Disclaimer: I don't own FB ;;
Authoress Note: This is just a rambling poem I wrote for Akito-sama. It's really sad. ;;
Darkest Tears
I rouse myself from blissful repose
Opening ebony eyes up to another day
I rest in silence with only my heart
Wondering just how long it will stay
I ponder, staring up at the ceiling
Wondering, pondering, how long that beat
Shall force the crimson poison through me
That for so long has given my body heat
My breath comes slowly, to fill reluctant lungs
I sigh and tear my eyes from up above
And look about me as if something a had changed
But, alas, it is the same room, devoid of any love
The walls are empty save one work of art
There are few items to break the barren floor
Nothing fills this void air save my single friend
My fine feathered friend that flutters through the door
He perches effortlessly, looking about him suspiciously
Then cautiously dips down his snowy head to drink
And with a gleeful chirp my way, he's gone
He leaves me in silence again to think
During these times I think of many a thing
Of how wondrous the sun would feel
How nice it would be to run in the spring air
But these things are dreams, they'll never be real
I force myself with all my might, upright
My muscles aching from this grueling test
My throat closes with pain and I strain
To pull air into my compressed chest
For a moment I sit, hesitating, waiting
As I cannot push my pounding heart too far
But as I rest, a taste wells up into my mouth
And leaves another stain on my bed, one more crimson scar
Wheezing, my lung open and fill themselves again
I glance upon the silent door, no one came
No one heard me in my strife and came to aid
But whether they did or not made no difference all the same
The damage was done, my disease had won
And soon would come again and again relentlessly
Until I am deprived of breath and beat
And lay within my grave, wordlessly
The silence of my room is deafening
And my thoughts of freedom enter my mind
A blackness arrives and I fall, screaming, streaming
Into my world of dreaming, everything left behind
But even here in my wistful world of wishes
There is one thing I cannot seem to change
Even in my subconscious mind, there's no one there
To be happy, but alone, it seems a little strange
If only I could somehow alter this horrid fact
And have someone here to understand
I would gladly give up all my wealth
My freedom and everything I am
As I float back into the world of the living
Where merely a half of my tortured soul resides
Where the dreams, they seem so real
And reality is so painful, it's hard to decide
Whether to let go and fall away
To fade into the eternal blackness of death
Or to hold on to what I have remaining
To not let go till my last possible breath
With the rustle of magenta and purple silks
I pick myself up from where I lay
And make my way on hands and knees
To a brighter place I can stay
I lay my form upon the waxen wood
And rest my head upon a folded arm
I close my eyes and drift in delight
Of the day, all sunny and warm
At moments like these are when I feel
Something somewhere close to joy
And I cling mercilessly to that emotion
To keep my soul from being destroyed
But this wondrous feeling, it soon fades
It leaves before too long, and I beg for return
But it's gone and will not come back
It has left my rage and envy to burn
My hatred from the lowest circles
That only my fear alone can surpass
I writhe within the inferno of my mind
That burn away and leave me gray as ash
The ash that makes the land wasteful
That leaves nothing but tones of death
I've destroyed more than I could ever know
And more pain comes with each breath
All I know is deathly black and gray
And pain, and hatred, and sorrow
All around me, all I see I cannot have
I one day won't even have the morrow
I'm in a world of deprived plenty
A luscious land of shattered bone
Everything I have I do not want
Everything I desire I cannot own
For me, there is nothing I can hold dear
I am left upon the shore of disease
Sprawled across the sands of splintered lives
The sanguinary froth lapping at my feet
Before I realize it, I'm being strangled
Struggling just below the shimmering crest
I fight to reach the surface, safety, salvation
My strength failing, falling to the pain in my chest
So I drift, suspended, sustained, remaining
Only by my body's weakening will to live
I'm wrapped with the coils of death and illness
My body without anything left to give
I drown, taking the bloody sea into my lungs
But I still remain, alive, I'm still the same
My beating heart remains just as hollow
Inside my still pale and sickly frame
My hands are still shaking with resist
The numb of the end doesn't send me reeling
Yet my eyes become too misted to see
I speak silent words toward the ceiling
My chest is racked with violent tension
While my mind's lost in my dreams
I cannot feel my life slowly slipping
But I'm deafening my ears with my screams
But even though I call for aid
While my crimson tears do flow
No matter how I try and convince myself
In my heart, I will always know
Wherever I am within this life
I will forever rest in solitude
That fuels my ever burning rage
Gives my shadows where I can brood
Where I can scream and cry and hate
Whomever I damn well please
I can take all the medication I need
To put my tortured soul at ease
I will be left in my underwater world
Where I teeter between this life and the next
Where I must linger and suffer some more
Before I can finally be put to rest
But even if I reach my Nirvana
Where my endless pain will finally desist
I guess now there's no use in trying
There's no reason left to resist
But will my soul truly find its paradise
If I pass in this lonesome hating place
If as I fade, I do not see
The tearful smile on someone's face
For to die alone, without a hand to hold
That thought stirs my darkest fears
But to die, forgotten, without a soul who cares
That thought stirs in me, my darkest tears
Another Authoress Note:
Rem: I LOVE AKITO-SAMA! ::cries:: I'll die with you! ::pulls out a dagger:: OH HAPPY DAGGER!! ::stabs herself in the heart::
Akito: oO Strange, rabid fangirl.
Rem: Oh, you're alive? ::bleeding all over the place::
Akito: ::moves away so his kimono won't get stained:: yeah . . .
Rem: Damn ::dies::
Akito: Oo Ooooook then. Well I hope you like her poem, I sure did.
