A/N: You know, this is all Robert's fault.

ATTENTION: I DO NOT OWN POCKY, NARUTO, FINAL FANTASY, ELDER SCROLLS, OR ANY OTHER THING REFERENCED IN THIS FIC. THIS IS FAN FICTION AND NOT FOR PROFIT.


Jashin's Pub - Chapter 1


Jashin walked into a nearby pub, one that he just happened to own himself. It was business as usual, though he'd be lying if he said that he wouldn't have a few drinks. After all, it was his pub, and he knew that the day to day bar stewardess would have his seat ready. Though he may have been an evil deity, he wasn't exactly forbidden from enjoying himself. With a calm stretch, he entered the little pub situated in a location that is yet to be disclosed. The Night Mother was there tending to the bar as usual, in charge when he wasn't around. He waved to her briefly as he glanced over the other patrons, pausing before taking his seat. With a toothy grin he leaned against the counter, his metal necklace clanging against the wood, the upside-down triangle emblem sliding slightly.

"So... Hear any news from the other parts of Tamriel?"

She scoffed at him with a disgusted look on her face while cleaning one of the bar glasses. "If I hear that irritating line ONE more time, I'll strangle myself."

"A lot of good that would do," he said with a chuckle. "How's business tonight?"

"Steady, not busy or slow, just average." She paused after she set the glass down, glaring at him with mock indignation. "The usual?"

He waved a hand immediately. "No, no. Not tonight. I was going to come down here and ask if you knew what Pocky was."

Her shadowy eyebrow rose curiously. "You don't know what Pocky is?"

"Hidan asked me for a lifetime's supply of Pocky the last time I saw him. Didn't know what the stuff was so I said I'd think about it. I swear, he asks for stranger and stranger things every time I see him..."

She gave him a hard to read smile before heading to the back kitchen, returning with a red box declaring that yes indeed, this was Pocky. Chocolate Pocky, to be precise. She set it down in front of him with another peculiar smile before speaking. "You know, I just ordered some of this in, and ever since, business has increased. Try it, you might like it too."

He stared at the box in his hand cautiously, not sure whether he should eat strange food, but he was distracted by a stranger coming up and to his right, leaning over the bar lazily, her pale white hair draping over the counter. A metal plate read "JENOVA" and her body seemed to be made of all kinds of unusual parts. Were those things WINGS? Who knew... Whoever she was, that silver hair was just downright pretty. She noticed him next to her and grinned. "Sorry, bud. Didn't mean to shove right in. Who might you be?"

He stopped fiddling with the box of Pocky to glance at her. "I'm this pub's proprietor. Hey, have you ever had this stuff?" He held up the box for her to look at.

She snatched it out of his hands with a wide grin. "Hey! Pocky! I love this stuff!" She immediately opened the box and took out one of the packs of Pocky. However, just as she was about to eat one of the delicious chocolate covered cookie sticks, a small trio of white haired men burst through the door- and I mean THROUGH the door. She sighed with defeat down at the Pocky stick, recognizing those three easily. Laz, Yazoo and Kadaj. Well, damn. The moment they entered, Laz looked like he was about ready to cry and Kadaj started yelling. "Mommy, mommy! Come quick, our brother is trying to beat us up and we're scared!"

With a mental groan she pointed at them, eyebrows furrowed fiercely. "I'm not your real mother now GET OUT OF HERE!"

The three scurried out of the wrecked door as the Night Mother sighed. "They wrecked the door again."

Jashin couldn't help but look a little surprised. "This happens... often?"

She nodded ruefully. "Yeah, they come in whenever Jenova comes in. Stick around and you'll see all of the other crazies that come by. You don't usually come in this late, you know. It would be good for you to see how a real night goes."

Well, he couldn't argue with that. Ever since the bar's founding, he had needed to hire the Night Mother due to his deity related duties and seldom had the day off. However, tonight he could spare it. "Alright. I guess I'll stick around a little longer..."


A/N: A prologue. Have your eyes started to bleed yet? Haha...