Is being locked up together in heaven and Dean being tortured brutally by angels enough to get Cas to admit that he has loved Dean in ways he could never understand? Will Dean survive emotionally? Physically? Fluffy whumpage. No smut. Destiel. No spoilers.
"There's nothing you can do, Castiel." An angel spat at Cas through the bars of a prison cell in heaven.
"Josiah, brother, please don't do this. I thought I was doing the right thing, for our Father. I didn't-"
"Shut up you lying snake!" Another angel interrupted.
Castiel remained calm. "It's Bethany, right? Please have compassion, try to understand-"
"I refuse!" She replied. "You will watch what you love die right before your eyes then after several hundred years of torture. We'll kill you too." She then called over to her left. "Bring him in!"
Two angels dragged the human, who Cas held most dear, between them. His head hung low to his chest and his legs brushed along the polished floor.
"What did you do!?!" Cas' knuckles turned white in his clenched fists.
They pushed Cas back with the use of the grace, that Castiel couldn't summon within the cell himself, pushing him back without losing his balance. They tossed their prisoner towards him and he caught Dean effortlessly in his arms and held him against his chest without losing eye contact with Bethany.
"Enjoy." Josiah mocked and the angels walked away, pleased with themselves.
Castiel kept a strong grimace towards Josiah and the others until they were all out of sight and not a second later his face switched straight to worry for his best friend.
"Dean!" He clambered. He knelt down haphazardly and rested Dean didn't half on his lap and half on the cold floor. The position was awkward but Cas was too concerned to worry about such things. "Dean, what did they do to you?" He held his face with one hand while he looked for any sign of injury before calling out louder. "Dean!"
Dean, twitched as if waking from a nightmare and quickly breathed through his nose as he jolted back into consciousness. "Jesus, Cas. Call off the alarm." Dean blinked his eyes as if the room was too bright and he sat up slowly. Cas knew something was wrong. Dean moved with a stiffness that wasn't normal for him.
"Dean, are you alright?" He was still panicking but kept as much as he could from showing.
"Your buddies weren't very nice." Dean gripped his side as he stood up and Cas noticed him wince. "Didn't know angels used brass knuckles."
Castiel paused. "Neither did I." He rose and placed a balancing hand on Dean's shoulder.
"I take it you can't woosh us out of here."
"That's correct. I can't reach my grace within this cell." He waited for Dean to explain why he seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Let me see." Cas asked gingerly.
Dean winced again. "See what?" Dean had only just been able to stand himself up completely straight and was ready to put on his bravado.
"Your ribs, I assume. What did they do?"
"They used me as their angelic punching bag. Whadda you think they did?" He could joke a little but Cas was not amused.
"You don't have your grace anyway, what's the point?"
"True, but I can still help. Please, Dean?"
Dean sighed but allowed Cas to help him sit on the built in, stone, bed like shelf in the back of their prison cell. It was really more like a bench than a place to call a bed. Cas helped him remove his jacket and that movement alone caused silent agony that, again, Cas pretended not to notice. As Dean lifted his shirt with one hand Cas sat next to him and couldn't believe how bad the bruising was already. The deep purple glowed through Dean's normal complexion like moonlight through stained glass. He was peppered from his right to his left. Some of the marks even resembled the tool itself. Cas lifted the shirts a little further revealing even more bruising that also required immediate attention. For the ribs underneath them were surely broken and could puncture Dean's lungs or other organs at any time. Cas ran his fingers down his deep violet skin counting each rib and searching for obvious breaks with the lightest pressure possible. His icy cool fingertips were both sharp and soothing to Dean and he tried his best not to move or think about how nice it felt.
"Let me guess, black, blue and red all over?" Dean had to focus on something else to keep himself from being aroused by this closeness.
Cas met his eyes and nodded determined to fix it. He removed his ocean blue tie with one swift motion. The trench coat came off next followed by the suit coat.
"Dude, in another life you would have made a great stripper." Dean was all about kidding around right now. Anything to help.
"Was that a flirtation?" Cas paused just before ripping his suit jacket in half.
