A Galaxy Far Far Away
Tasertricks Star Wars AU
xXx
How did she get herself into these situations? First Jabba now the Empire, it was like she wanted to die or something. She should have turned that guy away. Thor Odinson, a ridiculous name for a naive dreamer. Of course, she was following him into the empire's strong hold, dressed as a Stormtrooper, so maybe she didn't have any room to talk.
Hulk had tried to warn her, but once again, she didn't listen, too busy already counting the credits she wasn't likely to get now. Now Hulk was walking between then, cuff on his wrists, a disgusting sight for anyone who knew what he had to endure for so long. She just hoped this prince was worth it, because quite frankly, she had her doubts at this point.
"Alright, I've got him." Thor's voice was tinny through his helmets speaker. "Let's go."
Together they climbed into the elevator. The car descended, opening into a control area at the center of several connecting hallways. At the central consol were three stormtroopers, all of them looked up as the elevator doors slid open.
"Where are you taking this...thing?" one of the storm troopers asked. Hulk growled, and they all took a step back. "Good" Darcy thought. She should just let him loose to tear them apart. It was the least she could do for getting him into this mess.
"Prisoner transfer from block one-one-three-eight." Thor spoke up. Darcy didn't think it was possible for a stormtrooper to look suspicious through his helmet.
"I wasn't notified, I'll have to clear it."
The trooper turned to one of the computer banks and began punching something in. Darcy had a bad feeling about this. Making a split second decision, she discreetly loosened the cuffs around Hulk's wrists.
There's only a moment before all hell breaks loose. Hulk throws up his arms, letting loose a deafening roar, the likes of which scares the stormtroopers enough to forfeit reason.
"He's loose!" Darcy screamed in warning, diving out of the way in time to miss getting clipped by his massive forearm. Thor dove to the side as well, watching as Hulk tore into one of the consuls in the command hub.
"He's going to tear us apart!" Thor yelled as Hulk turned and ran down a connecting hallway.
"Go get him!" Darcy ordered, and she didn't have to tell him twice as he belatedly realized Hulk was heading in the direction of the Prince's cell.
Darcy pulled out her blaster and shot over his head, missing him and hitting the security cameras one after the other. It doesn't take long for the troopers to realize it wasn't an accident and she turns on them before they can retaliate, dropping them out one by one.
"We're at the cell, we need the gate unlocked!" Thor's voice floated back up the hallway and Darcy wondered if that force thing told him what she had done, or if he was really that stupid to give himself away. She hoped it was the first, she assumed it wasn't.
"Give me a minute." she called back, climbing over the prone body of a trooper and making her way over to a control panel. She vaguely heard the Hulk lumber back in as she got to work on the security system.
The intercom screeched on as she released the security gate to the Prince's cell.
"What's going on down there!"
Darcy put on her best official sounding voice. One she'd heard a million times in her three years in the Imperial Army.
"Everything is under control. Situation is normal."
"What happened?"
"Uh… slight...uh...weapons malfunction. Yeah, but, uh, everything's under control now. Everything is fine. We're fine…. How are you?"
She looked up at Hulk to find him looking at her incredulously. She shrugged. So subterfuge had never been her strong suit. Sue her.
"We're sending a unit up."
"Uh, negative. That's a bad idea. We've had a reactor leak. Very big. Very dangerous. Uh… give us a very minutes to lock it down."
"Who is this…."
She didn't give him a chance to reply, blasting the com.
"It was boring conversation anyway." she said to Hulk who grunted like he agreed. She turned to the connecting hallway Thor had gone down. "Thor! We're about to get some very unwanted company."
Meanwhile, Thor stepped through the cell door as it slid open, the hydraulic sound waking the man sleeping along the bench against the back wall. The man, Prince Loki, was tall and extremely handsome with his aristocratic features and long black hair. He appeared slender in build in his green and black leather and his complexion was pale. Thor had never met anyone more beautiful.
Loki sat up, propping himself up on his elbow and stared skeptically at Thor. "Aren't you a little tall to be a stormtrooper?" he asked. Thor looked down at himself, pulling off his helmet.
"Oh right, the uniform." he replied looking up when the helmet was clear. "I'm Thor Odinson. I'm here to rescue you."
