Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji does not belong to me.


Ciel could remember that once he had been scared of his parents never being by his side. It had seemed impossibly scary and the idea of them being dead had brought him to tears. Yet when it had finally happened and Ciel had gone through hell and back, and returned with Sebastian, Ciel found that while it was undeniably hard, it was not unbearable. Even though he was alone.

And yes, deep down, he was alone. The help--Bard, Meirin, Finnian, and Tanaka--really were nothing to him. Just help that really were of no help at all. Just people who existed in his life for no real reason. He did not /know/ them and they did not /know/ him. But that was fine. It was not painful.

Most would argue that he did have Sebastian. That that butler was usually by his side. How could one feel any isolation with such a sturdy presence around? Indeed, that was most likely the very thing people thought if they were to think about the situation any. Yes, with Sebastian, how could you need anything else?

But demons did not love. For they had no real heart, no room for real emotions. Such things were useless to a demon. And so Sebastian did not care for him and if Ciel wanted to be honest, he did not really care for his butler as well. He most certainly did not love him.

He could not deny, though, that he was lonely somewhere deep down. Not a sort of drowning feeling. He definitely did not start crying and he definitely did not let his loneliness nag him for too long. There were far worse things than being alone. He would not allow loneliness to matter so much.

But there was nobody to turn to. Nobody to tell him everything would be alright after a nightmare. Nobody would do such a thing just to comfort him. Sebastian definitely would not. Other than what was necessary as a butler, Sebastian did not concern himself with emotions. Ciel knew that. Ciel knew that even if he ordered Sebastian to just hug him and coo to him and tell him how everything would be better, Sebastian meant none of it. Sebastian would probably let out that cruel little chuckle later on how silly and childish his young master was in private. Sebastian was cruel.

Sebastian was a demon. A demon could not care. Would never care.

And in the middle of a chaotic mess with Meirin begging for forgiveness, Bard trying to look as if nothing happened, and Finnian pouting, Ciel just looks on at the people with an annoyed disinterest.

"Young master? Is something the matter?" Sebastian asks suddenly and when Ciel looks at him, the demon does nothing but offer the amount of interest he is forced to give. Nothing more. For there will never be more.

"Of course not. Get this mess cleaned up," he says and walks away, not bothering to see Sebastian answer with a low bow. Not bothering to see his act of a faithful butler.

That is all it will ever be after all. Just a clever little act from a demon. And Ciel guesses that maybe /that/ was painful, just a little anyway.