Author's Note: For someone who taught me how beautiful love can be.
All FN-2187 had ever known was duty. Never once in his existence had he done something because he simply wanted to. In fact, the whole purpose of his existence was to serve, it'd never occurred to him that he could have more.
That is until something greater arose in him.
Because it was wrong, all wrong. The innocent were being mercilessly slaughtered, and something in him ached. But he had no physical harm, nothing he could fix from the outside. It was much deeper than that.
It'd taken a lot, and he almost hadn't made it.
But somewhere throughout the journey, FN-2187's existence had ended, and Finn's life had begun.
Recovery hadn't been easy to say the least. He'd started seeking orders before they'd even gotten him set up in what was now his and Poe's room, despite the fact he was still healing.
It'd been thoroughly explained to him that he needed to rest and that work could wait for him, but that'd done little to settle it in his mind.
Never once in his life had Finn been asked to focus on his own wellbeing.
But there he was, being assigned to the aid of his best friend while he recovered. He'd been doing his best to relax like they'd asked him to, but it wasn't until one day when Poe had brought back some spare parts, that Finn's neves had finally calmed.
He could feel Poe's eyes on him as they sat on the bed, a box of dusty ship parts between them and a pile of freshly cleaned ones to the right, as they wiped off each one.
Finn had allowed himself to be pulled into the task yet again, meticulously scrubbing grime out of every crevice before checking it over once more and finally setting it down.
He nearly jumped when the pilot spoke up,
"They don't have to be perfect, y'know." he said in a friendly tone.
"What?" Finn asked as his mind was pulled from the job. "Oh, sorry. Guess I got carried away."
Poe just shook his head as he added to the clean pile.
"Whatever works for you, buddy. I mean you seem to be more at ease with this than you did just lying here, so be my guest." he motioned to the box.
And he was. Something about having work to do soothed him, even if the task was small.
From then on Poe brought things back to the room as often as he could and they'd sit and work together, chatting all the while.
Usually they spoke of small things, or how the day had gone for each of them, until one day Poe brought up unconditional love and how Finn didn't need to prove himself useful in order to be kept around.
Finn hadn't known what to say, but slowly his stress lessened and the two continued to grow closer.
And in all of his life, never once had he felt so loved.
Months passed by and Finn was finally healed and ready to get to actual work.
He'd ended up being grateful for the time it'd taken to recover because it'd allowed him to spend that much with Poe, who had gone from best friend, to boyfriend in no time.
It had easily been one of Finn's greatest decisions already, though it took a lot more thought than he'd assumed it would. Not the initial choice, but little things after that.
Because Poe had expressed his fear of rushing the ex-trooper into things before he was ready, but Finn only smiled and assured he wasn't.
It wasn't until one night in particular, that Finn really got it.
They were kissing rather passionately on the bed, when Poe's hand absently led his to the man's zipper.
Finn didn't speak, but quickly moved his hand back up to touch Poe's chest again instead.
"Sorry." Finn muttered, hoping he wasn't disappointing the other.
"Not at all." Poe replied, kissing him yet again.
He later went on to say that if something made Finn uncomfortable, he didn't want them doing it.
"Finn, this relationship is not an order. There are no commands to follow, it's not your duty to do anything you don't wanna." he explained softly.
Finn nodded in understanding.
Maybe that was part of unconditional love... Love was not a service, it was something to be shared willingly.
Never once had Finn had that with anyone, but he was more than happy to share it with Poe.
He couldn't help but smile at that, kissing the pilot again and again until they finally sprawled out against the pillows, cuddled close to one another.
And it was in that moment, as Poe pressed one more soft kiss upon his lips, that it hit him.
Finn was there in that moment because he absolutely wanted to be.
There was no one ordering him, no assignment, no consequence.
He genuinely, wholeheartedly wanted to be there kissing this amazing man.
He couldn't stop the tears then, as they kissed, causing Poe to startle at first.
"What's wrong, babe?" he asked gently as he pulled back.
But Finn shook his head, unable to speak. He didn't know what to say because nothing was wrong, it was all so right.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Poe asked again, hugging the other close and softly kissing his tears away.
Finn just smiled.
"Nothing's wrong... It's just, it's beautiful." he laughed lightly. "It's so beautiful."
Because it was.
Loving someone simply because he wanted to. Being there because he wanted to. Being held by Poe because he wanted to.
It was beautiful, and never once in Finn's life had he ever felt so absolutely free.