"What? No! I'm just saying… Ugh nevermind." He huffed as his ears turned red. "Sooo why am I not a bowl full of jelly? They pummeled me, right? Angels. I should be dead."
Cas was focused on the best way to tear up his suit jacket and answered. "They want me to suffer." And Jimmy's suit was ruined.
"You?" Dean was confused.
Cas noticed his accidental slip of the tongue. "I mean, you, they want you to suffer."
"Oh, okay..."
"You've been a thorn in their side for some time now." He sat next to Dean again and wrapped the material around his broken body. "It's all my fault. I should have kept my distance from you. None of this would have happened." He finished by tying his tie around with just enough to make to a knot. He then doubled his trench coat belt around and tied that tightly too. His eyebrows furrowed at the sound it elicited from Dean but he knew it was for his own good. Dean dug the back of his head into the stone and tried not to be too loud.
"Gaahh! I take it back. Hmm! You would have made an awesome nurse."
"Dean, I'm so sorry."
"Nah, you did a great job." He shifted and caught his breath.
"Not that. This situation. It's my fault you were targeted."
"Not really, I was saying no to Michael and pissing them off long before we were friends."
"Yes, but I retrieved you from the pit myself. If I didn't, I wouldn't have left my mark on you."
"How did that happen by the way? You never really told me."
"I… it wasn't supposed to be me. They wanted you to be rescued by Michael and feeling indebted to him you would be more compliant to being his vessel."
Cas paused and looked up from his folded hands between his knees at Dean who was listening intently.
"Okay, and…?" Dean coaxed him for more.
"And myself and a few others didn't agree with that concept. The idea of letting you rot down there and suffer for a planned amount of time. It was inhumane." Cas paused and sighed. "I was the first to find you. While I fought my way back up I held you with one arm to my chest and I battled demons and monsters with the other."
"I don't remember this."
"No. I was evoking my grace to fight but also gripping you so tightly that I ended up transferring some of my grace to you and branding you so to speak, leaving my mark."
"Right. Then what?"
"Afterwards, I sought forgiveness but it was too late. I was demoted. But I couldn't let go of feeling your pain and hearing your thoughts. So I made certain I would be assigned to you. I didn't tell the others. I assumed Michael knew." Cas was standing up by this point pacing the floor followed by Dean's eyes.
"Did he?" Dean asked.
"If he didn't then, he knows now. Wait."
"Hmm?"
"They threatened me. They said… they wouldn't, they can't! You're Michael's vessel!"
"They threatened you? With what? What did they do?" Dean questioned angrily. As if threatening Cas with words was worse than any physical damage he would endure.
"They…" Cas sighed. "They said they wanted me to suffer by watching you die slowly. But they can't."
"Shit." Dean spoke.
"What is it?" Cas stopped in his tracks and faced him.
"They said something kinda the same to me. It just makes more sense now. They said I had to cooperate being whipped around or they would kill me and store me in hell until Michael was ready for me."
"They're going back to their original plan." Cas added and nodded.
There was a silence where Dean was trying to admit something and Castiel waited patiently. "Cas, I can't go back there." Dean said solemnly.
"I know, Dean." He spoke knowingly and sat next to his best friend again. "I know more than anyone."
Dean took a few grounding breaths while he fought back visions of strobing red that would give anyone a migraine in a minute. "One thing I don't get. How is beating me up, torture for you?" Dean looked over tilting his head without moving his aching torso.
"I…I'm not exactly sure. They… must know about our bond by now." Cas stuttered.
"Right…why do I believe that's not the whole truth." Dean grinned a little hoping he was on to something.
Cas' voice changed. "Stop. I can't talk about this right now." Cas suddenly became flustered and it wasn't the cute kind of flustered. He stomped over to the bars, back to Dean and rested his forehead against the bars. Small lengths of brown fuzzy hair peaked out.
