DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia because if I did, then there would be way more yaoi.
I seriously don't know any Italian or Spanish, so if I use it wrong, sorry. This doesn't really make any sense in historical sense, so just pretend it's floating somewhere in a rift in time and space.
Spain wheezed, holding his bruised ribs while still managing to keep a warm smile on his face. The cause of his current distress was glowering evily at him, scrunching up as far back into the armchair as he could manage. Romano had recently began what Spain called his 'rebellious stage', although how this was any different from Romano's normal behavior one could only guess.
"It's time for you to go to bed, Romano! A quien madruga!" Spain held his arms out to his charge. Romano slapped his hands aside, shrinking from the older man's touch.
"Don't touch me, stronzo!" The south Italy yelled. "I don't want to sleep! Go away!"
"Not sleepy? Mmm, that is a problem," Spain rubbed his chin in thought, sitting down on the arm of the armchair. "Ah! I know~! Let Boss tell you a bedtime story! That'll make you tired in no time!"
"No! Your stories suck!" The little brunette clamped his hands over his ears firmly, determined to ignore the annoying man.
"But this is a special story! I know you'll love it!" Spain picked up Romano, placing him on his lap while cheerfully ignoring his violent protests. "It's about the birds and the bees. You see..."
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Spain hummed, tucking in the now sleeping Italy into bed. He bent down and placed a goodnight kiss on his young charge's forehead, smiling at the scrunched up look on his face. He quietly closed the door, exiting into the hallway.
Romano's eyes snapped open as soon as Spain had left the room. Merda, what the hell was up with the whole sex thing?! He was now more awake than he had been before Spain had sullied his mind with all those horrible images and words. Damn that stupid Spain, now he would never get to sleep! Wait, didn't Spain say something about men doing it? Whoa, how did that work...?
-----(*A*)-----
"B-But, I'm not s-sleepy..." Canada protested weakly, despite having already allowed himself to be changed into his pajamas and tucked into bed. He hugged Kumajirou close, burying his little face into his soft fur.
"No worries, France'll make everything all better." The older man leaned back in the rocking chair, legs crossed, hands neatly folded. "I've got just the thing," He reached into a rather gaudy bag lying at his feet, withdrawing a large book. On it was written: 'Sex Education for Dorks: Now with 50% more pictures!' in big, green letters. France held it so that the younger blonde could see the contents clearly. "Now, let's start with the male body, shall we?"
Canada eyes became increasingly wider and wider as France read aloud, pointing at illustrations and occassionally adding in gestures. When the bearded man started to make noises, Canada decided that it was time to stop this. Now.
Canada hurriedly closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He really hoped that France would get the point and stop reading.
No such luck. In fact, France was really starting to get into his demonstrations and he was getting really loud.
He whimpered under his breath. Oh, God save him.
From what I can find on Google, 'A quien madruga' is the Spanish equivalent of 'The early bird catches the worm'. I have no idea if it's right or not. You can find a page full of Italian profanity on Wikipedia; quite useful. ^_^ Stronzo translates to bastard; merda means shit.