"Who?" Loki asked.
"I'm here to rescue you." he repeated. "Your R-2 unit crash landed on Tatooine where I live. I got your message from him when I was repairing him."
"And you came all the way here from Tatooine to rescue someone you don't even know?" Loki questioned. Thor didn't have answer for that so he shrugged. Before Loki could reply, Darcy's voice carried down the hall in warning.
"Kriffing hell." Thor cursed. "Come on we have to go."
"Who was that?" Loki asked as he stood, running out after Thor.
"A friend… sort of ."
xXx
"Hulk!" Darcy exclaimed as a deep buzzing began on the other side of the elevator door. "They're cutting through the elevator doors." she continued. Hulk simply growled in reply, prying a blaster from one of the dead stormtroopers. As they set up defensively, the stormtroopers managed to cut through the door and Darcy and Hulk fired through the new opening, pushing the troopers back enough to escape down the cell block hallway.
"Can't get out that way!" Darcy said as they met up with Thor and Loki.
"Looks like you've managed to cut off our only escape." Loki sneered.
Darcy sneered right back. "Maybe you would like it back in your cell your majesty." she turned on her heel and began firing off down the hallway, trading fire with the approaching unit.
"There's no other way out of here." Thor yelled over the blaster fire.
The troopers were giving an quarter, the small passage filling up with smoke as they laid down a steady torrent of laser fire. Thor and Loki crouched together behind a small out cropping, keeping their eyes on Darcy and Hulk as they fired back.
"I can't hold them off forever, no what?" Darcy asked. Hulk roared as a laser clipped his arm.
"This is some rescue." Loki shouted. "When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?"
Darcy ducked back, looking down at the prince. "He's the brains sweetheart." she told him, gesturing to Thor. Loki looked to the large man and Thor looked back sheepishly.
"I didn't think…"
Loki cut him off. "Oh for the love of Nahut." he exclaimed, grabbing the blaster from him and turning toward Darcy. He fired at a grate on the wall, just barely missing Darcy.
"What the kriffing hell are you doing!" Darcy screamed, jumping away from the smoldering wreck of what she realized was the garbage chute door.
"Somebody has to save out asses." Loki replied tossing the blaster away. "Get in the garbage chute!"
Darcy, Hulk and Thor watched on in shock as Loki dove in. They were only pulled from their stuppor by a blaster bolt barely missing them.
"Shit we have to go!" Darcy exclaimed, pushing Thor toward the chute. He didn't need convincing, jumping in. Hulk approached next, sniffing as he got close.
"Smell bad." he grunted and Darcy rolled her eyes.
"It's a garbage chute, what did you expect!"
xXx
The garbage chute was a nightmare and a half, so leaving it should have been a big relief. Of course, they were still on an imperial destroyer so it kind of belayed any joy of escape.
As the group moved along, Darcy and Thor shed their trooper armor.
"If we can just avoid anymore princely advice, we should be able to get out of here." Darcy said, handing Thor her blaster to take the last of the armor off. Thor grinned, not outwardly agreeing or disagreeing.
"Let's get moving." Thor said.
Before they could make it very far, Hulk growled pointing at the garbage chute door and taking off down the hall. He stopped a good distance away, growling again.
"Where are you going?" Darcy asked.
Suddenly a tentacle shot out of the garbage chute and without thinking, Darcy turned to fire at it.
"No! They'll hear you." Loki warned. But it was too late. The shot rang out, filling the hallway with a monsterous echo. Loki glared down at her. "Listen, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, but from now on, you do as I tell you. Okay?"
Darcy was stunned for only a minute before she screwed up her face, puffed out her chest and stood toe to toe with the much larger prince. "Look, Your highness, let's get one thing straight. I don't take orders from anyone but me!"
Under different circumstances Loki would have found the young woman tenacious, but he was tired and hungry and his body ached and he smelled like garbage and he just wanted to go home. But he couldn't, because he'd watched Jotunheim destroyed not a cycle earlier. So, with a huff her replied; "Well it's a wonder you're still alive." before stepping around her and storming off.
Darcy turned to Thor, her face bright red, rage burning in her eyes.
"No reward is worth this."
