Another boring day in the office. I never miss my days in the Special Forces, but some days I really miss doing apprehension work. I especially miss doing them with Stephanie Plum. She still asks me to help her with her more violent fugitives, but I don't get to spend nearly as much time with her as I used to.
Stop thinking about her so much, I scold myself. You have a job to do. But no matter how hard I try to focus, I don't see the bills and request forms piled in front of me. I see wild, dark hair, that creamy skin she has to work so hard to make only slightly darker, and those innocent, yet still battle-scarred eyes.
I remember the first time I met her. Vinnie had me train her to be a bounty hunter, with moderate success. She pulled Morelli in, at least, in more ways than one.
Morelli. I had some respect for the man, mostly because between our similar job descriptions and our taste in women, or one woman in particular, forced our paths to cross at frequent intervals. Still, that didn't mean that I had friendly feelings toward him.
Get back to work, Manoso.
You can't. Because you finally realized what's been obvious to everyone else basically from the beginning.
You love her.
No, I can't let myself admit that, even to myself. Because…
Because her wedding is in two weeks. Her wedding to Joseph Morelli. I never thought he'd actually go through with it, any of it. The proposal, the engagement, the planning, the wedding. I always thought he was using her. Yes, I could always tell that he cared for her. Cared for her deeply. But he and I are the same in many ways. Neither of us are willing to commit. But over the years, I guess she wore him down. No man can say no to marrying a woman like Stephanie for so long.
No man except for me.
Stephanie's made it very clear that whatever we've let grow between us over the years needs to end, and I respect that. I really do. That doesn't make it any easier for me.
She called me the morning after he proposed to her. He'd done it in his bed, of course. She'd stayed the night, but he had to leave for work early that morning, and she didn't have a car with her.
"Hey," she greeted me over the phone
"Babe," I said back. I'm a man of few words. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because not everything needs to be said. Stephanie's learned to glean a lot of information from this one word.
"We need to talk. Can you come pick me up? I'm sort of stranded."
I glanced through my office door into the control room, where all of the company's trackers are displayed at all times. I saw the dot that signified Stephanie positioned directly over where I knew Morelli's house was. Of course, I didn't know about the proposal yet.
"I'm guessing your one night stand snatched you away and left you without a car then."
I could practically hear the frustration in her voice. "God damn it, Ranger. I told you to stop planting those trackers on me. And he's not a one night stand."
"It's for your own safety, Babe." She knew as well as I did that she'd be dead if it wasn't for my habit of putting trackers on her car, in her purse, and occasionally in her clothes as well.
I wasn't touching the one night stand thing.
Obviously reaching the same conclusion I had, she sighed. "Just come get me. It's important."
I could tell. I didn't even bother saying goodbye before I hung up. She'd know I was on my way.
When I pulled into Morelli's driveway, she was already waiting for me outside. She looked… different, somehow. She was purposely avoiding eye contact, and she seemed to be having trouble taking in a breath.
"Calm down, Babe. You're starting to make even me nervous," I soothed.
"I know, I'm sorry, it's just... ," she turned to look at me then. "Things have changed, Ranger."
"I'm afraid I'm not following you," I told her with a smirk on my face.
She looked back down at her lap and the hands she kept folded there, and I noticed something I hadn't noticed before.
The ring.
We both sat silently, me spending a few moments staring in shock at the ring, then at her face, my smirk from earlier completely erased from my featuresI watched as her cheeks became pink and then red, spreading from her nose outward until even her ears looked like they were burning. Neither of us knew what to say or how to break the silence.
Right as I opened my mouth to speak, she started babbling. Good thing, too, because I had no idea what I would have said if she hadn't.
"It happened last night. You know I've been trying to get him to propose for weeks, and I didn't think it was going to happen, I thought maybe you were right, that he really has been stringing me along for all these years, and I was so upset, but then he called me yesterday and-"
"Do you love him?" I interrupted her. I don't know why I did it. I already knew the answer.
"Yes," she said immediately. But I saw something in her eyes, heard something in her tone that made me ask the next question.
"But you love me, too?"
Again, I already knew the answer to this one. I knew she wouldn't waste her time with me if she didn't. She wouldn't share a bed with me if she didn't. But still, I needed to hear her say it. One more time.
"Ranger, I-" she said, her panicked expression begging me not to make her do this.
"No. Stop. Just answer the question," I pleaded
I could tell that it hurt her to admit it. But I didn't really care at that point, in that moment. In that moment, all I cared about was her next words.
"Ranger, of course I do. You know that. You always have."
I let out a sigh of relief. Once more, I don't know why I did. I'd made no secret of the fact that I wasn't ready for marriage. I had too much of my past haunting me. I'd seen too much, done too much. I didn't deserve to be happy. At least, not in the way being married to Stephanie would make me. Not yet.
I thought I had more time. I thought I would get lucky, that I could atone for my sins and get rid of the ghosts I live with every day. Then I could finally be happy.
Now I may never get that chance.
A/N: Hey everyone! I just finished reading Janet's Turbo Twenty-three and it drove me insane. I hate how Stephanie keeps flopping between these two men who both are completely devoted to her, and she doesn't really seem to care that much about either of them other than for sex and whatever lifestyle she thinks they can give her. Sooooo I'm writing the story the way I so badly want it to go. Obviously, I don't own any of the characters or the the original story, but I'm borrowing them and taking them on a little joy ride for a while. This is my first serious fanfiction that I've even gotten close to considering posting, so please go easy on me! I hope you enjoy, and I should be able to update this pretty regularly. I have an idea of where I want it to go, but I'm not sure how long it's going to take us to get there. We'll see, I guess! Thanks for reading!
