Author's Note:

Bad Vibe Champion (BVC) is a fanfic about original characters. They aren't Mary Sues or self-inserts, they also aren't any missing brothers or cousins to the canon characters, don't worry. The idea for this fic formed during a multiplayer session with my friend Blastedking, when her male Human Adept kept pulling the targets out of my Turian Ghost Infiltrator's focus just when I was about to headshot them.

The story is roughly set during the end of ME2.

You'll find here: Humor, drama, action, a tsundere turian, a human male who's everybody's darling, banter, bitching, some classic tropes we all love, maybe some new spins and twists, growing friendship that builds up to more. No smut here because ffnet, but that's what AO3 is for

You should read this story because it has fun, dorky and over-dramatic original characters experiencing an adventure of their own, independent from whatever Shepard's gang might be up to elsewhere in the galaxy. You should also read this if you have a soft spot for male human/male turian relationships and slow build up. Also, so I've been told, some of the side chars are likable.

You shouldn't read this story if you don't like male human/male turian relationships, have a deep-rooted hate for ocs no matter how not mary-sue'ish they are, or if you're only interested in fanfics that focus on canon characters being lovey-dovey. You also shouldn't read this if you think that non-native speakers should be banned from writing in English.

You should, however, read this if you like "well written characters", like to laugh or to have your heart broken (not my words! I'm more critical, but who am I to disregard the opinions of nice people who took the time to write some nice words!).

Another very important piece of information: The cover was drawn by Blastedking, you can find her on Deviantart and tumblr.

Finally, a promise: This is the longest author's note you'll ever see in a chapter of BVC.

Well, with that out of the way - read on and have fun!

"Do you hear me? Meyrani?" A shot cut the air above his head, and Arek swore he felt his hair tingle. A little bit too precise for his liking, and coming from the left stairway – wonderful, if they flanked him from both sides he was in trouble. He took cover behind the door frame of the evacuated lab, and peeked around the corner. "Meyrani? Do you copy? I need a little help!"

"Amalthea here! Meyrani is wounded. Can you come over here?"

He heard the strain in the asari's usually mellow but confident voice. Her words were interrupted by a hail of projectiles – Meyrani's turret. So they were close to that beast of a weapon. Good. If the turian wasn't in the state to keep it going under fire – less good.

"Like I'd ever say no when you call for me." he muttered. A quick glance on his omni-tool gave their position away, close to the shuttle's landing zone. "Other end of this damn place, typical." A window shattered, shards of glass rained into his hiding place.

The good – once he was out here, he'd be at the rendezvous spot in a few minutes. The bad – Cerberus troopers were closing in from one side, more or them from the other side, and he would have sworn he'd spotted at least two red dots searching for his forehead. The ugly – nope, couldn't get much worse than this, unless they brought phantoms. Phantoms. He snorted. More like space ninjas, didn't Cerberus have any pride?

"Thea, any sign of Mojo?" He chuckled at the current of asarian curses. That the translator couldn't catch them told him more about Amalthea's opinion about their sniper than the actual words if he understood them.

"You're sexy when you're pissed." So, what were his options? He had enough strength left for a biotic attack or two. Left way – longer, good spots to take cover, for him and the enemy forces alike. Right way – shorter, and he'd offer himself on a silver plate.

"Move your dumb ass over here, at once!"

"Of course, milady!" Where the fuck was that turian asshole if he – for once – could use his help? "Screw him. Alright, have to get outta here all by my lonely self, so I'll get outta here all by my lonely self."

"Stop monologuing and HURRY! Shuttle's coming!"

"On my way! Oh fuck..." A grenade rolled through the doorway. Smoke bomb!

Coughing, he staggered towards the broken window. Dammit, the filter of his mask was broken, just what he needed right now. Plus, his ankles were hurting. Meyrani was right, he should consider climbing ladders once in a while instead of jumping down, especially without checking what awaited him below. Like the remains of broken furniture.

"There are no problems, only challenges. Come on, kid, don't embarrass the human race now!" He took a deep breath, and dashed towards the window. He catapulted himself forward, a biotic shield flickering around him when he broke through the last intact glass panel.

Arek rolled over the ground and leapt back to his feet – and ran. Amalthea was yelling in his ear, projectiles were buzzing around him, and he almost missed the treacherous humming of a Nemesis' rifle. He dived down and rolled out of the deadly shot's way. Something exploded behind him, but he'd care another day. Throwing a volley of shock waves to his left and right he kept running, counting on his luck that they'd throw some of the troopers off their feet. A slim figure jumped out of her cover, a blue force filed flickering around her.

"To hell with you, space ninja!" he panted behind his helmet. "Come on, come on, just a small one!" He dashed towards the phantom in front of him. At this rate, that jerk just needed to lift her blade and he'd run right into it, unless...

