Author's Notes: Okay, this is just a spoof of some fics I've read that have the gundam pilots reading yaoi fanfiction and getting really angry about it. Well, what I've done is imagined that the series was a fictional one based on what really happened to the pilots. Then, I have them getting together and reading some of my fics. I would have liked to use other people's fics as well, but I would have had to ask permission first, and I couldn't wait. Unlike those other fics, the pilots don't necessarily get angry about all of the fics, although I know they will be about some of them. Anyway, this is a humorous and odd fic that I may eventually do a sequel for. I don't know.
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, AU, comedy, romance
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6+5/5+6, reference to other *fictional* pairings
Warnings: Possible OOC but I don't think so. Shonen ai and references to lemons and limes and odd pairings that they are reading about. If you haven't read the fic, you may be confused, but you'll still get the gist of why they react the way they do.
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Yaoi Fanfiction
Part 1: And They All Came
"What are you doing?" Duo frowned from the doorway, blinking at his lover and partner as he found Heero seated in front of his laptop. Trowa and Quatre were supposed to be there any minute, and Wufei had been sitting in the driveway when he'd gotten back from some last second shopping. Heero turned sharply at his voice, almost jumping and Duo raised an eyebrow. Obviously, whatever the boy was doing, he'd been so engrossed in it he hadn't heard Duo's arrival. That spoke of how serious it was. "Heero, you're blushing."
With a low growl, Heero shook his head, his face heating more as he suddenly pushed the button, the printer he had hooked to his computer spitting out page after page of print. "I was checking my email," he said slowly, sighing as Duo stepped forward and leaned over him, one arm trailing down his chest. "Relena sent me a rather vague message, telling me to go to a site on the internet."
"Relena? Isn't she too busy to be surfing the net?" Duo frowned, wondering what had been important enough to cause the girl to break her busy routine. It wasn't often that they even heard from her. "And? Where'd she want you to go?"
"To a site," Heero repeated, his eyes narrowing as he felt his cheeks grow warm again. "It's an...archive...of writers who write stories about things they've seen or read, www.fanfiction.net."
"Wow, I've heard of fan-fiction. But why would Relena want you to go read some stories?"
"Because. They're about us." The boy beside him tensed, and Heero nodded slowly. "She gave me the name of a specific author, and Duo...those stories...fics...they're..."
"Heero? Just spit it out."
"No," Heero said quickly, shaking his head as he clicked onto another of the stories he'd copied, printing it as well. "I'm going to print some of these, and I think we should read them, all of us."
"Well, that's cool. Wufei's already here, and Quatre and Trowa shouldn't be too long." Duo smiled when Heero looked surprised. "Yep, he said he knocked for a good five minutes. Guess you were distracted."
"You can say that again..."
* * *
Heero carried the papers, having stapled the different stories together, and he handed them out silently, without explaining. But then, he didn't really need to since Duo had already told the other three about Relena's message. As it was, they were also eager to know what was being written about them. While their plan had been to simply get together and visit, it was apparent they would be spending their time a bit differently.
"What's yaoi?" Quatre asked, frowning at the story Heero had handed him. The first thing on the page had been the category of the story and while the name Gundam Wing was obvious to him, as he had a secret love of Japanimation, he didn't understand the other word.
"It..." Heero cleared his throat, wishing he didn't have to be the only one who'd heard of the word before. "It basically tells about the type of...relationship...yaoi...it means two guys...as apposed to a male and a female." The blonde boy was staring at him, and he felt his face heat yet again when Wufei snorted softly. "It does."
"Cool," Duo laughed, looking at the stiff boy seated beside him. "And Relena reads stories about gay guys? That's unbelievable!"
"Just read." Heero didn't look up, his jaw tightening as he waited for the next outburst. He already imagined how the others would react to the stories, he hadn't even read them all, and he'd been fighting an intense nosebleed. Of course, they'd soon figure out why he had three boxes of kleenex set in the middle of the table beside the coffee pot and cups. He imagined it would be a long night.
