coward).

Xander: Did you say something?

Ryoma: Nothing. We'll continue this later. I want to ask Sakura if she has any thoughts on the party.

Xander: Very well. I shall ask Elise.

While the two eldest princes cooled off, the two younger princes kept preoccupied. They spoke to one another only a hand full of times, all with a tense atmosphere and declaration of rivalry. Leo took a stroll with his two retainers – Niles currently pestered Odin and Odin screamed over dramatic phrases.

Leo learned to ignore their antics and was surveying the courtyard.

Leo: Hmm . . .

Niles: Uh, you okay? You seem . . . like you're plotting something.

Leo: . . . Hm . . . If I set up a magic orb here, then I can surprise assault that dillhead dolt Hoshidan Prince. He would never see it coming . . .!

Niles: Ah! You WERE plotting! I'm getting good at this! . . . Well, if I may offer some advice . . .

~~~ . . . .Meanwhile . . . .~~~

Takumi: Heh.

Hinata: Um . . . What are you doing, Lord Takumi?

Takumi: Hehehe. Almost . . . got it.

Hinata: . . .

Takumi: All right, this Ballistae is set up. With the range, trajectory, and current wind strength, this spot should be ideal in nailing that pompous, snot-nosed Nohrian prick!

?: Nice setup.

Takumi: Thanks! . . . Wait a minute . . . that voice . . . Hello Ryoma.

~~~. . . Meanwhile . . . ~~~

Xander: What in blazes are you doing?

Niles: Lord Xander. I tried to stop him, honestly, but he pulled seniority on me. I was completely and utterly defenseless.

Leo: You rat bastard! You offered help! Willingly!

Xander: . . . * disappointed glare * . . .

Leo: Okay, I was just trying to annihilate that jerk Takumi. Is that so wrong? One less imbecile walking the planet, breathing our fresh air? Stupid is a disease, you know . . .

Xander: Keep talking. You keep digging your own grave, making that hole deeper.

Niles: Hehe, that sounded dirty.

Xander: * Glaring intensifies in Niles' direction *

Niles: I said nothing! . . . So, Odin . . . * walks away *

Leo: Well, lesson well learned, I should say. Are you starving, it's about lunchtime, right? I'm hungry, are you hungry?

Xander: * smacks back of Leo's head *

Leo: OW!

~~~ . . . . Meanwhile . . . .~~~

Takumi: That asshole Leo deserves a good arrow in the back! Do you see how he looks at people! It's like, get off your damn high horse already!

Ryoma: Peaceful thoughts, Takumi. We are trying to strengthen our –

Takumi: Bonds. Yeah, I know. You don't even buy into that sack of horseshit! You repeat the same thing mechanically, but if you actually meant it, you wouldn't be at Prince Xander's throat all the time! Lead by example, remember?

Ryoma: Are you saying this is MY fault!?

Takumi: Of course not! But this is impossible! We'll never be friends with those arrogant jerks!

Ryoma: We don't have to be friends; we just have to be civil. This stunt you're pulling – not civil!

Takumi: Ugh, fine!

Ryoma: Put the Ballistae away.

Takumi: But it looks good there, though. You never know when – OW!

Ryoma: * smacks the back of Takumi's head * Take it down. NOW!

Takumi: . . . Yes brother . . .

Ryoma: * sighs * * walks away *

Takumi: This is not over. The war has just begun!

~~~ . . . Meanwhile . . . ~~~

Xander: . . . * sighs * Take down the magic orb. * walks away*

Leo: This is not over.

Niles: Can I voice my opinion, Lord Leo?

Leo: * glares *

Niles: I'll take that as a firm, solid "No". (Just fuck Takumi, all of your sexual tension is giving me a migraine). Well, you heard the man, Odin. Let's take down the magic orb so Leo doesn't get smacked again.

Leo: You're enjoying this way too much.

Niles: Noooo. Never, milord.

Odin: Magic . . . Orb . . . That name! It ill suits such a wondrous object!