Authoress Note: This is just a rambling poem I wrote for Akito-sama. It's really sad. ;;
Darkest Tears
I rouse myself from blissful repose
Opening ebony eyes up to another day
I rest in silence with only my heart
Wondering just how long it will stay
I ponder, staring up at the ceiling
Wondering, pondering, how long that beat
Shall force the crimson poison through me
That for so long has given my body heat
My breath comes slowly, to fill reluctant lungs
I sigh and tear my eyes from up above
And look about me as if something a had changed
But, alas, it is the same room, devoid of any love
The walls are empty save one work of art
There are few items to break the barren floor
Nothing fills this void air save my single friend
My fine feathered friend that flutters through the door
He perches effortlessly, looking about him suspiciously
Then cautiously dips down his snowy head to drink
And with a gleeful chirp my way, he's gone
He leaves me in silence again to think
During these times I think of many a thing
Of how wondrous the sun would feel
How nice it would be to run in the spring air
But these things are dreams, they'll never be real
I force myself with all my might, upright
My muscles aching from this grueling test
My throat closes with pain and I strain
To pull air into my compressed chest
For a moment I sit, hesitating, waiting
As I cannot push my pounding heart too far
But as I rest, a taste wells up into my mouth
And leaves another stain on my bed, one more crimson scar
Wheezing, my lung open and fill themselves again
I glance upon the silent door, no one came
No one heard me in my strife and came to aid
But whether they did or not made no difference all the same
The damage was done, my disease had won
And soon would come again and again relentlessly
Until I am deprived of breath and beat
And lay within my grave, wordlessly
The silence of my room is deafening
And my thoughts of freedom enter my mind
A blackness arrives and I fall, screaming, streaming
Into my world of dreaming, everything left behind
But even here in my wistful world of wishes
There is one thing I cannot seem to change
Even in my subconscious mind, there's no one there
To be happy, but alone, it seems a little strange
If only I could somehow alter this horrid fact
And have someone here to understand
I would gladly give up all my wealth
My freedom and everything I am
As I float back into the world of the living
Where merely a half of my tortured soul resides
Where the dreams, they seem so real
And reality is so painful, it's hard to decide
Whether to let go and fall away
To fade into the eternal blackness of death
Or to hold on to what I have remaining
To not let go till my last possible breath
With the rustle of magenta and purple silks
I pick myself up from where I lay
And make my way on hands and knees
To a brighter place I can stay
I lay my form upon the waxen wood
And rest my head upon a folded arm
I close my eyes and drift in delight
Of the day, all sunny and warm
At moments like these are when I feel
Something somewhere close to joy
And I cling mercilessly to that emotion
To keep my soul from being destroyed
But this wondrous feeling, it soon fades
It leaves before too long, and I beg for return
But it's gone and will not come back
It has left my rage and envy to burn
My hatred from the lowest circles
That only my fear alone can surpass
I writhe within the inferno of my mind
That burn away and leave me gray as ash
The ash that makes the land wasteful
That leaves nothing but tones of death
I've destroyed more than I could ever know
And more pain comes with each breath
All I know is deathly black and gray
And pain, and hatred, and sorrow
All around me, all I see I cannot have
I one day won't even have the morrow
I'm in a world of deprived plenty
A luscious land of shattered bone
Everything I have I do not want
Everything I desire I cannot own
For me, there is nothing I can hold dear
I am left upon the shore of disease
Sprawled across the sands of splintered lives
The sanguinary froth lapping at my feet
Before I realize it, I'm being strangled
Struggling just below the shimmering crest
I fight to reach the surface, safety, salvation
My strength failing, falling to the pain in my chest
So I drift, suspended, sustained, remaining
Only by my body's weakening will to live
I'm wrapped with the coils of death and illness
My body without anything left to give
I drown, taking the bloody sea into my lungs
But I still remain, alive, I'm still the same
My beating heart remains just as hollow
Inside my still pale and sickly frame
My hands are still shaking with resist
The numb of the end doesn't send me reeling
Yet my eyes become too misted to see
I speak silent words toward the ceiling
My chest is racked with violent tension
While my mind's lost in my dreams
I cannot feel my life slowly slipping
But I'm deafening my ears with my screams
But even though I call for aid
While my crimson tears do flow
No matter how I try and convince myself
In my heart, I will always know
Wherever I am within this life
I will forever rest in solitude
That fuels my ever burning rage
Gives my shadows where I can brood
Where I can scream and cry and hate
Whomever I damn well please
I can take all the medication I need
To put my tortured soul at ease
I will be left in my underwater world
Where I teeter between this life and the next
Where I must linger and suffer some more
Before I can finally be put to rest
But even if I reach my Nirvana
Where my endless pain will finally desist
I guess now there's no use in trying
There's no reason left to resist
But will my soul truly find its paradise
If I pass in this lonesome hating place
If as I fade, I do not see
The tearful smile on someone's face
For to die alone, without a hand to hold
That thought stirs my darkest fears
But to die, forgotten, without a soul who cares
That thought stirs in me, my darkest tears
Another Authoress Note:
Rem: I LOVE AKITO-SAMA! ::cries:: I'll die with you! ::pulls out a dagger:: OH HAPPY DAGGER!! ::stabs herself in the heart::
Akito: oO Strange, rabid fangirl.
Rem: Oh, you're alive? ::bleeding all over the place::
Akito: ::moves away so his kimono won't get stained:: yeah . . .
Rem: Damn ::dies::
Akito: Oo Ooooook then. Well I hope you like her poem, I sure did.