"Cas, buddy, calm down. What made you freak out?" After all those years, after all that time, between all the close calls and long shared gazes, Dean was finally, FINALLY beginning to think that Cas might have feelings for him. Dean had always admired the angel but figured nothing but maybe a one night stand could happen between them that would ruin their friendship. Dean never made a move and by the time he had enough courage, they were too good of friends and he didn't want to lose him over one lustful night. Dean needed a friend, a best friend. So like everything else he shoved it down and ignored the feeling his heart had anytime Cas stood too close or fluttered into the room unannounced. He covered it up by acting pissed off, the farthest opposite he could think from his true feelings.
Dean let a moment pass and thought of an idea that might help.
"Hey." He nearly whispered.
"What." Cas replied monotoned and pissy.
"You can still read minds right?"
"Yes, but only during certain occasions."
"Like now?"
"Not in here."
"Oh. I just thought that whatever it is that you can't talk to me about… Couldn't you just read my mind to see how I would take it?"
"I haven't read your mind in a long time, Dean. I've learned since that it's an invasion of privacy."
"Not if I say it's okay." Dean said warmly.
Cas turned around slowly and squinted with his head tilt. Dean continued. "I know you can't now but if you get a chance, if they pull you out of here, even for a second, scan my brain. Okay?"
"If you are certain."
"Totally. But just stay away from my teenage years." Dean grinned at his own humor.
Cas went to reply with a smile but was taken by surprise when he was yanked against the bars from behind and an angel blade placed to his throat. The angel from before, Josiah, gripped onto Cas' hair through the bars so to lift his chin to make plenty of room for a streak of blood to slide down his throat and stain the collar of his clean white dress shirt.
"HEY!" Dean barked and stood at the same time. He did it all too fast and he barely felt his knees crash to the stone floor because the pain in his chest was worse.
"Dean!" Cas yelled.
Dean knelt there, helpless, gripping himself as tight as possible as a petite female angel sauntered into the cell.
"Leave him alone!" Cas ordered. He could feel his grace soaking in because the cell door was left wide open but there was little he could do with the angel blade to his throat. "I don't want to hurt you, sister." He threatened with his eyes shining that bright and blue. Josiah gripped him tighter and let the blade cut deeper.
Dean looked up and saw Cas' eyes all lit up and he knew he had some grace in his system.
"Cas! Do it! Do it now!" Dean yelled before the angel kicked him in the stomach making him double over and fall to the side in pain. Cas reluctantly closed his eyes and concentrated past the surface of agony and searched for the answer he needed. It was buried under so much. He struggled to swim to the bottom of the pool, he was losing air as they started closing the cell door. Cas focused harder and forced himself past all of Dean's barriers to reach his goal. He only caught a glimpse of what he wanted to find and before he could understand it the cell door was slammed shut. Cas flew his eyes open only to find his cell empty. Josiah still held the blade to his throat as the others carried Dean down the hall.
"There is zero hope for you, Castiel." Josiah whispered into his ear before letting him go abruptly.
"Josiah, why are you doing this? You? I thought we were friends." Cas begged from a safe distance.
"You changed, and so did I." Josiah frowned and left him alone as he walked down the hall with his hands in his pockets.
Cas paced the floor again and again trying to understand the hint of the blissful emotion he saw in Dean. If it was so joyful why was it buried so deep and why were there so many thoughts of Cas attached to it? Cas thought through stories and movies or anything containing human culture that might explain it. Then thoughts of Dean being tortured more clouded his thoughts too much and he couldn't concentrate any longer. How was he going to save Dean? He couldn't let him go back to hell. Not again. Cas decided his new goal was to save Dean from ever experiencing hell ever again, at any cost.
About an hour later Cas heard movement come down the hall. He leaned into the bars trying to see. Soon he realized there was only one set of footprints.
"Who's there?" He called out.
There was no answer but Josiah came into view and stopped in front of the cell carrying Dean over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
He spoke assertively. "If you stand back, I'll set the human down gently. Or I can injure him more and toss him in while I hold you to the wall."
Cas replied by taking four large steps backwards.
"Good choice." Josiah opened the door and laid Dean down on the floor, minding his head, just inside of the cell. He took a step back and closed the door just as gently as he placed Dean down.