"What do the numbers mean?" Trowa asked, frowning slightly. It was evident that the writer used them with ease, and he didn't doubt that there were people who understood the meanings. He, however, wasn't one of them. "One x two?"
Again, it was Heero who was left with the explaining, and this time he didn't blush at all, smirking at Duo. "The numbers," he said slowly, "refer to us. I am the 1, for being pilot 01, Duo is 2, Trowa, you're 3 and Quatre is 4 and Wufei is 5."
"I get it," Duo said, smiling widely as he looked at all of them. "It's what OZ dubbed us, the numbers for us pilots."
"Right," Heero nodded, still looking pleased.
"But what is the x?" Wufei's eyes narrowed when Heero suddenly looked ready to grin, and he wondered if he really wanted to know.
"This one took me a bit longer," Heero admitted. "But a plus sign means friendship or liking someone romantically, the first number being the one liking the second number. And an x means sex, the first one...dominating...the second." Duo choked, and he suddenly did smile, if only for a second.
"What?!" Wufei's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he took a long drink of the cup set to his left, swallowing till his throat was scalded. "Then this...1x2 means you and Duo?!"
"Yes."
Duo slowly smiled, and his eyes glinted as he now understood why Heero had looked so smug. Obviously his lover was proud to be the "dominant" one, not that Duo had ever found reason to complain.
"Then the 3x4 means..." Quatre blushed, his voice trailing off as he gave a slow and shy smile at Trowa, shaking his head. "I guess this author has done his homework."
"Hers," Heero said, frowning again. "I think it's a girl. Relena thought so, and she's probably right. In fact, from what little Relena *did* say in her note, most of the people who write these stories are female."
"Really," Duo said, his voice surprised. "Wow. Okay, so what's the lemon mean, Heero?"
"Sex."
The boy had said it so simply that Duo couldn't help but smile. "Where did *that* come from? Sex is lemon? But lemons are sour." Heero snorted.
"...who the *hell*...is number six?"
Everyone turned to look at Wufei, no one missing how pale the boy was and they looked again to the story they held, the 6x5 suddenly making them wonder as well.
"Zechs," Heero said.
"Ack!"
Duo laughed suddenly, loving how red the Chinese boy was and the way he seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Man, Wufei, why didn't you tell us you and Zechs had a thing going on? I thought we were friends."
"You slept with Zechs?" Quatre looked confused, and he glared at Trowa when the tall boy let out a sharp laugh. "Well?"
"I did not!" Wufei shouted, pinning the blonde with an intense glare as he clenched the edge of the table. "It's a lie!"
"Calm down," Heero said smoothly. "These stories are fiction, meaning they aren't truth. Keep reading, though. If you think that's bad, wait till you get to the actual story."
"The...warning is bad enough," Duo said, his voice soft as he felt his own face turning red. "Heero...1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 1x5...6x1?! You *never* let me be on top so why the *hell* would *Zechs* get to be?!"
Heero turned a bit pale, then pink, and he shook his head quickly, fighting the urge to move his chair back. "It's fiction, Duo. Remember?"
"Besides," Quatre said slowly, his own hot face not helping any. "Duo...there's a...4x2..."
"What?!"
The blonde boy blushed darker as both Trowa and Duo stared at him, then they looked down at the paper they held and cursed. "I didn't do anything," he said defensively. "I don't know *what's* wrong with this person, writing stuff like that."
"Zechs is with everyone," Wufei said, relief audible as he scanned the warning to the story. "Not just me."
"But those aren't the *main* pairings," Heero reminded him, then he smirked and turned so he could look at his wide-eyed lover. "Duo, did you notice what position you have...in *all* of the pairings?"
"Wha...? What?! Damnit, why am I always on bottom?! I'm as much of a man as any of you!" The many raised eyebrows made him glare, and he pinned Quatre with a dark gaze. "And there's no way I wouldn't be able to dominate *you*."
"Hey!" Quatre cried, folding his arms over his chest. "What are you trying to say, Duo?"