Niles: . . . No.

Odin: Such a solemn artifact of its nature deserves a more dignified title! Niles! Help me with the honorific task of giving this magnificent globe of determination prowess a fitting name!

Niles: Oh hell no! Not this shit again!

Leo: * smiles evilly like the handsome devil that he is*

Niles: Don't you dare . . .!

Leo: Oh, Niles. I'm giving you and Odin the "honorable task" of finding a suitable name for the magic orb. Do not leave this spot until your assignment is complete. I'll need to approve the name, as well.

Niles: Oh come on! Lord Leo, I apologize for everything I've done and yet to have done!

Odin: YES! So excited!

Niles: Please, please, PLEASE don't make me do this!

Leo: Have fun, boys! Payback's a bitch, isn't it? I'll be back in an hour!

Niles: SHIT! . . . ugh . . . Fine, let's get this over with.

Odin: GLORIOUS! Let's see . . . The crimson . . . hm . . . no . . . Darktide of . . . Hmm . . . Crimson Darktide?

Niles: Oh, yeah, I like that one.

Odin: But it's a hue of purple! "Crimson" doesn't fit at all!

Niles: Semantics? (Then WHY did you throw that out there in the first place?)

Odin: Not good enough!

Niles: * proceeds to bang head against nearest wall *

. . . Meanwhile . . .

Elise: Oh! How fun! I love wrapping presents! So, Big Brothers, what are we doing for Corrin's Birthday?

Xander: You don't have to refer to Ryoma as "brother", Elise.

Elise: He's close enough, now! The more the merrier, right, Sakura?

Sakura: Y-yes!

Xander & Ryoma: * glances at each other*

Ryoma: We could learn a thing or two from these two.

Xander: Loathed as I am to say it, but yes. We could. So could Leo . . .

Ryoma: * sighs* And Takumi.

Xander: Maybe I should tell you . . . But . . . No . . .

Ryoma: Hm? Should I know something? . . . Actually . . . That reminds me . . .

Xander: Yes?

Ryoma: . . . Takumi has something against Prince Leo.

Xander: I could have guessed. * sighs *

Ryoma: . . . Takumi set up a Ballistae to shoot Prince Leo from afar.

Xander: And Leo set up a magic orb . . .

Xander and Ryoma: . . . *sigh*

Ryoma: We need to set an example. No more fighting. No more bickering.

Xander: Agreed.

Ryoma: Speaking of which . . . I haven't seen Lady Camilla or Hinoka since this morning. Where did they run off to?

Xander: Some things are better left unquestioned.

Ryoma: Prince Xander. Answer me honestly. Is my sister in danger?

Xander: It depends on your definition of "dangerous".

Ryoma: . . .

Xander: . . .

Ryoma: . . .

Xander: . . .

Ryoma: Is Lady Camilla gay?

Xander: Possibly. Though she is mostly called a "shark" or a "predator". Truly, I feel sorry for the man who marries her. * shudders *

Ryoma: I think I'm going to find Hinoka now. * leaves *

Xander: I better check on the twins.

Sakura: T-twins?

Xander: Your brother, Prince Takumi, and Leo. I think it fits them pretty well.

Elise: *laughs* That's funny! I'm gonna so call them that from now one! Hee hee!

~~ . . . Meanwhile . . . ~~~

Odin: Echoes of the Undivine!

Niles: Sure, why not?

Odin: No, too cliché!

Niles: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Corrin: (Um . . . Don't say anything . . . just walk away . . . Don't look him in the eyes.)

Odin: LORD CORRIN!

Corrin: (Shit. Fuck. Kill me now.)

Odin: AHHH! AWWWW! Oooooh! My Fell Hand speaks to me! Have you come up with a name for my awe inspiring pose!?

Corrin: Er . . .No. But I have a lot of things to do before the night is over and um . . . more to do tomorrow. I um . . . So yeah. I'll catch you later.