At the click of the lock Cas ran and fell to his knees alongside his friend.
"What did they do this time?" Cas asked with a lump in his throat as he looked for signs of life.
"They took turns removing and replacing his lungs." Josiah's words were dry and solemn. "I never thought I would see such hate within angels." Cas looked up slowly to meet Josiah's gaze that looked to nowhere. Cas couldn't believe what he just heard and his mouth hung open. Josiah added, "His voice will be quite sore from the treatment as well from...the screaming. I'm… I'm sorry, Castiel."
"Josiah…" Cas whispered then he turned and walked down the hall again.
Cas didn't know what to think of Josiah's change of heart but Dean needed his attention now. He lifted him up bridal style. It only took a few steps then he laid him on the stone bed and rested his head on his thigh. He reached over for his trench coat and covered Dean with it. They had removed Dean's button up shirt and he was only wearing his thin black T shirt now. Underneath was the wrapping Cas made for his broken ribs.
Cas turned down the trench coat blanket and lifted Dean's shirt slowly to reveal the wrapping. He pulled down the top edge to peak and saw solid dark purple mixed with red now. It was getting worse. Having his lungs taken out probably caused him to gasp and overwork his body trying to get something he couldn't attain. That was the last thing his broken ribs needed. Maybe some of the angels didn't realize how fragile humans really are, or worse, they did.
Cas felt warm tears filling his eyes as he covered his friend back up not knowing what else he could do to comfort him. Cas placed one hand across Dean's forehead and the other on his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and didn't allow a single tear to escape.
After a few minutes past Dean's breathing picked up and a low moan reached the back of his lips. His face contorted with pain before he started to open his eyes.
"Dean? Please don't move at all. Can you hear me, Dean?"
Dean's eyes wandered around before landing up to look at the sad face peering down at him.
"Ha-aahh-s?" Dean tried to speak his best friend's name but it didn't come out in but a whisper and broken sounds.
"Don't try to speak. Josiah told me what happened. Please, just lie still."
Dean nodded just a tiny bit, enough for Cas to notice that his palm on his forehead might be infringing on personal space and he quickly removed it.
Cas rushed an apology. "Sorry!"
Dean pouted and made a tiny whining noise in his mouth. Cas squinted, confused.
"You...liked it?" The angel asked, afraid.
Dean nodded a little again and the corner of his mouth tried to smile. So Castiel cautiously placed his hand back and Dean leaned into it and closed his eyes happily. Dean let out a big sigh followed by a few light coughs. Without knowing it Cas subconsciously started to rub his thumb against Dean's hair line. He moved it back and forth only by a quarter of an inch but nevertheless was extremely soothing for Dean who ached greatly.
Dean smiled gently with his eyes closed because he knew the second he shifted or made a sound the caressing would stop and it did when he tried to speak.
"Hhhey." He whispered.
"Don't try to speak, Dean. You've accrued far to much injury on your diaphragm and vocal cords. Just rest. I'll think of a way to get you out of here. I won't sit idly by and allow this to continue." Cas didn't look at Dean while he spoke. His gaze was held towards the bars of their cage. When Dean craned his neck to look more directly at him Cas met his calm eyes.
Dean whispered horsley. "You...know?"
"Know what?"
Dean lifted his arm and tapped the side of his temple slowly without breaking eye contact.
Cas understood. "Did I read your thoughts?" Dean nodded. "Yes, I did. I found what I perceive as happiness but I couldn't determine the reasoning or the true source."
Dean sighed as he let his arm flop down alongside him and shook his head.
He contemplated his next move carefully before reaching up again and shoving a finger into Castiel's chest right along his dress shirt buttons. 'Damn, no tie.' Dean thought as a waited to see if Cas would come to the correct conclusion.
"What is it?" Cas questioned.
Dean rolled his eyes and forced his finger into the angel's sternum again.
"...me?" Cas spoke like a shy young boy getting asked out for the first time in highschool.
Dean nodded a little, just enough, but kept stern eye contact.