"Just read the actual story," Heero said again, not wanting a fight to break out. "And remember that this is fiction."
"Fine, but we'll discus this later." Quatre scowled at Duo again, then looked down at the pages in his hands. Then the American suddenly laughed, and he blinked, glancing up in surprise. "What?"
"This title!" Duo choked, grinning widely. "And They All Came! Damn that's great!"
Heero smirked, but didn't say anything. He'd expected Duo to get a kick out of that, but he wondered if the boy would get the double meaning after reading the actual story. Still, it was a long story.
"Is...Dorothy and Relena..." Wufei seemed to have trouble asking the question, and his face looked a bit greenish. "Are they in this story with...us?"
"Oh yuck!" Duo bent forward, making retching noises as he gagged violently. "Eww...that's *so* gross! I ain't reading *that*!"
"They are just mentioned in the end," Heero said, agreeing with the boy's disgust. "And PWP...that means point what point, saying there isn't a real reason for the story." No one had asked, but he assumed they wouldn't know. Again, he was glad Relena had thought to do a *bit* of explaining before she'd sent him to the site.
"Is this her name?" Trowa seemed calmer than the others, but then, he usually *did* seem calm. "Arigatomina?"
"Yes," Heero nodded, his eyes glinting suddenly. "She's using two Japanese words, probably because Gundam Wing originated in Japan."
"What *is* Gundam Wing?" Duo asked suddenly.
"It's an anime series about us and the war," Heero said quickly, hoping they wouldn't find out he'd watched it. There had been simply too much of an implied relationship between him and Relena for him to be comfortable with it, and he could imagine how badly Duo would take *that*. "That's not important, though. Her name, it's thank you and everyone."
"I get it," Duo smiled, "Arigato and mina. That's cool. But didn't she spell thank you wrong? She has it with a u in her email address."
"Who cares," Wufei muttered, leaning forward to rip a kleenex out of the box nearest him. "Read the first page. Trowa, you move much too fast."
"What?" Trowa raised an eyebrow at the boy, then he blinked as he saw that Wufei was stemming a nose bleed. He turned his eyes to the page quickly, then he felt himself grow warm as well, not quite as bothered as the black-haired boy as the scene was something of a turn on. "Oh."
"Trowa..." Quatre smiled warmly, scooting his chair closer to the tall boy and wrapping an arm around his waist, "This is so sweet. You came just for me..."
"Oh my God!" Duo laughed suddenly, breaking the silence which had gone undisturbed aside from the sounds of kleenexes being pulled from boxes. They'd been reading. "Trowa...that's so corny, man. 'Quatre, you were made for loving'! Damn, you wouldn't actually *say* something like that...would you?" Duo's eyes suddenly widened as the tall boy's cheeks slowly darkened, and he turned, staring at Quatre's pleased smile. "You two...are so..."
"Sappy," Heero supplied, remembering the term. "Most stories about them tend to have tons of sap."
"Sap, sweet stuff, that sounds about right." Duo grinned, getting over his surprise as he cleared his throat, then he choked suddenly as he read the next scene. "Wufei?!"
"No!" The black-haired boy was beet red, and he shook his head quickly, holding a kleenex firmly to his nose. "I *never*...stared at you...well...that is..."
"Hn." Heero's eyes narrowed a bit, but he didn't let it bother him. Looking was fine, it was only if the boy acted on his attraction that he would have to kill him. And, as he'd told them before, it wasn't real.
"Damn...Wufei..." Quatre blushed, then he looked up at Duo in something akin to awe. "Are you really so bold? Offering to...help...him with his...problem...?"
"With me, he is," Heero said sharply, enjoying the way the long-haired boy stared at the table in embarrassment. "It gets worse...Wufei, you might want to take the entire box for the next part." The boy in question looked very worried, and Heero didn't so much as smirk when he pushed a box closer to Wufei. "I'm serious."
"Heero! You and Wufei?!" Duo had scanned ahead, and he stared at the printed words, picturing his lover dominating a lustful Wufei in a shower room. "Damn..."