Niles: Run while you still can. You lucky bastard.

Corrin: (What was his name again? . . .) . . . Niles? What are you doing?

Niles: I've been assigned "naming the fucking magic orb" by your devil of a brother. So I'm stuck here until he gets back – which, by the way, he's 15 minutes late.

Corrin: Ouch.

Niles: No, go on, laugh. I deserve this, right?

Corrin: I don't think anyone deserves this.

Niles: How sweet. You're actually taking pity on me.

Corrin: Not pity. Sympathy. Are you hungry? I could get you something to eat while you're . . . um . . . on assignment?

Niles: Cute, but I'm okay.

Leo: Sorry I'm late. Lost track of time! Oh, hello, Brother.

Corrin: Leo, this is cruel and unusual punishment, don't you think?

Leo: Just teaching Niles about respect. Did you come up with a name yet?

Odin: No.

Niles: He came up with near one hundred. I'm SURE one of those would be to your liking.

Corrin: Why are we even naming the orb? . . . huh, wait . . . why is it even here? I swore that orb was –

Leo: That's not important.

Corrin: But –

Leo: Please, Corrin. We're doing very important work.

Corrin: Come to think of it, there was a Ballistae out of place on the Eastern side . . .

Leo: . . .

Corrin: . . .

Leo: . . .

Corrin: . . .LEO! You and Takumi better not have been trying to kill each other from afar! I know about your spats, but THIS? Seriously!?

Leo: Of course not. That would be childish and I would not entertain such immaturity.

Corrin: . . . Leo. . .

Leo: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to work on battle strategy.

Niles: What about me? Er, I mean, our "Mission"?

Leo: No progress has been made. I'll leave you two at it. Be back in an hour.

Niles: You lying – UGH!

Corrin: . . . Niles? Odin? Tell me the truth. Was Leo attempting to attack Takumi at range with a magic orb.

Odin: I don't think so.

Niles: . . . No.

Corrin: Are you lying?

Niles: No.

Corrin: Are you sure?

Niles: Yes.

Corrin: I don't really believe you, but I guess I have no choice.

Niles: (Damn, I've never really seen Corrin this closely before. Really cute, but young . . . maybe I shouldn't . . . Then again . . . No . . . Bad idea . . . Then again . . . I really want to stick my tongue down his throat)

Corrin: Are you okay?

Niles: Hrn? Oh, yeah . . . Completely fine . . . (So hot).

Corrin: Uh, right, well . . . should I leave?

Niles: Aw, would you really leave me to die?

Corrin: Uh . . . no, but you're not 'dying'.

Niles: I'm being tortured, close enough?

Corrin: True.

Niles: I'm kidding. Just go and do your important duties while I suffer here doing a pointless, annoying task that Lord Leo doesn't actually give a shit about.

Corrin: I'm sorry.

Niles: No, no . . . You don't need to apologize.

Corrin: Are you sure I can't give you anything?

Niles: (Don't say anything . . . Don't say anything . . . WAY too easy of an opening there . . .) Uh, tempting, but I'm fine. * chuckles * Don't worry about lil ol' me.

Corrin: Well, okay. If you're sure. Do try and have some fun?
Niles: Only if that's an order.

Corrin: Heh, sure. Well, until next time, then.

Niles: Yeah, yeah. (Finally . . . Damn, he's got a nice ass, too. I need to avoid him or Leo will be angry at me. How mad would he be if I fucked his brother? . . . bad, bad idea. . . . Then again. . .)

Odin: Illuminous Dark Field!

Niles: Not your best. (SHIT! What am I saying? Encourage to get out of this mess!)

~~. . . Meanwhile . . . ~~~

Camilla: Oh my . . .!

Hinoka: W-wow! You really know what you're doing!

Camilla: Years of practice, love.

Hinoka: This is amazing! You're so gifted with your hands!

Ryoma: . . . Hinoka. . . .? Are you in there?

Hinoka: Hm? Yes brother?