"I don't think I understand fully." Cas shuffled around his words nervously. Before Cas could look away or change the subject, before he lost the courage, Dean grabbed a fist full of shirt and pulled Cas' face to his own. The pull was aggressive but the kiss was anything but. Both men poured out their feelings into the kiss that conveyed their mutual longing for one another, then Cas suddenly pulled away and stood up. He took the few strides to the other side of their cell. Put his back in the corner and pressed his hands into his face. He dropped them to see Dean struggling to sit up.
"Dean…" There was so much to be said and the angel had no knowledge of how to express it. Only two words regretfully left his mouth. "We can't." He said wearily and just as out of breath as Dean. Dean looked up to him with a quizzical gaze. "Dean, we can't." Was all Cas could say again.
Dean's horse throat pushed out. "Why!?" He wanted to say more but that's all his contorted insides would allow and he clasped at his ribs with the hand that wasn't supporting him to stay sitting upright. His diaphragm didn't even have the strength to cough properly.
"Don't do this. Not now. You're hurt. Please, Dean." Cas begged still back to the wall as if his worst nightmare was approaching him.
Dean slammed his fist into the stone bench and Cas felt it in the floor.
"Dean, no. You will regret it."
Dean's eyes were squeezed tight, chin to chest, and he swallowed back the physical and emotional barrage with wet eyes.
Cas changed from fearful to gentle."However, let me say this." He took small slow steps forward that matched his rising confidence. "I have… loved you, for longer than you know, more than you think you could ever deserve, more deeply than you could ever understand and in ways that you could never fully comprehend. And I'm sorry you picked up on that. It was never my intention… I couldn't have dreamed that you would ever in the millennia of my lifetime ever reciprocate a fraction of that back to me because an actual shared love would be volatile and near pointless. I would never want to hurt you or make your short life have to hold such grief as you and I together. Dean, we can't and as soon as we get out of here I'll wipe your memory of this conversation and… of the kiss we shared." Cas was now standing just in front of his best friend but still had not seen Dean's reaction to anything he had said because Dean had kept his face hidden the whole time.
Dean's silent rage had remained bottled up long enough.
"No!" He growled as he reached up and grabbed onto Cas' shirt, this time with two hands, and pulled himself up to stand. Cas quickly supported his weight by holding him around his waist. Dean let his body tilt into him and they were fully against one another.
"No." He said softer, green eyes blaring just as angrily as his words.
"You'll regret it." Cas shook his head ever so slightly and he looked on at Dean.
"No." Dean added extra strength behind it and tiny streaks of tears showed on his face. "Never." He said as clearly as he could. Dean met Castiel's eyes both wrought with everything from pure love to pure frustration. Dean whispered as his eyes became more glossy. "Don't." He begged.
"You need to rest." Cas looked away.
He carefully eased Dean back down to sit and then lay down fully. He simultaneously slipped the trenchcoat beneath his head like a special ceremony. Dean had not let go of his shirt with either fist this whole time and especially refused to now. Cas leaned over him uncomfortably.
"Dean, let go." Cas was solemn if not patient. "I would erase your memory now if I could. I don't wish you to be upset."
"Don't…" Dean coughed weakly. "You… dare." His eyes portrayed the threat his voice couldn't. Cas glared back and met his alpha male on the even playing field where they were equally matched. Suddenly, Dean's breathing became quick and short and it forced him to lose his focus and his grip. Soon the coughing twisted up into a sound that was reminiscent of suffocation. The broken ribs must have punctured something inside.
Cas started to panic and grabbed Dean's shoulders. "Dean? Dean!" Cas looked around for something, anything, anyone that would help. Just then, Cas heard a familiar voice.
"Bring him here." Josiah spoke swiftly as he kept watch of the hallway.
Cas shot his neck around and obeyed by lifting Dean's arm over his shoulder and carrying him to the cell's barred wall as far as possible. Josiah laced his hand between the bars and placed his palm on the crown of Dean's bowed head. His breathing hitched once more and then eased as Dean lost consciousness.