"Hentai...isn't it." Heero smirked a bit, trying to hide how much his body was trying to react to the scene he was reading. While he didn't love Wufei, he had to appreciate the description.
**a few pages later**
"Okay, what's with this girl and bondage?" Duo asked, holding three wadded tissues to his nose as he shook his head slowly. "And why is it always Quatre? I mean, why not tie Heero up, or Trowa?" The two boys glared at him, but he scowled. "Seriously, I mean, Quatre *wanted* to be tied up. That's no fun..." The blonde boy was choking, hands hiding his face so only his pink forehead was visible. "And this...threesome...Trowa and Zechs *both* doing Quatre? This is crazy..."
"...." Trowa scowled at Duo, then rubbed the slim back beside him as Quatre finally managed to calm enough to glance up. "Quatre, I wouldn't."
"Why not?" Quatre frowned, ignoring Trowa's choked expression. "It's not like I'd be against a little playing, Trowa. After all, this author's right about one thing, I'm not afraid of a little pain. You don't always have to be sweet and gentle with me, you know."
"Quatre..."
"Not that I don't *love* sweet and gentle," the blonde said quickly, smiling, "but we could try this, *without* Zechs, however. Thank you, but no. He really isn't my type."
"I'd hope not," Duo grinned, his eyes flying over the next page or two. "Because from the looks of this, he's seeing Wufei kinda steady. I mean, Zechs is like a lecher or something." Wufei groaned, bowing his head, and Duo's grin widened. "You go, Wufei. After all, it would take quite a *man* to satisfy this guy."
"Maxwell...don't make me kill you..."
Heero raised an eyebrow, but he wasn't worried as Wufei hadn't so much as glanced up. He was very glad he had extra boxes, as the Chinese boy had used up one all by himself, the other two depleted rapidly by the multiple sex scenes they'd read. "Wait, the next one is Wufei and Quatre."
"What?" Trowa glared at the dark-eyed boy beside him, holding still only because Wufei looked as shaken by the news as Quatre did. "Let me read this..."
**more pages**
"I just don't know what to say," Duo murmured, staring at the blushing Trowa. "The thought of you acting like this...damn. And Heero," he turned to his lover, pleased that the Japanese boy was just as embarrassed. "Are you into voyeurism? I know this is just fiction, but you did squirm a lot when you read over it. Watching Trowa hold me down? I never would have expected it from you."
"Duo...you are a baka."
"Maybe," the longhaired boy shrugged, "But Trowa's a tease. I mean, having sex with Wufei, right there in the hallway? I don't care if you *were* drunk. That's just...so...not like you."
"You'd be surprised," Quatre said slowly, his pale blue-green eyes glinting as he enjoyed his tall lover's embarrassment. "You should have seen him the other day when I was shopping for clothes. He couldn't even wait until we got to the car. I bet the person who cleans those changing booths was shocked." Duo choked, staring at him in disbelief, and Quatre blushed, still smiling. "Yes, Trowa can be wild when he's...aroused."
"Okay, but why the hell, if Heero and I are one of the main pairings, did this girl make our...lemon...last?" Duo frowned, glaring at the page. "Does she not like us? I mean, Quatre and Trowa got to be first, and Wufei and..." He smiled suddenly, his voice taunting as he stared at Wufei. "...Zechs were in the middle. But I didn't get Heero until dead last."
"Who knows," Quatre said. "What I want to know is why she had *Relena* of all people, teaming up with *Dorothy* to record us having sex. There's no way..."
"I think that's why Relena read the story," Heero nodded. "The warning about Relena bashing was about the end. I think the author doesn't like her."
"This has been the most...unjust thing I have ever read." Wufei scowled at the others, folding his arms over his chest. "So, we are going to hunt this Arigatomina down, right? That's why you had us read this, isn't it Yuy."
Heero shook his head slowly. "This is just one of the stories, wait until you read some of the others. But not yet. I think we should get Zechs over here for the others." Wufei had turned pale, but he nodded. "He deserves to know, doesn't he?"
