Maybe this is exactly how it is supposed to be.

Maybe everything is exactly as it should be.

Oh God.

The words exit my mouth without I even realize it.

She is shaking her head in denial while I'm frozen with a knife in my hands. A knife directly connected to Travis's heart.

I stare at Deb and Deb stares at me, that look in her eyes…broken, betrayed, a look I've never seen in them before. Not after Rudy, not after Lundy's death. Never.

What have I done? Travis's heart bleeds out, his blood dripping on my shoes. I look up to her again and it's only now I realize that the moment I knew I couldn't avoid forever has finally come.

I sit slowly to the plastic wrap on the floor staring at the wall. It hits me like a burning hot wave of heat. The impact of my dark passenger in her life. In the life of the lieutenant of homicide. In the life of my sister. "If I had feelings for anyone, I'd have them for Deb."

She saw you, she saw you stubbing a man in the chest. She saw the inside of the kill room, the tools, the thrill of the kill.

What have I done?

I must have been sitting hopelessly in the floor for a long time because when I turn my head she's gone for good.

Deb:

Holly fuck, holly fuck, holly franken fuck!

He killed him, he killed Travis Marshall. My brother killed Travis Marshall.

I'm running away from the church, my mind is so fucked up with what I just saw, that I don't know where am I going, only that I'm running away from him.

Shit. I probably stumbled to some root or something coz I'm facing the soil before I even realize it. Then it hits me.

His smile.

The only time I've seen Dexter smile. His moves, the tone of his voice, his sharpened reflexes, the confidence of his moves while holding the knife, while stabbing Travis Marshall.

I throw up, my stomach flushes everything out and then I throw up some more. Dexter, the man I thought I loved, the only real man in my life…. A killer. Fuck.

I get up and stare at the woods. Where the fuck am I? It takes me a while to orientate, and then I start walking away again. When I am at the road I can distinguish my car back there, so I hesitate. How far could I go on foot? I should go get it?

What if he's waiting for me there? What if he tries to get rid of me because of what I saw?