"Thank you, Josiah." Cas was incredibly relieved. He looked down and smiled at Dean resting in his arms.
"Now, I'm setting you free. Follow me and carry your human." Josiah ordered and Cas obeyed again wordlessly, adjusting his grip on Dean.
It was fairly simple enough for two angels to sneak a human out of heaven without being seen, but the consequences would be great. The angels parted and Cas flashed them back to the bunker.
After a quick explanation of where they had been and why Sam couldn't find them the younger brother helped Cas carry Dean to his bedroom. Cas turned to leave and didn't plan on returning. He was gone before Sam could notice or offer a word in protest.
It was three days later when Dean jumped to answer the knock at the bunker door. He had honestly lost sleep over waiting for Cas to come back. There he was. The Angel of the Lord was back home. He stood a little crooked and there was a little blood around the corners of his mouth his eyes rolled upwards just as Dean reached out to catch him.
"Hey, no-no-no-no-no." Dean balanced them both without falling. "You idiot. Where the hell were you?" He pulled him inside and kicked the door shut while tossing his arm over his shoulders.
Cas found his feet again but leaned on Dean as much as needed to make it down the iron steps. "Heaven, mostly." He replied roughly.
"We just got out of there, man!"
"I know."
"What were you thinking?"
"I had to."
"To what?"
"End them." Cas' reply was short and spoken too easily. It was missing a heaviness and threatening tone that should accompany such a dark thought, but it was absent. Cas answered it like someone had asked what time it was.
Dean's face filled with confusion and his eyebrows crossed. He carefully placed the broken angel in the closest chair on wheels. Dean grabbed the short glass of whiskey he had been staring into and blotted the end of his sleeve into it. He pressed the wet flannel cuff into the cut on Cas' lip, dipped again then pressed it into his forehead where there was a cut as well.
"What? Since when...ugh. Who did you fight? Angels?"
"Yes." Cas replied slowly. It was obvious now to Dean that he must have gotten hit in the head a few times, he was acting drunk.
"Okay, well. Just… Don't move, I'll get you some ice." Dean turned towards the kitchen but Cas grabbed his hand in one swift movement.
"I killed them, Dean. Every single last one that laid a finger on you. I left a warning for any others. This won't happen again. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that you were hurt because of me and-"
Dean cut him off. "Cas, it's okay. I'm fine. Remember, you saved me? You didn't have to go back." Dean squared his shoulders and didn't try to wiggle out of his hand.
"I did."
"That doesn't make sense." Dean scoffed.
"So you could sleep." Cas looked straight into his eyes. "Dean, when you…" Cas was afraid to reveal this secret to Dean but he promised if he survived and made it back to the bunker he would. "You pray to me in your sleep, in your nightmares. I hear you, every night, and… I always come."
Dean backed away. "You come into my dreams?"
"No, I come to your bedside and I answer your prayers. I make the nightmares go away. What they did to you, in heaven, would have haunted you in your sleep just like every other unspeakable pain you suffer again and again, silently in your nightmares. I could physically stop it from happening this time. I could do something about it. So I did. You don't have to have nightmares about angels torturing you because those that did are gone and those that would are too afraid to even think it.
"C-Cas…" Dean stood still not knowing how to reply. It was strange but it really was a perfect gift and one of the most wonderful things anyone had ever done for him.
"One more thing…" Cas stood slowly to meet him. He kissed the human chastly on the cheek. "Seeing how passionate you were about it made me think. If it's still something you want...I would like to pursue an even more profound relationship with you. Please. If that's what you want."
Dean had to hold back tackling him to the ground but in an instant he gathered up that fluffy brown, messy hair in one hand and that thin waist with the other while clashing their together. The touching and kissing was immediately reciprocated.
A slow clap came from the far side of the library and they departed lips but not arms to simultaneously look at a smiling Sam.
"It's about freaking time!" Sam acclaimed.
"Well, actually, it has been, I mean, he didn't know that-" Cas began to answer nervously but Dean cut him off.
"Shut up, Cas."