"...."
"Right," Duo smiled, nodding as if agreeing with Wufei's unspoken response. "Then it's settled. I'll call him now." The boy jumped out of his seat, but Duo was already running for the telephone. "I'll just be a second!"
* * *
TBC
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, AU, comedy, romance
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6+5/5+6, reference to other *fictional* pairings
Warnings: Possible OOC but I don't think so. Shonen ai and references to lemons and limes and odd pairings that they are reading about. If you haven't read the fic, you may be confused, but you'll still get the gist of why they react the way they do.
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Yaoi Fanfiction
Part 1: And They All Came
"What are you doing?" Duo frowned from the doorway, blinking at his lover and partner as he found Heero seated in front of his laptop. Trowa and Quatre were supposed to be there any minute, and Wufei had been sitting in the driveway when he'd gotten back from some last second shopping. Heero turned sharply at his voice, almost jumping and Duo raised an eyebrow. Obviously, whatever the boy was doing, he'd been so engrossed in it he hadn't heard Duo's arrival. That spoke of how serious it was. "Heero, you're blushing."
With a low growl, Heero shook his head, his face heating more as he suddenly pushed the button, the printer he had hooked to his computer spitting out page after page of print. "I was checking my email," he said slowly, sighing as Duo stepped forward and leaned over him, one arm trailing down his chest. "Relena sent me a rather vague message, telling me to go to a site on the internet."
"Relena? Isn't she too busy to be surfing the net?" Duo frowned, wondering what had been important enough to cause the girl to break her busy routine. It wasn't often that they even heard from her. "And? Where'd she want you to go?"
"To a site," Heero repeated, his eyes narrowing as he felt his cheeks grow warm again. "It's an...archive...of writers who write stories about things they've seen or read, www.fanfiction.net."
"Wow, I've heard of fan-fiction. But why would Relena want you to go read some stories?"
"Because. They're about us." The boy beside him tensed, and Heero nodded slowly. "She gave me the name of a specific author, and Duo...those stories...fics...they're..."
"Heero? Just spit it out."
"No," Heero said quickly, shaking his head as he clicked onto another of the stories he'd copied, printing it as well. "I'm going to print some of these, and I think we should read them, all of us."
"Well, that's cool. Wufei's already here, and Quatre and Trowa shouldn't be too long." Duo smiled when Heero looked surprised. "Yep, he said he knocked for a good five minutes. Guess you were distracted."
"You can say that again..."
* * *
Heero carried the papers, having stapled the different stories together, and he handed them out silently, without explaining. But then, he didn't really need to since Duo had already told the other three about Relena's message. As it was, they were also eager to know what was being written about them. While their plan had been to simply get together and visit, it was apparent they would be spending their time a bit differently.
"What's yaoi?" Quatre asked, frowning at the story Heero had handed him. The first thing on the page had been the category of the story and while the name Gundam Wing was obvious to him, as he had a secret love of Japanimation, he didn't understand the other word.
"It..." Heero cleared his throat, wishing he didn't have to be the only one who'd heard of the word before. "It basically tells about the type of...relationship...yaoi...it means two guys...as apposed to a male and a female." The blonde boy was staring at him, and he felt his face heat yet again when Wufei snorted softly. "It does."
"Cool," Duo laughed, looking at the stiff boy seated beside him. "And Relena reads stories about gay guys? That's unbelievable!"
"Just read." Heero didn't look up, his jaw tightening as he waited for the next outburst. He already imagined how the others would react to the stories, he hadn't even read them all, and he'd been fighting an intense nosebleed. Of course, they'd soon figure out why he had three boxes of kleenex set in the middle of the table beside the coffee pot and cups. He imagined it would be a long night.
"What do the numbers mean?" Trowa asked, frowning slightly. It was evident that the writer used them with ease, and he didn't doubt that there were people who understood the meanings. He, however, wasn't one of them. "One x two?"