"Hallelujah!" A blue, wavering cloud formed behind the phantom, and pulled her up into the air. The singularity field was weak, and she dropped to the ground only a second after her sword. But that was enough for Arek.

Gathering what strength and breath he had left he sprinted past her.

He jumped around another corner, hearing swift steps behind him closing up.

"YO!" He yelled over the bullets and the shrill yells behind his back. He leapt over a steam pipe, and let himself fall. Rolling on his back, he looked up at the two familiar faces.

The dark eyes of the asari sentinel glared at him, the blue eyes of the turian engineer blinked, and fell shut again. Meyrani was leaning against Amalthea, her left arm covered with a blood-soaked bandage. More blood seeped between the cracks of the armor of her left leg.

"Rani, forget what I ever said about scrap metal. I love your turret, she's a babe, just like you!" Panting, he sat up, and pulled his smg from his back.

The Engineer chuckled, but the sound changed into a pained groan when she tried to retort.

"Bad?"

"Bad enough." Amalthea clenched her fists. Arek wondered if she owed the frightening growl to her krogan father, or if all asari could make this spine-chilling noise. If so, he made a mental note to himself, he better crossed asari worlds from his vacation list.

"Where's the shuttle?" a deep, monotonous voice was ringing in his ears.

"Now, where are YOU coming from, all of the sudden?" Arek spat at the turian.

"Over there." He pointed at the wall of crates behind them. "Too much going on in the passages and yards. Did you do any work at all?" He slumped to the ground next to Arek, stretching his legs. His sniper rifle rested on his lap.

"Listen, you idiot!" Arek jumped to his feet, but a dozen of projectiles flying over his head quickly convinced him to fall back behind their cover.

"Mojo, we could have needed you, either here with Meyrani, or as backup for Arek!" Amalthea's fists were trembling, and Arek feared for a moment she'd repeat his mistake and stand up, just for the satisfaction of shouting down at the turian.

"My job description said nothing about babysitting amateurs. If you can't take care of yourself, go back to the training room, and let the professionals do the work."

"Don't even think you can talk to us like that!" Arek shoved himself between Mojo and Amalthea. There was this sparkle in her eye, and it wouldn't help any of them if she hurled a warp blow at him. Not that the thought wasn't tempting. He almost envied her to have enough strength left for another attack. Well, as he didn't, he'd have to use his common sense.

"Let me guess, you found a nest somewhere in the back, and were counting headshots, right?" He took the lack of a reply as a "yes.". If there was an opportunity, no matter how small, to rub into anyone's face when they were wrong, Mojo wouldn't let it slip.

"Dammit, is it that difficult for your brain to get?" Maybe it helps if I grabbed your rifle and clobbered it over your head. How would you like that, asshole? "We're four against dozens on these special ops, we rely on teamwork! How 'bout pulling yourself together for a change, and add to it?"

"You're the leader now?"

"Uh..."

"Stop preaching then." He lifted his rifle, and looked through the scope. Arek withstood the urge to turn his head around. If Mojo was aiming at something specific, he'd take care of it. If not – he'd let Arek know that he was fooled too easily, and Arek wouldn't promise that he wouldn't try to conjure a warp attack, even if it pulled his own body apart.

"Pah, like you'd listen if I was the leader." If he strangled him now, would anybody convict him? If they knew what he had to put up with day after day? Arrogant son of a bitch who thought he was so much better than the rest of them! Arek would give his left hand for an opportunity to kick Mojo from his high horse.

"You know what? Maybe I'll be the leader! It's not decided yet, and I can tell you square who'd suck at being the leader! Have a hint, he's obnoxious, a millstone around our necks during missions, and he's also ugly!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Oh, come on, now you aren't even trying!"

"As fuzz-face is too busy with prattling,maybe YOU have time tell me where that shuttle is." Mojo nodded at the growling asari.

"Oh, don't worry, Mojo. We're fine. We failed to hack the data protocols, Meyrani is hurt but won't die, and we almost lost Arek because nobody had his back. Thanks for asking."

"The shuttle?"

"Goddess help me..." She looked up into the sky, sending a quick, silent prayer. "I called it, it's coming, and will be here in a few minutes. Happy?"

"If you tell me next time that it takes another while instead of lying, maybe."

"Arek, hold Rani for a moment, I'll-"

Arek rolled from his spot over to the asari. He patted her back, giving an understanding nod. Then he crept along the air duct that buit the last barrier of their hideout, raising his head enough to risk a peek. He thought he had heard the sound of metal stomping on solid ground, and he didn't like it at all.

"Don't waste your breath on our little Miss Sunshine. What do you think reaches us first, our shuttle, or their Atlas? If you win, I owe you dinner."