Camilla: What are you doing? Spying on us girls?

Ryoma: I'm not 'spying'. You've been gone for a while and I'm worried.

Camilla: Don't trust me with your doll of a sister. Gorgeous red hair, wild eyes . . . you're keeping her from realizing her full potential.

Ryoma: . . . What?

Hinoka: Just open the door.

Camilla: Oh fine . . . There, happy?
Ryoma: . . . Hinoka . . . is that . . . make-up?

Camilla: Isn't she just breathtakingly gorgeous?

Ryoma: I suppose she is. Well . . . I'm glad you're having fun . . . Sorry for intruding.

Hinoka: It's okay, brother! Oh . . . Look! We're making Corrin a quilt for his room! It's been really drafty lately, so we though he'd enjoy it.

Ryoma: When did you learn to –

Camilla: I'm teaching her. She's a natural.

Ryoma: Oh . . .Very good.

Camilla: We're going to try on corsets, soon. Care to join?

Ryoma: WHAT!? * face turns ripe red *

Camilla: I need to measure her bust to get an accurate sizing, but feel free to stay.

Ryoma: Ugh . . . No! you have fun . . . See you later, Hinoka! * leaves in a hurry *

Hinoka: That was mean.

Camilla: No boys allowed. Unless Corrin shows up. Then he's not allowed to leave.

Hinoka: Why?

Camilla: Because Corrin is gay.

Hinoka: What!?

Camilla: Oh he doesn't realize it, yet, but I'm sure he'll figure it out soon enough.

Hinoka: What makes you so sure?

Camilla: he's always been infatuated with Xander, whether or not he realized it. Oh, and he enjoys teasing Leo and watching him get flustered. That and no matter how many times I flaunt my cleavage in his face, he just doesn't take.

Hinoka: Um. . . You have no proof there.

Camilla: Want to bet me?

Hinoka: Sure, you're on.

Camilla: *Smiles* If you insist. But I know I'm right.

~~~. . . Moments Later . . .~~

Ryoma: I found Hinoka and Camilla. They're fine.

Xander: Girl time?

Ryoma: Yeah . . . How did you know?

Xander: It's written all over your face.

Ryoma: . . .

Xander: Only the Fell Gods could come up with something as heinous as "Girl Time".

Ryoma: Indeed.

Xander: The twins haven't done anything since setting up long range weapons.

Ryoma: Takumi is smart; he's probably coming up with something in its place.

Xander: * sighs * I was afraid of that. Leo is the same way.

Ryoma: We should give them tasks to keep them preoccupied. I can give Takumi kitchen duties – cooking and supply order.

Xander: And Leo can handle the book keeping at the Tomes and Staves Store.

Ryoma: Okay . . .

Xander: Oh . . . And I wanted to talk to you about Corrin.

((((Refer to Support C of Ryoma and Xander.))))

~~~ . . . Meanwhile . . . ~~~

Elise: Okaaaaaay I'm done!~~~

Sakura: W-wow. Do you want t-to get something to eat?

Elise: Hmm, okay! Race you there!

Sakura: Elise! . . . W-wait up!

Corrin: Oomph. Hey Elise. Watch where you're going next time, okay?

Elise: Hello Big Brother!

Corrin: Hello. Oh, Hey Sakura. You guys getting along?

Elise: Of course! *winks*

Corrin: Well . . . That's progress, at least. I'm glad to hear it. What have you been doing?

Sakura: That's a s-secret.

Elise: Yep! We can't tell you that, or else Camilla will tie you up and gag you!

Corrin: . . . Let's avoid that outcome, shall we? Anyway, I've got something to run across Ryoma and Xander. Have fun, you two! * walks away *

Corrin: * walks passed the room Camilla and Hinoka are in *

Camilla: * muffled voice * You just have to hold your breath and suck in your belly. It'll fit, trust me.

Hinoka: This is hard to do! I swear to the Gods, this is the toughest thing I've ever had to do!