Again, it was Heero who was left with the explaining, and this time he didn't blush at all, smirking at Duo. "The numbers," he said slowly, "refer to us. I am the 1, for being pilot 01, Duo is 2, Trowa, you're 3 and Quatre is 4 and Wufei is 5."
"I get it," Duo said, smiling widely as he looked at all of them. "It's what OZ dubbed us, the numbers for us pilots."
"Right," Heero nodded, still looking pleased.
"But what is the x?" Wufei's eyes narrowed when Heero suddenly looked ready to grin, and he wondered if he really wanted to know.
"This one took me a bit longer," Heero admitted. "But a plus sign means friendship or liking someone romantically, the first number being the one liking the second number. And an x means sex, the first one...dominating...the second." Duo choked, and he suddenly did smile, if only for a second.
"What?!" Wufei's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he took a long drink of the cup set to his left, swallowing till his throat was scalded. "Then this...1x2 means you and Duo?!"
"Yes."
Duo slowly smiled, and his eyes glinted as he now understood why Heero had looked so smug. Obviously his lover was proud to be the "dominant" one, not that Duo had ever found reason to complain.
"Then the 3x4 means..." Quatre blushed, his voice trailing off as he gave a slow and shy smile at Trowa, shaking his head. "I guess this author has done his homework."
"Hers," Heero said, frowning again. "I think it's a girl. Relena thought so, and she's probably right. In fact, from what little Relena *did* say in her note, most of the people who write these stories are female."
"Really," Duo said, his voice surprised. "Wow. Okay, so what's the lemon mean, Heero?"
"Sex."
The boy had said it so simply that Duo couldn't help but smile. "Where did *that* come from? Sex is lemon? But lemons are sour." Heero snorted.
"...who the *hell*...is number six?"
Everyone turned to look at Wufei, no one missing how pale the boy was and they looked again to the story they held, the 6x5 suddenly making them wonder as well.
"Zechs," Heero said.
"Ack!"
Duo laughed suddenly, loving how red the Chinese boy was and the way he seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Man, Wufei, why didn't you tell us you and Zechs had a thing going on? I thought we were friends."
"You slept with Zechs?" Quatre looked confused, and he glared at Trowa when the tall boy let out a sharp laugh. "Well?"
"I did not!" Wufei shouted, pinning the blonde with an intense glare as he clenched the edge of the table. "It's a lie!"
"Calm down," Heero said smoothly. "These stories are fiction, meaning they aren't truth. Keep reading, though. If you think that's bad, wait till you get to the actual story."
"The...warning is bad enough," Duo said, his voice soft as he felt his own face turning red. "Heero...1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 1x5...6x1?! You *never* let me be on top so why the *hell* would *Zechs* get to be?!"
Heero turned a bit pale, then pink, and he shook his head quickly, fighting the urge to move his chair back. "It's fiction, Duo. Remember?"
"Besides," Quatre said slowly, his own hot face not helping any. "Duo...there's a...4x2..."
"What?!"
The blonde boy blushed darker as both Trowa and Duo stared at him, then they looked down at the paper they held and cursed. "I didn't do anything," he said defensively. "I don't know *what's* wrong with this person, writing stuff like that."
"Zechs is with everyone," Wufei said, relief audible as he scanned the warning to the story. "Not just me."
"But those aren't the *main* pairings," Heero reminded him, then he smirked and turned so he could look at his wide-eyed lover. "Duo, did you notice what position you have...in *all* of the pairings?"
"Wha...? What?! Damnit, why am I always on bottom?! I'm as much of a man as any of you!" The many raised eyebrows made him glare, and he pinned Quatre with a dark gaze. "And there's no way I wouldn't be able to dominate *you*."
"Hey!" Quatre cried, folding his arms over his chest. "What are you trying to say, Duo?"
"Just read the actual story," Heero said again, not wanting a fight to break out. "And remember that this is fiction."
"Fine, but we'll discus this later." Quatre scowled at Duo again, then looked down at the pages in his hands. Then the American suddenly laughed, and he blinked, glancing up in surprise. "What?"
"This title!" Duo choked, grinning widely. "And They All Came! Damn that's great!"
Heero smirked, but didn't say anything. He'd expected Duo to get a kick out of that, but he wondered if the boy would get the double meaning after reading the actual story. Still, it was a long story.
"Is...Dorothy and Relena..." Wufei seemed to have trouble asking the question, and his face looked a bit greenish. "Are they in this story with...us?"
"Oh yuck!" Duo bent forward, making retching noises as he gagged violently. "Eww...that's *so* gross! I ain't reading *that*!"
"They are just mentioned in the end," Heero said, agreeing with the boy's disgust. "And PWP...that means point what point, saying there isn't a real reason for the story." No one had asked, but he assumed they wouldn't know. Again, he was glad Relena had thought to do a *bit* of explaining before she'd sent him to the site.
"Is this her name?" Trowa seemed calmer than the others, but then, he usually *did* seem calm. "Arigatomina?"
"Yes," Heero nodded, his eyes glinting suddenly. "She's using two Japanese words, probably because Gundam Wing originated in Japan."
"What *is* Gundam Wing?" Duo asked suddenly.
"It's an anime series about us and the war," Heero said quickly, hoping they wouldn't find out he'd watched it. There had been simply too much of an implied relationship between him and Relena for him to be comfortable with it, and he could imagine how badly Duo would take *that*. "That's not important, though. Her name, it's thank you and everyone."
"I get it," Duo smiled, "Arigato and mina. That's cool. But didn't she spell thank you wrong? She has it with a u in her email address."
"Who cares," Wufei muttered, leaning forward to rip a kleenex out of the box nearest him. "Read the first page. Trowa, you move much too fast."
"What?" Trowa raised an eyebrow at the boy, then he blinked as he saw that Wufei was stemming a nose bleed. He turned his eyes to the page quickly, then he felt himself grow warm as well, not quite as bothered as the black-haired boy as the scene was something of a turn on. "Oh."
"Trowa..." Quatre smiled warmly, scooting his chair closer to the tall boy and wrapping an arm around his waist, "This is so sweet. You came just for me..."
"Oh my God!" Duo laughed suddenly, breaking the silence which had gone undisturbed aside from the sounds of kleenexes being pulled from boxes. They'd been reading. "Trowa...that's so corny, man. 'Quatre, you were made for loving'! Damn, you wouldn't actually *say* something like that...would you?" Duo's eyes suddenly widened as the tall boy's cheeks slowly darkened, and he turned, staring at Quatre's pleased smile. "You two...are so..."
"Sappy," Heero supplied, remembering the term. "Most stories about them tend to have tons of sap."
"Sap, sweet stuff, that sounds about right." Duo grinned, getting over his surprise as he cleared his throat, then he choked suddenly as he read the next scene. "Wufei?!"
"No!" The black-haired boy was beet red, and he shook his head quickly, holding a kleenex firmly to his nose. "I *never*...stared at you...well...that is..."
"Hn." Heero's eyes narrowed a bit, but he didn't let it bother him. Looking was fine, it was only if the boy acted on his attraction that he would have to kill him. And, as he'd told them before, it wasn't real.
"Damn...Wufei..." Quatre blushed, then he looked up at Duo in something akin to awe. "Are you really so bold? Offering to...help...him with his...problem...?"
"With me, he is," Heero said sharply, enjoying the way the long-haired boy stared at the table in embarrassment. "It gets worse...Wufei, you might want to take the entire box for the next part." The boy in question looked very worried, and Heero didn't so much as smirk when he pushed a box closer to Wufei. "I'm serious."
"Heero! You and Wufei?!" Duo had scanned ahead, and he stared at the printed words, picturing his lover dominating a lustful Wufei in a shower room. "Damn..."
"Hentai...isn't it." Heero smirked a bit, trying to hide how much his body was trying to react to the scene he was reading. While he didn't love Wufei, he had to appreciate the description.