Camilla: Deep breath. Exhale. Now . . . Squeeze!

Hinoka: OOF!

Corrin: (I really don't want to know . . . do I?) * hurries up and walks away faster *

Ryoma: So, it is agreed then. We should do an accurate head count of who all will be attending – Ah! Hello, Corrin. What brings you by?

Corrin: Tomorrow we have to sneak into the . . . um . . . place that shall not be named . . . so I wanted to talk strategy. I could always run it by Leo instead if you're busy.

Xander: I will go fetch Leo and . . . Should I have someone find Prince Takumi?

Ryoma: Sure, why not. Trust building exercise.

Xander: My thoughts as well. * leaves *

Corrin: Can I ask you a question non related to the topic at hand?

Ryoma: By all means.

Corrin: Is it just my imagination, or did Leo and Takumi actually set up long range weapons to snipe each other from across the Fortress?

Ryoma: Er, that's um . . . (Damn . . . What do I say?)

Corrin: Okay, I'll take that as a 'yes'. What are we going to do about those two? If Leo and Takumi pull this tomorrow, then it won't just be Leo and Takumi. Leo's retainers will join in and Takumi's retainers will join in. Then the next thing we'll know, Hoshido and Nohr soldiers will be fighting each other, leaving us wide open for v – ah, that place . . . to attack us openly.

Ryoma: I am aware of the situation. Be careful what you say, though, Corrin. You almost slipped up.

Corrin: I'm really bad about that. I know . . .

Xander: I have my retainers searching for them. What did I miss?

Ryoma: Corrin is onto Takumi and Leo. He noticed the Ballistae and Magic Orb.

Xander: Ah. . . Yes. We're handling the twins.

Corrin: Twins? Oh I bet they'll just LOVE hearing that!

Xander: Kind of the point, Little Prince.

Corrin: Hehe. Well, they deserve it. Anyway, I'm trying to figure out the best approach for tomorrow. I don't think the other place has figured out our position yet, so . . .

~~~ . . . One battle council later . . . ~~~

Corrin: Okay, I'm feeling better about this!

Ryoma: Glad to hear it.

Leo: Yes, I am too. Even if someone had the most preposterous propositions I have ever heard concerning strategy. Hoshidans must be innate when it comes to these sort of things.

Xander: Leo! That's enough! By the way, after tomorrow's battle, you are on book keeping duties for Staves and Tomes purchased and shipped in.

Leo: What? Why give me such a menial task?

Xander: I don't want to hear another word from you! Get out of my sight before I use your face as a practice dummy.

Leo: Tch, fine. See you tomorrow, Corrin.

Takumi: Ha! Serves that jerk right!

Ryoma: TAKUMI!

Takumi: Ugh. What?

Ryoma: You are on kitchen duty tomorrow. Bright and early, make sure everyone is fed before battle. If you aren't finished with cleaning the dishes and storing the leftovers, you won't be joining us on the field tomorrow.

Takumi: Oh, come on! Why am I being punished?

Ryoma: You're acting like a spoiled brat! Your actions could very well get you or our comrades killed. Cease this battle you have with Leo, or I will keep you here. Understood?

Takumi: Whatever. Bye.

Corrin: . . . I'm going to get some rest. Thank you. Both of you. For everything. I couldn't have gotten this far without the two of you.

~~ . . . Meanwhile . . . ~~

Leo: Ugh. Damn you, Xander! Clearly I'm being punished for being in the right, but whatever. No good deed goes unpunished, right? . . . Hm . . . I feel . . . Like I'm forgetting about something . . .

Leo: * closes eyes and tries desperately to remember*

Leo: Nope. Nothing. Must be my imagination . . .

~~~ . . . Meanwhile . . . ~~~

Niles: This is bullshit. He said he'd be here THREE hours ago! I'm done. Goodnight, Odin. I suggest you get indoors or you'll catch a cold.

Odin: But the orb is unnamed!

Niles: I don't care. Goodnight!