**a few pages later**
"Okay, what's with this girl and bondage?" Duo asked, holding three wadded tissues to his nose as he shook his head slowly. "And why is it always Quatre? I mean, why not tie Heero up, or Trowa?" The two boys glared at him, but he scowled. "Seriously, I mean, Quatre *wanted* to be tied up. That's no fun..." The blonde boy was choking, hands hiding his face so only his pink forehead was visible. "And this...threesome...Trowa and Zechs *both* doing Quatre? This is crazy..."
"...." Trowa scowled at Duo, then rubbed the slim back beside him as Quatre finally managed to calm enough to glance up. "Quatre, I wouldn't."
"Why not?" Quatre frowned, ignoring Trowa's choked expression. "It's not like I'd be against a little playing, Trowa. After all, this author's right about one thing, I'm not afraid of a little pain. You don't always have to be sweet and gentle with me, you know."
"Quatre..."
"Not that I don't *love* sweet and gentle," the blonde said quickly, smiling, "but we could try this, *without* Zechs, however. Thank you, but no. He really isn't my type."
"I'd hope not," Duo grinned, his eyes flying over the next page or two. "Because from the looks of this, he's seeing Wufei kinda steady. I mean, Zechs is like a lecher or something." Wufei groaned, bowing his head, and Duo's grin widened. "You go, Wufei. After all, it would take quite a *man* to satisfy this guy."
"Maxwell...don't make me kill you..."
Heero raised an eyebrow, but he wasn't worried as Wufei hadn't so much as glanced up. He was very glad he had extra boxes, as the Chinese boy had used up one all by himself, the other two depleted rapidly by the multiple sex scenes they'd read. "Wait, the next one is Wufei and Quatre."
"What?" Trowa glared at the dark-eyed boy beside him, holding still only because Wufei looked as shaken by the news as Quatre did. "Let me read this..."
**more pages**
"I just don't know what to say," Duo murmured, staring at the blushing Trowa. "The thought of you acting like this...damn. And Heero," he turned to his lover, pleased that the Japanese boy was just as embarrassed. "Are you into voyeurism? I know this is just fiction, but you did squirm a lot when you read over it. Watching Trowa hold me down? I never would have expected it from you."
"Duo...you are a baka."
"Maybe," the longhaired boy shrugged, "But Trowa's a tease. I mean, having sex with Wufei, right there in the hallway? I don't care if you *were* drunk. That's just...so...not like you."
"You'd be surprised," Quatre said slowly, his pale blue-green eyes glinting as he enjoyed his tall lover's embarrassment. "You should have seen him the other day when I was shopping for clothes. He couldn't even wait until we got to the car. I bet the person who cleans those changing booths was shocked." Duo choked, staring at him in disbelief, and Quatre blushed, still smiling. "Yes, Trowa can be wild when he's...aroused."
"Okay, but why the hell, if Heero and I are one of the main pairings, did this girl make our...lemon...last?" Duo frowned, glaring at the page. "Does she not like us? I mean, Quatre and Trowa got to be first, and Wufei and..." He smiled suddenly, his voice taunting as he stared at Wufei. "...Zechs were in the middle. But I didn't get Heero until dead last."
"Who knows," Quatre said. "What I want to know is why she had *Relena* of all people, teaming up with *Dorothy* to record us having sex. There's no way..."
"I think that's why Relena read the story," Heero nodded. "The warning about Relena bashing was about the end. I think the author doesn't like her."
"This has been the most...unjust thing I have ever read." Wufei scowled at the others, folding his arms over his chest. "So, we are going to hunt this Arigatomina down, right? That's why you had us read this, isn't it Yuy."
Heero shook his head slowly. "This is just one of the stories, wait until you read some of the others. But not yet. I think we should get Zechs over here for the others." Wufei had turned pale, but he nodded. "He deserves to know, doesn't he?"
"...."
"Right," Duo smiled, nodding as if agreeing with Wufei's unspoken response. "Then it's settled. I'll call him now." The boy jumped out of his seat, but Duo was already running for the telephone. "I'll just be a second!"
* * *
TBC
